Just a few of the many THOUSAND RULES....And how We Handled them>>>
1).All reservations must be payed in full at the time the reservation is made!... (I'll say, JetMechs Debit card was drawn upon before he hung up the friggen phone)!
2).Cancellations receved within 30 days prior to the scheduled arrival will NOT receive a refund!...(Unless your one very pissed off HammerDown).
3).Children under the age of 18 must be at there Campsite,Cabin, or Lodge by 11:00pm unless supervised by a parent!...(well Mr+Mrs Nova were toasted by 6:00 pm, so there kids had to supervise them).
4).Morring posts in the campground are free, and available to all Resort guests on a first come, first serve basis!..(thats nice, we burned them in the camp fire).
5).Boat trailers that are parked illegally will be moved to an overflow parking lot at the risk and expense of the owner!....(Yea OK...LOL just try it)
6).Vehicles are NOT permitted to park on the grass! ...(unless you stay at the Wild Cherry, and Wet Dream and Jet Mech are turfing up the grounds )!!!
7).Any vehicle not in compliance WILL be towed at the owners expense!...(I guess security was off that weekend...Pussies, like we would comply anyhow...lol).
8).Maximum of (2) vehicles permitted per campsite!...(read rule #7)
9).One Vehicle and one boat trailer is all thats allowed per campsite!...(Thats funny, we had 4 Boats and at times 4 tow vehicles...anyhow read rule #7).
10).Only DEAD and GROUNDED wood is permitted to be used for firewood!...(tell that to Nove Jr. that kid was ripping live trees out by there roots, not to mention our GAY trip into town for fire wood, nice GAY trip JetMech) dose your wife know about your GAY fire wood fetish?
11).Only alcoholic beverages in cans are permitted NO KEGS,PARTY BALLS,OR BOTTLES!...(guess that excludes the 5 cases of Corrona and 1 case of Mikes Hard Ice Tea, and one Bottle of Sambuca and Weed). Bling-Bling!!!
12).The speed limit around the grounds is 15 MPH!..(I belive Jet Mech had his truck at one time up to 55 MPH, and made his own road!) cool!
13).No chainsaws!...(well thats a good one, Nova Jr. would have wiped out the forest, and BURNED IT)!...I'm worred about that kid.
14).Campfires MUST be confined to the fire rings!...(good thing there wasent any rules about how high they could be, get the Gasoline)!!
15).Excessive drunkenness will not be tolerated and will be cause for immediate eviction!...(Do they know BASS COP? And I'd like to see that happen)
16).Quiet hours 11:00pm to 6:00am Violation of Quite hours can be cause for immediate eviction!...(They like this eviction thing, anyhow, read rule #15)
17).Towles are NOT supplyed with Cabins, HOWEVER we do include a nice Oven Mitt and a Pizza Wheel in each Cabin!...(Oh..OK, so while your standing there dripping wet, naked, you can remove the hot Pizza from the oven with your ****ing Oven Mit, and cut it up with the god dam Pizza Wheel)...thanks Brian for smooooothing some towels away from the Maid! Ya dont want to see a wet, naked JetMech standing there with a oven mitt in one hand and a pizza wheel in the other!
18). Please clean/organize your site before departing!...(so Rat, did ya put the RailRoad Ties back...or did ya steal them?)
19).Our restruant is open till 8:00 PM!...(but dont expect to eat if you arrive at 7:30!)
20). Enjoy your stay with us, we hope you'll visit us again!...(IT WILL BE OUR F##KING PLEASURE!!!)
[ September 15, 2003, 04:45 PM: Message edited by: HammerDown ]