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moneysucker
10-28-2005, 03:04 PM
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts?
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on
Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong"
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along
with.. "a recipe".
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins
"Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."
Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides

CA Stu
10-28-2005, 03:17 PM
What do you call that useless flap of skin around a vagina?
A woman.

MagicMtnDan
10-28-2005, 03:19 PM
This oughta offend you! (http://www2.***boat.com/forums/showthread.php?t=96020)

H20 Party Starter
10-28-2005, 03:23 PM
This oughta offend you! (http://www2.***boat.com/forums/showthread.php?t=96020)
3rd-4th time repeat, you guys need to read more!

Kim Hanson
10-28-2005, 03:35 PM
Amateurs :p
One morning in December, a happily married couple rises from their nightÂ’s rest. The husband rolls over to his beautiful wife and asks how her night was.
She replies,"It was great! I had the best dream in the world." Intrigued, the husband urges her to go on. "Well, I had a dream that I had the most beautifully decorated Christmas Tree ever! It was covered with Cocks; big ones, long ones, hard ones, smooth ones, every kind of dick you could imagine."
The husband, now gloating a little asks, "Was mine at the top for the shining star?"
"No, yours was at the bottom with the broken wrinkly tiny ones. How was your night honey?"
Now pissed off, he replies, "Well honey, my dream was even better than yours! I dreamed that we had a Christmas Tree decorated with the most beautiful Vaginas ever; tight ones, pink ones, smooth ones, every kind of vagina."
"Was mine at the top for your shining star?"
Then the husband replies, "No yours was holding up the fockining tree!".........( . )( . )..................

***boateditor
10-28-2005, 04:10 PM
The only offensive thing about this is that it has been posted to the Sandbar so many times already.
Including yesterday.

Desert Rat
10-28-2005, 04:59 PM
Why do women need men?
Because you can't get a dildo to mow the lawn :D