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View Full Version : FM...something happened this weekend...



HammerDown
01-30-2005, 09:16 PM
And it wasn't pretty... :notam:

FMluvswater
01-30-2005, 09:41 PM
And it wasn't pretty... :notam:
OMG NO! :2purples: How? :confused: Details please.
Your http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v56/FMluvswaterbabe/HDforever.gif forever :D ,

HammerDown
01-31-2005, 11:29 PM
Ok, so first off I started my day with low carb pancakes...this act alone gets things, well let's say....flowing :notam:
We've been having some artic temps here in the SE Pa. area...you'll see how this comes into play shortly.
Im taking a nice early morning drive from Philly Pa to Atlantic City NJ...on the AC Expressway. Now mind you it's just a 4 lane freeway divided by trees that cut's throught the state with nothing but pine-lands EVERYWHERE...and thats it, nothing more. Sooooo along mile marker 33 I get this un-easy gurgle down south of my border :squiggle: . And I say to myself...(self) this ain't gonna be pretty. :crossx: With my fingers crossed and running about 75 mph and trying to keep my cool...I gently tilt myself to the right, graciously lift my left cheek and (carefully) purge (with out fecal juice) some of the nastiest rectal air I've ever produced ...actually if I may say, I was somewhat proud of this deadly gas! :rollside:
Well...I did get a few moments of relief from the pressure bubbling in my stink pickle factory...but it wasn't to last ...no-sir.
Once again the the churning started! I knew I would have to take a nature walk into the woods with my trusted WetNaps in tote. Not a problem as I've done this hundreds of times...BUT...something was going to be different this time, yes very different.
As usual, I keep a container of "Lemon" scented WetNaps near by and at the ready...after all this is me were talking about...right! Their ALWAYS in my vehicle along with a rusty old can of fix-a-flat.
We just had a beautiful fresh snow fall, so this made me feel even better about the deed I had to do. I scanned the roadside for a suitable place to pull over and begine my search for the perfect tree to lean back upon. It was a touching moment...me and mother nature the fresh white snowfall. But little did I know what she had instore for Hammer! :eat:
After pulling over...I walked, and walked deeper and deeper into to woods, I had to because the trees were barren and offered very little in the way of privacy for me to do my doo. Finally I came upon the tree...the tree that would let me excape from the torment and torture caused by those cursed low carb pancakes...and what ever mess they were producing deep within. I tell ya I felt like the Alien was about to explode from within!
Ok, so back to the tree, ya know it can't be any ole tree...but a special tree...one I can bond with, one that allows me to feel special, and I found it. :rolleyes:
If I may continue...
So there I am, about 100 yards off the highway, in the snow with my (Lemon scented) WetNaps getting ready to drop trow. Nothing is around but the 3 of us...mother nature (who held her nose) me, and my WetNaps. Down come the pants and I lean back against the tree, I'm looking around waiting...taking in all the beauty....THEN...with a mighty GURGLE comes a.... explosion :eek: ...a Tsunami of shit and gas and steam and noise and debris cam out of my donut hole like I've never seen before! I think Mother Nature herself closed up shop and hi-taled it outta there...birds took flight...wild animals ran for the hills (think I killed a squirrel)... And what I did to that poor tree....oh-my!
So, after a few moments of rectal release...I took a deep breath, I felt good. I looked down at my trusty WetNaps, and knew the pleasure giving and blissful wipe was about to wash away all that nasty horror that just took place...eeewwww!
WetNap in hand, pants down around my ankles...and do-do everywhere I grasp the container, rip off the pop-top and go to pull out my first fresh lemon scented moist towelette.
Here's where my nightmare begins. :notam:
My WetNaps were.........FROZEN SOLID.... Like a lemon scented brick!
I couldn't get it to budge, not a one, not even a little piece! Turns out they had froze up solid the night before in my vehicle. In a panic I didn't know what to do...I've never been let down by my WetNaps before, after all they were my friend. A hundred yards from my vehicle I couldn't very well go wadeling back with my pants down around my ankles and my ass carpet caked with warm dookey lookin for a napkin...there were no leaves anywhere, nothing! There I was... stuck in the woods with my pants down and a pile of warm steamy dookie at my feet...with nothing to wipe with...not to mention my willy was getting cold :cry:
Well...I had to do what I had to do...and let me tell ya, there ain't nothing
that will open one's eye's like wiping your ass with a SNOWBALL :2purples:
Mother Nature had her laugh...I herd her as I walked back to my vehicle, F'in bitch.

Phat Matt
01-31-2005, 11:49 PM
Where's the pics? :yuk:

Kindsvater Flat
01-31-2005, 11:52 PM
And to think you're a moderator.....

HammerDown
01-31-2005, 11:56 PM
Where's the pics? :yuk:
I belive National Geographic is sending a research team out to the location. :D

HammerDown
01-31-2005, 11:57 PM
And to think you're a moderator.....
And why Im loved by all...right FM. :D

Kilrtoy
01-31-2005, 11:57 PM
The only thing sicker than that story, is the fact that i read it in all of its glory

Phat Matt
01-31-2005, 11:59 PM
I belive National Geographic is sending a research team out to the location. :D
Is it NG or HazMat? :D

Tom Brown
02-01-2005, 12:19 AM
...wiping your ass with a SNOWBALL :2purples:
That is refreshing as hell after a chili shit. :cool:
Great story, HD. :)

FMluvswater
02-01-2005, 01:38 AM
Ok, so first off I started my day with low carb pancakes...this act alone gets things, well let's say....flowing :notam:
[snip] there ain't nothing
that will open one's eye's like wiping your ass with a SNOWBALL :2purples:
Mother Nature had her laugh...I herd her as I walked back to my vehicle, F'in bitch.
LMFAO! :D Oh my poor stalkee! :D I'm so sorry for your traumatic experience HammerDown really I am and yet omg you really got me laughing with that anecdote! :D How the hell are you gonna protect your WetNaps from freezing in the future (ASSuming you don't want any more snowballs kissing your ass! LOL! :wink: ) should you ever need to commune with nature under similar circumstances again?! :idea: :D
Your http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v56/FMluvswaterbabe/HDforever.gif forever :D ,

FMluvswater
02-01-2005, 01:39 AM
And why Im loved by all...right FM. :D
Right. :D :cool:
Your http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v56/FMluvswaterbabe/HDforever.gif forever :D ,

FMluvswater
02-01-2005, 01:41 AM
The only thing sicker than that story, is the fact that i read it in all of its glory
Well I'll accept some of the responsibility for the story ... I did ask him for details and he couldn't refuse me! :D

Infomaniac
02-01-2005, 05:44 AM
In my best Chong voice "Hey I've done that man, but they were unscented man"

lucky
02-01-2005, 06:37 AM
I Always Carry A Extra Pair Of Socks !

Garrddogg
02-01-2005, 06:42 AM
wholy sh1tsicle batman!

HammerDown
02-01-2005, 06:43 AM
LMFAO! :D Oh my poor stalkee! :D How the hell are you gonna protect your WetNaps from freezing in the future (ASSuming you don't want any more snowballs kissing your ass! LOL! :wink: ) should you ever need to commune with nature under similar circumstances again?! :idea: :D
Your http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v56/FMluvswaterbabe/HDforever.gif forever :D ,
Well...how's a (WetNap-Warmer) sound? (Tom your thoughts)
Kinda like a beer coozy but it would plug into the cigarette lighter of your vehicle. A warm wipe could just be the ticket!
And true, when she calls...I can never refuse my cupcake FM . :rollside:

Debbolas
02-01-2005, 06:44 AM
Perhaps some anit freeze (just a little) poured into the wetnaps container......but that might damage your ass :2purples:

switchin'addiction
02-01-2005, 06:56 AM
Coming from another "sick" male mind........that was great!! ROTFLMAO!! :D

Coleitis22
02-01-2005, 07:39 AM
Bet the chicks really liked that story :idea:
Maybe you can get it on film next time.
Market it as "Turdinator II" :jawdrop: :jawdrop:

TheLurker
02-01-2005, 08:40 AM
Ok, so first off I started my day with low carb pancakes...this act alone gets things, well let's say....flowing :notam:
We've been having some artic temps here in the SE Pa. area...you'll see how this comes into play shortly.
Im taking a nice early morning drive from Philly Pa to Atlantic City NJ...on the AC Expressway. Now mind you it's just a 4 lane freeway divided by trees that cut's throught the state with nothing but pine-lands EVERYWHERE...and thats it, nothing more. Sooooo along mile marker 33 I get this un-easy gurgle down south of my border :squiggle: . And I say to myself...(self) this ain't gonna be pretty. :crossx: With my fingers crossed and running about 75 mph and trying to keep my cool...I gently tilt myself to the right, graciously lift my left cheek and (carefully) purge (with out fecal juice) some of the nastiest rectal air I've ever produced ...actually if I may say, I was somewhat proud of this deadly gas! :rollside:
Well...I did get a few moments of relief from the pressure bubbling in my stink pickle factory...but it wasn't to last ...no-sir.
Once again the the churning started! I knew I would have to take a nature walk into the woods with my trusted WetNaps in tote. Not a problem as I've done this hundreds of times...BUT...something was going to be different this time, yes very different.
As usual, I keep a container of "Lemon" scented WetNaps near by and at the ready...after all this is me were talking about...right! Their ALWAYS in my vehicle along with a rusty old can of fix-a-flat.
We just had a beautiful fresh snow fall, so this made me feel even better about the deed I had to do. I scanned the roadside for a suitable place to pull over and begine my search for the perfect tree to lean back upon. It was a touching moment...me and mother nature the fresh white snowfall. But little did I know what she had instore for Hammer! :eat:
After pulling over...I walked, and walked deeper and deeper into to woods, I had to because the trees were barren and offered very little in the way of privacy for me to do my doo. Finally I came upon the tree...the tree that would let me excape from the torment and torture caused by those cursed low carb pancakes...and what ever mess they were producing deep within. I tell ya I felt like the Alien was about to explode from within!
Ok, so back to the tree, ya know it can't be any ole tree...but a special tree...one I can bond with, one that allows me to feel special, and I found it. :rolleyes:
If I may continue...
So there I am, about 100 yards off the highway, in the snow with my (Lemon scented) WetNaps getting ready to drop trow. Nothing is around but the 3 of us...mother nature (who held her nose) me, and my WetNaps. Down come the pants and I lean back against the tree, I'm looking around waiting...taking in all the beauty....THEN...with a mighty GURGLE comes a.... explosion :eek: ...a Tsunami of shit and gas and steam and noise and debris cam out of my donut hole like I've never seen before! I think Mother Nature herself closed up shop and hi-taled it outta there...birds took flight...wild animals ran for the hills (think I killed a squirrel)... And what I did to that poor tree....oh-my!
So, after a few moments of rectal release...I took a deep breath, I felt good. I looked down at my trusty WetNaps, and knew the pleasure giving and blissful wipe was about to wash away all that nasty horror that just took place...eeewwww!
WetNap in hand, pants down around my ankles...and do-do everywhere I grasp the container, rip off the pop-top and go to pull out my first fresh lemon scented moist towelette.
Here's where my nightmare begins. :notam:
My WetNaps were.........FROZEN SOLID.... Like a lemon scented brick!
I couldn't get it to budge, not a one, not even a little piece! Turns out they had froze up solid the night before in my vehicle. In a panic I didn't know what to do...I've never been let down by my WetNaps before, after all they were my friend. A hundred yards from my vehicle I couldn't very well go wadeling back with my pants down around my ankles and my ass carpet caked with warm dookey lookin for a napkin...there were no leaves anywhere, nothing! There I was... stuck in the woods with my pants down and a pile of warm steamy dookie at my feet...with nothing to wipe with...not to mention my willy was getting cold :cry:
Well...I had to do what I had to do...and let me tell ya, there ain't nothing
that will open one's eye's like wiping your ass with a SNOWBALL :2purples:
Mother Nature had her laugh...I herd her as I walked back to my vehicle, F'in bitch.
Well,
We have our first offical entry in both the Best and Most Funniest post catagory's for the 2005 ***boat Post off awards.
That was too dam funny

Tahiti350
02-01-2005, 09:58 AM
Holy Crap Hammerdown!!!! You could have warned us...... :yuk:
I started reading that to the Mrs.T. and had to stop so I could get my laughter under control. :) :cry: :rollside: :smile:
The bad thing is I have been in a similar situation, In the woods, no wipes, and had to use leaves, unfortunately the only thing within reach was BLACKBERRY bushes. Let me tell you, you have to watch which side of those you use!!!!! :crossx: :220v: :cry:

1978 Rogers
02-01-2005, 10:21 AM
A role of paper towels are the way to go. You always need something to wipe off your hands incase the first towel tears while wiping down under. Not good. :mad:

HammerDown
02-01-2005, 10:31 AM
Holy Crap Hammerdown!!!! You could have warned us...... :yuk:
Well I did kinda, in my first post > "and it wasn't pretty"
Plus you should know what to expect from (me) by now... :D

Wet Dream
02-01-2005, 10:34 AM
Well,
We have our first offical entry in both the Best and Most Funniest post catagory's for the 2005 ***boat Post off awards.
That was too dam funny
I'll second that. His stories are few and far between, but when they make it to print, they worth the reading. :D

Unforgiven
02-01-2005, 11:10 AM
Ok, so first off I started my day with low carb pancakes...this act alone gets things, well let's say....flowing :notam:
We've been having some artic temps here in the SE Pa. area...you'll see how this comes into play shortly.
Im taking a nice early morning drive from Philly Pa to Atlantic City NJ...on the AC Expressway. Now mind you it's just a 4 lane freeway divided by trees that cut's throught the state with nothing but pine-lands EVERYWHERE...and thats it, nothing more. Sooooo along mile marker 33 I get this un-easy gurgle down south of my border :squiggle: . And I say to myself...(self) this ain't gonna be pretty. :crossx: With my fingers crossed and running about 75 mph and trying to keep my cool...I gently tilt myself to the right, graciously lift my left cheek and (carefully) purge (with out fecal juice) some of the nastiest rectal air I've ever produced ...actually if I may say, I was somewhat proud of this deadly gas! :rollside:
Well...I did get a few moments of relief from the pressure bubbling in my stink pickle factory...but it wasn't to last ...no-sir.
Once again the the churning started! I knew I would have to take a nature walk into the woods with my trusted WetNaps in tote. Not a problem as I've done this hundreds of times...BUT...something was going to be different this time, yes very different.
As usual, I keep a container of "Lemon" scented WetNaps near by and at the ready...after all this is me were talking about...right! Their ALWAYS in my vehicle along with a rusty old can of fix-a-flat.
We just had a beautiful fresh snow fall, so this made me feel even better about the deed I had to do. I scanned the roadside for a suitable place to pull over and begine my search for the perfect tree to lean back upon. It was a touching moment...me and mother nature the fresh white snowfall. But little did I know what she had instore for Hammer! :eat:
After pulling over...I walked, and walked deeper and deeper into to woods, I had to because the trees were barren and offered very little in the way of privacy for me to do my doo. Finally I came upon the tree...the tree that would let me excape from the torment and torture caused by those cursed low carb pancakes...and what ever mess they were producing deep within. I tell ya I felt like the Alien was about to explode from within!
Ok, so back to the tree, ya know it can't be any ole tree...but a special tree...one I can bond with, one that allows me to feel special, and I found it. :rolleyes:
If I may continue...
So there I am, about 100 yards off the highway, in the snow with my (Lemon scented) WetNaps getting ready to drop trow. Nothing is around but the 3 of us...mother nature (who held her nose) me, and my WetNaps. Down come the pants and I lean back against the tree, I'm looking around waiting...taking in all the beauty....THEN...with a mighty GURGLE comes a.... explosion :eek: ...a Tsunami of shit and gas and steam and noise and debris cam out of my donut hole like I've never seen before! I think Mother Nature herself closed up shop and hi-taled it outta there...birds took flight...wild animals ran for the hills (think I killed a squirrel)... And what I did to that poor tree....oh-my!
So, after a few moments of rectal release...I took a deep breath, I felt good. I looked down at my trusty WetNaps, and knew the pleasure giving and blissful wipe was about to wash away all that nasty horror that just took place...eeewwww!
WetNap in hand, pants down around my ankles...and do-do everywhere I grasp the container, rip off the pop-top and go to pull out my first fresh lemon scented moist towelette.
Here's where my nightmare begins. :notam:
My WetNaps were.........FROZEN SOLID.... Like a lemon scented brick!
I couldn't get it to budge, not a one, not even a little piece! Turns out they had froze up solid the night before in my vehicle. In a panic I didn't know what to do...I've never been let down by my WetNaps before, after all they were my friend. A hundred yards from my vehicle I couldn't very well go wadeling back with my pants down around my ankles and my ass carpet caked with warm dookey lookin for a napkin...there were no leaves anywhere, nothing! There I was... stuck in the woods with my pants down and a pile of warm steamy dookie at my feet...with nothing to wipe with...not to mention my willy was getting cold :cry:
Well...I had to do what I had to do...and let me tell ya, there ain't nothing
that will open one's eye's like wiping your ass with a SNOWBALL :2purples:
Mother Nature had her laugh...I herd her as I walked back to my vehicle, F'in bitch.
pics would just do wonders for your story

Ziggy
02-01-2005, 11:15 AM
Hammer is causing the atmosphere to deplete. Must be true, I heard it on the news last night.....the O-zone depleted spot they were talking about :p :p
Crack up story HD... :smile:

FMluvswater
02-01-2005, 07:05 PM
Well...how's a (WetNap-Warmer) sound? (Tom your thoughts)
Kinda like a beer coozy but it would plug into the cigarette lighter of your vehicle. A warm wipe could just be the ticket!
And true, when she calls...I can never refuse my cupcake FM . :rollside:
The idea is good HammerDown but I think it needs some tweaking. :idea: Alcohol has a lower freezing point, yes? Evaporates in air somewhat readily ... :idea: I'll put my Google bitch to work on it :D and get back to you if I find anything worth sharing. :cool:
**giggling** he called me cupcake again. :redface: :D You're a good man HammerDown. :cool:
Your http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v56/FMluvswaterbabe/HDforever.gif forever :D ,

Debbolas
02-01-2005, 07:38 PM
The idea is good HammerDown but I think it needs some tweaking. :idea: Alcohol has a lower freezing point, yes? Evaporates in air somewhat readily ... :idea: I'll put my Google bitch to work on it :D and get back to you if I find anything worth sharing. :cool:
**giggling** he called me cupcake again. :redface: :D You're a good man HammerDown. :cool:
Your http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v56/FMluvswaterbabe/HDforever.gif forever :D ,
You don't like my anti freeze idea? :smile:

FMluvswater
02-01-2005, 08:01 PM
You don't like my anti freeze idea? :smile:
Well like you said it might hurt the sensitive area ... alcohol would hurt too but if there was pause enough the stinging stuff would evaporate before the wiping commenced ... see where my thought train was heading? :D :idea:

HammerDown
02-01-2005, 08:04 PM
Perhaps some anit freeze (just a little) poured into the wetnaps container......but that might damage your ass :2purples:
Trust me Deb...it can't damage (my) ass...MY ass is what does the damage! :D

Debbolas
02-01-2005, 08:10 PM
I'm thinking about a "clean lemon scented wipe" product for folks in the cold North with a tiny bit of anitfreeze or vodka or everclear in it :wink:

FMluvswater
02-01-2005, 08:13 PM
I'm thinking about a "clean lemon scented wipe" product for folks in the cold North with a tiny bit of anitfreeze or vodka or everclear in it :wink:
Too bad you can't test your idea it doesn't get cold enough where you are although you presumably DO have a freezer? :idea: :D

Debbolas
02-01-2005, 08:15 PM
Too bad you can't test your idea it doesn't get cold enough where you are although you presumably DO have a freezer? :idea: :D
Yep, and electricity too!!! :D I'm not worried about the vodka freezing, I'm concerned about the vodka's affect on the tushy :rollside:
(doesn't this sound like a bench racer topic.............lol :cool: )

FMluvswater
02-01-2005, 08:19 PM
Yep, and electricity too!!! :D I'm not worried about the vodka freezing, I'm concerned about the vodka's affect on the tushy :rollside:
(doesn't this sound like a bench racer topic.............lol :cool: )
LOL! That would make the user a drunk ass?! :D
I don't venture into Bench Racers unless I hear that HOSS's son was just born. :wink: :D Oh and to check on Eminem's fan club in there. :cool:

Debbolas
02-01-2005, 08:21 PM
LMDAO(laughing my drunk ass off) :D
Good one!!!
So maybe a banana scented moisten wipe :D

HammerDown
02-01-2005, 08:21 PM
I'm thinking about a "clean lemon scented wipe" product for folks in the cold North with a tiny bit of anitfreeze or vodka or everclear in it :wink:
:idea: Ya know Deb, you could be onto something here...and as myself I like your drive a desire to make EVERY wipe a pleasant one. :rollside:
Contact FM, as she's VP of WWWU (World Wide Wipers United)...she'll get you inducted, I belive we could use you on our team of "ass wipes". :wink:
A position that go's far...like a good wipe!

Debbolas
02-01-2005, 08:22 PM
lol
We can call it "Drunken Ass Wipes" :idea:

HammerDown
02-01-2005, 08:23 PM
Too bad you can't test your idea it doesn't get cold enough where you are although you presumably DO have a freezer? :idea: :D
FM said..."DO".... thats my butter cup. ;)

FMluvswater
02-01-2005, 08:34 PM
LMDAO(laughing my drunk ass off) :D
Good one!!!
So maybe a banana scented moisten wipe
I don't know about venturing away from lemon scented :idea: ... did you read about the peach scented fiasco? :2purples:
Ya know Deb, you could be onto something here...and as myself I like your drive a desire to make EVERY wipe a pleasant one.
Contact FM, as she's VP of WWWU (World Wide Wipers United)...she'll get you inducted, I belive we could use you on our team of "ass wipes". :wink:
A position that go's far...like a good wipe!
Oh she's inducted already just by participating in the discussion! :D :cool:
FM said..."DO".... thats my butter cup. ;)
Of course I did. We speak the same language. :cool:
HammerDown's http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v56/FMluvswaterbabe/HDforever.gif forever :D ,

Debbolas
02-01-2005, 08:44 PM
I'm just thinking about saving money, the banana scent comes from the liquor...... :cool:

HammerDown
02-01-2005, 08:55 PM
I'm just thinking about saving money,
I tryed the save money deal *ONCE*...off brand Peach scented WalMart Wipes :notam: .
FM...think Deb missed that story...maybe ya better go dig in your file and post it here.

MudPumper
02-01-2005, 09:02 PM
Hammer, let me tell you, this is by far the funniest damn story I've ever read. Seriously, I was in tears and could barely get the words out while I was reading this outloud to my girlfriend, because I was laughing uncontrolably. I can really appreciate a good shit story, let me tell you. Thanks, I needed that. If you don't mind I will be emailing this to some buddies who are notorious for having similar problems.

FMluvswater
02-01-2005, 09:13 PM
I tryed the save money deal *ONCE*...off brand Peach scented WalMart Wipes :notam: .
FM...think Deb missed that story...maybe ya better go dig in your file and post it here.
Will do. :cool:
Your http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v56/FMluvswaterbabe/HDforever.gif forever :D ,

HammerDown
02-01-2005, 09:14 PM
Hammer, let me tell you, this is by far the funniest damn story I've ever read. Seriously, I was in tears and could barely get the words out while I was reading this outloud to my girlfriend, because I was laughing uncontrolably. I can really appreciate a good shit story,
Dear Brother Mud...I suggest you contact my VP. (FM) and have her bring my other "true" dukie stories to your attention for reading pleasure.

FMluvswater
02-01-2005, 09:29 PM
Dear Brother Mud...I suggest you contact my VP. (FM) and have her bring my other "true" dukie stories to your attention for reading pleasure.
gross but funny (http://www.***boat.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=31303)
please see Post #26 (http://www.***boat.com/forums/showthread.php?t=59480)
Your http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v56/FMluvswaterbabe/HDforever.gif forever :D ,

Brooski
02-01-2005, 10:16 PM
gross but funny (http://www.***boat.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=31303)
please see Post #26 (http://www.***boat.com/forums/showthread.php?t=59480)
Your http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v56/FMluvswaterbabe/HDforever.gif forever :D ,
You guys are killin me. I am ROFLMFAO. The things you learn on these boat message boards.

Huckleberry
02-02-2005, 04:55 AM
No this is some funny chit!!! I think I would have torn off my chonies and used them before freezing my butt spokes with a snowball.

HOSS
02-02-2005, 05:15 AM
I actually read that. You should have used your socks, shirt, something, but ICE? I `m sick for discussing this. That was phuckin` nasty. :crossx:

FMluvswater
02-03-2005, 05:56 PM
You don't like my anti freeze idea? :smile:
Deb I went looking for answers and here's what someone on another forum told me ...
If you keep them in your pants pocket instead of a jacket pocket it pretty much keeps them thawed.
Don't use the anti-freeze idea. You can absorb anti-freeze through your anus. Anti-freeze poisoning causes paralysis, breathing difficulties, and painful seizures.
So HammerDown I beg to differ that your ass can't be damaged. I forbid you to add anti-freeze to your wetnaps! :D A smaller travel packet in your pocket ... that you could do, yes? :idea:
Some other info I got which may be of better use to you, HammerDown ...
i don't know how you'd keep them from freezing, but he could probably un-freeze them by putting them on the floor of the car and turning on the heater, making sure that it's coming out of the floor vent. as long as he did this as soon as he got in the car, they'd probably be melted by the time he needed to use them, assuming he doesn't get into the car with the need to poop already present.
i think the only other option would be to not keep them in car during cold winter months, and just bring them with him when he needs to go somewhere. of course, that leaves the possibility of forgetting them at home and ending up really needing them.
This person obviously doesn't understand about wetnaps .. I mean come on ... not keep them in the car? WTF? :notam: The heater/floor vent idea well it's for you to decide if that is feasible or not.
As entertaining as it is for us all when these incidents happen to you and you share them in detail, HammerDown ... I wouldn't like for you to experience that twice in a lifetime .. snowball indeed! :2purples: :D
HammerDown's http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v56/FMluvswaterbabe/HDforever.gif forever :D ,

HammerDown
02-03-2005, 08:09 PM
INFLAMEDDDDDDD ASS or BUTT RASH! makes ya all walk funny :D :lightsabe
I call it my John Wayne shuffle.

FMluvswater
11-29-2005, 11:34 PM
Bumping for WYRD. :wink:

Cheap Thrills
09-24-2007, 12:49 AM
While we're on the subject. A Hammer Down Home run Classic :D
Bada bing bada bump
T.