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Thread: Can't Get Enough Chuck!

  1. #1
    Can't Get Enough Chuck!
    While playing the role of a Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris used live ammunition during all shoot outs. When the director explained that he can't do that, he replied, "Of course I can, I'm Chuck Norris," and roundhouse kicked him in the face.
    It is common knowledge that there are three sides to the force: The Light Side, The Dark Side, and Chuck Norris.
    Scientists used to believe that a diamond was the world's hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norrisi.
    God offered Chuck Norris the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for a +500 gain to roundhouse ability.
    Chuck Norris is the only male to give birth. His only child; Vin Diesel.
    Every time Chuck Norris does a roundhouse kick, an angel gets its wings.
    Chuck Norris can ejaculate through solid steel.
    The letters in Chuck Norris' name can be rearranged to spell "Doom" in twelve different languages, including Esperanto, but not French.
    Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
    Chuck Norris burned down an entire forest when he was experimenting with water.
    Chuck Norris is the only person ever capable of telling if an aircraft landed in soil by tasting it.
    Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Ever.
    Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.
    If Chuck Norris had a dollar and you had a dollar, Chuck would kick your ass and take your dollar.
    We once had a bachelor party for Chuck Norris. He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.
    Chuck Norris volunteers at retirement homes just so he can push old people in wheelchairs onto the freeway.

  2. #2
    Phat Matt
    Can't Get Enough Chuck!
    Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
    Now that's a definition of a bad ass.

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