Tips for good living.

[Mandelon]

You know those things you learn over your life. Those little lessons that make your day go better. What if everybody knew them?
Share something you've learned. As I think of them, I will keep adding. Then we can print this and give it to stupid people so they can catch on. STuff like this:
Don't park in the middle of the launchramp.
Start your boat before you unhook it from the trailer.
If you have to take a dump, put some paper on the water first, it can help prevent splashback..... :rolleyes:
When you are in right lane, and you come to a light.....hug the left side, so I can still turn right and not have to wait for the light to turn green for you to move your inconsiderate ass out of my way.
Things like that.

[Perfect Mixer]

If your not passing, get out of the fast lane!

[upsman105]

shave at night during the summer, you'll get less rash.

[Phat Matt]

Messy desk. Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like you're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.

[Phat Daddy]

If your towing a trailer in California, you can only be in the #3 or 4 lane.

[dtr352]

Just because you have a 100 people in your car doesn't mean you can go fourty five in the carpool lane.
If you drive slow I don't care as long as I can drive fast in front of you.
If my dually fits in the parking spot your little honda will too. Try a little harder.
No wake zones are for jetskis too.
Men and women should both be able to launch the boat and drive the truck but despite what you may think Saturday morning memorial day weekend is not the best time for lessons.
If I am kind enough to tow you to the marina and break a ski rope in the process offer to pay for it.
When a bunch of people wave at you as they loock into their open engine hach offer to help. Next time it may be you.
Don't be stupid. Stupid

[Goldilocks]

If you have to take a dump, put some paper on the water first, it can help prevent splashback.....
Thanks. I'll keep this one in mind :rolleyes: :)

[dtr352]

http://www.scarysquirrel.org/special/movies/foamy/rant1.html

[shueman]

Remember it's a Launch Ramp, not a load up the boat ramp, not a check the battery ramp, not a wait for the others to walk down ramp, etc.

[dtr352]

Keep on skiing in Topoc Gourge. Soon there will be less of you.
Don't eat your food then complain that it was cold when the bill comes.
Don't give advice on something you don't understand.
Forget what they tell you in drivers ed. If someone tailgates you for god sakes let them pass.

[AirtimeLavey]

Don't get on the freeway doin 45!!! :mad:
Jets don't turn when you're off the throttle!!! :hammerhea
Men can't read womens' minds!!! :messedup:

[Roman 1]

You know those things you learn over your life. Those little lessons that make your day go better. What if everybody knew them?
Share something you've learned. As I think of them, I will keep adding. Then we can print this and give it to stupid people so they can catch on. STuff like this:
Don't park in the middle of the launchramp.
Start your boat before you unhook it from the trailer.
If you have to take a dump, put some paper on the water first, it can help prevent splashback..... :rolleyes:
When you are in right lane, and you come to a light.....hug the left side, so I can still turn right and not have to wait for the light to turn green for you to move your inconsiderate ass out of my way.
Things like that.
Very good post...
The idiots that block half the ramp while loading their shit....then ask you for a jumpstart because they left their boat untouched all winter and the battery's dead... Get the F@#K out of my way retards!!! :220v: :)
R1

[Tom Brown]

Never look directly at a laser with your remaining eye.

[upsman105]

Men don't understand when women being suttle, if you want something say it.

[bigerich]

No matter how cool you think you are, the rules apply to us all equally......
If you have a $2,500 boat or a $250,000 boat, wakeless speed is for all of us.
You have to wear a PFD on a PWC, even if you are a real "rad dude".
Driving is a skill, some people have that skill, other people don't.
Don't wipe your eyes after handling jalepenos.

[EricPhilbin]

Two things I've learned:
People driving slower than you are idiots, those driving faster than you are maniacs.
And,
Handicap people cant (and therefore shouldn't) drive. Or park...oh dont get me started on the handicap parking. The white lines apply to ALL OF US. Just because you get the extra half spot next to you for the vans that have the side loading wheelchair ramps, doesn't mean you get to park half cocked in it. Oh, and fat/old/laziness shouldn't count as handicap. Why to these leeches on society get to park right by the door while I have to walk my happy ass halfway accross the parking lot? You know what, handicap people just should stay off the roads, PERIOD!

[AirtimeLavey]

Two things I've learned:
People driving slower than you are idiots, those driving faster than you are maniacs.
And,
Handicap people cant (and therefore shouldn't) drive. Or park...oh dont get me started on the handicap parking. The white lines apply to ALL OF US. Just because you get the extra half spot next to you for the vans that have the side loading wheelchair ramps, doesn't mean you get to park half cocked in it. Oh, and fat/old/laziness shouldn't count as handicap. Why to these leeches on society get to park right by the door while I have to walk my happy ass halfway accross the parking lot? You know what, handicap people just should stay off the roads, PERIOD!
But...how do you really feel?

[ROZ]

Two things I've learned:
People driving slower than you are idiots, those driving faster than you are maniacs.
And,
Handicap people cant (and therefore shouldn't) drive. Or park...oh dont get me started on the handicap parking. The white lines apply to ALL OF US. Just because you get the extra half spot next to you for the vans that have the side loading wheelchair ramps, doesn't mean you get to park half cocked in it. Oh, and fat/old/laziness shouldn't count as handicap. Why to these leeches on society get to park right by the door while I have to walk my happy ass halfway accross the parking lot? You know what, handicap people just should stay off the roads, PERIOD!
Are you a postal worker? :D

[ROZ]

Don't try to squeeze out that last little fart, ya might shit your pants...

[AirtimeLavey]

Don't try to squeeze out that last little fart, ya might shit your pants...
I HATE when that happens!!! :2purples:

[EricPhilbin]

I think the correct saying is: "Never trust a fart."

[switchin'addiction]

Handicap people cant (and therefore shouldn't) drive. Or park...oh dont get me started on the handicap parking. The white lines apply to ALL OF US. Just because you get the extra half spot next to you for the vans that have the side loading wheelchair ramps, doesn't mean you get to park half cocked in it. Why to these leeches on society get to park right by the door while I have to walk my happy ass halfway accross the parking lot? You know what, handicap people just should stay off the roads, PERIOD!
You are a f ucking asshole!! God help you if someone in your family ever becomes handicapped!!

[shueman]

Keep on skiing in Topock Gorge. Soon there will be less of you.
Don't eat your food then complain that it was cold when the bill comes.
Don't give advice on something you don't understand.
Forget what they tell you in drivers ed. If someone tailgates you for god sakes let them pass.
Good Ones....!!

[BarryMac]

Don't try to squeeze out that last little fart, ya might shit your pants...
Now that is some funny shit (literaly) right there, called the gamble and lose theory, don't gamble because your probably going to lose.
When posting on HB from work make sure your in Stealth Mode, that way you wont get caught.

[Kachina26]

If you have to take a dump, put some paper on the water first, it can help prevent splashback..... :rolleyes:
Well, I don't have to leave the house today as I've learned something new.
Don't try to explain launch ramp courtesy to a drunk, they won't get it.

[Mandelon]

When the cat wants in during the middle of the night, and its really dark, take the time to make sure he isn't bringing in the bloody half eaten carcass of some mostly dead animal. One that may crawl around on your expensive off white carpet. Oh yeah, it happened. :hammer2:
You can shave the back of your neck too. You don't have to wait for the barber to do it.... :supp:

[BarryMac]

If you eats a teaspoon of Peanut Butter it will get rid of the Hiccups...
Don't wack-off with Shampoo, when you pee it will hurt like a MoFO...

[Tom Brown]

Don't wack-off with Shampoo, when you pee it will hurt like a MoFO...
It helps to slow down the stroke rate to cut back on the foaming. You definitely want to keep the foam away from the tip.

[Jbb]

It helps to slow down the stroke rate to cut back on the foaming. You definitely want to keep the foam away from the tip.
Some people call you the Space Cowboy....... :2purples:

[Tremor Therapy]

Always take other people's advice with a grain of salt! :hammerhea

[RP1]

When at all possible... be prepared and organized.

[phebus]

Well, I don't have to leave the house today as I've learned something new.
Don't try to explain launch ramp courtesy to a drunk, they won't get it.
Huh? :D

[phebus]

If you wake up with a hangover, don't spend much time on ***boat. It makes your headache worse when your eyes are pointing in two different directions.... :messedup:

[ECeptor]

"friend" and "coworker" are mutually exclusive titles. Can't be one and be the other...

[Clown Midgets]

Orange juice and Jack daniels arent a good mix :yuk: :yuk:

[Mandelon]

Having sex with relatives can get you in trouble... :messedup:

[billet racing]

Relax and smell the wine,..... then gulp it down.

[CornWater]

If your not passing, get out of the fast lane!
AMEN!!!! :hammer2:

[Rock-A-Bye-Baby]

Talk less and listen more.
If you see me, toss me the shocker. If you see my wife, don't.
If you can drink a case of beer in a day, you can party. If you drink a case a beer a day, you're a drunk.
Be prepared. That includes: firing up your boat before you leave your house. If the battery is dead, it will be a lot cheaper and easier to fix than if your are backed down the ramp.

[Mrs. Bordsmnj]

Don't cook bacon naked. Those dang little bacon splatters hurt! :eek:

[RP1]

never fish off the company peer.

[phebus]

God gave you two ears, and one mouth......So, you should listen twice as much as you talk.

[syke-o]

Measure twice, cut once

[Captain Dan]

Never argue with an idiot. People will forget who is who.

[ROZ]

never fish off the company peer.
Is that like never dip your pen in company ink? ;) :D

[ROZ]

You can shave the back of your neck too. You don't have to wait for the barber to do it.... :supp:
FLOBEE!!!! :D

[phebus]

Never make the mistake of accidently asking a fat girl when she is due.

[ROZ]

Never play beat the redlight when the intersection is photo enforced

[AirtimeLavey]

Check your fly.. :sqeyes:

[ratso]

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer...

[lurid]

Keep your wife happy it makes your life easier

[ratso]

Keep your wife happy it makes your life easier
How do you do that??? :notam:

[lurid]

I did not say I was able to do it ALL the time, but I try and amke the effort. the effort gets me brownie points

[switchin'addiction]

Amen to that.

[Tom Brown]

How do you do that??? :notam:
Every night when you arrive home, come through the door licking.

[AZKC]

Give it a little extra shake when going comando in tan pants :jawdrop:

[ROZ]

Every night when you arrive home, come through the door licking.
Front door, back door, or both? :confused:

[callbob4homes]

ugly people should not breed :yuk:
just cause a thong looks hot on that chick...doesn't mean it will on you.
and if you have to ask...."does this suit make my ass look fat?"...........enough said there

[Desert Rat]

Don't wipe your eyes after handling jalepenos.
Or handle your Johnson!!!!!! :cry:

[Clown Midgets]

"What comes around goes around" :boxed:

[lurid]

Turn fuel on before kicking bike over and over

[callbob4homes]

If you can't walk and chew gum and have to talk with your hands....................GET OFF THE F@CKING PHONE WHEN YOU ARE DRIVING. :hammerhea

[AirtimeLavey]

Don't ever visit a site called ***boat.com/forums. You'll lose all sense of time and never be productive or free again... :messedup: :mix:

[OutCole'd]

Don't eat the yellow snow.

[OutCole'd]

Don't talk with you're mouth full & keep it full.

[jackpunx]

if you want to get rid of someone ... Loan them money..
If someone owes you money... be gratefull.. it only cost that much to get them out of your life..
this is a great thread! :smile:

[lurid]

when drinking....remember how big of lift your buddies truck has before you step out and fall on your Arse

[jackpunx]

when drinking....remember how big of lift your buddies truck has before you step out and fall on your Arse
Lmao.. you dont know how many times that has happened.. I should keep a vid camera going when I drop people off..

[lurid]

take porn out of DVD player

[Clown Midgets]

Carry extra Toilet Paper in your car if your going to eat mexican food in TN :notam:

[ROZ]

take porn out of DVD player
Adding to that:
Clear computer history after viewing porn.....

[OutCole'd]

Always use cash to pay at the Oriental massage parlors.

[ROZ]

Carry extra Toilet Paper in your car if your going to eat mexican food in TN :notam:
Didn't know they had Mexican food in Tn.

[djunkie]

When you use the last of the toilet paper please replace the roll. Nothing worse than realizing it after you have sat down.

[AZKC]

Are you sure you put your plug in your boat :cool:

[lurid]

make sure some a**hole has not opened your black water valve on your RV or toyhauler before you remove the cap

[FMluvswater]

When you spend some time composing a long post .... highlight and copy it and also use the preview button before clicking submit/add reply. :(

[lurid]

make sure wife your is out of ear shot before making a comment about her bitchy or shitty mood

[JB in so cal]

Always use cash to pay at the Oriental massage parlors.
You like-y big finish or, maybe happy ending...

[Mandelon]

If you wear a necktie, tuck it in before eating lunch. Don't put it over your shoulder or you will look like a dork. Just tuck it into your shirt between the buttons.
And don't get your necktie caught in the papershredder....that's dangerous. :220v: :220v:

[BarryMac]

Make sure after you leave a message on your home phone that the reciever is hung up, especially if your talking with a buddy about how bad you wanna do a hot chick...
Yeap, did it, what a dumb ass I am...

[coolchange]

It just doesn't matter.
The things that are really important we have no control over.
Life changes in a heartbeat, it can come in a blinding flash of insanity, or in the soft whisper of a few words.

[SHAKEN Not Stirred]

Turn your headlight's off when your down the ramp loading or unloading your boat.....The rest of us would like to see something, other than your lights, while we're backing down......