Jackass Hall of Fame...

[Infomaniac]

beyondhelpin:
Heres one from my own files. I got my first boat when I was 18, the summer I graduated from high school. It was 16' of pure beauty which I towed behind my almost new Firebird Formula.(I paid for it all myself and damn proud of it. Think peacock!) Me and a buddy roll up to the lake I hop in the boat and he backs me in. Start her up and back off the trailer. Buddy parks the car as I am stowing gear. All the sudden in feel my feet getting wet. Being as sharp as I am I quickly realize that is not supposed to happen. I left the plug out! Upon futher observation I notice the large volume of water in the boat. Oh shit panic is starting to take over!!!!!! I holler at my friend to run and get the trailer and back it in. Pretty soon he runs back and tell me the car wont start. So I decide to take off and drain the boat by running across the lake. I am pointing towards shore so I cut the wheel and hammer the throttle. Bad move! With as much water was in the boat and wheel turned 90 degrees when I hit the throttle it ripped the the threaded end of the steering cable out of the turnbuckle. Again oh shit!!! Water running in boat car wont start and now no steering!!!! So I put the boat in gear give it a little gas and go back and hug the 135 to point the boat out to the middle of the lake. Staighten out the motor and hit the throttle. Jump back to the motor and steer by hand (after a long slow jump to plane) out across the lake to drain the boat. Jump out put the plug in and idled back to dock to fix the steering. Good to go!!! Pop the top on a cold one and go rip up some water!!! I have more idiot stories but that was my first. No more stories right now so I can protect the rights of the retarded! ME!!Man, am I glad you do not fix airplanes for a living.

[mbrown2]

beyondhelpin:
Heres one from my own files. I got my first boat when I was 18, the summer I graduated from high school. It was 16' of pure beauty which I towed behind my almost new Firebird Formula.(I paid for it all myself and damn proud of it. Think peacock!) Me and a buddy roll up to the lake I hop in the boat and he backs me in. Start her up and back off the trailer. Buddy parks the car as I am stowing gear. All the sudden in feel my feet getting wet. Being as sharp as I am I quickly realize that is not supposed to happen. I left the plug out! Upon futher observation I notice the large volume of water in the boat. Oh shit panic is starting to take over!!!!!! I holler at my friend to run and get the trailer and back it in. Pretty soon he runs back and tell me the car wont start. So I decide to take off and drain the boat by running across the lake. I am pointing towards shore so I cut the wheel and hammer the throttle. Bad move! With as much water was in the boat and wheel turned 90 degrees when I hit the throttle it ripped the the threaded end of the steering cable out of the turnbuckle. Again oh shit!!! Water running in boat car wont start and now no steering!!!! So I put the boat in gear give it a little gas and go back and hug the 135 to point the boat out to the middle of the lake. Staighten out the motor and hit the throttle. Jump back to the motor and steer by hand (after a long slow jump to plane) out across the lake to drain the boat. Jump out put the plug in and idled back to dock to fix the steering. Good to go!!! Pop the top on a cold one and go rip up some water!!! I have more idiot stories but that was my first. No more stories right now so I can protect the rights of the retarded! ME!!Being that you pulled that circus act from own files shows your humble, being that pulled it off without sinking is deserving of 5 starts...It must have looked great from the shore.

[Captain Kirk]

Man, those stories are great.
I was sittin with the wife watching a bunch of boats lauch July 4th a couple of years back when this small 14' fishing boat (Row boat) with a 10 Hp OB came to lanch.
One dude gets in the boat, sits in back by the OB and yells, OK, back up and slam on the brakes to the tow vehicle driver. (the guy also had a very large cooler, that I'm sure was full of beer and ice, sittin' on the floor by his feet....and it was heavy...I saw them put it in the boat) When the back of the boat hit the water, (very steep launch ramp) the front end went straight up and, ya, right over backwards! All the fishing tackle and other crap went a flyin', and the dude ended up in the drink.
Man, I'm still laughing! Luckily, the dude didn't get hurt.

[aharonr34]

Lake havasu...
this friend of mine thinks he is the master boater... well... we were doing good the first day and when we went to put the boat on the trailer. Looked at his truck tires and realized he had pizza cutters (stock skinny tires)
buddie, aka macguiver thought it was a good idea to bounce up and down on the bed of his truck while pulling the boat out of the water,
me being the only sober person there, (once again) told him i would pull boat out of water and him and drunk guy #2 would bounce up and down. NAH macguiver said #2 will get us out...
long story short #2 punched it (bad idea with people on the back) macguiver fell off landed on his back, the trailer rolled over him and he went to the hospuital with a broken back HAHA LMAO
leave it to the sober or... try to act cool and get JACKED!

[boatnam2]

i think i told this one before but it was a classic.were at lake isabella fishing when all the sudden these three black guys in a flatbottom big motor ot pipes decide to put on a ski show.this is twenty years ago so put a picture of it in your head what it would look like.so the driver drops the skier off on the shore he is a profesional for sure big afro and this red white and blue derby cap,on two skis standing at the edge of the water.driver flips the boat and the skier yells out real loud HIT IT SKI CAT!the driver mashes the throttle one little problem theres still about 25ft of slack in the rope.it was like a dissapering act one minut e he's there the next only a pair of skis and a hat.my dad and i laughed so hard we almost pissed our pants.

[beyondhelpin]

HIT IT SKI CAT! Now thats funny!!!!!

[Unchained]

I met this guy while boating several years ago and he told me a story about how he was driving down the road towing his jet boat when he decided it was time to look for a cassette tape. While digging through the tape case he of course took his eyes off the road and when he looked up there were a line of cars stopped in front of him. He hit the rear car and the force of the impact ripped the boat off the trailer and it landed in the box of the pickup truck he was driving and half up on the cab totalling the truck and the boat. He was kind of a drifty dude who should have stuck to indoor sports and away from boats.
The next time I seen him he had another jet boat that looked like a pretty nice piece. While boating the first day he shut off a valve that he thought was the water to the headers, well it was the water to the engine. It overheated and squeaked.

[Froggystyle]

Earlier this year, when going out to San Vincente to take the pictures for our Hot Boat spread, after cleaning the boat immaculately, waxing, polishing everything, vaccuuming etc... I get the boat on the lake a little early, and am sitting at the dock. Enter Fisherman Bob. He has a 14 ft. John boat that is worth less than my swimsteps. He barrels around and parks head to head on the docks in front of me. Unloads the pickup, gets his buddy into the boat, and while I am sitting there holding my boat decides to start his. Of course it won't start, so he is giving it gas, and tugging and tugging at that pull start when finally it lights off........ in gear. The boat lurches forward and in a desparate move to save my gelcoat I take one for the boat and get between them. No use. The aluminum-hulled fishing boat continued on it's chosen path and put a huge ding through my gel right on the bow of the boat, where the fishing boat came to rest.
I almost lost my mind, then the guy gave me a bad phone number and I have not been able to get a hold of him.
****er....

[Jet Junk]

A couple of weeks ago I was at the lake, sitting in the boat, waiting for my buddy to back my truck in so I could load up. This older guy leaves what I guess was his son-in-law in his newer looking Crownline (standard craft of choice for most high-rollers where I boat at-LOL), while he backs the trailer in. The younger guy pulls on just fine, they strap the bow down and the older guy gets in the truck and starts to pull out. This is when the back of the boat starts violently hopping up and down. The old guy stops about halfway up the ramp and asks "what happened". Younger guy realizes his mistake of not running the tilt up. He yells to the old guy "forgot to tilt it up, but it didn't hurt anything". Nothing but the skeg on the drive and bent one of the prop blades straight back. The old man gets out to look for himself. I thought that guy was gonna get his ass beat right there on the ramp.

[Jet Junk]

One more. This friend of mine told me about his uncle PWC that he borrowed last year. This guy is completely inept. He takes it out to the lake and puts it in. It won't start-dead battery. Some how he is bright enough to jump it. Puts it in and starts doing whatever it is you do on those things, I guess go irritate boaters, When he notices its lack of performance and how low it sits in the water. It the dies and won't start back. He gets a tow back to the first dock in the marina, a private dock. Ties it up to the dock and leaves. He takes the trailer back to his uncle and tells him his p.o.s. is still at the lake. His uncle recovers it without his help and discovers the plug was never put in it.