Moneypitt
09-28-2005, 06:40 PM
Spying
Two Iraqi spies met in a busy restaurant after they had successfully slipped into the U.S.
The first spy starts speaking in Arabic.
The second spy shushes him quickly and whispers:
"Don't blow our cover. You're in America now. Speak Spanish."
Still a great joke.......
A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the
Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance.
Hoping to find water, he walked toward the object, only to find a
little old Jewish man sitting at a card table with neckties
laid out on it.
The Arab asked, "My thirst is killing me. Do you have water?"
The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a
tie?
They are only $150. This one goes very nicely with your robes."
The Arab shouted, "Idiot! I do not need an overpriced tie. I need
water!"
OK," said the old Jew, "it does not matter that you do not want to
buy a tie.
I will show you that you have not offended me.
If you walk over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will
find a lovely restaurant. Go! Walk that way!
The restaurant has all the water you need!"
The Arab staggered away toward the hill and eventually disappeared.
Four hours later the Arab came crawling back to where the Jewish man was sitting at his table.
The Jew said, "I told you, about two miles over that hill. Could you
not find it?
I found it all right," rasped the Arab. "Your brother won't let me in
without a tie."
THIS IS THE BEST LAWYER STORY OF THE YEAR,
DECADE AND PROBABLY THE CENTURY.
A Charlotte, NC lawyer purchased a box of very
rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire,
among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made
even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer
filed claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were
lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company
refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man
had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.
The lawyer sued... and WON! (Stay with me.)
In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with
the insurance company that the claim was frivolous.
The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer
"held a policy from the company in which
it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and
also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire,
without defining what is considered to be
unacceptable fire" and was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the
insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000
to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."
NOW FOR THE BEST PART...
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company
had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own
insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being
used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally
burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months
in jail and a $24,000 fine.
This is a true story and was the First place winner in the
recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.
ONLY IN AMERICA!
NO WONDER THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES THINK
WE'RE NUTS.
Two Iraqi spies met in a busy restaurant after they had successfully slipped into the U.S.
The first spy starts speaking in Arabic.
The second spy shushes him quickly and whispers:
"Don't blow our cover. You're in America now. Speak Spanish."
Still a great joke.......
A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the
Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance.
Hoping to find water, he walked toward the object, only to find a
little old Jewish man sitting at a card table with neckties
laid out on it.
The Arab asked, "My thirst is killing me. Do you have water?"
The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a
tie?
They are only $150. This one goes very nicely with your robes."
The Arab shouted, "Idiot! I do not need an overpriced tie. I need
water!"
OK," said the old Jew, "it does not matter that you do not want to
buy a tie.
I will show you that you have not offended me.
If you walk over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will
find a lovely restaurant. Go! Walk that way!
The restaurant has all the water you need!"
The Arab staggered away toward the hill and eventually disappeared.
Four hours later the Arab came crawling back to where the Jewish man was sitting at his table.
The Jew said, "I told you, about two miles over that hill. Could you
not find it?
I found it all right," rasped the Arab. "Your brother won't let me in
without a tie."
THIS IS THE BEST LAWYER STORY OF THE YEAR,
DECADE AND PROBABLY THE CENTURY.
A Charlotte, NC lawyer purchased a box of very
rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire,
among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made
even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer
filed claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were
lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company
refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man
had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.
The lawyer sued... and WON! (Stay with me.)
In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with
the insurance company that the claim was frivolous.
The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer
"held a policy from the company in which
it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and
also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire,
without defining what is considered to be
unacceptable fire" and was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the
insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000
to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."
NOW FOR THE BEST PART...
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company
had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own
insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being
used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally
burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months
in jail and a $24,000 fine.
This is a true story and was the First place winner in the
recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.
ONLY IN AMERICA!
NO WONDER THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES THINK
WE'RE NUTS.