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View Full Version : Has anyone here had an ex wife........



vegasriverjunkie
03-07-2005, 08:08 AM
So the other day my ex who I share two kids with, callled me the other day to actually borrow some money. I must have been her last resort but she does have a man that lives with her.Why can't she ask him, do you think he would approve. I think he's just a chump who's insecure about me. I do pay her child support but I already paid her in advance all the way till September because she needed some extra money. It just seems the more I make the more she wants. I've already ask to just have my daughter live with me, my son already does. It just seems she just uses the money to support more of herself. All I know is if the tables were turned she could not afford to pay me child support. This is just me venting a little but just wanted your thoughts on this personal matter.......

boxscore
03-07-2005, 08:21 AM
Does she gamble?

THATJEFFGUY
03-07-2005, 08:23 AM
I must have been her last resort but she does have a man that lives with her.
Tell your ex she's now the "chumps" responsibility...not yours ! If he can't afford her, it's not your problem. And if the money is for something that your daughter needs, that's what child support is for. Luckily I don't have an ex but my wife does, and I'd love for that $hitbag to call and ask to borrow money from me ! :D

promod
03-07-2005, 08:28 AM
yeah they think the grass is greener on the other side but then they find out that it has to be mowed as well then its to late some of them are just f$cking nuts and some are the best

MagicMtnDan
03-07-2005, 08:30 AM
Hopefully you're not going to enable her by giving her anything :boxed:

mondorally
03-07-2005, 08:59 AM
yeah they think the grass is greener on the other side but then they find out .....
that its Astro-turf!!!
Justin

mtndewdrops
03-07-2005, 09:06 AM
I try to avoid my EX at all cost...thought I saw her at the drug store one day and I did a U-Turn and hauled ass out of there....whew :skull:
That sucks when the child support goes to the parents and they spend it on themselves...selfish bastards. You probably have to buy your kids clothes too.
I wouldn't give her anymore advances... :yuk:

Brady Bunch
03-07-2005, 09:08 AM
I have custody of my son and daughter, the ex pays $0 child support and has had the nerve to ask to borrow money from me when she had them one weekend..... :hammerhea
Go back to court and get your daughter too............ :(

riverracerx
03-07-2005, 09:43 AM
Yes, these are them:
http://riverracerx.com/regatta/talent/images/DSC00203.jpg

Blown509Liberator
03-07-2005, 09:50 AM
oK....Interesting subject. I am in kinda the same situation. with my kids living Arrangements. I have a 2 daughters with my ex. One lives with me and one with her. I to pay a minimal child support and help out with extras, like medical bills, school stuffÂ….. More I think about it the more it makes me mad I am paying anything to her. With me fully supporting one of my two. Am I unreasonable to think I should not be paying her anything? we do not have a child support order and everything we have done for the last 5 yrs has been just agreed opon ( not wanting to line more layers wallets ) She is making more money a year than I do. Just looking to see if I am off base here or not. I know that things are different from state to state and I am in Illinois....
MikeW

Red Eye
03-07-2005, 09:59 AM
If you paid thru Sep, then why does she need more money??? It seems obvious that she's blowing it on other things. Someone else mentioned to go back to court and custody for both... that seems like a good idea to me. If that happens, you won't be supporting you ex with whatever she does anymore. Good Luck.

topless
03-07-2005, 10:15 AM
This is a VERY sore subject for me. I do believe that if one lives with you and one with her, the support should be NONE. However, my ex owes 140,000.00 in back support. I know I will never get it but he keeps trying to get me to sign a waiver to dismiss it all. That is something I won't do due to the fact that this is for my children. I'm not one to get MY nails or hair done. I don't buy myself new things. The money I get is for things my kids need. I don't go out much and I have never asked him for anything except child support. He on the other hand has asked me for money. (what a joke) He now has 2 more children so he wants child support reduced. I have agreed to reduce it twice already. Why is it that people just can't be responsible for their actions? :mad: :mad:

boatnam2
03-07-2005, 10:25 AM
i just pay mine with 6 months or so of post dated checks,that way i dont have to see her plus she cant blow all the money at once.

TwinMach26DCB
03-07-2005, 10:39 AM
Don't we all have a story here...... Pay and be thankful that YOU'RE not the poor sucker that has to sleep with her... And know that the other guy IS jealous of you, and should be....

WYRD
03-07-2005, 11:57 AM
There is a reason that Divorces cost so much...................................Cause they are F***ing worth it!!! Cut her off my brother. Don't pay her a dime more that you agreed to and don't pay it early and NEVER NEVER give her CASH always a check that says this is for CHILD SUPPORT!! Just my .02 from my Xperience with my 2 exes!!!

Ziggy
03-07-2005, 12:01 PM
ARG! A sore subject for me too...but one that is in the past for me now.
My ex did everything the courts told her not to do yet I paid thru the nose while she sat around a collected Welfare on top of it.
Never was late or missed paying her yet the State treated me as though I was the crook...What a F'ed up system here in Caifornia :burningm: I asked for accounting to where she spends the money on my son to no avail, mainly because I had to buy him new clothes, shoes, haircuts, basically everything each time he was with me.
Thankfully, after some years she couldn't (more like didn't) deal with my son and decided he could live with me.........actually, it came down that way because the welfare bene for him was ending...
.
So, if you have paid all that you are due to pay her don't give her an extra penny for her sake. Takers will continue to take as long as you are giving or dumb enough to keep giving to HER. If your child needs something, go get it for her together.

Mahaskier
03-07-2005, 12:42 PM
Sorry to hear all that, I've never understood all the crap that takes place during and after divorce's. I always said if I got a divorce it would not be like that.
So my ex put me to the test and divorced me. I have two kids and a house in Corona.
I moved into an apartment, taking only my cloth's and started over again, This was by choose. I gave her the house as she is the primary care giver of my children, and she gave me my retirement.
My total divorce cost 3 g's. We worked everything out between the two of us. Today we are very good friends and I like that. I still pay her more then I have too, but it's for the kids and I don't mind, It's short term.
I still leave my boat at the house, which is a sore spot for her but I told her if I had to pay to store it it would come out of her support, hense it's still at the house.
Everyone try to bite the bullet and get along it's easier.

SB
03-07-2005, 12:45 PM
In general, if you're not getting killed on support payments, and you can afford it, go ahead and give. However, in your case, either don't give or make it an advance support payment.

Her454
03-07-2005, 01:00 PM
If it's not going to your kids and you KNOW it, then dont pay it. Leave it as it is. If you continue to hand money to her, she will continue to ask........... I dont get child support and I never have. I make enough money to support my daughter alone and Im lucky. I don't harass my ex for child support as I know I'll never get it and its not worth the hassle. In fact, I paid child support this last year while she was with him and the courts could have cared less that he owed me over 75K in back child support. It was where the child lived at the time and what was best for her in the courts eyes and thats all the matters but I guarantee you she didn't see a penny of it. Im sure it all went up his nose.
And yes, he's asked ME for money in the past - he didn't get it. :notam:

Havasu_Dreamin
03-07-2005, 01:04 PM
He now has 2 more children so he wants child support reduced. I have agreed to reduce it twice already. Why is it that people just can't be responsible for their actions? :mad: :mad:
You're a lot nicer than I would be if I were in that situation. Tell him to go pound sand!

Sane Asylum
03-07-2005, 01:15 PM
This is a VERY sore subject for me. I do believe that if one lives with you and one with her, the support should be NONE. However, my ex owes 140,000.00 in back support. I know I will never get it but he keeps trying to get me to sign a waiver to dismiss it all. That is something I won't do due to the fact that this is for my children. I'm not one to get MY nails or hair done. I don't buy myself new things. The money I get is for things my kids need. I don't go out much and I have never asked him for anything except child support. He on the other hand has asked me for money. (what a joke) He now has 2 more children so he wants child support reduced. I have agreed to reduce it twice already. Why is it that people just can't be responsible for their actions? :mad: :mad:
Screw the money.....Who would ever leave boat candy like you..... :confused: :D :D

Liberator TJ1984
03-07-2005, 01:18 PM
I pay child support on my boy ( 8 ) and the few times my EX has asked for more money I send it thru the Attourney Generals office by Check or Money order..this way if I should ever miss a payment I can put this amount to my Credit as an Advance on what I owed...DO NOT GIVE HER CASH !!! the courts will look apon it as a "Gift" and still screw ya...
There is one Sucker here at work that is falling for the same Crap.???.his Ex is constantly calling and demanding more money on a daily basis, if he does not give in she plays the guilt trip on him that if anything happens to his kids it's His Fault because they have no money and "Mom" can't afford tires for the car,gas,electricity,school clothes,Bla...Bla...Bla...and sends the Kids to get Money :mad:
So he always gives in.....
Like stated earlier the more you give the more she will want and EXPECT :hammerhea

Mardonzi
03-07-2005, 01:22 PM
Twin Mach is right,, most of us do have a story here... I've been divorced for about 15 years and when we got divorced,, she went on state assistance in Utah and they decided what I was to pay, not the courts. After everything was said and done by the courts, and the Decree was signed, the state still wanted me to reimburse them for the assistance above and beyond what the court order was. She was capable of working,, fact is I had put her through school, but chose not to. It finally took her getting remarried to get the state of Utah off my back about that. My son lived with me for a year, and now my daughter does,,,( we had 2 kids together) and I'm still paying child support through the state of Utah. Luckily, she occassionally returns some of it to me.
California isn't the only state that has a screwed up system.

minnesota_duane
03-07-2005, 01:53 PM
Has anyone here had an ex wife........
Yes :devil:

spectratoad
03-07-2005, 02:41 PM
I wouldn't give her any more money. I would go buy whatever it is the kids may need, keep the receipts and subtract that from puture payments. Tell her that is what you will be doing in the future and send it to her via certified letter. I bet she quits asking for money. :boxingguy
I am one of the lucky few that gets child support from my ex and I have physical custody. :D

vegasriverjunkie
03-07-2005, 04:40 PM
Wow!! Seems alot of us have similar situations. Thanks for your input.

78Southwind
03-08-2005, 12:31 AM
This is a VERY sore subject for me. I do believe that if one lives with you and one with her, the support should be NONE. However, my ex owes 140,000.00 in back support. I know I will never get it but he keeps trying to get me to sign a waiver to dismiss it all. That is something I won't do due to the fact that this is for my children. I'm not one to get MY nails or hair done. I don't buy myself new things. The money I get is for things my kids need. I don't go out much and I have never asked him for anything except child support. He on the other hand has asked me for money. (what a joke) He now has 2 more children so he wants child support reduced. I have agreed to reduce it twice already. Why is it that people just can't be responsible for their actions? :mad: :mad:
A child could get a very good college education with $140,000. Maybe even have enough left over to put down on a house after graduation. :idea:

RitcheyRch
03-08-2005, 05:15 AM
Sore subject for me as well. Last year took the ex-wife back to court and the judge awared me custody of our 15 year old daughter and I now get child support from her. I used to pay her $1100 a month in child support and 20% of my overtime money. There were times I was paying almost another $1000 from the 20% crap. Would ask her for a school picture of our daughter and she had the nerve to say that will cost you $20.
Glad that part is over for now and I take the child support her Mother pays me and put it in a savings account for our daughter which is something she never did.

Flying Tiger
03-08-2005, 07:08 AM
I avoid engaging my ex in conversation, and avoid her as much as possible overall.
Never react to anything they say. Deny yourself that comeback comment.
Keep all the females in your life seperated, with the rare except of my daughter who gets along with everyone.
Their is now no tention in the air because the hostile atmosphere has evaporated.
When I started following through on this philospy, life got 100% better.

Coleitis22
03-08-2005, 07:25 AM
Here is the answer to avoid getting a divorce.
1. Get a vasectomy as a High School graduation gift.
2. Find a woman you really hate and buy her a house.
3. Re locate to another state and really enjoy being single.
;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

probablecause
03-08-2005, 08:37 AM
That sucks when the child support goes to the parents and they spend it on themselves...selfish bastards. You probably have to buy your kids clothes too. I wouldn't give her anymore advances... :yuk:
A study was done which showed that the ex's only used 25% of their child support money for the children. The rest was spent on other things. Could you imagine if the ex's had to provide receipts for everything they spent child support money on? Got to love the "system".

Sherpa
03-08-2005, 09:08 AM
1. divorce sucks.
2. children should never be used as pawns.
3. make arrangments so doctor/dentist bills go straight to you, not the ex.
4. spend time with your kids buying them clothes, school supplies, etc.
5. you may even go so far as to make some major costco food runs.....
6. divorce sucks.......
--Sherpa
13 going on 14 years..

boater72
03-08-2005, 12:57 PM
Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,"
the divorce Court Judge said, "And I've decided to give
your wife $775 a week," "That's very fair, your honor,"
the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try
to send her a few bucks myself!"