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View Full Version : RETIRING SOON, so I can tell this story now.



clownpuncher
01-11-2005, 12:57 AM
So I can now share this story. It's a long winded mother, but, I've had a few glasses of wine and I've been contemplating my iminent retirement from the FD.
You guys ever see the little helmet shaped stickers on the back windows of cars/trucks? The vehicle belongs to a fireman and it's representative of our Union or organization. It's pretty common for firemen to give these stickers to their girlfriends after a few dates and after it's a pretty sure thing that the relationship will last at least a few months.
After over a year of dating, Jayme (now my wife), asked me why I haven't given her a sticker after all this time. Coming from family full of cops and firemen, she didn't need ME to give her one, but, she wanted it from me. I decided to hold out for one reason. The reason? She always wanted a Porsche. My plan was to buy her a classic style 911 Carrera without her knowing, complete with fireman sticker on the back window upon delivery.
Well I found a great car This one in fact. 72,000 original miles and it belonged to a fireman so I know it was dialed.
http://www.***boat.com/image_center/data/500/536Untitled-1-med.jpg
http://www.***boat.com/image_center/data/520/536rear-med.jpg
I surprised her with her new car, complete with the all important sticker on the back window.
Turns out after a few miles of driving it she hated it worse than any car she'd ever had. Too small, didn't feel safe and "you really have to work at driving that thing". I love driving it cuz it's meant to drive, not pussyfoot around with. Not even CLOSE to being fast, but, fun to drive none-the-less.
Anyhow, back to the "I'm retiring soon so I can tell this story" story.
After a crazy-busy night at our restaurant, Jayme and I were trying to figure out how to get both cars home. She drove the truck there and I drove the Porsche. She'd had way more than the .08 limit of alcohol and didn't feel comfortable driving. No problem cuz I only had six vodkas and Red Bulls :hammerhea in an hour so I was fine. LOL. (for those of you that don't get the inside humor, sorry)
We dedided to leave the truck there and take the Porsche home. I had to promise to take the 2 miles of residential roads and not get on any city streets. In fact, don't ever shift out of 1st gear. I say "OK" As I'm driving home I decided "Hell, it's 4 am, not a sole in Palm Desert, open highway, why not?" So I say f'it and hit the main street.
Going up HWY 74 I managed to get to a good speed by the time we get to our turn, maybe a mile or 2 all uphill. Jayme started to freak (in a fun way, not pissed at this point) about the speed. I started to laugh "bwaaaahhaaaaaahhaaa!!" After a coupel of more turns we're about three houses from home. Jayme started to get pissed about the driving. I laughed again, "bwaaaaahhaaaahhhaaa."
Next thing I know is Jayme shoves the stick in neutral and yanked he e-brake. "I'M WALKING HOME!!!!!!" My good humor made me say out loud, "all three houses worth?" This was the turning point of Jayme getting a little irritated.
Remember back when we left the truck at the restaurant? Well, she drives that every day. She feels safe in that big-ol-thing, and quite frankly, she used to it. So used to it in fact that when she got out of the Porsche to walk home, she forgot just how low that thing is to the ground. The next sound I heard was keys and money being scattered all over our street. She'd fallen down upon her exit from the vehicle. Again I let out with a "bwaaaahaaahhhaaaaa". This was now the turning point of Jayme being irritated to being Fu%$ing pissed off!! She picked her keys up, left the money and started to walk home. I rolled the passeger window down and idled next to her. Saying all I could to make her smile. Nothing. I ****ed up. Damn.
We get to our driveway in about 30 seconds. I park the car and go inside where Jayme decides to let me have it. She verbally kicked my ass for 5 minutes straight. I deserved it, big time. After the 10th minute of licking my wounds I said "honey I'm really sorry. That was totally immature and disrespectful. I love you and would NEVER want to harm you. I'm sorry I scared you and laughed at you. I was stupid and will never do that again" Pretty good? Nah. She was PISSED!!! At this point I decided that I ain't gonna take this anymore. After all, I appologized already. I grab keys off the little counter by the front door and walk out of the house. Don't know where I was gonna go, but, I was gonna "BE A MAN" and not take this crap anymore. LOL
As I get to the driveway, I realize that I grabbed the keys to my department issued K-9 vehicle. Complete with identifying decals, light bar, siren etc.
http://www.***boat.com/image_center/data/500/536Untitled-3-med.jpg
Ain't NO WAY, NO HOW, I was gonna take this for a ride after all my Redbulls :wink: I look back, house door's already slammed shut and my pride refuses to let me go back inside. At least until I've "proven my point". :argue: Fockin A.
I say screw it. I'm gonna sleep in the back of the fire car. It's custom designed for the dog. Very similar to the Police Patrol K-9 units.
http://www.hotboatpics.com/pics/data/500/1081PDRM0003-med.jpg
If you look inside you'll notice that it's a relatively clean atmosphere, especially for a dog. Fully caged to prevent him from getting out/dirtbags from getting in, or chewing anything, with a slightly padded floor. The dog can't even get to the front seat unless I open a small sliding door between the two front seats. I always kept this little slider door closed.
So I get in the back of my unit and shut the doors. As I lay down and get all comfy, I replay the earlier events. Again, I chuckle. Don't know why,but, I found the whole thing funny.
As soon as I think of what "my point" is, I'm gonna go back in and let Jayme have it. While I'm thinking, I pass out.
About 30 minutes later I wake up. It's November, it's gotta be 50 degrees outside and I left the car windows open for the dog on our way home from work earlier in the day. After all, it's all caged and he cant' get out.
Being cold and having had a few beers earlier, I really had to pee. As I sit up and rub my eyes, I make a plan to take a leak in the bushes. I slide over to the door. Then it hit me........................................(scroll up and look inside the dog car again. See any interior door handles?)
"I CAN'T F'IN BELIEVE THIS!!!!!!" I'm trapped, literally, in the dog car. I say to myself, "no problem, I'll just piss out the window"
I take my pants down and do my best contortionist imitation I can. I tried to get on my knees and piss out the window, but, the roof was too short and I couldn't right myself enough. I tried to mash my face against the front cage while putting my leg on the rear cage, but that's only about a 24 inch span fornt to back. I managed to get my face on the cage and my foot on the rear cage, but my "nozzle" was still a good 30 inches away from the window. I couldn't stand the thought of spraying myself as the "old beer" splashed off window cage, so I nix that plan.
What to do? I haven't got CLUE at this point. All I know is I'm freezing, been drinking beer, I'm locked in this F'n ROLLING DOG HOUSE and I GOTTA PISS NOW. Especially after the 2 false starts on the flow, I REALLY HAD TO GO. Thank God I had my cell phone. I can just call Jayme and she'll come let me out. Shit.
I can see the light on in the house so I know Jayme is still awake.
I reluctantly make the call. Phone rings three times. Is she gonna F'ing answer or what?
She finally answers my call.
Jayme : "WHAT!!!"
Me: "Hi, honey?"
Jayme : "WHAT!!!!"
Me: "Hey uh, you think you can come outside for a minute?"
Jayme: "WHY!!!!"
Me: "Well, you think you can come out and let me out of the ................"
Jayme:"BWAAAAHAAAAHHAAAAAAAAAAA. You locked yourself in the dog car didnt' you?!?!.BWAAAHAAHHHAAAHHAAAA. You DUMB *&^&%^$*) I should leave your ass in there you &^*^&$$%@#$&.........BWAAAAAAHHAAAHAA"
Me: "Honey, I got to pee really bad. Please?"
Jayme: "I don't care if you piss your pants after ther waqy you drove. F"OFF!!!!
Next thing I know she's walkign out of the house with a big 'ol smile. She can't help but laugh at my pittyfull ass, stuck in the dog car.
Obviously she let me out, after a little teasing, and she still loves me.
To this day I still can't remember what "my point " was.

Rexone
01-11-2005, 01:06 AM
:D :D :D

cola
01-11-2005, 01:11 AM
Now that is some funny sh*t. :cool:
Late, Mike

essexjet
01-11-2005, 01:23 AM
Clownpuncher, when are you retirering? I work in your area and always asked if any knew you. My partner yesturday is a Res. with PSFD and said that you were out for a while. Would have liked to ran some calls with you. Take care. James

Outnumbered
01-11-2005, 01:27 AM
Good story :argue: :)

MudPumper
01-11-2005, 01:41 AM
Good story CP. :D Is the Fire K-9 a search and rescue type dog???? Never seen a Fire K-9 unit before.

XtrmWakeborder
01-11-2005, 01:48 AM
:D That was seriously the funniest thing i have ever heard on here i was rolling!

91nordic29
01-11-2005, 04:28 AM
that pretty much makes my week!!! :rollside:

Flying Tiger
01-11-2005, 05:02 AM
Great story.
If I've found out anything in dealing with chicks, let them talk.
It's the "Ms Pac Man rule." Let it run, Evenually they get it outta their system.
It's going to be a long time 'till ya quit hearing about this CP I reckon.

RiverOtter
01-11-2005, 05:02 AM
Great story! Thanks for sharing :cool:

my olds
01-11-2005, 05:28 AM
Thanks for sharing, that was funny :D

Mrs.Racer277
01-11-2005, 05:31 AM
That was a terrific it story. Thank you. :D :D

JetBoatRich
01-11-2005, 06:08 AM
LMAO :D one of the funniest I ever read :2purples: with no point

1978 Rogers
01-11-2005, 06:19 AM
Good story. Your wife should have taken a picture of you behind the bars. :D

BarryMac
01-11-2005, 06:21 AM
:D Clownpuncher, that is a great story, I looked at the picture of the car doors three times just imagaining you in there holding back your wizz, I have to agree with the others that your story is one of the best that I've read on these boards... :D :D

redneckgirl
01-11-2005, 06:32 AM
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/10/10_9_141.gif ('http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008_ZS')
RNG

hot_diggity_dog
01-11-2005, 06:37 AM
Classic :wink: :D
HDD :cool:

ahhell
01-11-2005, 06:43 AM
nothing like a good laugh in the morning...great story :p

kp216
01-11-2005, 07:11 AM
Good story. Your wife should have taken a picture of you behind the bars. :D
Exactly what I was thinking. That would have been icing on the cake!http://www.conservationcafe.com/graemlins/rotfl.gif http://www.conservationcafe.com/graemlins/rotfl.gif

Rock-A-Bye-Baby
01-11-2005, 07:34 AM
That story made my morning!! Vewy vewy funny.

boxscore
01-11-2005, 07:38 AM
If I come over will you hump my leg?
Great story... I've got to make it over to El Paseo.
Hope to see you soon.

texasrebel123
01-11-2005, 07:41 AM
As a K-9 officer myself I can only imagine you in the cage and sympathize, but on the other hand thats some funny sh*t!!!!!! :smile: :cry: :smile:

OGShocker
01-11-2005, 07:50 AM
HOLY SHITE! ROFLMAO!!!! Thanks for the laugh Roland!
:D :chi: :D :chi: :D :chi:

Kilrtoy
01-11-2005, 08:24 AM
That lends a whole new hand to being in the dog house. :D

RP1
01-11-2005, 08:27 AM
Good one. Kinda shoots a hole in the answer to the question "what is your point" though :D

phebus
01-11-2005, 08:27 AM
Clownpuncher, what is the story behind your upcoming retirement? I hope it is by choice. I am facing my second back surgery, and I'm not sure if I'll be allowed to return or not. I am labeled a "liability" regardless of the outcome, and will have to jump some hurdles to return. Not really ready to go yet, and would like to hear your story.

Mrs. Restless22
01-11-2005, 08:28 AM
That has got to be one of the best stories Ive read!! LMAO!!!! :D

Forkin' Crazy
01-11-2005, 08:36 AM
LMAO!!!! :D :D :D Thanks!!!! :rollside:

Artv
01-11-2005, 09:28 AM
That was good, thanks for sharing.

jbtrailerjim
01-11-2005, 09:29 AM
That is too funny. Thanks for sharing and giving me a good laugh this morning. :D :D

ACCEPTENCE
01-11-2005, 09:44 AM
CP
Way cool story man.
Wify and self rollin on the floor!!! It's good to laugh out loud!!!
Retire from the Dept. and do stand up, you'd be good at it ;)
I can only imagine that story in person.

Her454
01-11-2005, 09:53 AM
OMG, this story ranks right up there with the dog on the launch ramp story............thanks Clownpuncher! :D :D :D

FMluvswater
01-11-2005, 10:34 AM
Thank-you for sharing that CP! :D From the picture of the dog car I knew where it was going! Admitting you're wrong takes guts .... showing evidence of how wrong you were well that's just heroic! :cool: I didn't just get a chuckle from your recounting of events ... it had aww factor too ... reality love is heartwarming. :) You and Jayme are both so lucky and I've a feeling you both know it too. :cool:

clownpuncher
01-11-2005, 10:51 AM
Glad y'all got a chuckle. It really is a lot more funny in person, while drinking beer.
Clownpuncher, when are you retirering? I work in your area and always asked if any knew you. My partner yesturday is a Res. with PSFD and said that you were out for a while. Would have liked to ran some calls with you. Take care. James
Don't know when, but, soon. My knee and lungs are kinda tweeked. I wanna retire while I'm still relatively healthy.
Good story CP. Is the Fire K-9 a search and rescue type dog???? Never seen a Fire K-9 unit before.
Yup. I trained to him locate live human scent. We were on a specialized team to resond to disasters. He's already retired as of July 1st, 2004.
Clownpuncher, what is the story behind your upcoming retirement? I hope it is by choice. I am facing my second back surgery, and I'm not sure if I'll be allowed to return or not. I am labeled a "liability" regardless of the outcome, and will have to jump some hurdles to return. Not really ready to go yet, and would like to hear your story.
Not really by choice. My rt knee has had 2 operations in 8 years and my lungs are tweeked. Workers comp is a joke. They give a rats ass about re-habing the employee. I'm gonna be 43 in a couple of weeks. Still young enough to enjoy retirement from the FD.
OMG, this story ranks right up there with the dog on the launch ramp story............thanks Clownpuncher!
I GOTTA hear this one. Give it up :D

RexRathburn
01-11-2005, 10:54 AM
LMAO...that's the funniest story I've read in a long time! :) :rollside:

tamalewagon
01-11-2005, 10:55 AM
Now I know why your buddies will always tell you to "exercise in futility" when you get married.

Froggystyle
01-11-2005, 11:21 AM
OMG, this story ranks right up there with the dog on the launch ramp story............thanks Clownpuncher! :D :D :D
My thoughts exactly. These two stories go #1 and #2 respectively right now.
Sorry Roland, the launch ramp story has you beat by quite a bit!
Now, if you had been humped by the K-9 unit while in this situation... clear winner!

a catered life
01-11-2005, 11:34 AM
so let me get this right was it beers or vodka and red bull? lol funny ass story :2purples:

Ziggy
01-11-2005, 11:48 AM
Don't we all have a story or two like that somewhere in the closet? Funny shit Roland :D :D .....odd thing was as soon as you said you were gonna sleep in the dog cage area I had the feeling what your predicament was gonna be :220v: At least you didn't make any illegal turns in front of LE on those RedBulls ;)
So the big question is who drives the Porsche now? :p

Sleek-Jet
01-11-2005, 11:50 AM
OMG, this story ranks right up there with the dog on the launch ramp story............thanks Clownpuncher! :D :D :D
We haven't seen that one in a while...
So here you go.... posted by EricinNV a long time ago:
Damn! I can’t believe somebody deleted it. I wish I would of hard copied it because this is rather lengthy. It won’t be word for word as the original post, but you’ll get the gist. I only hope it lives up to all the hoopla.
It was the summer of ’78 and I was 19 years old. My folks had a vacation home at Lakeside subdivision (up Rio Vista rd from Riverside Drive) Parker, AZ. I was helping my dad remodel the detached garage into an apartment and was making a dump run for him. I had a black lab named Nasty. He went with me everywhere and the dump was no exception. My old pick up didn’t have AC and in the midday summer heat, we were both suffering. On the way back from the dump, Old Nasty was really panting and whining, so I stopped at the launch ramp at Riverside drive and Cienega Springs. There is no beach there, just a launch ramp. It was mid week and no one around, so I pull up close to the water and let Nasty out for a swim. I shucked off my boots and shirt and jumped in with my Levis on to join him. It didn’t take long for the cool Colorado River to change our attitudes and before anytime at all, Nasty was rejuvenated and acting like a pup. He was out of the water, racing back and forth along the water line of the launch ramp. I was coming out of the water at the north side of the ramp, along a block wall, in waist deep water, when I hit a real mossy patch of concrete. I lost my footing and slipped back into the water. I regained my footing, but the going was slow. It seemed I couldn’t find any way out of the slimy stuff. I made it to about knee deep water and was afraid I’d slip and bust my ass on the concrete, so I got down on all fours and started to crawl out. By this time, Nasty had noticed my antics and was intently watching me from shore. As I was almost out of the water, he came up to me, nose to nose, in the dominant male stance with his tale flagged. I said “Don’t you bite me you sonofabitch”! cuz he had that look in his eye. He then walked past me to the “I smell your butt, you smell mine” dog ritual position. I then figured enough of this game and went to crawl out of the water, but that bastard already grabbed a hold and mounted me. I was trying to elbow him and was yelling every command to get him to turn me loose, but he had his dew claws stuck into my belly (learned what those are for the hard way-pun intended) and was humping away like a mad dog. I was furious with Nasty and swore I’d kill him when I got loose. About this time I hear a horn honk. I look up and see a boat had backed down the ramp to launch. Towing it was a pickup truck, the bed loaded with little kids who were all gawking at me. The guy driving has his head hanging out the window and hollers “Whenever you two are done”!

tamalewagon
01-11-2005, 12:13 PM
We haven't seen that one in a while...
So here you go.... posted by EricNV a long time ago:
LMAO!!! Two great stories...

redi4fun
01-11-2005, 12:22 PM
:p
Why is it that the funniest stories I have read on here always have something to do with dog? You have a good women there clownpuncher.
She could have played you for a sucker big time.
I somehow cannot stop imagining her putting on a jacket, rolling down the back windows and driving the truck down a long bumpy road. All the while you are in the back seat wimpering ready to piss your pants. :cry: The thought of this makes me laugh.
One lucky man indeed!!!! :smile:

Keithb87
01-11-2005, 12:36 PM
Thanks for the laugh.. :coffeycup :D

HCS
01-11-2005, 12:46 PM
Pretty funny stories. My wife probably wouldn't have been so kind. Probably would have had to pee my pants.
The dog on the launch ramp is a crack up. Nothing like being helpless.

Midlife Advantage
01-11-2005, 01:01 PM
So I can now share this story. It's a long winded mother, but, I've had a few glasses of wine and I've been contemplating my iminent retirement from the FD.
You guys ever see the little helmet shaped stickers on the back windows of cars/trucks? The vehicle belongs to a fireman and it's representative of our Union or organization. It's pretty common for firemen to give these stickers to their girlfriends after a few dates and after it's a pretty sure thing that the relationship will last at least a few months.
After over a year of dating, Jayme (now my wife), asked me why I haven't given her a sticker after all this time. Coming from family full of cops and firemen, she didn't need ME to give her one, but, she wanted it from me. I decided to hold out for one reason. The reason? She always wanted a Porsche. My plan was to buy her a classic style 911 Carrera without her knowing, complete with fireman sticker on the back window upon delivery.
Well I found a great car This one in fact. 72,000 original miles and it belonged to a fireman so I know it was dialed.
http://www.***boat.com/image_center/data/500/536Untitled-1-med.jpg
http://www.***boat.com/image_center/data/520/536rear-med.jpg
I surprised her with her new car, complete with the all important sticker on the back window.
Turns out after a few miles of driving it she hated it worse than any car she'd ever had. Too small, didn't feel safe and "you really have to work at driving that thing". I love driving it cuz it's meant to drive, not pussyfoot around with. Not even CLOSE to being fast, but, fun to drive none-the-less.
Anyhow, back to the "I'm retiring soon so I can tell this story" story.
After a crazy-busy night at our restaurant, Jayme and I were trying to figure out how to get both cars home. She drove the truck there and I drove the Porsche. She'd had way more than the .08 limit of alcohol and didn't feel comfortable driving. No problem cuz I only had six vodkas and Red Bulls :hammerhea in an hour so I was fine. LOL. (for those of you that don't get the inside humor, sorry)
We dedided to leave the truck there and take the Porsche home. I had to promise to take the 2 miles of residential roads and not get on any city streets. In fact, don't ever shift out of 1st gear. I say "OK" As I'm driving home I decided "Hell, it's 4 am, not a sole in Palm Desert, open highway, why not?" So I say f'it and hit the main street.
Going up HWY 74 I managed to get to a good speed by the time we get to our turn, maybe a mile or 2 all uphill. Jayme started to freak (in a fun way, not pissed at this point) about the speed. I started to laugh "bwaaaahhaaaaaahhaaa!!" After a coupel of more turns we're about three houses from home. Jayme started to get pissed about the driving. I laughed again, "bwaaaaahhaaaahhhaaa."
Next thing I know is Jayme shoves the stick in neutral and yanked he e-brake. "I'M WALKING HOME!!!!!!" My good humor made me say out loud, "all three houses worth?" This was the turning point of Jayme getting a little irritated.
Remember back when we left the truck at the restaurant? Well, she drives that every day. She feels safe in that big-ol-thing, and quite frankly, she used to it. So used to it in fact that when she got out of the Porsche to walk home, she forgot just how low that thing is to the ground. The next sound I heard was keys and money being scattered all over our street. She'd fallen down upon her exit from the vehicle. Again I let out with a "bwaaaahaaahhhaaaaa". This was now the turning point of Jayme being irritated to being Fu%$ing pissed off!! She picked her keys up, left the money and started to walk home. I rolled the passeger window down and idled next to her. Saying all I could to make her smile. Nothing. I ****ed up. Damn.
We get to our driveway in about 30 seconds. I park the car and go inside where Jayme decides to let me have it. She verbally kicked my ass for 5 minutes straight. I deserved it, big time. After the 10th minute of licking my wounds I said "honey I'm really sorry. That was totally immature and disrespectful. I love you and would NEVER want to harm you. I'm sorry I scared you and laughed at you. I was stupid and will never do that again" Pretty good? Nah. She was PISSED!!! At this point I decided that I ain't gonna take this anymore. After all, I appologized already. I grab keys off the little counter by the front door and walk out of the house. Don't know where I was gonna go, but, I was gonna "BE A MAN" and not take this crap anymore. LOL
As I get to the driveway, I realize that I grabbed the keys to my department issued K-9 vehicle. Complete with identifying decals, light bar, siren etc.
http://www.***boat.com/image_center/data/500/536Untitled-3-med.jpg
Ain't NO WAY, NO HOW, I was gonna take this for a ride after all my Redbulls :wink: I look back, house door's already slammed shut and my pride refuses to let me go back inside. At least until I've "proven my point". :argue: Fockin A.
I say screw it. I'm gonna sleep in the back of the fire car. It's custom designed for the dog. Very similar to the Police Patrol K-9 units.
http://www.hotboatpics.com/pics/data/500/1081PDRM0003-med.jpg
If you look inside you'll notice that it's a relatively clean atmosphere, especially for a dog. Fully caged to prevent him from getting out/dirtbags from getting in, or chewing anything, with a slightly padded floor. The dog can't even get to the front seat unless I open a small sliding door between the two front seats. I always kept this little slider door closed.
So I get in the back of my unit and shut the doors. As I lay down and get all comfy, I replay the earlier events. Again, I chuckle. Don't know why,but, I found the whole thing funny.
As soon as I think of what "my point" is, I'm gonna go back in and let Jayme have it. While I'm thinking, I pass out.
About 30 minutes later I wake up. It's November, it's gotta be 50 degrees outside and I left the car windows open for the dog on our way home from work earlier in the day. After all, it's all caged and he cant' get out.
Being cold and having had a few beers earlier, I really had to pee. As I sit up and rub my eyes, I make a plan to take a leak in the bushes. I slide over to the door. Then it hit me........................................(scroll up and look inside the dog car again. See any interior door handles?)
"I CAN'T F'IN BELIEVE THIS!!!!!!" I'm trapped, literally, in the dog car. I say to myself, "no problem, I'll just piss out the window"
I take my pants down and do my best contortionist imitation I can. I tried to get on my knees and piss out the window, but, the roof was too short and I couldn't right myself enough. I tried to mash my face against the front cage while putting my leg on the rear cage, but that's only about a 24 inch span fornt to back. I managed to get my face on the cage and my foot on the rear cage, but my "nozzle" was still a good 30 inches away from the window. I couldn't stand the thought of spraying myself as the "old beer" splashed off window cage, so I nix that plan.
What to do? I haven't got CLUE at this point. All I know is I'm freezing, been drinking beer, I'm locked in this F'n ROLLING DOG HOUSE and I GOTTA PISS NOW. Especially after the 2 false starts on the flow, I REALLY HAD TO GO. Thank God I had my cell phone. I can just call Jayme and she'll come let me out. Shit.
I can see the light on in the house so I know Jayme is still awake.
I reluctantly make the call. Phone rings three times. Is she gonna F'ing answer or what?
She finally answers my call.
Jayme : "WHAT!!!"
Me: "Hi, honey?"
Jayme : "WHAT!!!!"
Me: "Hey uh, you think you can come outside for a minute?"
Jayme: "WHY!!!!"
Me: "Well, you think you can come out and let me out of the ................"
Jayme:"BWAAAAHAAAAHHAAAAAAAAAAA. You locked yourself in the dog car didnt' you?!?!.BWAAAHAAHHHAAAHHAAAA. You DUMB *&^&%^$*) I should leave your ass in there you &^*^&$$%@#$&.........BWAAAAAAHHAAAHAA"
Me: "Honey, I got to pee really bad. Please?"
Jayme: "I don't care if you piss your pants after ther waqy you drove. F"OFF!!!!
Next thing I know she's walkign out of the house with a big 'ol smile. She can't help but laugh at my pittyfull ass, stuck in the dog car.
Obviously she let me out, after a little teasing, and she still loves me.
To this day I still can't remember what "my point " was.
Oh God, I am Laughin my ASS off! at my desk, people are walking by knowing I am looking at internet stuff, but that is funny right there!

mbrown2
01-11-2005, 01:52 PM
Pretty funny stuff....maybe you can just go by the name CLOWN at this point...j/k. :rollside: :) :rollside:
Been there done that....just don't have a K9 vehicle or might have been as bad...

24ROD
01-11-2005, 01:58 PM
That's some funny chiat :D

Her454
01-11-2005, 02:25 PM
I GOTTA hear this one. Give it up :D
Well thanks to Sleek Jet I didnt have to recite it by memory as I could not have done it justice. As Froggy and some others mentioned, it is a ***boat Classic and makes me laugh every time I read it..........
Thanks Clownpuncher and ERICinNV.

Slider
01-11-2005, 02:26 PM
Thats some funny s-hit.

clownpuncher
01-12-2005, 02:46 AM
We haven't seen that one in a while...
So here you go.... posted by EricinNV a long time ago:
Thanks Sleekjet and EricinNV!!! :D Knowing dogs the way I do, this story has me rolling. I can picture it in my mind......Funnny shit!!!! :D