MagicMtnDan
10-29-2005, 01:58 PM
Here are some posted elsewhere:
AIR LATTES
“Coffee cups never seem to have anything in them. Characters from movies and TV wave them around for dramatic effect and then take a fake sip. Mmm, a fluffy air latte. It annoys me because it wouldn’t be hard to put a little water in the cup to make it a little heavier. It’s painfully obvious that the latte is just a prop, and it takes me out of the scene every time.”
NO, NO, AFTER YOU
“One of the movie cliches that bugs me to no end is when the hero is outnumbered and fighting a bunch of villains. The bad guys will attack the hero ONE AT A TIME. When the hero is finished with one bad guy then another bad guy will step up and take his turn while the other bad guys stand around and wait. Wouldn’t it be much more efficient for 10 of them to attack the hero at the same time?”
THATÂ’S SOME KILLER BACTINE
“Movie Cliches: The hero will be beaten from hell to breakfast without a whimper, but the minute a woman attempts to clean his wounds with gauze and Bactine, he’ll wince like she burnt him with a cigarette. Why is this? It’s especially common in Westerns.”
RIGHT OVER HERE
“You are a murderer chasing your victim who runs into a deserted building and hides. You follow her into the building and loudly shout “where are you!” Do you relly expect her to reply: “here I am, come on and kill me” ? Worst offenders—any Lifetime movie.”
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO HACK TODAY?
“No matter where you are or who you work for, you instantly have EVERY database in the world at your command. Work in Boston, but need the police files for someone in Martinique? (Yes, Crossing Jordan, I’m looking at you)! No problem, just type in two or three words and your there. Need to find a driver’s license? No problem, type in just the name (could even be John Smith), and they will pop up GIANT sized with a picture and everything. I wish it was that easy.”
SHAVING CREAM, BE NICE AND CLEAN
“My father watched a lot of westerns and noticed a peculiar cliche. Our hero is sitting in a barbershop getting a shave and halfway through the shave something happens outside which he has to investigate. He wipes off the rest of the shaving cream but voila! his face is entirely shaved. My father always wanted to buy that stubble removing shaving cream favored by the barbers of Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, et. al.”
ONE SECOND LEFT
“How about the trick where if a bomb or timer is detonated, it always stops at 1 second no matter what? No matter what the circumstances, the environment, the likelihood of someone actually doing it right, they stop it with just one second to spare. I love the part in Galaxy Quest where Tim Allen and Sigourney Weaver try to stop the ship from blowing up. ‘It always stops at one on the show!’
AIR LATTES
“Coffee cups never seem to have anything in them. Characters from movies and TV wave them around for dramatic effect and then take a fake sip. Mmm, a fluffy air latte. It annoys me because it wouldn’t be hard to put a little water in the cup to make it a little heavier. It’s painfully obvious that the latte is just a prop, and it takes me out of the scene every time.”
NO, NO, AFTER YOU
“One of the movie cliches that bugs me to no end is when the hero is outnumbered and fighting a bunch of villains. The bad guys will attack the hero ONE AT A TIME. When the hero is finished with one bad guy then another bad guy will step up and take his turn while the other bad guys stand around and wait. Wouldn’t it be much more efficient for 10 of them to attack the hero at the same time?”
THATÂ’S SOME KILLER BACTINE
“Movie Cliches: The hero will be beaten from hell to breakfast without a whimper, but the minute a woman attempts to clean his wounds with gauze and Bactine, he’ll wince like she burnt him with a cigarette. Why is this? It’s especially common in Westerns.”
RIGHT OVER HERE
“You are a murderer chasing your victim who runs into a deserted building and hides. You follow her into the building and loudly shout “where are you!” Do you relly expect her to reply: “here I am, come on and kill me” ? Worst offenders—any Lifetime movie.”
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO HACK TODAY?
“No matter where you are or who you work for, you instantly have EVERY database in the world at your command. Work in Boston, but need the police files for someone in Martinique? (Yes, Crossing Jordan, I’m looking at you)! No problem, just type in two or three words and your there. Need to find a driver’s license? No problem, type in just the name (could even be John Smith), and they will pop up GIANT sized with a picture and everything. I wish it was that easy.”
SHAVING CREAM, BE NICE AND CLEAN
“My father watched a lot of westerns and noticed a peculiar cliche. Our hero is sitting in a barbershop getting a shave and halfway through the shave something happens outside which he has to investigate. He wipes off the rest of the shaving cream but voila! his face is entirely shaved. My father always wanted to buy that stubble removing shaving cream favored by the barbers of Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, et. al.”
ONE SECOND LEFT
“How about the trick where if a bomb or timer is detonated, it always stops at 1 second no matter what? No matter what the circumstances, the environment, the likelihood of someone actually doing it right, they stop it with just one second to spare. I love the part in Galaxy Quest where Tim Allen and Sigourney Weaver try to stop the ship from blowing up. ‘It always stops at one on the show!’