A Christmas poem for "Rattle Can Lou"

[Rattle Can Lou]

Billy, Oh Billy, So funny youv'e become.
How low you have stooped, to hang out with the scum.
I'm just a lowly car painter stuck here in the slum.
But Lord all I ask is to get Ol' Billy some godamn gum.
With breath like Billy's, the eagles never fly.
The dark clouds won't part as long as Billy's standing by.
People gather around to hear his worthless bullshit fly.
But most just fall down, as they begin to cry.
As the audience gets smaller, poor Billy begins to see.
He looks around the room, his audience lays horizontally.
He yells those famous words "Hey Chief"
But no one moves around, He's lost in comic darknes, a lonely place to be found.
As his audience slides out the door, he has a thought like no other.
He remembers about a guy he knew, who had a funny brother.
He dials his cell phone frantically, he can't remember the number.
Dave Sammons yells out across the room "I think I gotcha covered."
From nowhere comes a guy, so studly it was sickening.
He yells across the room, "Let's get this party humping"
The liquor starts to flow, just like Billy might be buying.
But by the looks of "tight ass", we knew that wasn't flying.
This guy was amazing, all the girls seemed to want him. He was funnier than hell, and the laughter just kept comin.
He threw them jokes out, one right after another one.
He finished his jokes and gave them all a break, because over in the corner stood a cool Karaoke machine, just waiting for him to overtake.
He has done some singing in his sordid and varied career. In fact they say when he blows Sinatra, you swear Ol Blue Eyes is standing right there.
As he belts out "Fly me to the Moon" the chicks all begin to swoon.
As you listen, it's heard across the floor, Ol' Billy's gone to his room.
The moral to this little diddy is sometimes you need to be nice.
Because someone, somewhere, might be taking all your ice. ie Bling Bling.
So if you see this funny fat guy and you have a tendency to laugh. Please be aware that you might hurt Billy's feelings, if you give a crap.
RCL
Buddy Hackett

[BILLY.B]

In fact they say when he blows Sinatra, you swear Ol Blue Eyes is standing right there..
RCL
Buddy Hackett And to think this was a family secret that Pat had to cover for so long. And now you've gone public. First start to recovery CHIEF!!.

[olbiezer]

WOW!!!!!. I don't even remember writing this. Must of been my alter ego. I would never accuse "Rattle Can Lou" of drinking on the job, much less think he could score a big breasted hooker .
so whats wrong with a big breasted hooker? they must have em even in boise........ now that that ya mention it i would pass on a big breasted hooker in boise also lol

[BIGCHRIS]

WOW!!!!!. I don't even remember writing this. Must of been my alter ego. I would never accuse "Rattle Can Lou" of drinking on the job, much less think he could score a big breasted hooker :rollside: :rollside: :rollside: .
Hey Billy,u know what they say about painters dont u.All painters are drunks,but all drunks are not painters :boxed: :idea:

[olbiezer]

"God I could sure use a cold beer and a big breasted hooker
as a english major i was wondering if this was a literary metafor........u know a large brested PAINTED woman that takes money for lieing on her back........and a drunken PAINTER that takes money, gets drunk and lies on his back. just wondering!!!!!

[Hud]

You guys are KILLIN ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got T.I.M.E's.= tears in my eyes!!............................................ ......C'mon! :hammerhea

[fltflyn]

classic. thanks for the laughs. merry christmas.

[Jetboatguru]

Billy, Oh Billy, So funny youv'e become.
How low you have stooped, to hang out with the scum.
I'm just a lowly car painter stuck here in the slum.
But Lord all I ask is to get Ol' Billy some godamn gum.
With breath like Billy's, the eagles never fly.
The dark clouds won't part as long as Billy's standing by.
People gather around to hear his worthless bullshit fly.
But most just fall down, as they begin to cry.
As the audience gets smaller, poor Billy begins to see.
He looks around the room, his audience lays horizontally.
He yells those famous words "Hey Chief"
But no one moves around, He's lost in comic darknes, a lonely place to be found.
As his audience slides out the door, he has a thought like no other.
He remembers about a guy he knew, who had a funny brother.
He dials his cell phone frantically, he can't remember the number.
Dave Sammons yells out across the room "I think I gotcha covered."
From nowhere comes a guy, so studly it was sickening.
He yells across the room, "Let's get this party humping"
The liquor starts to flow, just like Billy might be buying.
But by the looks of "tight ass", we knew that wasn't flying.
This guy was amazing, all the girls seemed to want him. He was funnier than hell, and the laughter just kept comin.
He threw them jokes out, one right after another one.
He finished his jokes and gave them all a break, because over in the corner stood a cool Karaoke machine, just waiting for him to overtake.
He has done some singing in his sordid and varied career. In fact they say when he blows Sinatra, you swear Ol Blue Eyes is standing right there.
As he belts out "Fly me to the Moon" the chicks all begin to swoon.
As you listen, it's heard across the floor, Ol' Billy's gone to his room.
The moral to this little diddy is sometimes you need to be nice.
Because someone, somewhere, might be taking all your ice. ie Bling Bling.
So if you see this funny fat guy and you have a tendency to laugh. Please be aware that you might hurt Billy's feelings, if you give a crap.
RCL
Buddy Hackett
Bad Iambic Pentameter!! :boxed:
Billy takes this one with a 1st round TKO.

[olbiezer]

he blows Sinatra
some leg breaker may be on his way to boise right now for that one!

[lindalou]

Tony, I know where your allegirnce lies. Don't bust my balls that hard. And if you don't mind would you please decipher WTF you said. I'm just a wannabe painter from Bosie. I don't understand all that Californee talkin.
Lokin Good Louie