View Full Version : Censorship in Heaven
Since you have ultimately given up many of your rights including the right to public demonstration without a fight... I have decided to quit kissing your ass in heaven. From now on, one mansion to a family. I will add bedrooms as you qualify. One bus per household. The requests for Porche's and Labourghini's are now passe. I will no longer hand out wings arbitrarily either. From this day forward I will only give wings to the truly worthy and Pamela Anderson. That is all.
lucky
09-22-2004, 11:44 AM
can we still procreate?freely or do we still have to go to confesional -- father ??? :eek:
Since you have ultimately given up many of your rights including the right to public demonstration without a fight... I have decided to quit kissing your ass in heaven. From now on, one mansion to a family. I will add bedrooms as you qualify. One bus per household. The requests for Porche's and Labourghini's are now passe. I will no longer hand out wings arbitrarily either. From this day forward I will only give wings to the truly worthy and Pamela Anderson. That is all.
No wings.....?..To hell with it then... :devil:
Dave Koresh and I handle most of the procreating. Most of you will be eunichs and you won't miss it...much? I may throw Janet Reno and Julia Child your way? I still haven't flipped a coin on Martha Stewart.
God........could you explain .......This...? (http://media.euniverse.com/funpages/cms_content/1956/squirrel_revival1.swf)
Keithb87
09-22-2004, 02:04 PM
I dont care who you are... Dat Dere is Funny :D
Jet Boat Brian
Was that Steve Buscemi? I didn't know he had been "endowed?"
I let revivalists and evangelicals in heaven. They mow yards and tend gardens for Mexicans. I am a fair God.
HOOTER SLED-
09-22-2004, 02:17 PM
Since you have ultimately given up many of your rights including the right to public demonstration without a fight... I have decided to quit kissing your ass in heaven. From now on, one mansion to a family. I will add bedrooms as you qualify. One bus per household. The requests for Porche's and Labourghini's are now passe. I will no longer hand out wings arbitrarily either. From this day forward I will only give wings to the truly worthy and Pamela Anderson. That is all.
God, how come you can't spell Porsche correctly? He who inventeth spell check does not useth. :D
Mandelon
09-22-2004, 02:23 PM
There was a man who wanted to cross Niagra Falls on a tightrope. He was an excellent tightrope walker, so this would be an obtainable challenge for him.
He did it without much trouble! It was quite amazing since he would die if he fell! When he finished this feat, he vowed to walk across the tightrope with a wheelbarrow.
One woman said, "I believe you can do that! You are the greatest and there's no one better than you!"
The accomplished daredevil said to the woman, "If you believe, get in the wheelbarrow!"
NashvilleBound
09-22-2004, 02:25 PM
Be carefull for what you ask for..........
lucky
09-22-2004, 02:38 PM
Dave Koresh and I handle most of the procreating. Most of you will be eunichs and you won't miss it...much? I may throw Janet Reno and Julia Child your way? I still haven't flipped a coin on Martha Stewart.
JESUS CHRIST---- LOOKS AS IF WE SHALL BE PRACTICING CELIBACY - :eek: I GOT DIBS ON JULIA CHILDS - ONLY IF SHE SHARES THE BOTTLE . OHH AND YOU SHOULD BEWARE OF MARTHA AS I HEARD SHE IS A NOMINATE FOR THE CATHOLIC CHURCH - THATS RIGHT SHE IS A POWERFUL DIC- TATOR ?? :crossx: BUT SHE CAN MAKE A MEAN GLASS OF RELIGIOUS COOL ADE !!
Hooter
Man invented spelling not I. I find it troubling you are worried abut how to spell a car yet you allow imputities in the spirit to flourish unchecked? I have endowed you with the privilidge of a mind. If you choose to play in the dictionary I won't really care too much? Good luck. By the way...I misspelled Lamborghini also. Neither of which you will ever have so...no need to worry.
Lucky
No kool aid jokes please. Koresh and Jim Jones had a bet. Martha is fine. Totie Fields needed a decorator anyway.
There are no wheelbarrels in heaven. I have fat people carry the heavy stuff. It's a misdemenor to be fat in eclesiastical terms.
Sportin' Wood
09-22-2004, 03:03 PM
I am jumping on the God band wagon, where can I get the sticker for my car?
God you are a funny man thank you for visiting us.
I'm not worthy.
Let me get this straight its ok to do bad things as long as I have the sticker on my car, tell everyone I am only human, and a sinner? Can I really buy a beach front home and a chopper with my followers donations?
Your humble servant,
Woody
Mr Wood
It's not what you have but what you do with it. That works on several levels. Take Woody Allen for example. I endowed him with many gifts, sans...good looks. In return he has devoted his life to raising a Viet Namese child. What a guy...eh?
Mr Wood
It's not what you have but what you do with it. That works on several levels. Take Woody Allen for example. I endowed him with many gifts, sans...good looks. In return he has devoted his life to raising a Viet Namese child. What a guy...eh?
Welcome to the boards.......Bob...! (http://www.bobsagetisgod.com/)
Kim Hanson
09-22-2004, 06:55 PM
God........could you explain .......This...? (http://media.euniverse.com/funpages/cms_content/1956/squirrel_revival1.swf)
Thats funny Brian......( . )( . )....... :wink:
Bob Saget is not I. He is (however) the Maharishi. This is proven by his brilliant advice to Jesse on Full House when Jesse was having a bad hair day.
Danny: What's up with that hair?
Jesse: I can't believe it? I've never had a bad hair day. God doesn't want me to have this date.
Danny: Wear a hat!
Brilliance. Very few understand the brilliance of simplicity. Saget is one. lennon was one. There were very few.
CornWater
09-22-2004, 08:00 PM
God, I know am new, and I am sure that your plate is full...
But, perhaps you could find the time... Can you explain the Latter-Day Saints to me, because I just don't get it...
Glad you asked Cornwater. It's actually very easy. Your relationship with me is personal and different for everyone. Anyone that turns me into a business venture or a "my way or the highway" cult like Catholicism or just pick one, is NOT sanctioned by me. I do not put Latter Day Saints any higher on the scale than Devil worshipers. Each has picked a deity to make a buck and influence people into believing their interpretation of me or their way of life. One is no better than the other in my eyes. I will judge you based on how you treated other people, my precious animal life and the beautiful planet I bestowed upon you. Nothing less. Nothing more. It is all...very simple.
CornWater
09-22-2004, 08:30 PM
Glad you asked Cornwater. It's actually very easy. Your relationship with me is personal and different for everyone. Anyone that turns me into a business venture or a "my way or the highway" cult like Catholicism or just pick one, is NOT sanctioned by me. I do not put Latter Day Saints any higher on the scale than Devil worshipers. Each has picked a deity to make a buck and influence people into believing their interpretation of me or their way of life. One is no better than the other in my eyes. I will judge you based on how you treated other people, my precious animal life and the beautiful planet I bestowed upon you. Nothing less. Nothing more. It is all...very simple.
LMFAO... :D :D :D Your otay as Buckwheat would say...
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