Not that this forum needs it, but how about a little humor, sorta political...
The Amish Farmer:
An Amish farmer walking through his field, notices a man drinking from his pond.
The Amishman shouts: "Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen."
Which means: "Don't drink the water, the cows have shit in it."
The man shouts back: "I'm a Muslim, I don't understand. Please speak in English."
The Amish farmer says: "Use two hands,.You'll get more."