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View Full Version : Your best come on line!



jlnorthrup122
12-18-2004, 08:53 PM
My all time best is : I ordered a pitcher of beer the waitress comes back with my beer and I ask her howmany comonlines she recieves in a night? She shrugs andsays I don't know! the I ask her what her favorite on is and she replise with this lam as comonline! so I say try this on out for size "Hello I am an astronought, and tonight I am on my maiden voyage to your anus" she just busted out laughing and said she had a new fav! but I got into a fight and did not get to follow thruogh! not allowed back that happens alot for misc reasons these days!

Newcastle
12-18-2004, 08:59 PM
How 'bout....
"Girl, I like every bone in your body....especially mine!"
Short and sweet...gets right to the point

jlnorthrup122
12-18-2004, 09:12 PM
New castle if a woman gives good response to that one bro You probly don't want anything but head from that one!!! but it is funny though! :D

Havasu_Dreamin
12-18-2004, 09:19 PM
I am what I eat, I wanna be you in the morning. :D

jlnorthrup122
12-18-2004, 09:26 PM
That would make a good finally! :D

Ivan Dan
12-18-2004, 09:56 PM
How 'bout....
"Girl, I like every bone in your body....especially mine!"
Short and sweet...gets right to the point
I thought your favorite one was......"If I created the alphabet I would have put U and I together"

Starloans
12-18-2004, 09:56 PM
Chicks always like to know what guys do for a living right away. When I'm having a conversation with one at a bar, especially if I think shes a smart ass high maintanance chick trying to size up my wallet, my response to what I do for a living will be:
I'm a taxidermist. She says "a taxidermist????" I say yeah. You know, I stuff animals. As a matter of fact I'm headed home soon to stuff a beaver. Would you like to join me??? :jawdrop:

topless
12-18-2004, 09:58 PM
My all time best is : I ordered a pitcher of beer the waitress comes back with my beer and I ask her howmany comonlines she recieves in a night? She shrugs andsays I don't know! the I ask her what her favorite on is and she replise with this lam as comonline! so I say try this on out for size "Hello I am an astronought, and tonight I am on my maiden voyage to your anus" she just busted out laughing and said she had a new fav! but I got into a fight and did not get to follow thruogh! not allowed back that happens alot for misc reasons these days!Ummmmmm are you drunk right now?????? :rolleyes:

Ivan Dan
12-18-2004, 09:59 PM
Ummmmmm are you drunk right now?????? :rolleyes:
Based on his typing I would guess so....not that theres anything wrong with that of course

topless
12-18-2004, 10:01 PM
Based on his typing I would guess so....not that theres anything wrong with that of courseI think I need a drink. :eat:

diggler
12-18-2004, 10:03 PM
Of course, my favorite line I've ever seen used (haven't tried it myself), is in my signature line..... :D
No drinks for me tonight, I hurt my liver last night at the company Christmas party.

topless
12-18-2004, 10:04 PM
Of course, my favorite line I've ever seen used (haven't tried it myself), is in my signature line..... :D
No drinks for me tonight, I hurt my liver last night at the company Christmas party.That one turns me on!!!! :2purples:

diggler
12-18-2004, 10:08 PM
That one turns me on!!!! :2purples:
You know, the funny thing is.... I was down in Havasu at some event at some bar or other. (sorry for being vague, but I was pretty lit), and my friend used this on this woman. She couldn't stop laughing, and he ended up taking her home that night. :rollside:

topless
12-18-2004, 10:10 PM
How come girls never get to use lines like that? :frown:

diggler
12-18-2004, 10:11 PM
Go ahead, try your best line on me

topless
12-18-2004, 10:13 PM
Go ahead, try your best line on me
Did you fall from heaven?.........Oh never mind.

diggler
12-18-2004, 10:13 PM
Did you fall from heaven?.........Oh never mind.
LMAO!!!

topless
12-18-2004, 10:15 PM
LMAO!!!
So it turns you on huh? :)

diggler
12-18-2004, 10:17 PM
So it turns you on huh? :)
You know it! :devil:
Here's another one I've seen used in a bar:
"I may not have gotten your virginity, but can I at least have the box it came in?" :D

topless
12-18-2004, 10:19 PM
You know it! :devil:
Here's another one I've seen used in a bar:
"I may not have gotten your virginity, but can I at least have the box it came in?" :DOh baby!!!!!!!!!! LMAO :D

topless
12-18-2004, 10:32 PM
So how about this one.
Him: do you want to go to breakfast?
Her: Yes
Him: Should I call you or nudge you?

upsman105
12-18-2004, 10:41 PM
those clothes you are wearing would look really hot in a pile next to my bed.

HOOTER SLED-
12-19-2004, 12:03 AM
Would you like to lick my balls ???? Works all the time. :D :D :D

HM
12-19-2004, 12:12 AM
How come girls never get to use lines like that? :frown:
Probably because all you have to do is make eye contact. Perhaps on difficult guys, you might have to say, "Hey, you"
:cool:

HOOTER SLED-
12-19-2004, 12:21 AM
Was your Daddy a meat burglar???? It looks like like you got 2 fine hams underneath that skirt!!! STOLEN :D :D

flatnfast
12-19-2004, 07:15 AM
wanna go halfs on a bastard child?

Newcastle
12-19-2004, 07:18 AM
You can ask her, "You want a pizza and ****?" If she looks at you funny, just ask her,"What, you don't like pizza?"

LUVNLIFE
12-19-2004, 07:47 AM
How about I have a ten and a half inch dick :D

Mrs.Racer277
12-19-2004, 07:54 AM
How about I have a ten and a half inch dick :D
LMAO!!! :rollside: :rollside:

JetBoatRich
12-19-2004, 07:55 AM
How about I have a ten and a half inch dick :D
set her up for a dissapointment :confused: from Jen said :confused:

LUVNLIFE
12-19-2004, 07:56 AM
I only use the second five inches on Jen :D

mike37
12-19-2004, 07:59 AM
Probably because all you have to do is make eye contact. Perhaps on difficult guys, you might have to say, "Hey, you"
:cool:
girles have it good guys are ezey

Mrs.Racer277
12-19-2004, 08:07 AM
I only use the second five inches on Jen :D
:D :D LOL :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
Stop you're killing me here. Too early for all this laughing. BTW tell Jen I said Good Morning. Thanks

LUVNLIFE
12-19-2004, 08:09 AM
We'll do :)

Mrs.Racer277
12-19-2004, 08:11 AM
Thank you! :D

LUVNLIFE
12-19-2004, 08:18 AM
On second thought another pick up line that seemed to work well at the Christmas Party was I have $23 and a package of new socks :D

Mrs.Racer277
12-19-2004, 08:20 AM
On second thought another pick up line that seemed to work well at the Christmas Party was I have $23 and a package of new socks :D
So now you're letting everyone now how cheap I am. :eek: :wink:
I think it was the sock in the pants that did it. :rolleyes: :)

JetBoatRich
12-19-2004, 08:20 AM
On second thought another pick up line that seemed to work well at the Christmas Party was I have $23 and a package of new socks :D
She said it was well worth it :eek:

WUTWZAT
12-19-2004, 09:47 AM
Here is one of my favorites,
Lets say you and me grab a pizza and go back to my place and screw?
NO!!!! What do you have against pizza?
Never works but fun to say....
Jason

Desert Rat
12-19-2004, 10:12 AM
How about I have a ten and a half inch dick :D
Must be using one of those liar fisherman rulers.... You know the ones that say this is [----------------------------] six inches. Not that I have ever seen one mide you :cry: :D :D

UtlGoa
12-19-2004, 10:30 AM
Wanna share a condom? You take the outside, I'll take the inside.

ratso
12-19-2004, 10:37 AM
I may not have stolen your virginity, but can I have the box it came in?

topless
12-19-2004, 10:38 AM
I may not have stolen your virginity, but can I have the box it came in?That one is old.

Mrs.Racer277
12-19-2004, 10:44 AM
That one is old.
Check your PM's please. :D

IN2-IN2MX
12-19-2004, 11:44 AM
You can ask her, "You want a pizza and ****?" If she looks at you funny, just ask her,"What, you don't like pizza?"
Mike used this one on me! LOL
These are cracking me up! :D

repo man
12-19-2004, 12:09 PM
free sodomy, come on what do you have to loose, it's free.

Forkin' Crazy
12-19-2004, 12:28 PM
"Damn, bitch, you're stupid fly! Let me pull up to your bumper and smack that monkey!" Chirs Rock
Hey it worked for me! :rollside:

Lake Ape
12-19-2004, 12:30 PM
Try this one!
Nice Shoes wanna F*$K?
Works everytime!

Squirtin Thunder
12-19-2004, 12:33 PM
Mine works pritty good !!!
Lets go make a baby !!!!!
oopps thats how I ended up with one !!!
Merry Christmas
Jim

Mrs.Racer277
12-19-2004, 12:36 PM
Try this one!
Nice Shoes wanna F*$K?
Works everytime!
OMG LOL

topless
12-19-2004, 12:38 PM
OMG LOL
So, Thats how I landed my soon to be ex. :D

Lake Ape
12-19-2004, 12:39 PM
OMG LOL
That one always goes over big!
Nice Shoes Wanna F*@k?

Dr. Eagle
12-19-2004, 12:41 PM
I heard another one on a visit to my son's army residence at Ft. Hood. There were these guys living kitty corner in base housing and these two girls drove up. One of the guys said, "hey bitch, why don't you come inside, I got a nice size rock to smoke..." I couldn't believe my ears... on a US ARMY BASE :220v:

dtr352
12-19-2004, 06:40 PM
That shirt is very becoming on you,
If i was on you I'd be comin too
Do you wash your clothes in windex? Cause I can see myself in your pants.

atomickitn
12-19-2004, 07:57 PM
so as i was talking to this chik and very buzed i said nice to lick you , after she slaped me she asked me how long ohh about 5 foot 8 inches, :idea: