HCS
09-30-2005, 01:09 PM
With all the drama on here I figure this might help. :)
Here are some responses we might see if MEN wrote advice columns...
-----
Q. My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
A. Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your
skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform
oral sex on him it totally selfless. This shows how much he loves you.
The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day; then
cook him a nice meal.
-----
Q. My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A. You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity
training. Foreplay to men is very stressful and time consuming. Sex
should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for
foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as
you should. He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop
being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral
sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.
-----
Q. My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A. This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The
man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A
night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can
foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle
your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two. It's
a great time to clean the house, too! Just look at how emotional and
happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do
when he returns home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex
on him. Then cook him a nice meal.
-----
Q. My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A. Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with
it, do it on your own time and ask your best friend to help. You may
wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your
husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex
on him and cook him a delicious meal.
-----
Q. My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep
without giving me one.
A. I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to
cook him a nice meal?
Here are some responses we might see if MEN wrote advice columns...
-----
Q. My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
A. Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your
skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform
oral sex on him it totally selfless. This shows how much he loves you.
The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day; then
cook him a nice meal.
-----
Q. My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A. You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity
training. Foreplay to men is very stressful and time consuming. Sex
should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for
foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as
you should. He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop
being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral
sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.
-----
Q. My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A. This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The
man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A
night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can
foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle
your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two. It's
a great time to clean the house, too! Just look at how emotional and
happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do
when he returns home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex
on him. Then cook him a nice meal.
-----
Q. My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A. Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with
it, do it on your own time and ask your best friend to help. You may
wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your
husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex
on him and cook him a delicious meal.
-----
Q. My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep
without giving me one.
A. I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to
cook him a nice meal?