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Thread: Jetboats? Fast? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

  1. #1
    poorboy
    The poorboy must say that when he first saw this forum that he just busted out laughing, fell out of his chair and spilled his beer. But after a short recovery period the poorboy regained his composure, and sat down to reply to some posts that he read here.
    Now the poorboy has to be honest and must admit that he was conceived in prison and has no idea who his daddy is, but that fact has never kept the poorboy from outrunning EVERY jetboat that he has ever came across on public waterways. In fact, in the world that the poorboy comes from there are only two types of people that own "supposedly fast" jetboats, and believe their own BS.
    The first is well....well...how can the poorboy say it without offending everyone considered PC..Hmmm...Well they are darker in color than most rednecks and have really large "soup coolers" (that’s large lips for all you west coast yahoos) In addition the poorboy could add "coon" or "jig" to the description but all you non-rednecks might interpret that as meaning a either a sweet furry little animal, or a shiny fishing lure. Regardless, the poorboy hopes that you get the point.
    The second would be really feminine guys attracted to manly figures like the poorboy and all his beer-drinking friends that run fast outboards.
    Now the poorboy wouldn't expect anything different from all you west coast jetboat fellows, as it is so painfully obvious, in the land that you grow up, that you obviously receive no true education on the way that things really work. Hell, with all the retarded, whacked out political issues, energy blackouts and other such pissing and moaning issues that the west has to deal with daily (that rest of the country has to cover for you guys), what else should be expected from the land of fruits and nuts.
    Now while the poorboy hasn't paid any attention to the jetboats at the drags in a very long time, he does remember that back in the day that he did, the fuel jets would run 150-160 mph in the quarter. The poorboy is sure that this gives all you jet fellows something to huddle around and pray to, but the poorboy must remind you that we in the south have this closely matched with our own outboard drag hydros (for 1/3 of the money, or less). For all the uninformed in the west there is a state in the south called Georgia, that contains a city called Augusta, and at this location one could see plenty of jetboats ET's getting spanked at each hosted event. Why in fact, the poorboy would venture to bet that if a good old redneck boy had himself an Allison Bassracer (yes, a bassboat for the non-believers that weighs 650lbs), equipped with a new 300 Drag Mercury outboard, that he could outrun the majority of the drag jets at most events, and all that would be encountered out in public cruising around with their pretty paint jobs. Hmmm....
    All the poorboy can honestly hope for, while he sits back drinking his cold beer, is that all you lost souls will truly come around and see the bigger picture, and give up on your twisted lifestyle, and stop believing all the nonsense that you have been taught by other misguided boaters.
    But in closing, what could the poorboy expect from people that honestly believe that "SUCKING & SQUIRTING" is better!
    Love, the poorboy
    PS: The poorboy just saw on the news that Houston based Reliant Energy (an energy supplier) has just filed a 330-million dollar lawsuit against the state of Kalifornia for non-payment of their energy bill. Now ain't that a bitch! The poorboy hopes that Texas doesn't turn off you Kalifornia guys’ lights. How would someone in Kalifornia work on their "sucker boat" in the dark, or polish those pretty paint jobs?

  2. #2
    jeff-in-ky
    Get a life.

  3. #3
    rivercrazy
    Ignore this post.
    Its a total waste of time & energy.
    This dude must be really board. Get a life and find another message board. You'll find the people on this board have class and respect for each other, regardless of their individual backgrounds or type of boats...

  4. #4
    superdave013
    Ya right, Being a hard core v-drive guy myself and having raced in the NJBA out here on the left cost i can say to poorboy. Now I know why you're so poor. You must not have much smarts. Your outboard might be faster than most of the (weak) jets but it will take you so much longer to get there that the jet guy will have already been to your house, ate your dinner and banged your ol lady (i know it's your sister too). Are you sure that when you made your last pass that something didn't fly out of your bait tank and hit you in the head?? Let the flames begin

  5. #5
    rivercrazy
    If a couple in Arkansas gets a divorce, are they still brother & sister? No offense to anyone from Arkansas.

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,871
    I'm just wondering what kind of guy keeps refering to himself in the 'third person'?
    Oh yeah , I remember. The one whose boat is parked on the trailer after round one.

  7. #7
    Hustler
    Do you think he even makes past qualifing

  8. #8
    BADAXE
    I think at last count, in the hot boat forum the popularity of jet boats wins. The number of posts for jet boats is over 5000 and outboards is under 250. Majority rules.
    The reason that the outboard geeks like Soreboy er... I mean Poorboy are over on the Jet Forum is the're lonely. Nobody will go over to the outboard forum and talk to them.
    Maybe if a few of the jetboaters would go over to the outboard forum every once in a while and start a post something like...Outboards Owners, Pussies or Not? that would keep them busy and out of jet forum.

  9. #9
    058
    Hey Poorboy, what tee-shirt did you wear to your father's 8th grade graduation? Outboards are the only way you guys can go fast, you have to buy your horsepower because you can't build it, speaking about buying, what are the prices of those new eggbeaters? 15K.....20K? hummmm? And thats before you get the boat to hang that $20K Weedwacker on. Go crawl back under your rock, the sun is starting to dry your scales.

  10. #10
    poorboy
    Soreboy...Brother & Sister....eggbeater....hmmm....Oh the poorboy gets it!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
    That proves it, the poorboy concedes, even "jetboat guys" can be funny.
    The poorboy loves a good laugh...but please tell the poorboy that's not the best that you have.....so come on with it!
    love,
    poorboy...friend to the confused "jetboat guy"
    [This message has been edited by poorboy (edited July 27, 2001).]

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