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View Full Version : Heyyyyy FM.



HammerDown
09-30-2004, 07:08 PM
Guess what. :frown:

FRENCHIE
09-30-2004, 07:10 PM
hey HD....how is it your one of the few cool mod's on these boards!!?? :cool: adn some others act like immature dic#s!!!!?? :rolleyes: :mad:
I have a prob with anyone who interupts a good laugh and peeople having fun, changing the words in their posts etc...thats just b.s!!!!
You just post like all the others having fun and "RUNNING IT HARD" in the Beaumont crew!! :wink:

FMluvswater
09-30-2004, 07:14 PM
Guess what. :frown:
Peach scented are inferior to lemon scented? :confused:

HammerDown
09-30-2004, 07:23 PM
Ya know...I'm having an issue over here :eek: :( , somewhat of a trama... and your making this terrible news some what hard to share with all this mod talk. :rolleyes: :)

FMluvswater
09-30-2004, 07:25 PM
Ya know...I'm having an issue over here :eek: :( , somewhat of a trama... and your making this terrible news some what hard to share with all this mod talk. :rolleyes: :)
:( Okay you have my attention HammerDown what is the terrible news?

MRS FLYIN VEE
09-30-2004, 07:51 PM
well what is the prob.. we are here to listen. :jawdrop:

FMluvswater
09-30-2004, 08:15 PM
Where's my pal? :confused:

HammerDown
09-30-2004, 08:16 PM
I can't go on tonight...the moment has passed :squiggle: . Especially now with some type of computer problem with Hot Boat Forum.I tryed to reply over and over but I couldn't...it's like it didn't want me to say :( :notam:
Stay tuned...maybe tomorrow I'll be able to share this horrific news. :messedup:
:D

FMluvswater
09-30-2004, 08:18 PM
I can't go on tonight...the moment has passed :squiggle: . Especially now with some type of computer problem with Hot Boat Forum.I tryed to reply over and over but I couldn't...it's like it didn't want me to say :( :notam:
Stay tuned...maybe tomorrow I'll be able to share this horrific news. :messedup:
:D
Oh there you are. Well huh that sucks .. timing is everything eh? For sure I'll stay tuned! :D
Your stalker forever :D ,

HammerDown
09-30-2004, 08:27 PM
Hey I'm back, where ya's at :frown: ...climbed outta bed to spill the beans............................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .......but I can't. :( I'll just go back to bed
:p

FMluvswater
09-30-2004, 08:36 PM
You're being a big friggin tease with all this mysterious got something to tell you stuff! :devil: I'm nosy but I'm not pushy - you got something to spill I'd like to hear it but I am not gonna beg for it! :D LMAO!

FMluvswater
09-30-2004, 08:44 PM
Hey I'm back, where ya's at :frown: ...climbed outta bed to spill the beans ... but I can't. :( I'll just go back to bed
:p
back to bed? :idea: HammerDown are you ill?

HammerDown
10-01-2004, 02:41 AM
I know it's waaaaaay to early to for you to be up. :( Can't keep this bottled up much longer :220v: ...but I'll try, This is me trying > :umm:
Trying kinda looks like I'm, well you know ...... :rollside:

FMluvswater
10-01-2004, 04:09 AM
LMAO! Yeah it does look like that! :D I hope you feel able to uhh unburden yourself soon! :D

Cheap Thrills
10-01-2004, 06:18 AM
Oh for GOD's sakes man SPIT IT OUT already :D
C.T. :wink:

FMluvswater
10-01-2004, 08:28 AM
I'm with him HammerDown! :D Well said CT! :D

HammerDown
10-02-2004, 05:03 AM
A note to those concerened...
Well, I can't talk about it at this time. I was so depressed :( from my experience :yuk: the other day that I had to take myself on a little vacation. :) Get away from the scene of the crime :220v: ...if you will. :rolleyes:
Being in a strange state, on a unfamiliar computer...I dare not type the horrors from my traumatic experience and take the chance of traumatizing :squiggle: :supp: people around me. Soooooooo >>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>you'll have to wait. :D

Rexone
10-02-2004, 08:39 AM
So Hammer, you constipated or what? Try some Bran Muffins.

FMluvswater
10-02-2004, 09:46 AM
A note to those concerened...
Well, I can't talk about it at this time. I was so depressed :( from my experience :yuk: the other day that I had to take myself on a little vacation. :) Get away from the scene of the crime :220v: ...if you will. :rolleyes:
Being in a strange state, on a unfamiliar computer...I dare not type the horrors from my traumatic experience and take the chance of traumatizing :squiggle: :supp: people around me. Soooooooo >>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>you'll have to wait. :D
Oh okay. Thanks for sparing our psyches, HammerDown. You're a good man. :) Just drown the memory in a drink or several and forget about it or at least never speak of it again. No sense re-traumatising yourself. :)

HammerDown
10-08-2004, 03:47 AM
FM...I feel the need. :umm:

FMluvswater
10-08-2004, 03:57 AM
For speed? Greed? Your ass to bleed? ;) :D (Sorry hon that was mean http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v56/FMluvswaterbabe/soothe.gif :D )

HammerDown
10-08-2004, 05:19 AM
[QUOTE=FMluvswaterbabe]For speed? Greed? Your ass to bleed? ;) :D (Sorry hon that was mean [IMG]QUOTE]
Coming from you, yes it was mean and if I may also say...very off color.
I just typed in detail the whole story that brought this horrific thread to life...I hit post and it wouldn't go through because I used tooooo many images and lost somewhere in internet outer space:rolleyes:
I'm to exhausted to retype at this time...but maybe later today...ok?

FMluvswater
10-08-2004, 10:03 AM
Coming from you, yes it was mean and if I may also say...very off color.
I just typed in detail the whole story that brought this horrific thread to life...I hit post and it wouldn't go through because I used tooooo many images and lost somewhere in internet outer space:rolleyes:
I'm to exhausted to retype at this time...but maybe later today...ok?
I be vewwy vewwy sowwy. :o I was only just scrambling for rhymes. :( :( :cry:
Too many images? Ouch. I know that dealio well. My advice is use preview always - even if you think it's not needed. It's a habit I have now and it has saved many of my sorta longwinded posts from being lost in cyberspace. :idea:
Just so you know I have been diligently doing my job. Everyday I check up on you (you sure haven't been into the posting much lately :( ). Makes stalking you rather difficult (I still strongly dislike that you're in invisible mode. Why, HD? Why you gotta be like that? :( ).
When you finally get to divulging what prompted this thread - I'll be paying attention.
Your stalker forever (still sorry for being mean and off color),

HammerDown
10-08-2004, 01:16 PM
Ok FM...so who could ever be upset with you...certainly not I... after all, your my favorite :wink: :rollside:
So when do ya want it...now or later when your settled in for the night?

FMluvswater
10-08-2004, 02:12 PM
Ok FM...so who could ever be upset with you...certainly not I... after all, your my favorite :wink: :rollside:
So when do ya want it...now or later when your settled in for the night?
What a relief! I was in tears over this. :cry: I thought you were mad at me. :o
I'm not calling the shots here HD. I just follow you around like a lost sad lil puppy. I want it whenever you tell me. :)
Your stalker forever :D ,

HammerDown
10-08-2004, 05:05 PM
Ok, the time has come to tell the story... Settle in, buckle up, hold on.
As you may know Wal-Mart set the bait with an (off brand) Peach scented type of wetnap. Their trap was set and like a fly to s**t I was lured in and took the evil bait!
At first everything was good...no make that great as I had found a new somewhat intoxicating bliss I slipped into when using these Peach scented moist toilette butt wipes. My office (crapper) became somewhat like a crack house in a dark dank alley pullin in it's ever waiting victim (me)...I couldn't get enough. I had to have more and more of those Peach scented wet wipes. However trouble with a capital T was about to rear it's ugly head...and boy did it!
I first started to notice the normal mighty roar from the flushing power of my ASSPPF-2000 > (American Standard Super Pro-Power Flush 2000) the most respected name in professional stink pickle removal equiptment...or in laymen terms my toilet :notam: became well...diminished. But like a drugged wet nap wiping fool from the Peach scented buzz I payed it no attention. I SHOULD HAVE!
To continue...if I may
One tranquil day while shi...opps, sitting in my office:rolleyes: in yet another Peach scented induced coma I expelled if I may say myself one quite spectacular large speed coated stink pickle...it was a doozy! :2purples: Any other day my mighty ASSPPF-2000 would laugh at such a challenge. But this wasn't about to be a normal flush...no sir not at all. :frown:
Still with me...?
The room was a blur, I felt light headed and in a stuper of a trance not only from the Peach scented wet nap but from giving birth to a gargantuan sized turd it was really titanic in size...as I reached down for the almost empty container of Peach scented wipes like a junky looking for a fix I then went for ....the wipe. But of course I had to take a sniff of that dam intoxicating moist toilette before I put it to work and it was sent to do it's evil work. And boy did I put it to work!
After the once again blissful wipe I found myself so weak and in a type of Peach aroma euphoria I wasn't able to rise from the throne! So before the flush I had to do one of my moves I call my right rear elbow flush lever move other wise known as (RREFLM) Even drugged like a junky satisfied from his evil fix I pulled this move off quite well, After all I am a pro.
BUT......something didn't sound right, not right at all with the flush of my ASSPPF-2000..... It lost it's mighty roar and I never herd the deep throaty gulp. I became nervous.
Something was about to happen.
Something bad...very bad...
Here we go.
While still stuck (due to the Peach induced coma) on my down filled padded throne and AFTER the right rear elbow flush move......I FELT SOMETHING WET!!! (gasp)! Yes I said WET...(gasp again)!
Yes, my twig and berries, frank and beans or what I call them> my big guy and his two little fuzzy buddies were becoming surrounded and submersed by the soiled stink pickle water. But oddly enough there was no foul odor...however it was quite pleasant, more like a walk in a Peach grove.
But yet I was to encounter yet another trauma, a horrific one to say the least...I felt something bump into my left cheek! :sqeyes: And I knew it wasn't the Tidy Bowl man. I knew what it was, but didn't want to admit it...yes, I had been the target of my own brown speed coated scudd missile.
I knew what I had to do...I had to prepare for battle :lightsabe This wasn't going to be pretty...so I slapped myself in the face several times to excape from the dizzying Peach scented choke hold those dam off brand wet toilettes had on me.
On ward...... we go
With my right hand...my favorite hand (don't ask)...I raised the arm rest on my toilet and reached down below for the water inlet flow valve so as to shut down the supply of water to the mighty ASSPPF-2000 I had to starve the beast from it's thirst for water.
But it wasn't there (gasp again)...for a micro second I became stymied. I then remembered on my modle of the newer virson of the American Standard Super Pro-Power Flush 2000 the water shut of valve was indeed on the LEFT side and NOT on the right as most common toilets.
Good thing I found it or the ever rising polluted water with a rather large impressive stink pickle afloat would have spewed over the edge and maybe cracked my tile floor and had me scamper to the closet with pants still down at the anlke to get my (break glass) for emergency use only ASSP2000-SAM > American Standard Super Pro 2000 - Super Absorbent Mop, For adult use only! That was a close one.
The final detail of this traumatic experience... I did need to finish up by using my American Standard Pro 2000 Toilet Snake to clear the pipes of those Dammmmm off brand Peach scented towlettes.
On a positive note, I will say I cleaned up quite nicely thanks to my (ASSPSH w/ OTCRH)> American Standard Supper Pro Shower Head W/Optional Turbo Cutting Rotary Head (that will part the hairs on your butt)...yes I've got the good stuff. And when your me ...ya need it :notam:
Ending I will say one thing I've learned from this horrific experience is to...always read the fine print. Because it just might say (non flushable).
I'm exhausted from reliving this horrible event...think I'll go lay down.
PS. I notified American Standard about this horrible event...thanks to me their now working on a newer more powerfull ASSPPF/2005 that will be delivered to my home free...after they test it on several elphants.

FMluvswater
10-08-2004, 05:30 PM
OMG! :2purples: :2purples: :2purples: My poor pal! :( How horrible for you! :( I understand previous posts so much the better now. (Please tell me when I'm allowed to bust a gut laughing. I'm trying to be considerate of your feelings here. :squiggle: ) Lemon scented are superior. Duly noted. :idea:

HammerDown
10-08-2004, 05:32 PM
(Please tell me when I'm allowed to bust a gut laughing.
Have at it. :D

FMluvswater
10-08-2004, 05:35 PM
Have at it. :D
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! AHAHAHAHAHA! LMMFAO!!! OMG! Poor you but hahahahahahahahaha!! :D :D :D Pants around your ankles hobble hobble hobble hahahahahahahahahaha! :D :cry: :D

HammerDown
10-08-2004, 07:23 PM
I hope you didn't hurt your self from all that laughter :notam:
:D

FMluvswater
10-08-2004, 11:08 PM
I hope you didn't hurt your self from all that laughter :notam:
:D
Well not seriously my face and sides were hurting my throat too a lil bit. ;) :D I think I lived that time. One of these times though you'll be the death of me I'm sure of it! :D

moneysucker
10-08-2004, 11:31 PM
That killed me. LOL. I hope since you are such a major proponent of American Standard, Maybe they will develop an American Standard Brand Peach scented FLUSHABLE wipe. We can only wait and pray for newest innovation in restroom technology since they put the restroom in the house.

Cheap Thrills
10-08-2004, 11:50 PM
http://www.***boat.com/image_center/data/500/11274_1_72.gif
HD.You ARE the man ! It took me 20 min. to read it I've laughed so hard I have puddles on my desk . and my side could use a few stiches to boot .
Bless your heart ya silly goose !http://www.***boat.com/image_center/data/500/11274_1_72.gif
C.T. :wink:

HammerDown
10-09-2004, 03:48 AM
http://www.***boat.com/image_center/data/500/11274_1_72.gif
HD.You ARE the man ! It took me 20 min. to read it I've laughed so hard I have puddles on my desk . and my side could use a few stiches to boot .
Bless your heart ya silly goose !http://www.***boat.com/image_center/data/500/11274_1_72.gif
C.T. :wink:
Hmmmm 20 minutes to do the read...ya know thats funny because the above took place in a matter of seconds.
And I even saved my fellow Hot Boat friends much of the graphic detail :messedup:
On a serious note...I'm thinking of starting a support group for people that may have experienced such toilet traumas.
I hope my dear friend FM will consider heading up the West Coast branch so there could be national coverage. (yes there will be t-shirts) with tear off long sleeves, just incase your out in the field and need a emergency wipe. :rolleyes:

moneysucker
10-09-2004, 08:22 AM
Will the sleeves be peach scented?

FMluvswater
10-09-2004, 09:22 AM
Will the sleeves be peach scented?
Only HammerDown's! :D (Everyone else knows that lemon scented is superior. ;) )
I won't let you down HD! ;) :D

FMluvswater
02-01-2005, 09:23 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v56/FMluvswaterbabe/bump.gif please see Post #26. :D
Also check these out ...
gross but funny (http://www.***boat.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=31303)
Something happened (http://www.***boat.com/forums/showthread.php?t=69601)

DaveA
02-01-2005, 10:31 PM
If someone had only remembered this event when we were all at Lake James the end of October, then Stoker Steve just might not have received the ShowOff Award... :devil: :D
.

switchin'addiction
02-02-2005, 05:49 AM
That laugh got my morning jumpstarted. Thanks HD!!

HammerDown
05-26-2005, 05:12 PM
Just had to do a bump...not a dump my FM :D

Mandelon
05-26-2005, 08:31 PM
Quality writing there....
Did the bowl overflow? Did it get your pants wet?........I hate that. :hammerhea

FMluvswater
05-27-2005, 01:16 AM
Just had to do a bump...not a dump my FM :D
Thanks HammerDown. :cool: Your stories are always worth a re-read! :Dhttp://www2.***boat.com/ubb/icons/icon14.gif I LMFAO all over again! :D :cry: :D You're such a good sport to share your trauma for our amusement! :D
Your http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v56/FMluvswaterbabe/HDforever.gif forever :D ,

FMluvswater
11-30-2005, 12:17 AM
Post #26 (above)! :D OMFG! LMAO all over again! :D

Cheap Thrills
09-24-2007, 12:54 AM
Bada bing bada bump. :D
T.

~FM
01-11-2009, 03:24 PM
You just weren't looking hard enough HammerDown, lol. ;) (Bookmarks help! :D )