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No Name
08-29-2006, 10:29 PM
I have a soon to be 19 year old son who has been enrolled at OSU for the past year. He called me Saturday and told me that his truck was wrecked. He said he found it that way when he woke up Saturday morning and no one had seen anything. I asked him a few times if he was telling me the truth, and he said yes. He has always been honest with me ( as far as I know) so I took his word for it.
I was going to pay to have it repaired since I felt bad for him and I pay for everything else anyways. :mad: He really doesnÂ’t need a truck because he lives in a frat house on campus. I received a call from his Mother around 8:00 PM Tuesday and she informed me that the Police had been by her home looking for him, YES A HIT AND RUN. The little bastard lied to me after I asked him more then once.
His step dad is a attorney and knows some people so he was only charged with a misdemeanor instead of the felony. I talked to my boy and he said he got scared and didnÂ’t know what to do (BS). I asked him if he was drinking (since thatÂ’s all they do in collage) :mad: and he said no ( more BS). I told him I didnÂ’t believe him since he lied to me from the start. :mad: IÂ’ll be taking his truck for the rest of this year and told him I will expect his grades to be better this year or he won't be getting it back at all.
What would you do?
http://www.***boat.com/image_center/data/520/3087P9200344-med.jpg

YeLLowBoaT
08-29-2006, 10:33 PM
If you pay for the truck... its gone. I would also pay him a vist in a few weeks...

HMF'er
08-29-2006, 10:44 PM
Whatever you do, don't loan him your boat!

Kilrtoy
08-29-2006, 10:45 PM
Yopu cant delete this thread, BUT I would edit it right now.....
and yes he can be charged with a felony

No Name
08-29-2006, 10:52 PM
If you pay for the truck... its gone. I would also pay him a vist in a few weeks...
Yes, I bought him that truck his 12th year of high school and his Mother has been paying his insurance. The boy pays for nothing, we pay for his clothes, phone, insurance (medical and auto) tuition and his frat house were all his meals are free. He also gets a 500.00 a month cash allowance. He has a great gig and I just hope he doesnÂ’t fock it up.
As far as the visit in a few weeks, good idea. IÂ’ll need a few weeks to cool off. :mad:

No Name
08-29-2006, 10:53 PM
Whatever you do, don't loan him your boat!
He can have the boat, maybe he could sink it. :idea: :)

Cheap Thrills
08-29-2006, 10:54 PM
Yopu cant delete this thread, BUT I would edit it right now.....
and yes he can be charged with a felony
I concur with that statement !
Also take the truck and not fix it.
C.T. :wink:

No Name
08-29-2006, 10:56 PM
Yopu cant delete this thread, BUT I would edit it right now.....
and yes he can be charged with a felony
They already charged him with a misdemeanor.
What the hell, if they change their mind it will only be a few grand more. :cry:

Kilrtoy
08-29-2006, 11:00 PM
They already charged him with a misdemeanor.
What the hell, if they change their mind it will only be a few grand more. :cry:
Well hell in that case
i need some low water pick ups, this new trick venting system for my lowers and another hot chick in my boat
can you help a brother out

bunny 166
08-29-2006, 11:06 PM
Sorry to hear that....sounds like tough love is the way to go Dad. It will all work out in the end...Hope to see you guys soon!
C :)

No Name
08-29-2006, 11:08 PM
Well hell in that case
i need some low water pick ups, this new trick venting system for my lowers and another hot chick in my boat
can you help a brother out
I would but the boy takes all my extra cash, why do you think I only make 5 trips to Havasu a year. :mad:
If I didnÂ’t have him I would have an F32 and be there every weekend. :D :D

No Name
08-29-2006, 11:12 PM
It will all work out in the end. C :)
Yeah, it always does. Thanks. :) Maybe will see ya in mid Sept.

Kilrtoy
08-29-2006, 11:15 PM
I would but the boy takes all my extra cash, why do you think I only make 5 trips to Havasu a year. :mad:
If I didnÂ’t have him I would have an F32 and be there every weekend. :D :D
Well u two come out on ours ofcourse before OCT, I have alay up, im a baby JR baller in training

YeLLowBoaT
08-29-2006, 11:16 PM
One thing I forgot to say.... you need to call your ex and get on "the same page" with what your going to do.

bunny 166
08-29-2006, 11:16 PM
Yeah, it always does. Thanks. :) Maybe will see ya in mid Sept.
Sounds good...say hi to Miss Brazilian Booty... :p Hope you guys are great...

Kachina26
08-29-2006, 11:35 PM
Repair truck, sell truck, cut off $500 cash allowance, and tell him to get shiot figured out real quick, as the free ride is the next thing to disappear. Why is it we don't realize how good our parents treated us until we've been out on our own for awhile???

HM
08-29-2006, 11:41 PM
So let's see... He has a free truck, free insurance, free college, free supplies, free boarding, free meals, free clothing, and an extra free $500 per month. Perhaps you are getting what he paid for? :idea:

HM
08-29-2006, 11:51 PM
Repair truck, sell truck, cut off $500 cash allowance, and tell him to get shiot figured out real quick, as the free ride is the next thing to disappear. Why is it we don't realize how good our parents treated us until we've been out on our own for awhile???
Because we never really worked for it, so there was no value, only entitlement. How can we understand how good something is if you never experience how bad it can be? As parents, we want to raise our kids and protect them from the mistakes that we made, yet it was those mistakes that we made that allow us to understand and appreciate when we have it good. We steal from our kids the experiences that will turn them into responsible adults by trying to protect them.

Kilrtoy
08-29-2006, 11:58 PM
Because we never really worked for it, so there was no value, only entitlement. How can we understand how good something is if you never experience how bad it can be? As parents, we want to raise our kids and protect them from the mistakes that we made, yet it was those mistakes that we made that allow us to understand and appreciate when we have it good. We steal from our kids the experiences that will turn them into responsible adults by trying to protect them.
GOD DAMN, Sorry mr moly,
I agree with you.
I am experience that as a parent

No Name
08-30-2006, 12:07 AM
One thing I forgot to say.... you need to call your ex and get on "the same page" with what your going to do.
Did you say ex and same page LOLÂ…That woman didnÂ’t like me since before we were married. :D
But we are on the same page when it comes to the boy. :)

No Name
08-30-2006, 12:13 AM
Because we never really worked for it, so there was no value, only entitlement. How can we understand how good something is if you never experience how bad it can be? As parents, we want to raise our kids and protect them from the mistakes that we made, yet it was those mistakes that we made that allow us to understand and appreciate when we have it good. We steal from our kids the experiences that will turn them into responsible adults by trying to protect them.
I agree also, I guess I just want to make things easy for my boy. You know, want to give him everything I didnÂ’t have. I can tell you that things are about to change for him and if they donÂ’t, he can get a student loan if he wants to stay in collageÂ…Oh and a focking JOB!

YeLLowBoaT
08-30-2006, 12:14 AM
Did you say ex and same page LOLÂ…That woman didnÂ’t like me since before we were married. :D
But we are on the same page when it comes to the boy. :)
Thats all that matter... and ppl wonder why I am not married yet :) ...Almost all of my friends growing up are ether married, divorced or on thier 2nd...I just have not found that women that drives me nuts the least yet.

No Name
08-30-2006, 12:16 AM
Thats all that matter... and ppl wonder why I am not married yet :) ...Almost all of my friends growing up are ether married, divorced or on thier 2nd...I just have not found that women that drives me nuts the least yet.
Stay single as long as you can if not forever. :)

Kilrtoy
08-30-2006, 12:27 AM
Stay single as long as you can if not forever. :)
Thanks for the advice I will try that is marriage #2 doesnt work out :boxed:

Trailer Park Casanova
08-30-2006, 03:15 AM
Delete this thread, pay him a visit, explain how you feel and the consequences of his actions.

topless
08-30-2006, 03:35 AM
I agree also, I guess I just want to make things easy for my boy. You know, want to give him everything I didnÂ’t have. I can tell you that things are about to change for him and if they donÂ’t, he can get a student loan if he wants to stay in collageÂ…Oh and a focking JOB!Sounds to me like you might be just a little too late. He has never had to pay for shit in his life and still to this day Mommy and Daddy are covering his ass. He should be charged with a felony. He was drunk at the time too or he wouldn't have run. You nd Mommy need to cut his ass off............oh but that won't happen because you want to give him everything you never had including resposibility.
The end

topless
08-30-2006, 03:42 AM
I agree also, I guess I just want to make things easy for my boy. You know, want to give him everything I didnÂ’t have. I can tell you that things are about to change for him and if they donÂ’t, he can get a student loan if he wants to stay in collageÂ…Oh and a focking JOB!Sounds to me like you might be just a little too late. He has never had to pay for shit in his life and still to this day Mommy and Daddy are covering his ass. He should be charged with a felony. He was drunk at the time too or he wouldn't have run. You nd Mommy need to cut his ass off............oh but that won't happen because you want to give him everything you never had including resposibility.
The end

kingcole80
08-30-2006, 03:47 AM
yes i did it with my son i gave him my 87 iroc z but took it as soon as his grades dropped and did tell him if he ever got caught with a dui or drugs hed be buying his own car and ins

Trailer Park Casanova
08-30-2006, 03:53 AM
Sounds to me like you might be just a little too late. He has never had to pay for shit in his life and still to this day Mommy and Daddy are covering his ass. He should be charged with a felony. He was drunk at the time too or he wouldn't have run. You nd Mommy need to cut his ass off............oh but that won't happen because you want to give him everything you never had including resposibility.
The end
AKA hitting bottom before ya see any change.

Howie Feltersnatch
08-30-2006, 03:55 AM
So let's get this straight... He wrecks his free truck in a hit & run where he was probably out drinking on the free money that is given to him every month even though he doesn't have a job. He runs back to his frat house that he lives at for free at the college where he is attending for free to sleep it off. The next morning he decides, hmmm.. let's make this all better, I'll call my dad & lie to him about what happened & I'll get my free truck fixed for free. I won't have to lift a finger! What a great plan! Except somebody got his license number when he hit the other vehicle. Uh oh! Plan not so good now.
Since he's now going to be liable for the damage to the other person's car. I'd start with making him get a job to pay for the damages, and adios frat house, hello dorm room. I'd imagine if something like that ended up on an insurance claim he'd be cancelled immediately and virtually uninsurable until he turns 25. Just hope the other party doesn't sue, which is a distinct possibility if the cops are already on the case.

centerhill condor
08-30-2006, 04:25 AM
quite a problem here....what is the boy's major? You've still got a chance for him to learn...I'm thinking a few days in the cooler will help him feel the heat if not see the light.
My dear old Dad told me, "son if you go to jail at college, you stay in jail at college"... never went to jail at college!
can he drink like a "normal" person or does he have a drinking problem in addition to the usual kid away at school stuff?
He won't learn about drinking until he hits bottom...that varies from person to person and the more you try to "help" him the lower the bottom will become.
He may need a semester out of school working at a mercury sludge treatment plant with a pick and shovel or some other backbreaking labor to clue him in on how good he had it...also, the frat is history!
He's gonna lose face but as they say in the "black sheep" book..better to lose face than to lose ass!
He can recover but it is difficult for him and hell on you...good luck!

RitcheyRch
08-30-2006, 04:41 AM
Not sure I understand. What needs to be edited.
Yopu cant delete this thread, BUT I would edit it right now.....
and yes he can be charged with a felony
Some good advice here. Agree with what others have said.

Riomouse911
08-30-2006, 05:21 AM
Dad gave me a '74 Impala in college, and I abused it, crashed it, and literally drove it into the ground... when I had to earn the cash for my first newly purchased vehicle, I treated it with enough care to get 195,000 miles out of it, and still sell it for seven thou in 1999 (a 91' Toy 4x4 truck). I guess for most of us, only when we earn it, do we respect what goes into it. Make him go to work to cover half of his monthly stipend, and lower your contribution by 50%. (and put the other half into the bank and take a vacation next year.. you earned it)
He'll hate you now, but I bet he'll love you later for it.

HavasuSelect
08-30-2006, 05:23 AM
Yes, I bought him that truck his 12th year of high school and his Mother has been paying his insurance. The boy pays for nothing, we pay for his clothes, phone, insurance (medical and auto) tuition and his frat house were all his meals are free. He also gets a 500.00 a month cash allowance. He has a great gig and I just hope he doesnÂ’t fock it up.
As far as the visit in a few weeks, good idea. IÂ’ll need a few weeks to cool off. :mad:
Got room for another son? I've had to pay for my truck/ins/gas/entertainment and basically everything else since I was 16. I'm now stuck with an A.S. degree trying to figure out how to pay for a B.S. since I don't qualify for financial aid. I guess looking at it from another angle it's a good thing. I learned how to manage my money real quick and I learned the value of a dollar. I work 50+ hours a week and I'm proud to say I'm debt free. (Even though that might change with a student loan that's prob in my future.... BTW anybody on here do Student Loans???)
I think it's best to definetely make him get a job. That will occupy some of his time and thus he'll have less time to drink and do other things that frats do. If you can't or don't want to cut him off completely make him help out with payments. He'll get pissed at you, but down the line he'll thank you. Trust me, I know from experience. I'm only 2 years older then him.....Good Luck.

ratso
08-30-2006, 05:35 AM
No Name... a lot of excellent advice here... take it. I'll leave it at that instead of going off on one of my rants.

GHT
08-30-2006, 06:42 AM
Gettin' in a little late on this one but.... I think you are handling it the right way.. I would make sure his mom and stepdad don't undermind you by getting him another vehicle. I would make sure they are on board with you. He made is bed now he should sleep in it, as most adults would.
Good luck..
Don

Devil's Advocate
08-30-2006, 08:24 AM
Parents trying to let go of the child so he can become a well-adjusted adult. I think this must be very difficult. Parents wanting to give and provide for their kids everything they didn't have. But what if if swings too far the other way where they are losing out on valuable life lessons like responsibility/consequences for actions, value of money, respect and pride in earning things. It's great he has 2 very loving parents willing to give it all. :) But it's just going to be a very hard learning experience when the young man realizes later on that the real world is not so forgiving and there are no free rides and no one to take the fall for him. :frown:
I hope this all gets worked out, he's a good kid with potential. :)
I'm going to catch hell for this.... :220v: :)

ECeptor
08-30-2006, 08:29 AM
Unless you want to pay for him the rest of your life, you should cut his a$$ off the gravey train immediately and let him pay his own way. Otherwise, what's his motivation to get through school?
And, yes, a person can pay 100% their own way through school and still enjoy it...I did.
Or keep on keepin' on and put yet another drain on society brat into this world. That way my hard earned tax dollars can pay for him after you are dead and the inheritence is blown.
Jeez.... :yuk:

Ziggy
08-30-2006, 08:40 AM
I can't believe you bought his first story to begin with. :rolleyes:
.
My son rolled his school transportation vehicle going out doing exactly what I told him not to while schooling in AZ........so to this day his truck looks like the biggest POS, flattened roof kicked up just enough to replace windshield....which he drove without for months since Az allowed this so long as he wore eye protection.
Point is I made him suffer so he got an inclination.....we've all done dumb things in our lives and paid the consiquences....Our children must follow that same path in order to appreciate what was handed to them.

ECeptor
08-30-2006, 08:45 AM
On second thought, this whole thread can be summed up in 1 simple mistake both you and his mother are making - the person you call a "KID" is 19 years old which means he's an "ADULT."
Which means it's not your problem! Let the "ADULT" son of your figure it out on his own!
Again, jeez... :yuk:

Jesster
08-30-2006, 09:03 AM
My take on parents paying for college is this. I paid for my entire education myself, all said and done 156K. I would have appreciated some help form my parnets but it was left to me. Looking back I am glad I paid for it. No time was wasted deciding what I majored in. No time was wasted haveing to take classes over because I was partying and not attending classes. Not saying I dindn't party, I did a lot of it but certainly not as much as many of my friends, some of which took 1-2 years longer to graduate. I knew 1st hand how much I needed to budget to pay for books and still have enough left for living expenses.
I will do it differently with my kids though. They will not know this is the plan. They will pay for college from start to finish. I may purchase the house they live in but not till after Freshmen or Sophmore year so some of the expense will be offset and they can have a roomate to help me pay for the house. Its a good possibility that they will already have a car but I wont pay the ins. Any money that is set aside for them as they grew can earn a nice return in 4 years or more. When they graduate I will take the money that was set aside and give it to them, they can pay student loans off, (Student loan interest does not accrue on loans until 6 months after graduation (federal)), make a down payment on a house or start a business, whatever it is it is up to them and hopefully they have the experience at that point to make the right choices.

ChumpChange
08-30-2006, 09:18 AM
can he drink like a "normal" person or does he have a drinking problem in addition to the usual kid away at school stuff?
He won't learn about drinking until he hits bottom...that varies from person to person and the more you try to "help" him the lower the bottom will become.
When you're that young and in a fraternity, everybody has a drinking problem. There is too much access to alcohol with no meaning to the word moderation. The boy messed up but he messed up even more when it came to lying to his father.
Ever since I graduated college, my alcohol consumption has pretty much diminished. I never hit rock bottom, I just grew up and stopped hanging out with the college children.
Blame his fraternity...probably a Pike or something.

Ultra5150
08-30-2006, 09:46 AM
I agree also, I guess I just want to make things easy for my boy. You know, want to give him everything I didnÂ’t have. I can tell you that things are about to change for him and if they donÂ’t, he can get a student loan if he wants to stay in collageÂ…Oh and a focking JOB!
A quick story, when we were kids, my dad made my brother and I work at a car wash on weekends and all summer. My dad had a friend who was an attorney who would berate my dad for making us work.
At that time my brother had just gotten his license, so had the lawyer's son. My father said that if my brother wanted a car, he could drive the family Cutlass or buy his own, regardless, he had to pay for his own insurance. My dad's friend said he was too tough and and that he was buying his son a brand new 280Z. My father told him, if you make them earn it, they will respect it and take care of it.
For a while we would hear that his son was getting tons of tickets, racing, and fender benders. Until we got the call that his son was racing around in his car and wrapped the 280Z around a tree and killed himself. My dads friend was grief stricken and told him that maybe if he had made his son work for things instead of just giving him everything, he may not have had to bury him.
I know that this is an extreme case, I spoil my duaghter, but I always have this story in the back of my head. We did appreciate things that we earned, we took really good care of them because we worked so hard to get them.
Ps - My dad also told me that if I ever got thrown in jail, I would rot there because he would not come and get me. I totally belived him, and it kept me out of some pretty hairy situations. My wife thinks that he was kidding, he was'nt.
My mom also told me that if i got a girl pregnant, she would make me marry her. Again, not kidding. The prospect of getting married at 16 was not too cool and defintiley made me play safe.
Take care of your kids folks, love them like there is no tomorrow, but remember that we are shaping what kind of adults they will grow into.
See you all in Havasu this weekend.

Her454
08-30-2006, 09:57 AM
I agree also, I guess I just want to make things easy for my boy. You know, want to give him everything I didnÂ’t have.
Making it easy for him is doing him an injustice when he has to go out in the real world and function as a responsible adult. Trust me when I say tough love is a bitch but as a parent thats what it takes sometimes.

Tremor Therapy
08-30-2006, 10:03 AM
Tough call, but I have 2 step-daughters (18 and 20) and I have been there and done that. One got busted at the border for some under age crap and I let her deal with her legal pain, and recently number 2 got busted buying drugs with her boyfriend and I let her spend 90 days in juvy and she still has 6 months more of probation.
I did not get either of them an attorney, I let them go through the system as I told them I would. I did not even go down to the station to pick them up after they were "processed." They are different girls today! You have allowed him a free ride, and you are enjoying some of the fruits of your labor. IMHO, he needs to learn a couple of hard lessons to figure out how good he HAD it. You need to meet with him, and let him know just how far he pushed it, and what the new rules are. If you don't, he'll feel like he got over, and there won't be any consequence for his actions. Lots of good advice here, take some. It is hard, but you need to do it.

Dave C
08-30-2006, 10:31 AM
1) take truck away
2) kick kid in arse
3) make him get a job to pay for damages to other persons car.
4) give him the ol "he better not be taking advantage of your generousity otherwise....(insert ultimatum here)"
I would keep paying for school. Its too expensive for kids anyway. Besides it demonstrates how much you value a good education for him. If he is smart he will appreciate the education and try to make the best of it (good grades etc.).
I never understood those kids that took advantage and squandered a great opportunity of having their parents put them through college. they lost out, BIG TIME.

Flyinbowtie
08-30-2006, 10:51 AM
First off, he lied. To you, his father.
Truck gone.
Then, he used a vehicle you paid for and made some very poor decisons about how he was going to operate it, placing your deep pockets at risk.
Insurance gone.
He left the scene of an accident.
TRUST gone
$500.00 a month and no rent or meals to pay for or any other real bills is a recipe for disaster, and it has happened.
He needs to do some serious soul-searching, and you can best help by helping create a minimalist existence for him for awhile, to allow him to understand what it means in the adult world to make it on his own, and what is like when people he loves don't trust him anymore.
Get on the same page with his mom on this, or you're pissin' in the wind..

lucky
08-30-2006, 11:06 AM
I'm rubber chickin'n his asss when he's sleepin

Cole Trickle
08-30-2006, 11:12 AM
Like stated.......
Truck Gone (Replace with a Bike and a lock)
Frat House Gone (Dorm living with a meal plan)
$500 spending $$ gone
Make him get a job to pay the deductible to fix the truck and earn any extra spending $$.
Your only goal should be to make sure he is warm/healthy/fed and finishes the education he started.(Why spend your hard earned $$ so he can be a cool guy?)
When he comes home after school he has 6 months to get a job and move out.(If he graduates or not)
Now that we have helped solve this problem.....What motor/drive package are you gonna put in the new F-32?:D :crossx:

v-drive
08-30-2006, 11:49 AM
Like it has been said before , go up there kick him in the ass, take the truck and half his money. tell him to get a clue. I have young engineers working for me that are paying off student loans. I asked them once if their parents helped with college and all but one said no. the one that said no is worthless. He still thinks he's in college and often comes in late. He's not here again today( has the flu) and I'm done. Adios Bill

bohica
08-30-2006, 11:58 AM
While your son is 19, in all reality he's still just a kid, especially with him having everything handed to him on a golden platter. My wife and I have a plan for our kids. Once they are out of high school, all financial responibilities will be thier own. They will go away for college and have to take out student loans. All living expenses and entertainment money will come out of their own pockets. Once their education is complete and they start their careers, we will pay off all their loans. If they screw up, the debt will be their responsibility.
I'm willing to pay for my kids education, but no way in hell am I gonna pay for a 4 year vacation. By making it their responsibility, I'm hoping they will get done in 4 years, watch the frivolous spending and be more aware of the value of money.

My Man's Sportin' Wood
08-30-2006, 12:32 PM
.
Blame his fraternity...probably a Pike or something.
Are you kidding me? There is no one to blame but the kid. He should pay back his fines out of his own money. Let him arrange payments with the courts. And I agree that the frat house should go. That is obviously not a good environment for him. Furthermore, I see no reason why he couldn't come home and go to a community college to save YOU the money he has wasted in a wrecked truck. Also, my kid would be taking the bus from now on, until he/she bought his/her own car.
The youngster couldn't even man up and tell his dad the truth. :yuk: Do society a favor and make a man out of him now.

Tremor Therapy
08-30-2006, 01:07 PM
I'm willing to pay for my kids education, but no way in hell am I gonna pay for a 4 year vacation. By making it their responsibility, I'm hoping they will get done in 4 years, watch the frivolous spending and be more aware of the value of money.
Best advice yet! This has been my point to my step daughters forever, and they are choosing not to take me up on it. Thats okay as I have 2 more kids coming up!

ChumpChange
08-30-2006, 01:10 PM
Are you kidding me? There is no one to blame but the spoiled kid.
I guess I should have put a smile behind that one. I was just being facetious with that statement as I am a Sig Ep.

Red Horse
08-30-2006, 01:23 PM
I am in the military for 17 years. I have know several kids that had the good life you have given your son. You eventually take it away and they join up with some school and a little older. They even get 2 stripes right out of basic. Then I have to raise them. Their sense of entitlment is unbelievable some times. I even had one call his dad and told him to call me. That phone call was short and sweet.
Bottom line, you are not giving your kid the things you didnt have, you are giving him a disadvantage. He is not going to adjust to the outside world where people dont play that shit. You are just plain out spoiling the hell out of him.
no truck
no frat house
no 500 bucks
pay for his school
pay for his meal plan
Or send him to me and i will straighten him out. :cool:

No Name
08-30-2006, 01:25 PM
Wow, lots of opinions on this mater.
His Mother, Step Father and I have decided what to do. We will be taking his truck away until next summer and cutting his allowance in half. If things improve with him over this next school year we will fix his truck and return it to him. He has always been a pretty good kid and very respectful up to now. He has really let his Mother, Step Father and myself down this time.
As far as student loans I would rather him not have that burden when he graduates. My girlfriend just finished paying her student loan off about three weeks ago and she will be 33 years old tomorrow. ( Happy birthday baby) Some of you may disagree with me but I have to do what I think will be best for him, after all I know him better then anyone (or at least I thought I did). We all make mistakes; I know I made many when growing up as IÂ’m sure most people have.
Maybe this was a good thing and we will all learn something from it. All kids are different so what works for one may not work for the other. This is my only one so I have to just play it as it comes and do what I think is best. I know I may not make all the right choices and IÂ’m sure IÂ’ve done some things wrong along the way, but I do the best I can and IÂ’m hopeful things will work out in the end.
Thanks for the input everyone.

ratso
08-30-2006, 02:04 PM
Wow, lots of opinions on this mater.
His Mother, Step Father and I have decided what to do. We will be taking his truck away until next summer and cutting his allowance in half. If things improve with him over this next school year we will fix his truck and return it to him. He has always been a pretty good kid and very respectful up to now. He has really let his Mother, Step Father and myself down this time.
As far as student loans I would rather him not have that burden when he graduates. My girlfriend just finished paying her student loan off about three weeks ago and she will be 33 years old tomorrow. ( Happy birthday baby) Some of you may disagree with me but I have to do what I think will be best for him, after all I know him better then anyone (or at least I thought I did). We all make mistakes; I know I made many when growing up as IÂ’m sure most people have.
Maybe this was a good thing and we will all learn something from it. All kids are different so what works for one may not work for the other. This is my only one so I have to just play it as it comes and do what I think is best. I know I may not make all the right choices and IÂ’m sure IÂ’ve done some things wrong along the way, but I do the best I can and IÂ’m hopeful things will work out in the end.
Thanks for the input everyone.
I think I've typed what seems like a novel to this... and deleted it each time... I know all parents have different ways of raising their kids, and like you say, what works for some may not work for the others. I've always had to pay my way, not that my parents never bailed me out, but I didn't take advantage of them either. I raised my son different than my parents raised me, and to this day and I hope I don't sound like a broken record to those that have heard it before, he has never talked back to me, raised his voice to me, or as far as I know never really lied to me. He has made mistakes and I have used those times as a learning experience... I didn't go running to rescue him. He knows I will help him out but he also has to stand on his own two feet, do what's right and be responsible for his mistakes. I feel I did a much better job than my own parents did because I put them through hell when I was growing up... not that I was a bad kid... I just let them know I was going to do exactly what I wanted and as long as they weren't paying my way (I've had a job since I was 13) and they had no say-so...
BTW... Devil's Advocate... I think your post was great...
My 4th wife was around from the time he was 8 years old until he was 16.
Had she not been there to help keep all of us in line, it could have been a different story.

Devil's Advocate
08-30-2006, 02:13 PM
I think I've typed what seems like a novel to this... and deleted it each time... I know all parents have different ways of raising their kids, and like you say, what works for some may not work for the others. I've always had to pay my way, not that my parents never bailed me out, but I didn't take advantage of them either. I raised my son different than my parents raised me, and to this day and I hope I don't sound like a broken record to those that have heard it before, he has never talked back to me, raised his voice to me, or as far as I know never really lied to me. He has made mistakes and I have used those times as a learning experience... I didn't go running to rescue him. He knows I will help him out but he also has to stand on his own two feet, do what's right and be responsible for his mistakes. I feel I did a much better job than my own parents did because I put them through hell when I was growing up... not that I was a bad kid... I just let them know I was going to do exactly what I wanted and as long as they weren't paying my way (I've had a job since I was 13) and they had no say-so...
BTW... Devil's Advocate... I think your post was great...
My 4th wife was around from the time he was 8 years old until he was 16.
Had she not been there to help keep all of us in line, it could have been a different story.
Thanks...I very much agreed with yours and others on here as well. What an amazingly challenging, rewarding and agonizing experience to raise children that I will hopefully one day get to experience first hand... :rollside: :wink:

MR HARLEY
08-30-2006, 02:26 PM
My girlfriend just finished paying her student loan off about three weeks ago and she will be 33 years old tomorrow.
DA dosent look a day over 25. :)
Happy Birthday !!

Devil's Advocate
08-30-2006, 02:35 PM
DA dosent look a day over 25. :)
Happy Birthday !!
You're my new best friend... :D
Thank you.. :)

MR HARLEY
08-30-2006, 02:40 PM
You're my new best friend... :D
Thank you.. :)
No problem. :)
So you headed out to the regatta on friday night? :crossx:

USCFAN
08-30-2006, 02:47 PM
[QUOTE=No Name]Wow, lots of opinions on this mater.
My girlfriend just finished paying her student loan off about three weeks ago and she will be 33 years old tomorrow. ( Happy birthday baby)
QUOTE]
I wonder who this is? :rollside:

Bradman
08-30-2006, 02:53 PM
Wow, lots of opinions on this mater.
His Mother, Step Father and I have decided what to do. We will be taking his truck away until next summer and cutting his allowance in half. If things improve with him over this next school year we will fix his truck and return it to him. He has always been a pretty good kid and very respectful up to now. He has really let his Mother, Step Father and myself down this time.
As far as student loans I would rather him not have that burden when he graduates. My girlfriend just finished paying her student loan off about three weeks ago and she will be 33 years old tomorrow. ( Happy birthday baby) Some of you may disagree with me but I have to do what I think will be best for him, after all I know him better then anyone (or at least I thought I did). We all make mistakes; I know I made many when growing up as IÂ’m sure most people have.
Maybe this was a good thing and we will all learn something from it. All kids are different so what works for one may not work for the other. This is my only one so I have to just play it as it comes and do what I think is best. I know I may not make all the right choices and IÂ’m sure IÂ’ve done some things wrong along the way, but I do the best I can and IÂ’m hopeful things will work out in the end.
Thanks for the input everyone.
My wife who is now 43 years of age paid off her student loans when she was the same age as your girlfriend. Not once in her life did she EVER think of her loans as a burden, but as a huge accomplisment. My wife, on her own, got a BA and a Masters degree and would do it all over again for the feeling she had when she made that last student loan payment.

Dezertrider
08-30-2006, 02:59 PM
Take the truck
Hand him a unicyle
He could be in Jail on alot bigger trouble then he is.
Just remember when you were a kid and that should answer all of your questions. I got away with alot when I was a kid and I was lucky.

Devil's Advocate
08-30-2006, 03:04 PM
My wife who is now 43 years of age paid off her student loans when she was the same age as your girlfriend. Not once in her life did she EVER think of her loans as a burden, but as a huge accomplisment. My wife, on her own, got a BA and a Masters degree and would do it all over again for the feeling she had when she made that last student loan payment.
I just said the same exact thing today about how awesome I felt to make that last payment. It felt so good and I felt that the money I paid was all worth it in the end... And, I did it on my own... :)

My Man's Sportin' Wood
08-30-2006, 03:09 PM
I guess I should have put a smile behind that one. I was just being facetious with that statement as I am a Sig Ep.
I was hoping that was the case. :D

HavasuSelect
08-30-2006, 03:10 PM
Take the truck
Hand him a unicyle
He could be in Jail on alot bigger trouble then he is.
Just remember when you were a kid and that should answer all of your questions. I got away with alot when I was a kid and I was lucky.
I'd say so. Possible DUI and Hit and Run. Strike 1 and 2!

ECeptor
08-30-2006, 04:41 PM
I'd say so. Possible DUI and Hit and Run. Strike 1 and 2!
2 strike and the truck goes away for a semester...seems right - NOT!

No Name
08-30-2006, 06:39 PM
2 strike and the truck goes away for a semester...seems right - NOT!
Wrong, the truck is gone until next summer and his allowance has been cut in half.
Maybe I should just take him out to a field and shoot him, :rolleyes: itÂ’s not like I ever did anything like that.
The kid focked up plain and simple, itÂ’s not the end of the world.

Tom Brown
08-30-2006, 06:45 PM
I'd sue Ford for building a truck that does not prevent someone from getting drunk and wrecking it. You could probably sue Mazda too, since they helped build the thing. :mad:

HavasuSelect
08-30-2006, 06:45 PM
Wrong, the truck is gone until next summer and his allowance has been cut in half.
Maybe I should just take him out to a field and shoot him, :rolleyes: itÂ’s not like I ever did anything like that.
The kid focked up plain and simple, itÂ’s not the end of the world.
We've all messed up. Hopefully he learned his lesson. Something similar happened to me like with your son in which I got out of a potentially horrible situation. i'm scared straight now and I'm sure your son will be too. Time heals everything.

No Name
08-30-2006, 06:51 PM
We've all messed up. Hopefully he learned his lesson. Something similar happened to me like with your son in which I got out of a potentially horrible situation. i'm scared straight now and I'm sure your son will be too. Time heals everything.
Exactly, thank you.

Moneypitt
08-30-2006, 07:35 PM
I think, and killer or another LE can probably verify, that the "hit and run" carries a license revocation. Not suspension, revocation, like gone.....So giving back the truck would be aiding and abeiting a future crime.....MP

topless
08-31-2006, 01:02 AM
No Name, you never should have started this thread. Not only that but came back to say you punished him just a little bit.WTF ARE YOU THINKING???? He doesn't really even need the truck much less his god given right to 1/2 his allowance.You already said his food is free, he lives in a feaking party central house, and he doesn't have to face the REAL consequences for his drunken actions because you and his mom are allowing this. What kind of punishment is this anyway? Sounds like a half a slap on the hand. Perhaps making him get a job to PAY for the damage he caused and when it is paid off, he can buy the truck from you. As of right now, do you think he realizes that money doesn't grow on trees? I think not because you obviously bailed him out once again.

ECeptor
08-31-2006, 06:25 AM
Wrong, the truck is gone until next summer and his allowance has been cut in half.
Maybe I should just take him out to a field and shoot him, :rolleyes: itÂ’s not like I ever did anything like that.
The kid focked up plain and simple, itÂ’s not the end of the world.
What about the people that he hit? Drunk driver hits someone and leave scene of the accident. That's a very, very serious crime. Yet as it's said here he still lives in a party house, still has 100% of his bills paid plus $250/month spending cash.
What would you do if a drunk driver hit your kid and then drove off? I bet you'd hire a high dollar lawyer and go after their ass!
And yes, I have gotten in trouble. Never anything as stupid as a felony because no matter how drunk I've been I alway has at least enough sense not to cross that line. But when I f-ed up, I got my self out of the mess and I love and admire my parents for letting me learn that lesson. Fall down, skin your knee, get back up, learn and move forward - that's life.
Who said anything about shooting your kid? I didn't realize forced fiscial responsibilty was murder... :rolleyes:

Bradman
08-31-2006, 07:15 AM
Wrong, the truck is gone until next summer and his allowance has been cut in half.
Maybe I should just take him out to a field and shoot him, :rolleyes: itÂ’s not like I ever did anything like that.
The kid focked up plain and simple, itÂ’s not the end of the world.
What would your dad of done to you if the shoe were on the other foot? I know what my father would of done to me. :mad: He might not have taken me out into a field and shot me, but he would have taken be out into a field and kicked my AZZZZZZZZZ. :cry:

Bradman
08-31-2006, 08:37 AM
Enough said.

jkh04200
08-31-2006, 08:37 AM
All of us with kids want ours to have it better than we did. Simple fact.
Look at the welfare system. It has failed. All this country has done is teach people how to be dependant. Exact same thing with our kids. It is our job as parents to parent. Friendship is optional. We are raising this countries future. It is our job to mold our kids into resposible adults.
NOT TEACHING OUR KIDS HOW TO BECOME RESPONSIBLE ADULTS IS CHILD ABUSE. PERIOD............

RitcheyRch
08-31-2006, 08:55 AM
Well stated.
No Name, you never should have started this thread. Not only that but came back to say you punished him just a little bit.WTF ARE YOU THINKING???? He doesn't really even need the truck much less his god given right to 1/2 his allowance.You already said his food is free, he lives in a feaking party central house, and he doesn't have to face the REAL consequences for his drunken actions because you and his mom are allowing this. What kind of punishment is this anyway? Sounds like a half a slap on the hand. Perhaps making him get a job to PAY for the damage he caused and when it is paid off, he can buy the truck from you. As of right now, do you think he realizes that money doesn't grow on trees? I think not because you obviously bailed him out once again.

ratso
08-31-2006, 09:12 AM
I'd sue Ford for building a truck that does not prevent someone from getting drunk and wrecking it. You could probably sue Mazda too, since they helped build the thing. :mad:
I thought Ford built Mazda... :confused:
BTW Tom, did you know that Glastron also built Conroy?

jxr02
08-31-2006, 09:36 AM
Sold the truck and used the cash to take my mom on a cruise. Stopped paying his Frat dues and suggested he get a job so he could afford the apartment he was going to need during the summer since his room was being turned into a hunting trophy room.
If you don't kick his a$$, the world will do it for you, and you'll be cleaning up the mess until they cart you off to the old folk's home.

Wild Horses
08-31-2006, 10:13 AM
All of us with kids want ours to have it better than we did. Simple fact.
Look at the welfare system. It has failed. All this country has done is teach people how to be dependant. Exact same thing with our kids. It is our job as parents to parent. Friendship is optional. We are raising this countries future. It is our job to mold our kids into resposible adults.
NOT TEACHING OUR KIDS HOW TO BECOME RESPONSIBLE ADULTS IS CHILD ABUSE. PERIOD............
I agree with this, to many people enable their kids/young adults and they wonder why people just won't give my kids a break!

No Name
08-31-2006, 12:24 PM
I think I will forward a link for this thread to my son. I hope he will enjoy it as much as I have. :D :D
Hope you like it Mark. :mad:

ratso
08-31-2006, 12:25 PM
I think I will forward a link for this thread to my son. I hope he will enjoy it as much as I have. :D :D
Hope you like it Mark. :mad:
It won't be the first Internet Ass Whippin' dished out around here... :crossx:

No Name
08-31-2006, 12:27 PM
It won't be the first Internet Ass Whippin' dished out around here... :crossx:
That's for sure. :)

topless
08-31-2006, 12:27 PM
I think I will forward a link for this thread to my son. I hope he will enjoy it as much as I have. :D :D
Hope you like it Mark. :mad:Make sure he sees my signature. :crossx: :crossx:

No Name
08-31-2006, 12:30 PM
Make sure he sees my signature. :crossx: :crossx:
IÂ’m sure he will, but then he will just think IÂ’m sticking up for him. :)
Like he always does. :mad:

YeLLowBoaT
08-31-2006, 12:33 PM
I think I will forward a link for this thread to my son. I hope he will enjoy it as much as I have. :D :D
Hope you like it Mark. :mad:
In that case sell the truck, cut him off, make him go to the ppl car he hit and say he is sorry and is going to pay for it.

No Name
08-31-2006, 12:34 PM
Make sure he sees my signature. :crossx: :crossx:
And donÂ’t be surprised if you get a PM from No Name JR. :D :D

topless
08-31-2006, 12:42 PM
And donÂ’t be surprised if you get a PM from No Name JR. :D :D
Cool, then I can change my signature again. :)

ratso
08-31-2006, 12:45 PM
Cool, then I can change my signature again. :)
He'll probably come rearend your truck with his new Schwinn... :jawdrop: :D

topless
08-31-2006, 12:48 PM
He'll probably come rearend your truck with his new Schwinn... :jawdrop: :DROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Her454
08-31-2006, 12:51 PM
He'll probably come rearend your truck with his new Schwinn... :jawdrop: :D
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This place is full of comedians today!

YeLLowBoaT
08-31-2006, 12:51 PM
He'll probably come rearend your truck with his new Schwinn... :jawdrop: :D
I could say something about this, but I will keep it too myself.... or until I can't stand it any longer.

doesitfloat?
08-31-2006, 12:52 PM
Sounds to me like you might be just a little too late. He has never had to pay for shit in his life and still to this day Mommy and Daddy are covering his ass. He should be charged with a felony. He was drunk at the time too or he wouldn't have run. You nd Mommy need to cut his ass off............oh but that won't happen because you want to give him everything you never had including resposibility.
The end
Absolutely 100% what I was thinking.
I love the part about, "If things don't change...". WTF, it's kind of like saying, "If you crash your truck, while drunk driving, and pull a hit and run...just one more time, you're in big trouble, mister".
IMHO, the lieing to you is the biggest problem...and by you bailing him out (truck, legally, $$$), you are part of the problem. You sound like a good, caring father...but it's time to stop wiping his ass. Him: get a job and a bike.

CBadDad
08-31-2006, 12:57 PM
I've been following this thread and its quite interesting how some of you (us) are reacting. I agree with most that the umbilical cord needs to be cut and Jr needs to grow up and take resposibility for his actions. Lying to mom and dad and then crying so they will clean up his mess is the actions of a child not a young man, and he definately needs to grow up.
Having said all of that. The problem No Name has is that if he follows others advice, he risk making other peoples mistakes. He know what is best for his son. So far, NN has done a fair job raising his kid. I mean how many kids drop out of school, get caught up in drugs and what not.
Raising kids is the hardest thing I've ever done. Best of luck to you No Name.

lucky
08-31-2006, 01:05 PM
yea - and if all else fails - give him a couple of beers and MAKE him chaffore you around the Channel --

Devil's Advocate
08-31-2006, 01:35 PM
He'll probably come rearend your truck with his new Schwinn... :jawdrop: :D
LMFAO... :D :D

Devil's Advocate
08-31-2006, 01:37 PM
Absolutely 100% what I was thinking.
...but it's time to stop wiping his ass.
Stop wiping it and start WHIPPING it... :crossx:

ratso
08-31-2006, 01:38 PM
Stop wiping it and start WHIPPING it... :crossx:
If you're doin' the whippin'... I'll be a really really baaaaaaaaad boy. :crossx:

Devil's Advocate
08-31-2006, 01:41 PM
If you're doin' the whippin'... I'll be a really really baaaaaaaaad boy. :crossx:
Why you little bad boy....damn it, go to my room.. :crossx:

ratso
08-31-2006, 01:44 PM
Why you little bad boy....damn it, go to my room.. :crossx:
:jawdrop: :D :crossx:

doesitfloat?
08-31-2006, 02:26 PM
Stop wiping it and start WHIPPING it... :crossx:
Lol, damn, I just corrected that spelling error after rereading. I knew someone would ding me for it!

Devil's Advocate
08-31-2006, 02:33 PM
Lol, damn, I just corrected that spelling error after rereading. I knew someone would ding me for it!
No, you were right. Two different words and meanings... :crossx:

FREIND OF AA AND TA
08-31-2006, 02:48 PM
I went through this when I was 16 in my Moms truck and got away with everything thank God. I did learn a valuable lesson. The scared to death part was enough for me. I was scared of my DAD not the cops. I have a feeling this kid is not affraid of anything.
Jr, if you do read this go make it good with evrybody involved. Pay for your own stuff and make it right. The CARMA God will never forget it if you don't.
The Carma God does not fuccc around, TRUST ME!!!!

doesitfloat?
08-31-2006, 03:05 PM
No, you were right. Two different words and meanings... :crossx:
Duh...I get it. I'm doing to the ***boat "touch and go" today. You know, in between bids, I hit HB for a quick read then back to work then HB...
I'm not very focused right now... :cool:
Let's just end this thread right now. NoName, just kill the little ingrate and start over with a new kid. I'll send you two of 'em by tonight, potty trained and all! (You still have to wipe the little one, though)...deal?

Devil's Advocate
08-31-2006, 03:35 PM
Duh...I get it. I'm doing to the ***boat "touch and go" today. You know, in between bids, I hit HB for a quick read then back to work then HB...
I'm not very focused right now... :cool:
Let's just end this thread right now. NoName, just kill the little ingrate and start over with a new kid. I'll send you two of 'em by tonight, potty trained and all! (You still have to wipe the little one, though)...deal?
:crossx: I'll see if he can make a "contribution" for me and then I can cook one up from scratch...A little different genes mixing it up this time... :crossx: :hammer2: