Infomaniac
05-18-2006, 11:58 AM
Cleverly hidden within this letter, for added incentive to read onward, is one lie. Not a lie of statistical or grammatical error, but a ludicrous falsehood at once so absurd as to strike the reader as an insult to human intelligence, and yet so harebrained as to convince the reader that Hot Boat Forum Members's spin doctors would sooner ally with evil than oppose it. First things first: Whenever there's an argument about Hot Boat Forum Members's devotion to principles and to freedom, all one has to do is point out that Hot Boat Forum Members's dream is for us to lay down our freedom at our feet and say to it, "Make us your slaves -- but feed us". That should settle the argument pretty quickly. Hot Boat Forum Members should take all the bull-pucky it's been throwing at us and fertilize its garden with it. (Read as: the fabric of Hot Boat Forum Members's propositions is infused with unenlightened, nasty sadism.) Now stay with me a moment here; I am making a point. Specifically, the central paradox of Hot Boat Forum Members's views, the twist that makes Hot Boat Forum Members's cock-and-bull stories so irresistible to chauvinistic turncoats, is that these people truly believe that the purpose of life is self-gratification.
The irony is that Hot Boat Forum Members's most cuckoo traducements are also its most rash. As the French say, "Les extremes se touchent." Hot Boat Forum Members claims that the health effects of secondhand smoke are negligible. I, hardheaded cynic that I am, would say that that claim is 70% folderol, 20% twaddle, and 10% another biggety attempt to scrap the notion of national sovereignty. If Hot Boat Forum Members continues to focus too much on one side of the equation and not enough on the broader perspective of things, I will be obliged to do something about it. And you know me: I, not being one of the many horny, untrustworthy dweebs of this world, never neglect my obligations. Does Hot Boat Forum Members actually think its arguments through, or does it just chug along on its computer writing about whatever trite doctrines happen to suit its needs that day? I ask, because what really irks me is that Hot Boat Forum Members has presented us with a Hobson's choice. Either we let it turn peaceful gatherings into embarrassing scandals or it'll conspire with evil.
Let me move now from the abstract to the concrete. That is, let me give you a (mercifully) few examples of Hot Boat Forum Members's outrageous ineptitude. For starters, we can divide its squibs into three categories: debauched, beer-guzzling, and lackluster. In case you hadn't noticed, Hot Boat Forum Members likes to posture as a guardian of virtue and manners. However, when it comes right down to it, what it is pushing is both self-satisfied and bloodthirsty. Hot Boat Forum Members's nostrums are destructive. They're morally destructive, socially destructive -- even intellectually destructive. And, as if that weren't enough, Hot Boat Forum Members never tires of trying to extinguish fires with gasoline. It presumably hopes that the magic formula will work some day. In the meantime, it seems to have resolved to learn nothing from experience, which tells us that I no longer believe that trends like family breakdown, promiscuity, and violence are random events. Not only are they explicitly glorified and promoted by Hot Boat Forum Members's lackadaisical inveracities, but I recently informed it that its emissaries bring ugliness and nastiness into our lives. Hot Boat Forum Members said it'd "look further into the matter." Well, not too much further; after all, its inclinations are rife with contradictions and difficulties; they're entirely perverted, meet no objective criteria, and are unsuited for a supposedly educated population. And as if that weren't enough, it claims to have turned over a new leaf shortly after getting caught trying to legitimize the fear and hatred of the privileged for the oppressed. This claim is an outright lie that is still being circulated by Hot Boat Forum Members's bedfellows. The truth is that Hot Boat Forum Members believes that honesty and responsibility have no cash value and are therefore worthless. Unfortunately, as long as it believes such absurdities, it will continue to commit atrocities. Before you read this letter, you might have thought that Hot Boat Forum Members answers to no one. Now you know that the evidence for this lies in the underlying assumptions behind Hot Boat Forum Members's claims.
The irony is that Hot Boat Forum Members's most cuckoo traducements are also its most rash. As the French say, "Les extremes se touchent." Hot Boat Forum Members claims that the health effects of secondhand smoke are negligible. I, hardheaded cynic that I am, would say that that claim is 70% folderol, 20% twaddle, and 10% another biggety attempt to scrap the notion of national sovereignty. If Hot Boat Forum Members continues to focus too much on one side of the equation and not enough on the broader perspective of things, I will be obliged to do something about it. And you know me: I, not being one of the many horny, untrustworthy dweebs of this world, never neglect my obligations. Does Hot Boat Forum Members actually think its arguments through, or does it just chug along on its computer writing about whatever trite doctrines happen to suit its needs that day? I ask, because what really irks me is that Hot Boat Forum Members has presented us with a Hobson's choice. Either we let it turn peaceful gatherings into embarrassing scandals or it'll conspire with evil.
Let me move now from the abstract to the concrete. That is, let me give you a (mercifully) few examples of Hot Boat Forum Members's outrageous ineptitude. For starters, we can divide its squibs into three categories: debauched, beer-guzzling, and lackluster. In case you hadn't noticed, Hot Boat Forum Members likes to posture as a guardian of virtue and manners. However, when it comes right down to it, what it is pushing is both self-satisfied and bloodthirsty. Hot Boat Forum Members's nostrums are destructive. They're morally destructive, socially destructive -- even intellectually destructive. And, as if that weren't enough, Hot Boat Forum Members never tires of trying to extinguish fires with gasoline. It presumably hopes that the magic formula will work some day. In the meantime, it seems to have resolved to learn nothing from experience, which tells us that I no longer believe that trends like family breakdown, promiscuity, and violence are random events. Not only are they explicitly glorified and promoted by Hot Boat Forum Members's lackadaisical inveracities, but I recently informed it that its emissaries bring ugliness and nastiness into our lives. Hot Boat Forum Members said it'd "look further into the matter." Well, not too much further; after all, its inclinations are rife with contradictions and difficulties; they're entirely perverted, meet no objective criteria, and are unsuited for a supposedly educated population. And as if that weren't enough, it claims to have turned over a new leaf shortly after getting caught trying to legitimize the fear and hatred of the privileged for the oppressed. This claim is an outright lie that is still being circulated by Hot Boat Forum Members's bedfellows. The truth is that Hot Boat Forum Members believes that honesty and responsibility have no cash value and are therefore worthless. Unfortunately, as long as it believes such absurdities, it will continue to commit atrocities. Before you read this letter, you might have thought that Hot Boat Forum Members answers to no one. Now you know that the evidence for this lies in the underlying assumptions behind Hot Boat Forum Members's claims.