Ran out of TP and was saved by a Plan B shirt

[MAXIMUS]

whats up fags..........thought i would stop in and say...fock off............have a good day................
Totally off the subject... must be a hanson desiple!

[460 jus getn it]

Totally off the subject... must be a hanson desiple!
NOPE, just figured a grown man talking about his ass would attract all of you sick ****s, and it did...................carry on.........................fags

[Jetboatguru]

Minimus,
I am sorry we are not all built like and look like a Klingon! It balances out the world. You have the morphadites(you) and you have the normal people (everyone else.) http://tborgax.homepage.dk/files/thu...hn_klingon.jpg

[dmontzsta]

LOL, this thread is one of the greats.

[Jetboatguru]

I thought I would help the normal people out and give them some insight to the Minimus Klingon language so we can all better understand our cave dwelling friend.
Klingon has been developed with a phonology that, while based on human natural languages, is intended to sound alien. The effect is mainly achieved by the use of a number of retroflex and uvular consonants in the language's inventory. Although natural languages use a number of different airstream mechanisms besides the common pulmonic egressive, these other mechanisms are not used in Klingon. This is perhaps because these sounds are a lot more difficult to learn to produce if one's language does not use them. Klingon has twenty-one or twenty-two consonants, but only five cardinal vowels. Klingon is normally written in a variant of the Latin alphabet (see below). In this orthography, upper and lower case letters are not interchangeable (uppercase letters mostly represent sounds different to those expected by English speakers). In the discussion below, standard Klingon orthography appears in <angle brackets>, and the phonemic transcription in the International Phonetic Alphabet is written between /slashes/.
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Consonants
The inventory of consonants in Klingon is spread over a number of places of articulation. In spite of this, the inventory has many gaps: Klingon has no velar plosives, and only one sibilant.
Labials


— /pʰ/ — aspirated voiceless bilabial plosive (as English pan, but accompanied by puff of air not only in word initial positions, but in all positions)
[b] — /b/ — voiced bilabial plosive (as English ban)
<m> — /m/ — bilabial nasal (as English man)
<v> — /v/ — voiced labiodental fricative (as English van)
Coronals
<t> — /tʰ/ — aspirated voiceless alveolar plosive (as English tan, but accompanied by puff of air not only in word initial positions, but in all positions)
<D> — /ɖ/ — voiced retroflex plosive (as Swedish nord)
<D> — /ɳ/ — retroflex nasal, an allophone of the above consonant (as Swedish Vänern)
<n> — /n/ — alveolar nasal (as English nan)
<r> — /r/ — alveolar trill (trilled as in Spanish rojo)
<S> — /Ê‚/ — voiceless retroflex fricative (as Mandarin ShÃ*nghÇŽi)
<l> — /l/ — alveolar lateral approximant (as English lung, never velarized as English gull)
Dorsals
<q> — /qʰ/ — aspirated voiceless uvular plosive (as Arabic Qur'an, but aspirated)
<ng> — /ŋ/ — velar nasal (as English ring)
<H> — /x/ — voiceless velar fricative (as Scots loch)
<gh> — /ɣ/ — voiced velar fricative (as Arabic Baghdad)
<y> — /j/ — palatal approximant (as English yes)
<w> — /w/ — labial-velar approximant (as English wash)
Glottal
<'> — /ʔ/ — glottal stop (as between the English words blue arm, with distinct enunciation)
Affricates
<ch> — /ʧ/ — voiceless postalveolar affricate (as English church)
<j> — /ʤ/ — voiced postalveolar affricate (as English judge)
<tlh> — /t͡ɬ/ — voiceless alveolar lateral affricate (as Nahuatl Nahuatl)
<Q> — /q͡χ/ — voiceless uvular affricate (occurs in Nez Percé, Wolof and Kabardian)
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Vowels
In contrast to consonants, Klingon's inventory of vowels is very simple. The two front vowels, <e> and [I], represent sounds that are found in English but are more open and lax than a typical English speaker might assume when reading Klingon text written in the latin alphabet, causing the consonants of a word to be more prominent. This, and the lack of diphthongs, enhances the sense that Klingon is a clipped and harsh-sounding language.
Vowels
<a> — /ɑ/ — open back unrounded vowel (in English spa)
<e> — /ɛ/ — open-mid front unrounded vowel (in English bed)
[I] — /ɪ/ — near-close near-front unrounded vowel (in English bit)
<o> — /o/ — close-mid back rounded vowel (in French oiseaux)
<u> — /u/ — close back rounded vowel (in Spanish cura)
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Vowel Stress
In verbs, the stressed syllable is usually the verb itself, as opposed to a prefix or any suffixes except when a suffix ending with ' is separated from the verb by at least one other suffix, in which case the suffix ending in ' is also stressed. In addition, stress may shift to a suffix which is meant to be emphasized.
In nouns, the final syllable of the stem (the noun itself, excluding any affixes) is stressed. If any syllables ending in ' are present, the stress shifts to those syllables.
The stress in other words seems to be variable, but this is not a serious issue because most of these words are only one syllable in length. Still, there are some words which should fall under the rules above, but do not, although using the standard rules would still be acceptable.
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Syllabification
Klingon syllable structure is extremely strict: a syllable must start with a consonant (including the glottal stop) followed by one vowel. In prefixes and other more rare syllables, this is enough. More commonly, this consonant-vowel pair is followed by one consonant or one of three biconsonantal codas: /-w' -y' -rgh/. Thus, ta "record", tar "poison" and targh "targ" (a type of animal) are all legal syllable forms, but *tarD and *ar are not. Despite this, there is one suffix that takes the shape vowel+consonant: the endearment suffix -oy.
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Grammar
Klingon is an agglutinative language, using mainly affixes in order to alter the function or meaning of words. Some nouns have inherently plural forms: jengva' "plate" vs. ngop "plates", for instance.
Klingon nouns take suffixes to indicate grammatical number, gender, two levels of deixis, possession and syntactic function. In all, 29 noun suffixes from five classes may be employed: jupoypu'na'wI'vaD "for my beloved true friends". Speakers are limited to no more than one suffix from each class to be added to a word, and the classes have a specific order of appearance.
Gender in Klingon does not indicate sex, as in English, or have an arbitrary assignment as in Danish or many other languages. It indicates whether a noun is a body part, a being capable of using language, or neither of these.
Verbs in Klingon are even more complex, taking a prefix indicating the number and person of the subject and object, plus suffixes from nine ordered classes, plus a special suffix class called rovers. Each of the four known rovers has its own unique rule controlling its position among the suffixes in the verb. Verbs are marked for aspect, certainty, predisposition and volition, dynamic, causative, mode, negation, and honorific, and the Klingon verb has two moods: indicative and imperative.
The most common word order in Klingon is Object Verb Subject, and in some cases the word order is the exact reverse of word order in English:
DaH mojaq.mey.vam DI.vuS.nIS.be' 'e' vI.Har
now-ADV suffix. PL.DEM 1pl-3pl.limit.need.not that 1sg-3sg.believe
"I believe that we do not need to limit these suffixes now"
Klingons apparently dislike redundancy such that, for example, since the DI prefix in the previous example indicates that the direct object mojaq is plural, a Klingon speaker will quite typically omit the plural suffix mey and say:
DaH mojaqvam DI.vuS.nIS.be' 'e' vI.Har
Unlike most artificial auxiliary languages, which seek to either emulate elements of several evolved human languages in order to be easier to learn, or to be more regular with fewer exceptions than is the case in evolved existing languages, the Klingon language tries to break away from the most common features of other languages and embraces the exceptions to its own rules.
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Writing systems
The official Klingon writing system is the Latin alphabet as used above, but on the television series, the Klingons use their own alien writing system. In The Klingon Dictionary this alphabet is named as pIqaD, but no information is given about it. When Klingon symbols are used in Star Trek productions they are merely decorative graphic elements, designed to emulate real writing and create an appropriate atmosphere.
The Astra Image Corporation designed the symbols (currently used to "write" Klingon) for Star Trek: The Motion Picture, although these symbols are often incorrectly attributed to Michael Okuda. They based the letters on the Klingon battlecruiser hull markings (three letters) first created by Matt Jeffries, and on Tibetan writing because the script had sharp letter forms — used as a testament to the Klingons' love for knives and blades.
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KLI pIqaD
The KLI piqaD
KLI piqaD text sampleAlthough the Latin alphabet is used officially to write Klingon, the speaking community also makes use of an artificial script designed to emulate Klingon writing on the show. This alphabet was created by an anonymous source at Paramount, who based their alphabet on letters seen in the show. This "source" sent in their alphabet to KLI (Klingon Language Institute) and the KLI uploaded it onto their website as the Klingons' way of writing their language. This alphabet has gained some acceptance within the speaker and fan community although many Klingonists still prefer the Latin alphabet.
The alphabet is quite simple: It contains twenty-six letters with a one-to-one grapheme-phoneme correspondance: that is, one letter represents one sound and one sound is written with one letter. There are also ten numerals in the set. It is written from left to right, top to bottom like English. There is no actual punctuation, however those that use punctuation with the alphabet, use Skybox punctuation symbols (see below).
In September 1997, Michael Everson made a proposal for encoding this in Unicode. The Unicode Technical Committee rejected the Klingon proposal in May 2001 on the grounds that research showed almost no use of the script for communication, and the vast majority of the people who did use Klingon employed the Latin alphabet by preference. Everson created a mapping of pIqaD into the Private Use Area of Unicode, which he listed in the ConScript Unicode Registry (U+F8D0 to U+F8FF see here and here). Since then several fonts using that encoding have appeared, and software for typing in pIqaD has become available. As a result, blogs in pIqaD have begun to appear, raising the possibility of reapplying for inclusion in Unicode when there is a sufficient corpus. Existing text in Romanization can easily be converted to pIqaD also.
Michael Okuda, the long standing Star Trek scenic arts designer, and other Paramount staff have repudiated the mapping.
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Skybox pIqaD
The Klingon pIqaD according to Skybox
A sample of written KlingonThe KLI pIqaD isn't the only mapping of Klingon letters. The Astra Image letters were taken and used in the Paramount-endorsed Bitstream font pack. They were used to make a font with ten letters of the English alphabet: "e" to "n" being represented by the ten different klingon letters. This font itself has been used by the Star trek production team when creating Klingon graphics, however it is still used only as random gibberish on the shows.
The trading card company Skybox used this font, when they created the Klingon language cards in their Star Trek: The Next Generation trading card collection. The Klingon cards themselves detail aspects of Klingon culture, and feature pIqaD text, and a transliteration and translation provided by Marc Okrand. Some of these cards, notably S7, S8 and card S9 feature pIqaD, which corresponds to the Latin transcription. Other known cards include s19 and s20 (which contain belittling references to Blockbuster, probably an allusion to Blockbuster Video) the season seven card selection s37, s38 and s39 (which featured no actual tlhingan Hol, but only English and on card S39 Latin, written in the Skybox alphabet), and finally, the Checklist cards for each seasons' set of cards had the word cards written in Klingon on them when listing the above mentioned cards.
The script is written in horizontal lines running from left to right, top to bottom, just like English. Klingon can be written with spaces between words (a word being defined as any noun, verb or leftover, plus any prefixes and suffixes attached to it) and punctuation. When this is the case, four punctuation marks are used:
An "up-turned triangle" with a function similar to a comma, semi-colon or colon.
A "down-turned" triangle with a function similar to a full stop, question mark or exclamation mark.
A mark similar in appearance to an hyphen (unknown function).
A mark similar to an apostrophe (function unknown).
The triangular punctuation marks have been accepted into the common usage of the KLI pIqaD (see above).
Klingon can also be written with no spaces or punctuation at all; this form is more common on the TV shows. As in English, Klingon text can be left-justified, center-justified, or right-justified, and written in vertical columns on banners.
Due to its nature, the "Skybox" Alphabet is ill-suited to writing Klingon, in that ambiguity in the alphabet is apparent, so different words are spelled the same way: these are homographs. The heartiest commendations and the gravest insults could be written identically, though it should be noted that context would go a long way to disambiguating homographs.
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Mandel script
The Klinzhai alphabetA third script, known as the Klinzhai or Mandel script, was included in The U.S.S. Enterprise Officer's Manual (1980). It holds more closely to the D7 battlecruiser hull markings and is also loosely based upon the conceptual art of Matt Jeffries, TOS set designer.
Its letters map to various letters and digraphs of English, but they have no relation to Marc Okrand's Klingon language. Like the other two alphabets, it is probably written in the same direction as English.
Some fans have suggested this alphabet could be used to write Klingonaase in its native form.
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Cultural Influences
A design principle of the Klingon language is the great degree of lexical-cultural correlation in the vocabulary. For example, there are several words meaning "to fight" or "to clash against", each having a different degree of intensity. There are a plethora of words relating to warfare and weaponry and also a great variety of curses. This helps lend a particular character to the language.
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Trivia
In 1999, The Onion published a satirical article claiming that the number of Klingon speakers exceeded the number of Navajo speakers. [3]
The sixth episode of the tenth season of Frasier, "Star-Mitzvah", which first aired November 5, 2002, had Frasier reading a short blessing in Klingon at his son's Bar Mitzvah having been tricked into believing it was Hebrew. (There are more details at References to Star Trek)
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See also
Alien language
Klingonaase, an earlier, non-canonical Klingon language put forth by author John M. Ford.
References to Star Trek, which lists some non-Star Trek television series which feature the Klingon language.
Klingon Proverbs (Wikiquote).
tlh:tlhIngan Hol
Stovokor, a heavy metal band who sing exclusively in Klingon
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External links
Klingon language edition of WikipediaWikibooks has more about this subject:
KlingonKlingon Language Institute
Klingon as linguistic capital — a Bachelor's Thesis in Sociology
Klingonska Akademien
Is Klingon an Ohlonean language? A comparison of Mutsun and Klingon
Omniglot: Klingon Alphabet
Deutsche-Welle's Klingon Language Service
BBC article on Deutsche-Welle's Klingon Language Service
information on the Skybox Trading cards, with Klingon writing
Klingon Wikipedia
Google in Klingon
Klingon Rock
Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Klingon_language"

[rrrr]

Hmmm this could be a problem... I would send you another one but I think... let me see... yep I am out of kids small sizes... I do apologize, I will order more & send you a clean one!
lol -- just put it back on him and send him back out in a ss boat-- not only will he get it "washed " but we will get to watch him resoil himself
LMFAO!!!!! Are midget turds the same size as regular people's???? :crossx: :crossx:

[Jetboatguru]

They will both fit in your mouth so you should be ok!

[LUVNLIFE]

Wow, Guru is a closet Treky :idea:

[MAXIMUS]

LMAO... at first I thought Tony lost it... Then I realized... he's spun! What treky web site did that shit come from??? I always thought kling ons were those little bitches that followed you around at the races chanting tony tony tony... Donald is that right?

[You Te]

:sleeping: :sleeping: :sleeping: