PDA

View Full Version : It takes brains to cook a Turkey



BarryMac
11-22-2004, 12:10 PM
Concerned about cooking that Thanksgiving turkey? Just keep in mind that if you don't slice the bird with a chain saw, stomp on it to make it fit in a pan or lose it in a snowdrift, you'll already be doing better than some other Americans.
Cooks who have questions about how to prepare the seasonal feast have long been able to call help lines, offered by turkey producers, schools or others looking to provide assistance. But sometimes, the turkey traumas on Thanksgiving have even the experts stumped.
Mary Clingman serves as director of the Butterball Turkey Talk Line in Downers Grove, Ill. It expects to take more than 100,000 inquiries through Christmas.
Some past callers stand out.
"We got a call from a guy last year whose turkey wouldn't fit in his pan. He wrapped it in a towel and stomped on it until it did," Clingman said.
Another caller cut a turkey in half with a chain saw, then worried that oil on the saw might have transferred onto the turkey. A woman in Colorado who left her turkey outside to keep it frozen realized she couldn't find it when more snow fell.
And one phone call began: "You don't know anything about kitty litter, do you?" Clingman said a woman called after her husband poured kitty litter on the bottom of a new grill in hopes of absorbing drippings. Fortunately, the grill hadn't been lit yet, so the turkey was pulled off and cooked more conventionally, she said.
Kathy Bernard with the U.S. Department of Agriculture (news - web sites)'s Meat and Poultry Hotline in Beltsville, Md., said a caller last year wanted to make her bird inside a roasting bag, but didn't have one, so had improvised.
"She pulled a dry cleaning bag off her husband's suit, and it melted onto the bird," Bernard said.
Chris Whaley, a spokeswoman for Perdue in Salisbury, Md., said people should keep in mind that the Thanksgiving meal can be as simple or as complicated as they'd like it to be.
"I do believe it's reassuring to know not everyone's done it perfectly over the years," she said.

spectratoad
11-22-2004, 12:38 PM
How about if I stuff it with steel wool??? Will it heat that and cook it from both sides therebye reducing the cooktime, and can I eat the steel wool?
There are always questions. I still call my mom sometimes if she is not here.
Hey GJB, did your parents make it out of town ok?

Captain Dan
11-22-2004, 12:54 PM
Per Dave on DSC (KGB) last week - suggested crumbled up White Castle burgers for stuffing......that might be interesting.....

BarryMac
11-22-2004, 01:06 PM
How about if I stuff it with steel wool??? Will it heat that and cook it from both sides therebye reducing the cooktime, and can I eat the steel wool?
There are always questions. I still call my mom sometimes if she is not here.
Hey GJB, did your parents make it out of town ok?
They sure did, they are here in the Big SD for Turkey Day, thanks for asking...

MsDrmr
11-22-2004, 01:21 PM
I just do it the boring way,
clean it
stuff it
butter it
wrap it
throw it on the bbq
cook it
remove it
cut it
eat it
shit it :D

welk2party
11-22-2004, 01:25 PM
I just do it the boring way,
clean it
stuff it
butter it
wrap it
throw it on the bbq
cook it
remove it
cut it
eat it
shit it :D
I beleive I have been using this same recipe. :D

MsDrmr
11-22-2004, 01:28 PM
I beleive I have been using this same recipe. :D
I wonder who had it first? your family or mine, should we fight about it?? :D

welk2party
11-22-2004, 01:29 PM
I wonder who had it first? your family or mine, should we fight about it?? :D
FOOD FIGHT! :eek:

MsDrmr
11-22-2004, 01:33 PM
FOOD FIGHT! :eek:
some of the best food fights end with great sex, did ya know that?

uglycstmr
11-22-2004, 01:42 PM
I am one of those folks who got sucked into the "set it and forget it" phrase or should I say phase. I was given on of those Ronco Showtime cookers about 5 years ago and we have used it for everything including Prime Rib and it comes out fantastic. Well last year I decided to do our Thanksgiving Turkey in it and oh my let me tell you, talk about moist. So this year I bought the Professional size Showtime for what I hope is a repeat of last year. I'll never do a bird in the oven again.
Maybe more info than you were looking for, but thought I'd add. :)
Renee

Rod-64
11-22-2004, 01:48 PM
I just do it the boring way,
clean it
stuff it
butter it
wrap it
throw it on the bbq
cook it
remove it
cut it
eat it
shit it :D
That's funny..................shit it................but before that, those turkey farts are the worse though aren't they? Really fowl. :yuk: :D

MsDrmr
11-22-2004, 01:51 PM
That's funny..................shit it................but before that, those turkey farts are the worse though aren't they? Really fowl. :yuk: :D
I'm a woman, I don't fart :mad: I am so in :cool: ulted

Rod-64
11-22-2004, 01:57 PM
I'm a woman, I don't fart :mad: I am so in :cool: ulted
That's what my GF says..............but I know better..........women "poot" :D

MsDrmr
11-22-2004, 02:04 PM
That's what my GF says..............but I know better..........women "poot" :D
you otta listen to her more often. :p

spectratoad
11-22-2004, 02:13 PM
I just do it the boring way,
clean it
stuff it
butter it
wrap it
throw it on the bbq
cook it
remove it
cut it
eat it
shit it :D
I do that too but I do spank it before or during the butter part of it. :eek:

058
11-22-2004, 02:15 PM
That's what my GF says..............but I know better..........women "poot" :D
I thought women "fluffed"? :messedup:

MsDrmr
11-22-2004, 02:18 PM
I do that too but I do spank it before or during the butter part of it. :eek:
I don't spank, I massage, I believe that can get things going :sqeyes: am I right.

ROZ
11-22-2004, 02:21 PM
you otta listen to her more often. :p
Sounds like he does :squiggle: :D

spectratoad
11-22-2004, 02:25 PM
I don't spank, I massage, I believe that can get things going :sqeyes: am I right.
uh yeah. That does have a way to get the juices going and have better tasting meat. :wink:

BarryMac
11-22-2004, 02:28 PM
get the juices going for better tasting meat. :wink:
now that was funny spectratoad...

MsDrmr
11-22-2004, 03:45 PM
I thought you might say that,
thats how I like to treat my turkey. nice massage to get the juices started, slip it in the "oven" and bake..the suck he juice right out of it. :D

BarryMac
11-22-2004, 04:06 PM
then suck the juice right out of him. :D
Are we going back to the BJ thread again... :) :) :)

MsDrmr
11-22-2004, 04:47 PM
Are we going back to the BJ thread again... :) :) :)
You bet ya baby, why you wanna play

spectratoad
11-22-2004, 04:50 PM
Hey wait, me first. Where is this BJ thread? :D :D

MsDrmr
11-23-2004, 06:26 AM
Hey wait, me first. Where is this BJ thread? :D :D
oh man, that started a long time ago, one of my most popular posts, thats kinda where I had my comming out party (if you will) too bad ya missed it, it was a good one.(in a nut shell, somehow it was brought to eveyones attention, that I love to do that..ALOT)

BarryMac
11-23-2004, 06:35 AM
oh man, that started a long time ago, one of my most popular posts, thats kinda where I had my cumming out party (if you will) too bad ya missed it, it was a good one.(in a nut shell, somehow it was brought to eveyones attention, that I love to do that..ALOT)
Yeah, that's why I started flirting with you so much... :jawdrop: :cool: :jawdrop:

MsDrmr
11-23-2004, 06:38 AM
Yeah, that's why I started flirting with you so much... :jawdrop: :cool: :jawdrop:
ohhhhh thats right, I remember, how easily it's forgotten when you fall for the white and yellows :rolleyes:(goes to prove, men forget what they can't see) :notam: :D

spectratoad
11-23-2004, 07:33 AM
oh man, that started a long time ago, one of my most popular posts, thats kinda where I had my comming out party (if you will) too bad ya missed it, it was a good one.(in a nut shell, somehow it was brought to eveyones attention, that I love to do that..ALOT)
Yeah I like to have that done to me too..........ALOT. :D :D SOunds like a win-win to me. :D

MagicMtnDan
11-23-2004, 07:57 AM
Overheard on Thanksgiving day:
I put my turkey baster into her hot oven and then I squirted the juice. :D
These are some tender breasts! :smile:
You still have some gravy on your chin. :rollside:

MsDrmr
11-23-2004, 08:17 AM
Overheard on Thanksgiving day:
I put my turkey baster into her hot oven and then I squirted the juice. :D
These are some tender breasts! :smile:
You still have some gravy on your chin. :rollside:
yeah, thats all good :D
My mr loves havin me for a wife

BarryMac
11-23-2004, 08:45 AM
My mr loves havin me for a wife
Would he mind if you had a few dozen boyfriends???

MsDrmr
11-23-2004, 09:19 AM
Would he mind if you had a few dozen boyfriends???
I'll ask him, ya never know :notam: