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God
08-02-2004, 11:25 AM
I will be answering questions on fifty thousand forums for the rest of the day. All is not as it seems, and it is time you knew.

mirvin
08-02-2004, 11:26 AM
THanks TOM BROWN!!!! I knew you would come....:D
mirvin

Ziggy
08-02-2004, 11:26 AM
Where's that Million $'s thats owed me for the thing-a-ma-jig???:D

MRS FLYIN VEE
08-02-2004, 11:26 AM
Do you have 2 screen names.. and did you know you can be booted for doing so.. :p :p

topless
08-02-2004, 11:27 AM
Is my ex hubby really going to quit his job to avoid child support............again?

God
08-02-2004, 11:29 AM
I am not all knowing in the petty aspects of human behavior, as you have been taught. I do have a human persona I will abandon if it pleases the administrators. I only seek to help the afflicted and teach the unteachable.

Debbolas
08-02-2004, 11:30 AM
Can you answer my prop question?;)

SHAKE-YO-AZZ
08-02-2004, 11:33 AM
Originally posted by God
I am not all knowing in the petty aspects of human behavior, as you have been taught. I do have a human persona I will abandon if it pleases the administrators. I only seek to help the afflicted and teach the unteachable.
I don't want to be next to you when the lightning hits you :eek:

God
08-02-2004, 11:33 AM
It is exausting to answer every question by mankind. I have empowered experts in every field to aid in the advice that mankind seeks.
You may find what you sek here.
http://www.mercurymarine.com/propping_faqs

God
08-02-2004, 11:34 AM
I do not aim lightning. It is merely a night light for late golfers. I was trying to be nice.

Debbolas
08-02-2004, 11:35 AM
Originally posted by God
It is exausting to answer every question by mankind. I have empowered experts in every field to aid in the advice that mankind seeks.
You may find what you sek here.
http://www.mercurymarine.com/propping_faqs
ThankGod!;)

FMluvswater
08-02-2004, 11:35 AM
Well can you do something about the weather patterns at least for summertime? Rain at night time only. Please. Thanks :)

Debbolas
08-02-2004, 11:37 AM
Can you tell us exactly how chloroplasts work?
(I know they convert sun into energy, but exactly how?);)

God
08-02-2004, 11:38 AM
Think of the Earth as a perpetual energy machine. Weather, the human thaetan and natural metamorphosis is the catalyst that supplies energy for the machine. If I controlled weather the machine would fail.

MudPumper
08-02-2004, 11:38 AM
Is it true you are black and a woman?????:eek:

MRS FLYIN VEE
08-02-2004, 11:39 AM
Originally posted by God
Think of the Earth as a perpetual energy machine. Weather, the human thaetan and natural metamorphosis is the catalyst that supplies energy for the machine. If I controlled weather the machine would fail.
so is this were mother nature takes over .. kind of like marriage..
when the male can not do it correctly.. follow up with the female.. :p

God
08-02-2004, 11:40 AM
Chloropasts are man's way to understand his environment and justify his existence. The sun is merely a battery for the energy machine that you are a small part of. It is beyond your capacity to understand beyond that.

God
08-02-2004, 11:41 AM
Contrary to popular culture, I am (in your terms) Mediterranian and male.

Kim Hanson
08-02-2004, 11:42 AM
Please God, I have sinned.....I talk all this shit to the V-Drive guys and I can't stop telling them how slow they are :D Need help bad Kimmy :D ;)

MRS FLYIN VEE
08-02-2004, 11:44 AM
Originally posted by Kim Hanson
Please God, I have sinned.....I talk all this shit to the V-Drive guys and I can't stop telling them how slow they are :D Need help bad Kimmy :D ;)
what's a V-drive.. LOL!!:D :D

MudPumper
08-02-2004, 11:45 AM
What's the deal with all the Catholic Priests molesting little boys????

God
08-02-2004, 11:45 AM
Kimmy, V-drives have advantages just as other design types do. It is a matter of preference. I think you should all buy Hobie Cat's and quit whining. But, no one ever listens to me?

Kim Hanson
08-02-2004, 11:45 AM
Originally posted by MRS FLYIN VEE
what's a V-drive.. LOL!!:D :D
You know v-drive it, u-drive it :D ......( . )( . ).......;)

Kim Hanson
08-02-2004, 11:47 AM
Originally posted by God
Kimmy, V-drives have advantages just as other design types do. It is a matter of preference. I think you should all buy Hobie Cat's and quit whining. But, no one ever listens to me?
I feel for ya, nobody listened to me either :D What is a Hobie Cat ?..........( . )( . ).......:confused:

God
08-02-2004, 11:47 AM
Good question Mdplumper. Organized religion is the tool of man...not I. It was born in the need to maintain a tribal unity among the believers. It has become a business for the sake of business. I do not recieve proceeds therefore, I do not condone it.

RandyH
08-02-2004, 11:49 AM
Can you make my wife two full cup sizes bigger?? Thanks God.
Randy

God
08-02-2004, 11:51 AM
Sorry. I am an ass man.

FMluvswater
08-02-2004, 11:51 AM
Originally posted by God
I will be answering questions on fifty thousand forums for the rest of the day. All is not as it seems, and it is time you knew.
How do you feel about the people who don't even believe in you?

Kim Hanson
08-02-2004, 11:51 AM
Originally posted by RandyH
Can you make my wife two full cup sizes bigger?? Thanks God.
Randy .........( . )( . ).........:D :D :cool: Let me know if it works ;)

Hallett19
08-02-2004, 11:53 AM
Originally posted by God
I only seek to help the afflicted and teach the unteachable.
Like how to hit a chick's g spot ??? :cool:

MRS FLYIN VEE
08-02-2004, 11:54 AM
Originally posted by Hallett19
Like how to hit a chick's g spot ??? :cool:
:eek: you have problems.. LOL!! :D :D

Kim Hanson
08-02-2004, 11:56 AM
Originally posted by Hallett19
Like how to hit a chick's g spot ??? :cool:
He wouldn't even know that one...........( . )( . ).......Probly tell you its in the C spot! :D

God
08-02-2004, 11:56 AM
Man invented spelling. I am not much of a "follower" so you will have to deal with my command of the language...such as it is.
It is not necessary to believe in me. If you are a good person your "life force" or energy will be strong. The stronger your energy the further you move on after your demise. The lower your energy the less use you are to me. Punishment is nothingness or what you call death. Evil people exibit very little life force which is exibited in the eyes. Evil people have dark eyes.

HCS
08-02-2004, 11:56 AM
God.
You talk about yourself an awful lot. You sound more like the Devil.

Jrocket
08-02-2004, 11:56 AM
God,
Check your PM's.:D

Kim Hanson
08-02-2004, 11:58 AM
Originally posted by God
Man invented spelling. I am not much of a "follower" so you will have to deal with my command of the language...such as it is.
It is not necessary to believe in me. If you are a good person your "life force" or energy will be strong. The stronger your energy the further you move on after your demise. The lower your energy the less use you are to me. Punishment is nothingness or whay you call death. Evilpeople exibit very little life force which is exibited in the eyes. Evil people have dark eyes.
Good to know, I have blue eyes....I have been saved :D ........( . )( . )......:cool:

Hallett19
08-02-2004, 11:59 AM
I asked that question for everyone else Mrs FV, not me!!! :wink: I'm good, in fact God mailed me a map of the womans virgina so I can navigate that thing like Magellan. I'm still at the same adress God, I might need some more info soon on my liver and the true effect of alcohol on it. Thanks again G !!

FMluvswater
08-02-2004, 12:00 PM
Originally posted by God
Man invented spelling. I am not much of a "follower" so you will have to deal with my command of the language...such as it is.
It is not necessary to believe in me. If you are a good person your "life force" or energy will be strong. The stronger your energy the further you move on after your demise. The lower your energy the less use you are to me. Punishment is nothingness or what you call death. Evil people exibit very little life force which is exibited in the eyes. Evil people have dark eyes.
Then I must be very evil. My eyes are dark brown. :eek:

MRS FLYIN VEE
08-02-2004, 12:01 PM
Originally posted by Hallett19
I asked that question for everyone else Mrs FV, not me!!! :wink: I'm good, in fact God mailed me a map of the womans virgina so I can navigate that thing like Magellan. I'm still at the same adress God, I might need some more info soon on my liver and the true effect of alcohol on it.
LMAO!! :D :D

MagicMtnDan
08-02-2004, 12:04 PM
I like how your posts show you as a "Junior Member."

God
08-02-2004, 12:04 PM
Everything kills you because you must die. Enjoy what time you have and enjoy the berries of life.
The darkness in eyes does not mean "brown eyes." If you look into the face of evil you will notice a dark lifelessness to their eyes. Beware.

HCS
08-02-2004, 12:05 PM
God must have went to Hell. He's gone.:eek:

HCS
08-02-2004, 12:06 PM
Originally posted by God
Everything kills you because you must die. Enjoy what time you have and enjoy the berries of life.
The darkness in eyes does not mean "brown eyes." If you look into the face of evil you will notice a dark lifelessness to their eyes. Beware.
Are you also the Easter Bunny?:p

God
08-02-2004, 12:09 PM
I put Hugh Hefner in charge of bunnies but have not heard back from him.

Kim Hanson
08-02-2004, 12:10 PM
Originally posted by God
Everything kills you because you must die. Enjoy what time you have and enjoy the berries of life.
The darkness in eyes does not mean "brown eyes." If you look into the face of evil you will notice a dark lifelessness to their eyes. Beware.
You sure thats not the drunk look, man I look lifeless after a good one............( . )( . ).........:D

79miller
08-02-2004, 12:10 PM
My wife just called and wanted me to tell you to stop answering questions for her....

Kim Hanson
08-02-2004, 12:11 PM
Of to the Lake ...so are going to be my co-pilot ? I need you there today bad....Speed Run again..same as yesterday :D ........( . )( . ).......;)

leibniz
08-02-2004, 12:15 PM
If you are really God, then why are you only a Junior Member ??

FMluvswater
08-02-2004, 12:15 PM
Originally posted by God
Everything kills you because you must die. Enjoy what time you have and enjoy the berries of life.
The darkness in eyes does not mean "brown eyes." If you look into the face of evil you will notice a dark lifelessness to their eyes. Beware.
Good to know. Thanks for the clarification.

lucky
08-02-2004, 12:15 PM
two questions
when moses parted the sea - was he driving ut- boat or guru's
when jesus walked on water - - how "wet ' WHERE HIS HEELS ?
OK ONE MORE AND I WILL GO BACK TO SENDING DONATIONS ...
ISSSSSS TAMMY FAY REALLY A MAN ? :D

God
08-02-2004, 12:15 PM
I am too busy picking academy award winners, emmy winners, and sports competition winners to ride in your boat. I made a mistake with Halle Berry. I said "nice tits" and it was construed by the academy as "must win." As I said, they do not listen.

God
08-02-2004, 12:18 PM
Lucky ~ Tammy Faye is an angel sent to collect all the make-up from the women. She never returned. Please tell her I want my robe back.
Moses did not part the sea. That was his wake.
Jesus did not walk on water. He was afraid of sharks and ran really fast.

topless
08-02-2004, 12:22 PM
God, What other forums are you answering questions on? And are you going to become a post w h o r e?

God
08-02-2004, 12:27 PM
I invented whores and am very proud of them. Man invented shame and judgement. With each gift I bestow upon man, he finds a way to punish himself and deny himself the gift.

ROZ
08-02-2004, 12:44 PM
Originally posted by God
Chloropasts are man's way to understand his environment and justify his existence. I thought the answer was Cable TV.....
Besides, comprehending photosynthesis is easy...It what's on the inside(inside the chloroplast: stroma, granum,blah, blah ) that counts... Maybe that's what you mean..... ;) :D

Dave C
08-02-2004, 12:52 PM
how do you know god exists??....
because of the existence of fake breasts......:D :D

God
08-02-2004, 12:58 PM
Man cannot control his own dependancy on fossil fuels. The sun is a perpetual, natural, clean energy source. Do not fool yourself into thinking you understand it's power by making up terms and names of gasses that exist within it. Man needs to focus on things he can control. Crime, economy and corrupted services are within your means of control. I highly recommend you leave the sun to me and concentrate on clothes that last longer than a year.

Dave C
08-02-2004, 01:03 PM
wow... jehovah is getting political?....
I would not suggest that with this group.
But you already know that;)

God
08-02-2004, 01:07 PM
Poltics is a control device created by corrupt men. It would be beneath me to pick a side in what will inevitably be a bad person with designs on more power. When man can deal with his self created energy problems I will be happy to consult him on mine. I have time to wait.

79miller
08-02-2004, 01:10 PM
Why am I picturing this guy answering our questions?!?!
http://www.***boat.com/image_center/data/506/1850bigboy.jpg

God
08-02-2004, 01:14 PM
Because you have control issues. Demeaning the image of "the one" somehow empowers you. If I live to be ten trillion I will never understand man's desire to "out" the creator as a heretic. i forgive you.
By the way, I love fat people. They are usually in a good mood.

Jrocket
08-02-2004, 01:21 PM
God,
Could you pass a message on to Topless that I want to hump her!:D

Troubles No More
08-02-2004, 01:22 PM
Can you put in a good word with Mother Nature for some snow and or rain this winter to fill Lake Powell and Lake Mead? And will you please send me Wednesday’s California lotto numbers today..
Also
Can you keep all the California boats off Lake Havasu, it’s upsetting the community.

79miller
08-02-2004, 01:22 PM
Must be because I'm fat....

Scream
08-02-2004, 01:23 PM
Originally posted by God
Because you have control issues. Demeaning the image of "the one" somehow empowers you. If I live to be ten trillion I will never understand man's desire to "out" the creator as a heretic. i forgive you.
By the way, I love fat people. They are usually in a good mood.
What have they got to loose?

God
08-02-2004, 01:27 PM
I gave up telling Californians what to do long ago. How do I advise humans that invent $20,000 sunglasses? They are too far gone. At best the new laws I have sanctioned in San francisco will keep them from procreating. Say, amen.
I am not a pimp. Besides...topless likes me best. :D

Keithb87
08-02-2004, 01:36 PM
GOD is DOG backwards :D

Keithb87
08-02-2004, 01:38 PM
And which came first?????
The chicken or the egg????
Or did the rooster take all the pleasure?? :D

HCS
08-02-2004, 01:40 PM
Originally posted by God
I gave up telling Californians what to do long ago. How do I advise humans that invent $20,000 sunglasses? They are too far gone. At best the new laws I have sanctioned in San francisco will keep them from procreating. Say, amen.
I am not a pimp. Besides...topless likes me best. :D
Ok Tom Brown. Where's tha avatar?

God
08-02-2004, 01:42 PM
Chickens are the smartest animal of all species. The chicken and rooster appeared together. And then...the egg. I tried many types before settling on what you know as the common chicken. I apologize for the emu.

Dave C
08-02-2004, 01:43 PM
thats actually kind of funny.
BTW I know some mean fat people. Ever try to take away their fries?...
Originally posted by God
I gave up telling Californians what to do long ago. How do I advise humans that invent $20,000 sunglasses? They are too far gone. At best the new laws I have sanctioned in San francisco will keep them from procreating. Say, amen.
:D

AleAlchemist
08-02-2004, 01:47 PM
Dear God,
If you are everywhere do you watch me take a dump?
and Why do guys have nipples?
and When I have beer by itself it taste bad, when I have woman by itself it taste bad, when I have both its oh so good, was that planned?

Mandelon
08-02-2004, 01:51 PM
God, why do men and women have such different sex drives? :confused:

topless
08-02-2004, 01:52 PM
Originally posted by Mandelon
God, why do men and women have such different sex drives? :confused:
You mean men don't have a sex drive????:confused:

HCS
08-02-2004, 01:55 PM
What brings God to ***boat? And what God are you?
Is it your sunlight that makes majuana grow?

ROZ
08-02-2004, 01:56 PM
Originally posted by God
Man cannot control his own dependancy on fossil fuels. The sun is a perpetual, natural, clean energy source. Do not fool yourself into thinking you understand it's power by making up terms and names of gasses that exist within it.
I have solar energy.... :p
I thought you were an entity and therefore couldn't be x trillions of years old.... After your pet project, the earth, has used up it's recources and shrivels away like a rotting grape, you'll still be"somewhere".
Wait, I just figured out who you are.....
http://www.lifeaftertheoilcrash.net/PageOne.html Savinar! :D

God
08-02-2004, 01:56 PM
Dear Al, a "dump" is vital to the longevity of the machine you call a body. Watching you expel (which I see from time to time) is not nearly as bad as watching you masturbate. I am sorry about the "two fingers" length but it's as funny as hell watching you go after it.
Guys have nipples because they and women are from similar molds. I did not want to start from scratch so you share different exagerrated components. If I had it to do over I would have put man's penis on his chin.
If women taste bad you are eating out of your genetic make-up. Try San Francisco. They have apartments.

RiverDave
08-02-2004, 02:00 PM
Tom your going straight to hell for this... LOL :D
RD

God
08-02-2004, 02:03 PM
FML, I don't do riddles. They are for Saturday night in the Pocono's.
Men and women have the same sex drive. Men just want to drive it more often.
Earth is not a "pet" project. It is a very small piece of a very complex energy making machine, that is far beyond your understanding. In the overall picture Earth is not a very important piece of the puzzle.

ROZ
08-02-2004, 02:05 PM
Originally posted by God
It would be beneath me to ... Well you've degraded youself to posting on ***boat, so...... :D

FMluvswater
08-02-2004, 02:06 PM
Originally posted by God
FML, I don't do riddles. They are for Saturday night in the Pocono's.
I see.

ROZ
08-02-2004, 02:12 PM
Originally posted by God
In the overall picture Earth is not a very important piece of the puzzle. Exactly what I was saying, but you knew that.....

ROZ
08-02-2004, 02:14 PM
Why does Tom Brown like bran muffins so much?

topless
08-02-2004, 02:15 PM
Originally posted by ROZ
Why does Tom Brown like bran muffins so much?
That one is easy. It's because of his fascination with bowel movements.:D

God
08-02-2004, 02:16 PM
Tom Brown hurries out of the bathroom for fear of dying in there. He has what we call in heaven....The Elvis complex.

ROZ
08-02-2004, 02:20 PM
Originally posted by God
Tom Brown hurries out of the bathroom for fear of dying in there. He has what we call in heaven....The Elvis complex. Speaking of Elvis, how the hell is he? :D

God
08-02-2004, 02:22 PM
Elvis almost didn't make it in. However, he turned me on to a pharmacist that will fill almost any prescription. He is doing fine and trying to open a child proof bottle as we speak. He still has nice hair.

HCS
08-02-2004, 02:25 PM
Originally posted by God
Tom Brown hurries out of the bathroom for fear of dying in there. He has what we call in heaven....The Elvis complex.
That just happen to my sister in laws mother.:frown:

ROZ
08-02-2004, 02:25 PM
How about our friend Jones..... Did he ever figure out how to make Kool Aid?

ROZ
08-02-2004, 02:29 PM
Originally posted by HARDCORE-SKI
That just happen to my sister in laws mother.:frown:
All kidding aside, this is actually common....

God
08-02-2004, 02:36 PM
Jones killed hundreds of idiots. You all must die anyway. When cults kill each other off, we go to the pay window in heaven. I had money on Koresh but Reno beat me out of a hundred bucks.

HM
08-02-2004, 02:38 PM
God, your sarchasm rocks!!
What happened to the woman that bitch slapped me at the gas station? Did you laugh so hard that it made you cry?

God
08-02-2004, 02:41 PM
Holy Moly, you weren't just slapped. Tell them the truth. She whooped your ass. The truth shall set you free.

ROZ
08-02-2004, 02:43 PM
Oh, how about the Heaven's Gate group from Ranch Santa Fe, did they manage to get a ride on the comet? Did they atleast make it to heaven's gate? :D

HCS
08-02-2004, 02:46 PM
Originally posted by ROZ
All kidding aside, this is actually common....
That's what I hear.
After she went to the head her blood pressure dropped.
And so did she.:frown:

ROZ
08-02-2004, 02:48 PM
God, what the heck is up with the Dodgers trading their team away?:eek:

God
08-02-2004, 02:49 PM
Heaven's Gate was a good idea. More people need to try it. Please inform the Hell's Angels, the Klu Klux Klan, all Dianetics followers and the Skinheads that I highly approve of it. I'll send a comet just for them.

God
08-02-2004, 02:50 PM
In Heaven we watch the Dallas Cowboy's. Baseball is a sport we use to punish people in hell. The same with televised golf.

HM
08-02-2004, 02:50 PM
Originally posted by God
Holy Moly, you weren't just slapped. Tell them the truth. She whooped your ass. The truth shall set you free.
While that may be true, there was no blood, so the Cops said they could do nothing. Or...did you just send them to laugh at me?
Yes, it was not a slap, but bitch slapped sounds a lot funnier than back handed, unless a back handed bitch slap is considered funnier.
I did learn a good lesson....never ask a black woman if she is deaf and stupid.:D

God
08-02-2004, 02:52 PM
Amen.
Never mess with black women. Even black men know better. (Except P Diddly.)

God
08-02-2004, 03:06 PM
It's a shame you never asked the important stuff that I would have been happy to share with you this day? Me bless you all. Pray to me and as always never say medamnit. I will be watching. Adieu.
oops, wrong board, I meant ciao.
oops, wrong board again, I meant adios.

ROZ
08-02-2004, 03:07 PM
Hows the water on Milliken Lake? Does it glow at night?

Debbolas
08-02-2004, 03:10 PM
Originally posted by God
Chloropasts are man's way to understand his environment and justify his existence. The sun is merely a battery for the energy machine that you are a small part of. It is beyond your capacity to understand beyond that.
uh, I don't want to argue with God and all but Cholorplasts are the cells in plants that make photosysthesis. Scientists know the plant makes it energy from these cells, they just don't know how. Gotta go vacumn my boat, God, have a great day.
P.S. If you are from the mediteranian, are ya Greek?;)
Debbolas<----------1/4 Greek:D

MagicMtnDan
08-02-2004, 03:47 PM
I Googled you and here is your picture...
http://artgeek5000.com/sketch/god.gif

MagicMtnDan
08-02-2004, 03:50 PM
http://abc.typepad.com/3blindmice/lgDear-God.jpg

Hallett19
08-02-2004, 04:53 PM
Oh, also God, why can't football be on year round ? And when are you going to legalize gambling in CA ? oh, and about that g spot thing...... :D

Debbolas
08-02-2004, 05:03 PM
I miss God, is he coming back?;)

INFINITEJJ
08-02-2004, 06:20 PM
I think gOD got hit by a lightning bolt.

ratso
08-02-2004, 06:36 PM
...probably the Dr Phil dude that made an appearance on Barney around last year.:D

missboatnam1
08-02-2004, 06:53 PM
i dont know but he was crackin me up!!
i wonder who he really is!! :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Debbolas
08-02-2004, 07:19 PM
:D

DogHouse
08-02-2004, 07:32 PM
God is takin' a break so that Lake Pirate can start posting again...
:D

Dr. Eagle
08-02-2004, 07:38 PM
Originally posted by DogHouse
God is takin' a break so that Lake Pirate can start posting again...
:D
Is he taking a crack break?

Kim Hanson
08-02-2004, 08:09 PM
Originally posted by missboatnam1
i dont know but he was crackin me up!!
i wonder who he really is!! :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
I would say a bored Tom............( . )( . ).....:D

topless
08-02-2004, 09:53 PM
I know who he is and he is my hero...............:D :D :D

Tom Brown
09-03-2007, 01:04 PM
I have been searching for you, where the hell you been hiding? eh.
He's been kicking it at boatsnblonde's house. :cool:

Jbb
09-03-2007, 01:05 PM
If you are really God, then why are you only a Junior Member ??
Leibniz....where have you and MMD been?....:D

hoolign
09-02-2008, 01:15 PM
Bump ...lol :D

phuggit
09-02-2008, 05:59 PM
Good times:D