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Thread: No Sex Tonight

  1. #1
    Lightning
    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
    much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
    never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
    FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
    Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
    like it, I just want you to hold me."
    I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
    "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
    to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
    by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
    the bedroom?"
    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
    her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
    unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
    several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
    take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
    compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
    went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
    earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
    one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
    she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
    tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
    She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
    Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
    dear, let's go to the cashier."
    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
    like it."
    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
    WHAT?"
    I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
    just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
    your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
    was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
    not for the things I buy you?"
    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

  2. #2
    moneypit
    Read that before. funny stuff. . . .

  3. #3
    Wavemaker
    LMAO! I'm still waiting for the Bump-BummmP-Bump on this one. - Wavemaker

  4. #4
    DeltaSigBoater
    That is some funny sh*t

  5. #5
    Wet Dream
    My girlfriend and I were having problems in the area of sex. We appearently had different ideas on how to spice it up. She bought me some Viagra, I bought her a treadmill.

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