That is too cute... Just makes you want kids.
Things I've learned from my Children (honest & no kidding):
> 1. A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.
> house 4
> inches deep.
> 2. If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
> blades, they can ignite.
> 3. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
> restaurant.
> 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
> enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a
> Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint
> can, to
> spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
> 5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
> using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few
> times
> before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
> 6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit
> by
> a ceiling fan.
> 7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already
> too l
> late.
> 8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
> 9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
> 36-year
> old man says they can only do it in the movies.
> 10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year-old.
> 11. PlayDough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
> 12. Super glue is forever
> 13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't
> walk on water.
> 14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
> 15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials
> show they do.
> 16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
> 17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
> 18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
> 19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not
> like
> ovens.
> 20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
> 21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms
> dizzy.
> 22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
> 23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
> 24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful. First grade...true story:
> One day
> the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little
> Pigs
> to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first
> pig was
> trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She
> read,
> "...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of
> straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw
> to
> build my house?'" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And
> what
> do you think that man said?" One little boy raised his hand and
> said, "I
> think he said... 'Holy shit! A talking pig!'" The teacher was
> unable to
> teach for the next 10 MINUTES.
> -------------
> Grandchildren are the reward that you get for not killing your children.
That is too cute... Just makes you want kids.
Cant wait to try the Brake fluid and Clorox mixture! eek!
mmered8299:
Cant wait to try the Brake fluid and Clorox mixture! eek! Just don't breathe the fumes.
rivercutie:
That is too cute... Just makes you want kids. You really think so? It is a time consuming thing that test's you every step of the way.I have 3 girl's that think they are the " SHIT."
I HAVE COME UP WITH ONE THING,"WHY ARE WOMEN SO COMPLICATED"?........( . )( . )....... wink
So true, and we only have 1 six year old. And she is a girl and thinks she is the shit too. Good humor.
Very funny, I think we've seen a few of these tried by my three. We've got a boy and two girls. They're good kids, but they can sure try your patience.
Sometimes all you can do is laugh.
[ February 05, 2003, 07:34 PM: Message edited by: Mohavekid ]
That is to funny. The part with the Batman underware and Superman cape is something I have joked about for a while.
THE ( jawdrop SUREAL?) PART IS I HAVE LIVED IT I AM A SINGLE FULL TIME DAD OF A GREAT 11 YR OLD I LAUGH KNOW BUT AT THE TIME I WANTED TO THROW HIM UP TO SEE HOW FAR THE FAN COULD THROW HIM
I have three girls 8 10 , and today 14 years old, love the heck out of them but the part that gets me is them thinking they are the S**t, where in the world do they get that from. i don't act like i am the S**T nor do i think i am, i know the wife doesn't think shes the S**t, although i do think she is, anyway, they make comments that i know if i had done the same thing at their age i was beaten and told what was right. Why do kids seem to be far more smartass these days....then i have ever been.
now that list is soooo true, the clorox and brake fluid even i have to try, hey some kids will never grow up. Mike VG