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Thread: Beer

  1. #1
    Boozer
    "Sometimes...when I reflect back on all the beer I drink, I feel
    shamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the
    brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer,
    they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I
    say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams
    come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
    ~ Jack Handy
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
    morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "
    ~Frank Sinatra
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    "When I read about the evils of drinking...I gave up reading."
    ~ Henny Youngman
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
    ~ Stephen Wright
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
    When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to
    heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
    ~ Brian O'Rourke
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~ Benjamin Franklin
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of
    mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine
    invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
    ~ Dave Barry
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!!!
    ~ "Unknown"
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of
    Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff was explaining the Buffalo Theory
    to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went:
    "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only
    move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is
    the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This
    natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general
    speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular
    killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain
    can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of
    alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the
    slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption
    of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and
    more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few
    beers"

  2. #2
    Mardonzi
    I second the motion!!!

  3. #3
    chub
    That's what I'm talking about!!!!

  4. #4
    AleAlchemist
    Is that why i remember less and less after drinking?

  5. #5
    Jbb
    We appreciate that.... :smile:
    Sometimes...when I reflect back on all the beer I drink, I feel
    shamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the
    brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer,
    they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I
    say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams
    come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
    ~ Jack Handy

  6. #6

  7. #7
    mickeyfinn
    careful boozer......Drink too much beer and you may face the undeniable impulse to steal a lawn mower....

  8. #8
    AleAlchemist
    "Give a man a beer and he'll waste an hour.
    Show a man how to make that beer and he'll waste his life!"
    - Unknown
    and what a wasted life its been!

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