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View Full Version : Men versus women!!!



73beast
07-22-2004, 02:31 PM
Don't know if this has been posted here before .
I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their hearts. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, but she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'll just get them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said let's get a pair for each outfit.
We went on to the jewelry dept where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all, dear. Let's go to the cashier".
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!"
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

repo man
07-22-2004, 03:07 PM
right on bro if you wanted to pay for sex you would have gotten a hooker not a wife.on the other hand you should never deprive her either . just like if she doesn't perform in the bedroom, you will find someone that will. if you take her for granted she will find someone that wont.never the less a good story with a happy ending .:D

cdog
07-22-2004, 03:16 PM
I told my while we were dating" take away the boobs and the tang and your just like one of my buddies. I don't buy my buddies expensive stuff". :D

HighRoller
07-22-2004, 10:18 PM
It's about men and women using each other to get what they want.
Men use love to get sex.
Women use sex to get love.
End of story.

DaveA
07-22-2004, 10:59 PM
Originally posted by HighRoller
It's about men and women using each other to get what they want.
Men use love to get sex.
Women use sex to get love.
End of story.
This is all so complicated.
I think I'll just go wax the boat.

HighRoller
07-22-2004, 11:20 PM
Wax on...
Whacks off!

HighRoller
07-22-2004, 11:28 PM
How appropriate this thread is..... I'm currently in the doghouse, but I don't even know why! It was so much simpler when I was single and living in Laughlin!!

jerry billet
07-23-2004, 06:40 AM
Its not so bad being in the dog house, as long as you get your tail outside. Thats an old one.
Sometimes being in the dog house is ok. Lets me go to the garage and have some peace and quiet.

Wally_Gator
07-23-2004, 07:30 AM
Originally posted by HighRoller
Wax on...
Whacks off!
LMAO....