Thursday Funnies

[dimarcobros]

THINGS I HATE ABOUT EVERYONE.
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the frick is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the frick would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the frickin floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say "life is short". What the frick?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever frickin does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
DMB

[dimarcobros]

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to
each other outside the operating room.
The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"
The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out
and I'm a little nervous."
The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had
that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you
wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze."
The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"
The first kid says, "A Circumcision."
And the second kid says, "Whoa, Good luck buddy, I had that done
when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year."
DMB

[watergirl]

dimarcobros:
THINGS I HATE ABOUT EVERYONE.
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the frick is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the frick would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the frickin floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say "life is short". What the frick?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever frickin does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
DMB That was a knee slapper. Too funny.

[JetBoatRich]

I hate some of the same things

[JetBoatRich]

How about Blondes with Thongs
[img]http://www.***boat.com/image_center/data/520/78mime001.jpg[/img]