God straightnes men out (for the girls)

[MsDrmr]

THIS WAS VOTED THE BEST E-MAIL OF THE YEAR!!!
>
> A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife
> stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
>
> "Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife
> merely
> stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her
> body to switch with mine for a day. Amen."
>
> God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish. The next
> morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked
> breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school
> clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to
> school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the
> cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit,
> went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the
> bills and balanced the check book. He cleaned the cat's litter box and
> bathed the dog.
>
> Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the
> laundry, vacuum, dust , and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to
> the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on
> the way home.
>
> Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their
> homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did
> the ironing. At
> 4:
> 30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the
> pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.
>
> After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded
> laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. he was
> exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to
> bed where he was expected to make love which he managed to get through
> without complaint.
>
> The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said,
> "Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my
> wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us
> trade back."
>
> The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have
> learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the
> way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got
> pregnant last night."
>
>

[IN2-IN2MX]

Hee hee. That's a good one mrsdrmr! :rollside:

[BarryMac]

Hey mrsdrmr, down on the guys today???
gjb

[MsDrmr]

Hey mrsdrmr, down on the guys today???
gjb
depends on how you mean that :D

[JustDawn]

A family is sitting around the supper table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?"
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."
"Onions?"
"Yes, see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated the wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mum, how many kind of penises are there?"
The mother, surprised, smiles, and looks at her husband and answers, "Well, dear, a man goes through three phases. In a man's twenties, his penis is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is like a birch, flexible, but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree?"
"Yes, dead from the root up & the balls are there for decoration only!" :p

[ratso]

I remember a few years back, my grandmother passed away. She was in her 80's and my grandfather was 90. They lived in a huge 2 story home, actually one entire 3 bedroom home above where they lived their entire lives. As their children got married, they were given the top floor to stay in until they built their own home. After so many years some of the grandchildren started living there, and so that's the way it went for many years. As I said, my grandmother passed on, and at the time my cousin and his wife, since they were newly married, were staying there at the time. So, it was up to them now to keep an eye on my grandfather since he was 90 years old and had lost a few steps. Well, about a month later my cousin and his wife came home after a night on the town. They went to the living room and didn't see my grandfather there, they checked the kitchen, the master bedroom, his office outside, couldn't find him anywhere. By now they are starting to panic and they call for him, but no answer. They go through the house again and finally check the guest bedroom...and my grandpa...has the neighbor lady from next door, who is about 80 herself, bent over the side of the bed knocking the bottom out of it. He turns his head when the door opens and remarks "Damnit! Didn't anyone ever teach you to knock!!!"
So, don't give me that Christmas Tree Bullsh#t... :D

[IN2-IN2MX]

I remember a few years back, my grandmother passed away. She was in her 80's and my grandfather was 90. They lived in a huge 2 story home, actually one entire 3 bedroom home above where they lived their entire lives. As their children got married, they were given the top floor to stay in until they built their own home. After so many years some of the grandchildren started living there, and so that's the way it went for many years. As I said, my grandmother passed on, and at the time my cousin and his wife, since they were newly married, were staying there at the time. So, it was up to them now to keep an eye on my grandfather since he was 90 years old and had lost a few steps. Well, about a month later my cousin and his wife came home after a night on the town. They went to the living room and didn't see my grandfather there, they checked the kitchen, the master bedroom, his office outside, couldn't find him anywhere. By now they are starting to panic and they call for him, but no answer. They go through the house again and finally check the guest bedroom...and my grandpa...has the neighbor lady from next door, who is about 80 herself, bent over the side of the bed knocking the bottom out of it. He turns his head when the door opens and remarks "Damnit! Didn't anyone ever teach you to knock!!!"
So, don't give me that Christmas Tree Bullsh#t... :D
:p Good for him!

[Mrs. Restless22]

I remember a few years back, my grandmother passed away. She was in her 80's and my grandfather was 90. They lived in a huge 2 story home, actually one entire 3 bedroom home above where they lived their entire lives. As their children got married, they were given the top floor to stay in until they built their own home. After so many years some of the grandchildren started living there, and so that's the way it went for many years. As I said, my grandmother passed on, and at the time my cousin and his wife, since they were newly married, were staying there at the time. So, it was up to them now to keep an eye on my grandfather since he was 90 years old and had lost a few steps. Well, about a month later my cousin and his wife came home after a night on the town. They went to the living room and didn't see my grandfather there, they checked the kitchen, the master bedroom, his office outside, couldn't find him anywhere. By now they are starting to panic and they call for him, but no answer. They go through the house again and finally check the guest bedroom...and my grandpa...has the neighbor lady from next door, who is about 80 herself, bent over the side of the bed knocking the bottom out of it. He turns his head when the door opens and remarks "Damnit! Didn't anyone ever teach you to knock!!!"
So, don't give me that Christmas Tree Bullsh#t... :D
LOL
You go grandpa! :p