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MRS FLYIN VEE
09-22-2006, 08:08 PM
3 guys died and when they got to the pearly gates St. Peter met them there.
St. Peter said, "I know that you guys are forgiven because you are here but before I let you into heaven I have to ask you all a couple of questions, make sure you tell the truth because if you don't we will have to ask you to visit the beast below. Your answers will also determin what kind of car you will get. You have to have a car here because Heaven is so big."
St. Peter asked the first man," How long were you married?"
The guy replied, " 24 years."
St. Peter then asked, "Did you ever cheat on your wife?"
The guy said, "Yeah, About 10 times, but you said I was forgiven."
Peter said, "Yes, but thats not so good, Here's a Pinto for you to drive."
The second guy got the same question at which he replied,"I was married for 41 years and cheated on her only once, but that was during our first year and we worked it out, and I have beed faithful since."
Peter said, "I am pleased to hear that, Here's a mercedes SUV for you to drive."
The 3rd guy said "Peter I know what you are going to ask, I was married for 63 years and didn't even look at another woman! I treated my wife like a queen."
Peter said,"Now thats what I like to hear, Here is a Jaguar for you to drive."
alittle while later the 2 guys driving the SUV and pinto saw the guy with the Jaguar crying on the golden sidewalk, so they went to see what was the matter.
When they asked him what was wrong, he tearfuly replied,
"I just saw my wife and she was on a skateboard."

CARLSON-JET
09-22-2006, 09:36 PM
You have had some Good Funnies Mrs. "V". So here's back at ya.
A married couple is driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband is behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, "Honey, I know we've been married for 15 years, but, I want a divorce."
The husband says nothing but slowly increases speed to 60 mph.
She then says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it, because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and he's a much better lover than you."
Again the husband stays quiet and just speeds up as his anger increases.
She says, "I want the house." Again the husband speeds up, and now is doing 70 mph.
She says, "I want the kids, too."
The husband just keeps driving faster, and faster, now he's up to 80 mph.
She says, "I want the car, the checking account, and all the credit cards, too."
The husband slowly starts to veer toward a bridge overpass piling, as she says, "Is there anything you want?"
The husband says, "No, I've got everything I need."
She asks, "What's that?"
The husband replies just before they hit the wall at 90 mph, "I've got
the airbag!"