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BarryMac
03-09-2005, 02:53 PM
What did the Lady at the Beach say to Michael Jackson?
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Sir, your gonna have to move, your in my Son... :eek:
:jawdrop:
:jawdrop:
What does Michael Jackson and an Olympic Silver Medalist have in common?
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They both came in a little behind... :eek:

diggler
03-09-2005, 02:59 PM
Lmao!

MRS FLYIN VEE
03-09-2005, 03:05 PM
what should he wear to court. :idea: :idea: :D
http://www2.***boat.com/image_center/data/500/719wear_2_-med.jpg

Her454
03-09-2005, 03:11 PM
I dont have any jokes but I have exhibit #1 from the Trial ............
http://www.hotboatpics.com/pics/data/500/139michael.jpg
:D :D

MRS FLYIN VEE
03-09-2005, 03:11 PM
I dont have any jokes but I have exhibit #1 from the Trial ............
http://www.hotboatpics.com/pics/data/500/139michael.jpg
:D :D
OMG.... ROTFLMAO!!

Captain Dan
03-09-2005, 03:12 PM
Why didn't Michael leave the state when he knew he was going to be arrested?
None of his friends were old enough to drive.

mickeyfinn
03-09-2005, 03:27 PM
Why does Michael Jackson shop at K-mart?
He heard they had kid's clothes half off.

Garrddogg
03-09-2005, 03:41 PM
how do they know when its bed time at Michael Jacksons house?
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When the big hand touches the little hand! :eek:

mickeyfinn
03-09-2005, 03:48 PM
here is a whole list lifted from another site. Some are really sick....hmmm...kinda like michael himself.
Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?
A: "Feel the World."
Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest song?
A: "Don't let your son go down on me."
Rumor has it that Michael Jackson is in Switzerland undergoing cosmetic surgery on his pecker.
Then the description the California Justice Dept got from the little boy won't fit anymore.
Another rumor has it that he's finally going all the way and changing gender entirely.
Michael Jackson first wanted to look like Diana Ross, then a white person, now he wants to be A ROMAN CATHOLIC PRIEST.
Q: What's Michael Jackson's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Little Boy Blew.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Little Boy Blue.
Little Boy Blue who?
Michael Jackson.
Q: What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?
A: "The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
Q: What did Michael Jackson say when a boy in a car mooned him going down the road?
A: "I'll be there!"
If you play thriller backwards, you can hear Michael confessing all the names of the boys he touched. That's why it is 14 minutes long.
Q: What is Michael Jackson's favorite gospel song?
A: "And then he touched me"
I just bought a new car stereo... When you shout out "Soul", it plays soul music. When you shout out "Rock", it plays rock music. Some kids ran in front of my car, and I shouted "****ing kids!", and it played Michael Jackson.
Michael Jackson's found a way to stymie that L.A. search warrant:
He's invited Lorena Bobbitt over.
Q: What did Michael Jackson say to Lorena Bobbit?
A: "SILLY Bobbit! Dicks are for KIDS!"
Q: What do Michael Jackson and Miss Bobbit have in common?
A: They both played with little wieners.
Q: Why did Michael Jackson get food poisoning?
A: He ate a nine year old wiener!
Q: Why did Michael Jackson get kicked out of the school cafeteria?
A: Because he ate all the kids' wieners.
Q: What does Michael Jackson call a circumcision?
A: Foreplay.
Q: What do Michael Jackson and an xbox have in common?
A: Both get turned on by kids!!!
Q: What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
A: They both leave little boys' rooms with empty sacks.
Q: What do Michael Jackson and Dr. Spock have in common?
A: They both know how to rear a child.
Q: What do Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan have in common?
A: They both play ball in the Minor League.
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan?
A: One is in the Minors, the other is into Minors.
Q: Why's Michael trying out for the NBA?
A: He's a crack shooter.
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
A: One was the first man to walk on the moon, and the other f***s little boys.
Q: What does Michael have in common with NASA?
A: It's been 25 years since his first moon landing.
It was reported the other day that Michael Jackson wants to be one of the first civilians to travel into space.
A spokesperson for NASA said, "We're fine with the idea but the only problem is Jackson insists on coming back".
Q: What is Michael Jackson's favorite holiday?
A: Christmas because he gives the well behaved kids a special gift...
Q: Where's Michael going on holiday?
A: He's off to Tampa with the kids.
Q: What do Michael Jackson and Walmart have in common?
A: They both have small boys pants at half off!
Q: What do Michael Jackson and Walmart have in common?
A: They both wait 3 months after the child is born to give piercings.
Q: Why did Michael Jackson go to K Mart?
A: He heard they had small boys pants half off.
Q: What does Michael Jackson think of when he sees a boy in a McDonald's suit?
A: A happy meal.
McDonald's is bringing out a new "Michael Jackson Burger"...
It has 35 year old meat inside 5 year old buns.
The new burger at McDonald's is called the McJackson.
It consists of matured beef between two fresh white buns.
Q: What do Michael's rear and an LA jail have in common?
A: Both hold the juice.
Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: Because they aren't his!
Q: Why does Michael Jackson want to move to Ohio?
A: He heard there's a Youngstown there.
Q: What's Micheal Jackson's Chinese name?
A: Melikeemyoung.
Q: Did you hear that Michael Jackson was taken to the Emergency Room?
A: He was choking on a small bone!
Q: Did you hear about the new McDonalds McJackson sandwich?
A: It's a 35 year old slab of meat between two 12 year old buns.
Q: What do Michael Jackson and a Big Mac have in common?
A: They're both 30 year old meat between 10 year old buns!
Q: How many times does 12 go into 35?
A: Ask Michael Jackson.
Q: What's 6 + 46 + 5?
A: A threesome with Michael Jackson.
Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year old boyfriends?
A: Because there are twenty of them!
An engineer, a lawyer and Michael Jackson are all asked the same question, "What is 2+2?".
The engineer says, "Well, it is almost 4, but never actually reaches it."
The lawyer says. "Hm, case files seem to say it is 4."
Then they looked at Michael figuring he would get it wrong, then he said, "That's easy! The age of the boys I like!"
Q: How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. Michael Jackson only screws little boys!
Q: Why isn't all the controversy bothering Michael?
A: He doesn't mind reaching bottom.
Q: What's soft and brown and sometimes found in little boy's diapers?
A: Michael Jackson's hand!
Q: What's the worst stain to try and remove from little boy's underpants?
A: Michael Jackson's makeup.
Q: What's white and in Michael Jackson's pocket?
A: His other hand.
Q: Did you hear about Michael Jackson's toaster?
A: The bread goes in brown, and comes out white.
Q: Who's Michael Jackson's favorite poet?
A: Emily Dick in son.

barbigrl
03-09-2005, 03:51 PM
Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: Because they aren't his!
Q: What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A: Get out of my sun!
Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?
A: Throw him a buoy!
Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??
A: He thought it was a delivery service.
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Casper?
A: One is pale and scares kids and the other is a friendly ghost.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson rush over to Wal-Mart?
A. He heard that boys' pants were 1/2 off.
Q. What's the difference between a supermarket bag and Michael
Jackson?
A. One is white, made of plastic, and should be kept away from
small children. The other is used to hold groceries.
Q. How do you know when it's bedtime at the Neverland Ranch?
A. When the big hand touches the little hand.
Q. What's brown and often found in children's underpants?
A. Michael Jackson's hand.
Q. What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson's
dreams every night?
A. Hanson.
Q. What the difference between Michael Jackson and acne?
A. Acne doesn't come on your face until you're about fifteen.
Q. Why can you always win a race with Michael Jackson?
A. Because he always likes to come in a little behind.
Q. What did Michael Jackson say to Gary Glitter?
A. I'll swap you a 10 for two fives
Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a perfect "10"?
A: Two 5 year olds.
Janet and Michael Jackson were at home one night...
Janet: Shall we get a pizza and video tonight?
Michael: Yeah, okay, can we get Aladdin?
Janet: No, just a pizza and video
Q: What famous celebrity had the most children over the last 10
years?
A: Michael Jackson
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and greyhound
racing?
A: The greyhounds wait for the hares to come out.
Q: What do Michael and homework have in common?
A: Both are a pain in the ass to kids
The Pope has issued a proclamation on Michael Jackson:
If he hears any more allegations about little boys, the Pope says
he'll have no choice but to make him a priest.
FBI have raided Michael Jackson's house:
They found class A drugs in his kitchen,
Class B drugs in his living room and
Class 5C in his bedroom.
Michael Jackson and his wife are in the recovery room with their
new baby son.
The doctor walks in and Michael asks, "Doctor, how long before we
can have sex?"
"I'd wait until he's at least 14," the doctor replies.

JB in so cal
03-09-2005, 03:58 PM
How can you tell Jacko's having a party?...
...All the Big Wheels parked in the driveway.

Boatcop
03-09-2005, 04:16 PM
What did Michael Jackson say when he left the courtroom?
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"I feel like a Little Boy, again!"

Charley
03-09-2005, 08:42 PM
What college did Michael Jackson graduate from?
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Bringem Young

ratso
03-10-2005, 10:26 AM
Did you hear about the new Michael Jackson/Boy George song?
It's called "I'll Beat It For You"

Havasu_Dreamin
03-10-2005, 11:06 AM
Why did Michael Jackson get kicked out of the boy scouts?
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He was up to a pack a day

JB in so cal
03-10-2005, 11:11 AM
I was going to hold this one out for poor taste, but WTF.
What does Michael Jackson like best about molesting little kids?
How big his unit looks in their hands.

barbigrl
03-10-2005, 11:17 AM
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_1_120.gif ('http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb008_ZNxmk146YYUS')