PDA

View Full Version : New Classes For Men



Her454
02-16-2005, 10:21 AM
NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!!!
Starting next month !!
Note: Due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept
a maximum of eight participants each. Sign up early and get a discount on registration.
1. HOW TO FILL ICE-CUBE TRAYS.
Step by step with slide presentation.
2. TOILET PAPER: DOES IT GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion.
3. DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE LAUNDRY BASKET AND THE FLOOR.
Practicing with hamper. Pictures and graphics.
4. THE AFTER-DINNER DISHES AND SILVERWARE: DO THEY LEVITATE AND FLY INTO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES? Debate among panel of experts.
5. LOSS OF VIRILITY: LOSING THE REMOTE CONTROL TO YOUR
SIGNIFICANT OTHER.
Helpline and support groups.
6. LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS, STARTING WITH LOOKING IN THE
RIGHT PLACE INSTEAD OF TURNING THE HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN WHILE SCREAMING.
Open forum.
7. HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH.
PowerPoint presentation.
8. REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST.
Real-life testimonial from the one man who did.
9. IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL
PARKS?
Driving simulation.
10. LIVING WITH ADULTS: BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR WIFE.
Role playing.
11. HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION.
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques
12. REMEMBERING BIRTHDAYS, ANNIVERSARIES, OTHER IMPORTANT DATES AND CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE.
Bring your calendar or PDA to class.
13. GETTING OVER IT. LEARNING TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME.
Individual counselors available.

Jordy
02-16-2005, 10:38 AM
NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!!!
Starting next month !!
Note: Due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept
a maximum of eight participants each. Sign up early and get a discount on registration.
1. HOW TO FILL ICE-CUBE TRAYS.
Step by step with slide presentation.
It's called an automatic ice maker. Do we men have to teach you everything???
2. TOILET PAPER: DOES IT GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion.
FYI leaving 2 sheets doesn't constitute not using the last and thereby negate your responsibility either. Same thing with the paper towels.
3. DIFFERENCES BETWEEN THE LAUNDRY BASKET AND THE FLOOR.
Practicing with hamper. Pictures and graphics.
If you'd do the laundry every now and then the basket wouldn't be over flowing onto the floor.
4. THE AFTER-DINNER DISHES AND SILVERWARE: DO THEY LEVITATE AND FLY INTO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES? Debate among panel of experts.
Subtitled in an alternate class for the women: That dishwasher isn't going to empty itself. Merely adding detergent and pushing the button doesn't constitute doing the dishes.
5. LOSS OF VIRILITY: LOSING THE REMOTE CONTROL TO YOUR
SIGNIFICANT OTHER.
Helpline and support groups.
Subtitled: What do you need a remote control in the kitchen and laundry room for?
6. LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS, STARTING WITH LOOKING IN THE
RIGHT PLACE INSTEAD OF TURNING THE HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN WHILE SCREAMING.
Open forum.
Subtitled: I knew where everything was until you started rearranging my house in an effort to change me. :D
7. HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH.
PowerPoint presentation.
Flowers die. Wouldn't you prefer jewelery or fake plants you can't kill? :D
8. REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST.
Real-life testimonial from the one man who did.
One man? Not hardly, especially if he asked for directions. Pansy ass. :D
9. IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL
PARKS?
Driving simulation.
Subtitled: Yes, you do need to leave your name, number and insurance information if you're going to park on someone's car like that. :D
10. LIVING WITH ADULTS: BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR WIFE.
Role playing.
I guess I can skip this class as I don't have either. :D
11. HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION.
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques
Subtitled: Do we really have to hit every store in the mall 4 times???
12. REMEMBERING BIRTHDAYS, ANNIVERSARIES, OTHER IMPORTANT DATES AND CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE.
Bring your calendar or PDA to class.
Alternate class: Planning ahead. Find a girl who has a birthday on valentine's day or marry her on her birthday (if you really want to go down that road), or even better, find a girl who has a Valentine's birthday and marry her on Valentine's. One day to remember. Finding a Happy Valentine's Birthday Anniversary card might be kind of a bitch, but hey, it's 2 less days to worry about. :D
13. GETTING OVER IT. LEARNING TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME.
Individual counselors available.
I'm laughing to hard to even type a response to this one. :D :cry: :D

Jordy
02-16-2005, 10:40 AM
NOTE: If I am posting on ***boat after 2/15/2005 it is ONLY because its an emergency and I HAVE TO.
This is an emergency??? :D :D :D

topless
02-16-2005, 11:12 AM
This is an emergency??? :D :D :D
Of course it is. She is just trying to be helpful. :)

Her454
02-16-2005, 11:14 AM
This is an emergency??? :D :D :D
ROTFLMAO..............YES it is. I knew you MEN needed this information.

Jordy
02-16-2005, 11:16 AM
ROTFLMAO..............YES it is. I knew you MEN needed this information.
You'll notice that I took some liberties with your emergency information to make it more accurate. :D

Unforgiven
02-16-2005, 11:20 AM
Traci, #7 #8 do they really have a class for that...I THOUGHT THAT WAS A GIVEN?

Her454
02-16-2005, 11:24 AM
You'll notice that I took some liberties with your emergency information to make it more accurate. :D
YEs and it was hilarious.........too much insight tho. :rollside:
Traci, #7 #8 do they really have a class for that...I THOUGHT THAT WAS A GIVEN?
#7 is something every man should know................#8 is TRUE. :D

lucky
02-16-2005, 11:24 AM
that was funny jordy :smile:
tampons - 101
just cause they have wings doen't mean they fly out of the bathroom - emty the garbage when your done -
garbage 102
taking the garbage out doesn't constitue putting it in my clean garage - open the dam door and the lid and hide it in that green cylinder thingy
laundry 103
buying new clothes because you ran out - is not a good reason !
cooking 104
I don't care if it was alive at one time , just fry it ! i'm gonna die someday anyway's
bedding 105
do we really need 15 pillows on our bed ?
communication 106
nagging is not a civil conversation
children 107
we did our job ( lmao ) now do yours
well if this don't get me in trouble ..... :notam: :boxingguy :coffeycup :notam:

superdave013
02-16-2005, 11:29 AM
a guy would have to be really pu$$y whipped to take one of those classes. Let alone all of them. :rolleyes:

Her454
02-16-2005, 11:31 AM
that was funny jordy :smile:
tampons - 101
just cause they have wings doen't mean they fly out of the bathroom - emty the garbage when your done -
garbage 102
taking the garbage out doesn't constitue putting it in my clean garage - open the dam door and the lid and hide it in that green cylinder thingy
laundry 103
buying new clothes because you ran out - is not a good reason !
cooking 104
I don't care if it was alive at one time , just fry it ! i'm gonna die someday anyway's
bedding 105
do we really need 15 pillows on our bed ?
communication 106
nagging is not a civil conversation
children 107
we did our job ( lmao ) now do yours
well if this don't get me in trouble ..... :notam: :boxingguy :coffeycup :notam:
ROTFLMAO................... :rollside: