ACtually, it is a little known fact that ***boat is latin, and the literal translation means groups of people who talk alot, but say nothing. ***boat first appeared in Egypt when jewish slaves used the hydraulic ports in the Pyramids to hold group conversations. It originally was used to organize their work, but was so effective that they were able to talk about other things, like "What's for Lunch" or "How to Poop at work". This network of useless conversations was extemely disruptive to their production. Then, an avid boater, Moses, held a regatta in the red sea and the slaves decided to ditch work for 40 years to attend this "***boat" function. Moses' brother, Frenchie, in an effort to show off his new fishing schooner drove way too fast causing a huge wave to engulf the Sand Bar where most had gathered. The slaves narrowly escaped this wave, but the slaves employers, who had just finally found the partying slaves, were not so lucky. This wave was so destructive that the Sand Bar was washed away....and the rest is history.
I heard the first boat wasn't a boat at all, but baby jesus basket when he floated down the nile... The design was splashed by the Roman Empire.