This made me laugh

[Boozer]

So it turns out the people trying to recrute me for Paychex are not working as employees of paychex but rather an outsource company working for them. My interview with Paychex is at 2pm this afternoon and these are the "power" statements I am told to use in my interview.
ï‚· I am driven to be number one. I find out who your best person is and I will compete.
ï‚· I know prospecting is the life blood of any successful salesperson. The more people I talk to, the more opportunities I have to win.
ï‚· I set goals for myself everyday. 60 calls a day, ten meetings per week,
20 follow up calls daily
ï‚· I am extremely aggressive, I hate to lose
ï‚· I never have a problem being motivated. I realize I am an employee
receiving a salary, commissions, support, and benefits. In return, you will
receive 150% effort
ï‚· I pride myself on professionalism. Every in personal call I prepare twice
as much in time to be effective. I research in what to say, who I will be talking to
and what is important to them
ï‚· Hiring me will be the best decision you will make in 2004
ï‚· My main weakness is that I am too hard on myself, I am never satisfied
ï‚· I will treat the companyÂ’s expenses as if their were my own.
ï‚· I am very honest in business as well as personal
ï‚· I will only call my manager when I need their assistance
Am I running for president or am I trying to get a job? While some of these statements make valid points They are formatted by a 10 year old.
Hopefully you guys laugh about this as much as I do.

[Sleek-Jet]

I don't play well with others. :D
Hell if you can give 150%, why not 200%???... go for the gold... 1000%!!
Those are pretty funny, I wonder if any of those lines really work??

[Kachina26]

Yeah, what happened to the standard 110% that the athletes give?

[OLDRAT]

c'mon Boozer, you...can...do...it :D
Just typical corporate bullshit. Kind of like peer reviews, it sucks

[Keithb87]

ï‚· I will treat the companyÂ’s expenses as if their were my own.
:idea: This one would worry me. :idea:

[Debbolas]

You can do it!!!!!!!
lol ;)
Yeah, those statements sound like something from Cosmo "How to get hired".....
Good Luck!
:D

[Dave C]

yes good line of B.S.
But I think we can do better:
1) I do not get along with otherw because of my constant badgering and harrassment.
2) I am moody, mean and sometimes volatile.
3) I own an AK-47.
hire me or you will be sorry ;)

[HM]

I had a couple friends go to work for PayChex right out of college and make some serious money for being 22 years old. One buddy, Imran, made $150K his first year. His best year was over $200K. All of them did over $100K. They did work their butts off. It is a high paced environment - Boiler Room style.
Perhaps you don't like the questionaire, but it quickly sorts all the shleprocks and pikers out. They don't care what you think of the questionaire, if you don't like it, your a piker. Pikers want benefits, pikers want to know how much vacation you get.....you want vacation time? Go get a job as a 3rd grade teacher and then try to make your house payment. Your parents don't like what you do....say fock you mom & dad while you make their lexus payments for them. People work there for one reason and one reason only; to make a lot of focking money. :wink:
It is called sorting Boozer. If you don't like it, you have just been sorted. :)
The only problem with that questionaire is that 80% of the people who answer them are still pikers.

[Debbolas]

I had a couple friends go to work for PayChex right out of college and make some serious money for being 22 years old. One buddy, Imran, made $150K his first year. His best year was over $200K. All of them did over $100K. They did work their butts off. It is a high paced environment - Boiler Room style.
Perhaps you don't like the questionaire, but it quickly sorts all the shleprocks and pikers out. They don't care what you think of the questionaire, if you don't like it, your a piker. Pikers want benefits, pikers want to know how much vacation you get.....you want vacation time? Go get a job as a 3rd grade teacher and then try to make your house payment. Your parents don't like what you do....say fock you mom & dad while you make their lexus payments for them. People work there for one reason and one reason only; to make a lot of focking money. :wink:
It is called sorting Boozer. If you don't like it, you have just been sorted. :)
The only problem with that questionaire is that 80% of the people who answer them are still pikers.
I saw that movie last week................with Ben Afleck, what was it called.....Boiler Room? This Jewish kid was runnig a casino in his house, his dad was a judge and ashamed of what his kid was doing. He gets hooked up with all these "stock brokers" and starts selling. Ben Aflecks speech was pretty much word for word what you wrote!
:sqsmile:

[HM]

I saw that movie last week................with Ben Afleck, what was it called.....Boiler Room? ....... Ben Aflecks speech was pretty much word for word what you wrote!
:sqsmile:
Really? I had no idea. :smilespi: :smilespi: :smilespi:
I have only seen that movie 1 or 20 times. :wink:

[Debbolas]

Is it called Boiler Room?
I need to watch it from the begining....I missed the first part :confused:

[HM]

Is it called Boiler Room?
I need to watch it from the begining....I missed the first part :confused:
Yup. Boiler Room.

[Mrs. Psycho Squid]

yes good line of B.S.
But I think we can do better:
1) I do not get along with otherw because of my constant badgering and harrassment.
2) I am moody, mean and sometimes volatile.
3) I own an AK-47.
hire me or you will be sorry ;)
Don't forget:
4) I will spend 90% of my day on ***boat forums

[PlyaPlya22]

Don't foreget to tell them that you will be ginving the 100% to posting and 50% to the job :eek!:

[Debbolas]

Don't foreget to tell them that you will be ginving the 100% to posting and 50% to the job :eek!:
yep 150% that makes total sense!! :D

[Boozer]

Well... No need for those "Power Statements" I recieved a job offer from a start up Telco company based in Irvine that is looking to expand it's territory. They offered me everything Paychex was offering and because it's a start up company it will be easier to climb the corporate ladder since I'm going to be Employee 8 of a company that is proposed to grow to 150 in the next year and keep growing and growing.
The start up company thing concerned me but they are completely cash flow positive and will remain that way due to controlled growth the owner is former VP of sales for MCI so he seems to know his sh*t so it's a company that's going to be around for a while.
Needless to say I accepted the offer and cancelled my interview with paychex.
I'll be celebrating this achievement in Baja Mexico this weekend. Anyone need any Rx's like viagra while I'm down there?

[Debbolas]

yeah, pick me up some valium and vicoden :sqsmile:
and congrats on your new job.......should we be buying some stock?

[Tom Brown]

I could use some Xanax for a twitch I seem to be developing.
Congratulations, Boozer. :)

[HCS]

Stay away from Paxel. It's been determined that it causes suicide.

[Debbolas]

Stay away from Paxel. It's been determined that it causes suicide.
does that mean I have to stop taking it? :eek!:

[HCS]

does that mean I have to stop taking it? :eek!:
Yes it's does.

[Dave C]

great movie!
Yup. Boiler Room.

[Dave C]

Boozer,
I have heard some of their sales pitches.
to say they don't contain a fair amount of B.S. would be an exaggeration.
if you know what I mean.
But hey money is money. They are a "sales and marketing machine." For a salesman like yourself, thats good.

[Boozer]

Boozer,
I have heard some of their sales pitches.
to say they don't contain a fair amount of B.S. would be an exaggeration.
if you know what I mean.
But hey money is money. They are a "sales and marketing machine." For a salesman like yourself, thats good.
Hearing you say this makes me glad I didn't even bother with them them. "a fair amount of B.S." I'm a professional not a used car salesman I don't prech B.S. because it's just that B.S. High pressure sales tactics aren't the way I work. If you aren't 100% confident in the product I'm selling and the only way to close is you by pressuring you boilder room style, then I'm not going to sell to you because that's just not the way I do things. I have been successful standing by that so far, hopefully my success continues out here, if not, well... At least I tried.