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View Full Version : Is an online affair cheating?



partytime
10-06-2006, 07:59 AM
I don't post much here but I do read a lot here and as such I thought I would get an objective opinion .
So is an online affair cheating? My soon to be exwife says no.
About 4 weeks ago I find out my wife has been having an online affair begining 4 weeks prior. Those things include cyber sex, making and receiving phone calls at work to this other man and emailing quite questionable photos of herself to her "lover". So, what would you do?
When I confronted her she denied it but then she finally states she is in love with him and tells me to leave. After a couple of days she recants and states she only said that to get me out.
This guy, he is married too...
Before you answer here is more information:
We've been married for 10 years
I have never strayed since we met, period. Never even considered it.
Overall, the marriage has been good.
There are no kids.
I have worshiped her since the day we met but I have not been a pushover.
I have been struggling with this big time.
It looks as though the marriage is over. God, I just can't believe this.
This is one time I f*cking hate the internet.

HM
10-06-2006, 08:03 AM
Paging Mr. Ratso. Will Mr. Ratso please pickup the white courtesy phone.

Silver
10-06-2006, 08:04 AM
Yes!

DILLIGAF
10-06-2006, 08:04 AM
When an emotional bond is made it is hard to deal with that. They have taken it further than the internet based on phone calls and so forth. Sounds bad as far as I am concerned.

Jyruiz
10-06-2006, 08:05 AM
I would get the F**K out, now before you have kids and make things harder.

phebus
10-06-2006, 08:10 AM
If you rely on ***boat advice for your marraige, you probably shouldn't be married!!!

Warlockjer
10-06-2006, 08:11 AM
Yep, get the F#&k out!!!!!!! Better yet, kick her ass out!!!!!!!!

partytime
10-06-2006, 08:11 AM
The marriage is over. This is killing me. I put the house up for sale and I am moving on.
I can't sleep or eat. I have lost 17 lbs so far. Was at 195. She continues to tell me she loves me...
I just don't get it.

partytime
10-06-2006, 08:11 AM
If you rely on ***boat advice for your marraige, you probably shouldn't be married!!!
Just want to know if I am out of line...

little rowe boat
10-06-2006, 08:12 AM
Definately, she has betrayed your trust. Which will always make you suspicious of her actions.

deltaAce
10-06-2006, 08:12 AM
Bounderies get stretched, you caught her tunneling under the fence. Laying the ground work for sex IS cheating! If she didn't admitt doing wrong it's only going to get worse.

Singleton
10-06-2006, 08:12 AM
One Word = YES

707dog
10-06-2006, 08:14 AM
HMMM..I SAY GO BUY A BOAT AND ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR LIFE...I DID..LMAO :cool:

DILLIGAF
10-06-2006, 08:14 AM
If she doesn't think it is cheating ask to read the em's between the two :2purples:
Bottom line...If the trust is gone your marriage is over....

RiverDave
10-06-2006, 08:14 AM
I'd roll and never look back.
Sorry to hear about your situation. If she can't even be loyal at home though.. You gotta roll, it's only going to get worse later.
RD

DILLIGAF
10-06-2006, 08:15 AM
HMMM..I SAY GO BUY A BOAT AND ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR LIFE...I DID..LMAO :cool:
LOL...That's what I did :)

deltaAce
10-06-2006, 08:16 AM
The marriage is over. This is killing me. I put the house up for sale and I am moving on.
I can't sleep or eat. I have lost 17 lbs so far. Was at 195. She continues to tell me she loves me...
I just don't get it.
She's keeping you on standby. I'd bail!

slink
10-06-2006, 08:16 AM
Go F" her best friend or sister and see how she feels

OutCole'd
10-06-2006, 08:17 AM
I figure if I ever had to hide something from my wife, it would be cheating. So since she has been hiding this, I would definately say kick her to the curb. Unless she make a grip load of cash, then I would think about it.

HM
10-06-2006, 08:18 AM
Just want to know if I am out of line...
Only you can decide that, and since you are having trouble deciding, it is no suprise of the shit she is pulling, and you might actually let it go if some azzholes on ***boat tell you it is o.k. By the way, I am not calling any one in particular an azzhole, just everyone. :D

Dominator Scott
10-06-2006, 08:21 AM
I don't post much as such I thought I would get an objective opinion but I do read a lot here.
So is an online affair cheating? She says no.
About 4 weeks ago I find out my wife has been having an online affair including cyber sex, making and receiving phone calls at work and emailing questionable photos of herself to her "lover", what would you do?
Finally, she states she is in love with him and tells you to leave. After a couple of days she recants and states she only said that to get you out.
Oh yeah, he is married too...
Before you answer here is more information:
We've been married for 10 years
I have never strayed since we met, period.
Overall, the marriage has been good.
There are no kids.
I have worshiped her since the day we met but I have not been a pushover.
I have been struggling with this big time.
It looks as though the marriage is over. God I just can't believe this.
This is one time I f*cking hate the internet.
Bounce her sorry azz out the door. :mad: I am on my 3rd wife and I hold a true belief that if they cheat and you forgive them,then you just gave them a license to do it again. Cyber sex or the real deal it's still cheating and if the situation was reversed she would have your azz.
My first and 2nd wife cheated on me and were shown the door with no questions asked. I refuse to tolerate that chit for any reason. Give her the walkin' papers and go find yourself some hot little freak to take your mind off things. There are too many women in the world to put up with that kind of crap so keep your head held high my friend.
My 3rd wife and I have been together for almost 8 years now and I love her to death and she is the best thing that has happened to me. But if she cheats on me I will send her packin' in short order and never look back. For me once the trust is broken it cannot be given back.

Phat Matt
10-06-2006, 08:22 AM
She is done.

ratso
10-06-2006, 08:24 AM
Leave. For whatever reason it is over for her emotionally. 99% of the time they don't get that back, and if you do stay together, it will be for the wrong reasons as far as she is concerned. I would "man up" right now and put her in her place to let her know you will not stand for this BS, because if you don't she will lose even more respect for you than she has already lost. She has shown she could care less about your feelings and the best you can do is show her you don't have any... Walk, don't look back. After you are on the outside looking in at how pathetic she is and realizing she is nothing but a piece of ass that is already practically whoring herself out to the first person that pays her any attention, you will know it was the right decision. Basically she has scarred you emotionally for life while thinking only of herself. You don't have to live with that shit and don't give the bitch the privilege of getting away with it at the expense of your feelings. Life is too fu#king short... :yuk:

jbtrailerjim
10-06-2006, 08:24 AM
I say leave her. I know it's tough but it sounds like her mind is made up. As far as I'm concerned she has broken the trust in your relationship. I know she says there has been no physical contact but it looks like it was going to happen soon.
I despise people who cheat on their spouse. I've been married for 8 years and I've had the cheating discussion with my wife. She knows I will give no second chances. She is out the door if I was to ever catch her cheating on me. That includes any type of internet, e-mail, phone sex, or whatever.

SHAKEN Not Stirred
10-06-2006, 08:25 AM
One Word = YES
I'll do better than that.....
2 words....."HELL YES"
At least there are no kids involved.....That makes it much easier...
She obviously does not look at the relationship like you do.....or did!
She's been done for a while......You just didn't see it, or didn't want to...
It's not going to be easy, but move on......
I feel for you man......After 20 years with my wife, I couldn't imagine going through this and I hope I never have to......
Keep your head up.......
If you've been faithful, then your a good guy and deserve kudos....
Later,
CJG
:mad:

deltaAce
10-06-2006, 08:25 AM
Leave her and find the guy on the other end of her phone/keyboard and beat his ASS...
It's not his fault, unless it's his buddy.

switchin'addiction
10-06-2006, 08:28 AM
Definately, she has betrayed your trust. Which will always make you suspicious of her actions.
Very true statement right there!!
<------Has been there!

Magic34
10-06-2006, 08:29 AM
If my wife did that, it would be over in a second. This is even considering that kids are involved in my situation.
It is worng on so many levels. Sorry you are going through this.
Oh, and if he was married, just to deal with my pain, I'd f*%k his life up too. I'd make sure his wife and entire town knew he was a cheater.

scarabrick2
10-06-2006, 08:30 AM
leave her now!!!!!!! i'm divorced and u will be fine. By the way post some pics for us 2 c or myspace acct or something? we'll fry the cheater.
Sorry if I was the first to ask for pics :)

ROZ
10-06-2006, 08:32 AM
Leave. For whatever reason it is over for her emotionally.
BANG, right on the money!
Women are different. It takes more than just sex for a woman to cheat...

Mr. V-Driver
10-06-2006, 08:33 AM
That Sucks dude! Sorry about your situation! No kids, big relief!!! Best is go get some legal advise about who serves who papers and all thatz involved. Cancell all the credit cards now or put a lock on them. Sign pink slips on cars and toys to a good buddy or family member, like mom or pop. If she's looking, then your in trouble. Cut the emotions, and cut the computer cord.
Get a public storage and start moving stuff to a secret location. Be wary if she's home alone, she might do the same. In fact he might come over and help her move her and your stuff right out of your home. Been done before!
The weight loss is good on your behalf, you'll be in shape to get a hot new
chick that will definately make her sorry and be envious of the relationship that she once had. Change the LOCKS and encourage her to move back to her mom's or g-friends house. Park car in the garage, you don't want a brick through the windshield! Goodluck!!!

ROZ
10-06-2006, 08:35 AM
Don't blame the internet.
True, it only made it easier for her to do what she was always capable of doing.
Oh yea.. I'm sorry to hear you have to go through this crap. It sucks. You're a step ahead of the game since you don't have any children.
You're not alone... My court date is the 24th of this month...

HavaSkank
10-06-2006, 08:39 AM
Marriage if for people who arent coordinated enough to juggle cottonballs
It's highly over rated. At least now you can say "been there, done that." So go out and bone her best friend at the same location you proposed. Have it videotaped so you can edit portions of the tape into your wedding video. That way when she's on the couch drinking that bottle of 2 buck-chuck sobbing like Tammy Faye, reminising of "the good times," you can REALLY twist that knife.
By the way, now that you're single, are you rich and well proportioned?

ROZ
10-06-2006, 08:40 AM
That Sucks dude! Sorry about your situation! No kids, big relief!!! Best is go get some legal advise about who serves who papers and all thatz involved. Cancell all the credit cards now or put a lock on them. Sign pink slips on cars and toys to a good buddy or family member, like mom or pop. If she's looking, then your in trouble. Cut the emotions, and cut the computer cord.
Get a public storage and start moving stuff to a secret location. Be wary if she's home alone, she might do the same. In fact he might come over and help her move her and your stuff right out of your home. Been done before!
The weight loss is good on your behalf, you'll be in shape to get a hot new
chick that will definately make her sorry and be envious of the relationship that she once had. Change the LOCKS and encourage her to move back to her mom's or g-friends house. Park car in the garage, you don't want a brick through the windshield! Goodluck!!!
And whatever you do, DO NOT LEAVE THAT HOUSE... If you're intent on selling she may make the house not showable if she's not really wanting to leave, and that may make it tough to sell...
Stay until she gets tired of you.. she'll leave sooner than later.. especially if she has any degree of guilt..

HEDJUG
10-06-2006, 08:48 AM
I figure if I ever had to hide something from my wife, it would be cheating. So since she has been hiding this, I would definately say kick her to the curb. Unless she make a grip load of cash, then I would think about it.
Agreed 100%.
-If you can't/don't feel comfortable telling what you are doing, it's probably wrong. She cheated.
-If she's is making a buttload of $$, stick around, get some nice toys & a bimbo on the side.

partytime
10-06-2006, 08:49 AM
I figure if I ever had to hide something from my wife, it would be cheating.
Those are my feelings too.

locogringo
10-06-2006, 08:56 AM
If you rely on ***boat advice for your marraige, you probably shouldn't be married!!!
Exactly! LOL. BUt I would also generally agree with what was said here. However if she was truly repentent, remorseful and vowing with her whole being that it was a mistake (being that you have been together for 10 yrs), I personally would be one to forgive. But, you would have to be able to look her in the eyes and see the true regret.
With all the "threads" of swinging, pics and shiat I'm surprised noone chimed in and tried to justify the calamity... hum.
Good luck in whatever you decide, sorry it happened to you.
D

partytime
10-06-2006, 09:00 AM
The guy she "seeing" is married and knows she is married. BTW, I found this on a website she visits. I was shocked to say the least when I found a side of her I did not know existed. Lots of flirting and beyond. I then verified the "affair" though email she sent to her sister. I got bashed pretty hard by her and the sister. It is over but I don't have to like it.

partytime
10-06-2006, 09:05 AM
Great advice right there. I moved out for a week until I talked to my lawyer. He said go back, that it was my house to.
Forensic
I did the same thing too.
She has not admitted any wrong doing. She says it was nothing. I diagree. I would NEVER do that to her. I may not be perfect but I sleep at night. Or at least I did before this happened...

OutCole'd
10-06-2006, 09:05 AM
Fock em for bieng mad. If she had done nothing wrong there wouldn't have been anything to hide. They are just looking for an excuse to make it your fault instead of hers.
Completely agree!

msc5195
10-06-2006, 09:06 AM
Find the guy and go phuck his wife unless she is s dog. You should atleast let her in on the affair.

ultra27jay
10-06-2006, 09:07 AM
In the famous words of Tom leykes. D.T.B.......( dump that bitch). sorry to here about this. good luck. :220v:

Schiada76
10-06-2006, 09:08 AM
Throw her ass out RIGHT NOW!
My neighbor caught his wife in HIS bed with some punk about a month ago. Chased his ass down the street and beat him down, came back and threw all his wifes shit on the lawn and turned the sprinklers on.
He moped around for about two weeks and now has a new girlfriend that is WAY hotter than his ex and he's got the house.

chub
10-06-2006, 09:11 AM
What are the chances of bashing/banging said sister? :p

partytime
10-06-2006, 09:14 AM
Find the guy and go phuck his wife unless she is s dog. You should atleast let her in on the affair.
I am struggling with this one. Part of me wants to tell his wife but why would I make it easier for him and my wife to carry on. This guy has bigger problems than just having an online affair.
Oh and yes both he and his wife are hogs. The fact that he is a pig kills my self esteem.

SHOTKALLIN
10-06-2006, 09:17 AM
Or if he know's that she's married, then it is 50% his fault...
he can only take what she gives him. another words he aint rapin her. Guys are created to get laid. period. we are alpha males, this is what we do. there should be no retaliation. its all on his wife. Tell her to leave the car keys and the bank book on the counter on the way out the door. one of my favorite line from the movie HEAT. :D

gramps
10-06-2006, 09:17 AM
Go F" her best friend or sister and see how she feels
That's what I did to my first wife 30+ years ago..............slept with all hre friends..................we never got back together but it sure made me feel good.

Thorsinc
10-06-2006, 09:17 AM
Sounds like you need a maid to vacuum your house!

DILLIGAF
10-06-2006, 09:17 AM
I am struggling with this one. Part of me wants to tell his wife but why would I make it easier for him and my wife to carry on. This guy has bigger problems than just having an online affair.
Oh and yes both he and his wife are hogs. The fact that he is a pig kills my self esteem.
Your problem is with her and not him. Leave him out of it unless he continues to F with the situation. If it wasn't him it would have been someone else raiding the chicken coop.
I think you should post a pic of her though :)

partytime
10-06-2006, 09:20 AM
Tom, you are right on both comments.
BTW you and I met once at Knollwoods (whatever the place on Green River is) for MN Football.
Thanks

DILLIGAF
10-06-2006, 09:21 AM
Tom, you are right on both comments.
BTW you and I met once at Knollwoods (whatever the place on Green River is) for MN Football.
Thanks
Backwoods?

Cole Trickle
10-06-2006, 09:23 AM
Walk away....
Don't me mean , don't be jealous.(Not worth getting more worked up)
Remember it's not YOUR woman it's just YOUR turn;) :)

partytime
10-06-2006, 09:27 AM
Backwoods?
yeah

SHOTKALLIN
10-06-2006, 09:27 AM
dude you have no kids. your life is just begining. you don't realize how lucky you are. If you were in a child support situation i could see the reason for mopin around. YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN A NEW LEASE ON LIFE! YOU HAVE A FREE PASS TO GO AND BANG NEW TAIL, VEGAS WHEN YOU WANT, RIVER WHEN YOU WANT, NEW BOAT WHEN YOU WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DID YOU EVEN LOOK AT THIS SIDE OF THE COIN??? YOU SHOULD THANK THAT DUDE. HE DID YOU A FAVOR!

Nord
10-06-2006, 09:28 AM
Hey partytime, you live in Corona???

partytime
10-06-2006, 09:30 AM
yes, mountain gate

partytime
10-06-2006, 09:30 AM
at least for now...

phebus
10-06-2006, 09:33 AM
I figure if I ever had to hide something from my wife, it would be cheating.
I'm sorry, but I just can't bring it upon myself to tell my wife of my billet and stereo addiction.
Is that cheating? :)

707dog
10-06-2006, 09:34 AM
I am struggling with this one. Part of me wants to tell his wife but why would I make it easier for him and my wife to carry on. This guy has bigger problems than just having an online affair.
Oh and yes both he and his wife are hogs. The fact that he is a pig kills my self esteem.
sorry bud to hear all this ..there has been some great advise posted on hear..but what happins next is in the eye of the beholder..just dont wanna see a thread on here trying to raise bail $$ for ya!!...been there done that its not worth it..trust me!

OutCole'd
10-06-2006, 09:36 AM
I'm sorry, but I just can't bring it upon myself to tell my wife of my billet and stereo addiction.
Is that cheating? :)
No, that is perfectly acceptable.
Not telling her about your love for Chinchilla's is cheating.

phebus
10-06-2006, 09:37 AM
No, that is perfectly acceptable.
Not telling her about your love for Chinchilla's is cheating.
When she found out about the gerbil's, I just had to move on............

Nord
10-06-2006, 09:37 AM
Well the rule in Corona is to move the F*ck out and talk to a lawyer. You need to cut her out of your life untill then (phone, messages, texts, etc.)
How old are you??

UnionJack
10-06-2006, 09:39 AM
leave her

ratso
10-06-2006, 09:39 AM
I am struggling with this one. Part of me wants to tell his wife but why would I make it easier for him and my wife to carry on. This guy has bigger problems than just having an online affair.
Oh and yes both he and his wife are hogs. The fact that he is a pig kills my self esteem.
Wash your hands of the entire situation... the sooner the better. Do not ever call her, check up on her, drive by to see what's going on... nothing! Out of sight out of mind, or this could drag out for a very long time. Get in charge of your own life again. You will come out a lot stronger in the end. I wouldn't tell the guys wife anything. Chances are she probably already knows. Women can sense that. If you are a stand up guy as you seem to be, she'll realize she f#cked up, and by then you should be in the right frame of mind to tell her to eff off... I have been through things like this more times than I can count, and have been on all sides of it too. Where I will NEVER be again is the husband that gets cheated on.

SHOTKALLIN
10-06-2006, 09:40 AM
stay in your house!!!!

Singleton
10-06-2006, 09:44 AM
Don't leave the house.
Had a buddy in the same situation and he left the house and never got it back. She stayed in the house and when it was time to split the house, her lawyer used that against him big time.
Stay in house and as hard as this sounds and most likely will be, make things hard for her so she moves out.

Aqua Boogie1
10-06-2006, 09:45 AM
First off, it will get better. I find that if she would admit to it then it can be fixed because she's really admiting there is a problem. But by her saying its not true and sticking to it, and you found the emails. Then the best thing is to move on and let continue with her cheating ways. And you find someone who will love you for the person you are. Oh...........the house is also yours, stay there!!!! Continue to live your life but with a few changes.

Nord
10-06-2006, 09:46 AM
Anyone know a lawyer to ask................
Standby....

partytime
10-06-2006, 09:54 AM
I'm 41.We've been married 9 years 9 months.
I just got an email from her. She said she was ill and was going home. She also said have a good day, I love you.
That last part tears up my stomach. Man, women are cruel.

SHOTKALLIN
10-06-2006, 09:56 AM
get ready for the emotional rollercoaster. she knows she effed up. you are gonna hear all kind of mushy crap. Most of all dont bone her or make a kid. move her shit to the guest room before she gets home.

Jyruiz
10-06-2006, 09:58 AM
I'm 41.We've been married 9 years 9 months.
I just got an email from her. She said she was ill and was going home. She also said have a good day, I love you.
That last part tears up my stomach. Man, women are cruel.
File for divorce before the 10 year mark, otherwise you will have to pay her alimony for 5 years, if you make more than her.

DILLIGAF
10-06-2006, 09:59 AM
I'm 41.We've been married 9 years 9 months.
I just got an email from her. She said she was ill and was going home. She also said have a good day, I love you.
That last part tears up my stomach. Man, women are cruel.
Well, if she truley regrets it and will not do it again you can take her back. It is up to you and you only. Once the trust is trampled on though it makes it very hard to ever trust again though.
Soon we will have a Corona get together again. Make sure you make it and we will all cheer you up. Keep your eyes open for a thread about it.
Good luck whatever you do

TAF
10-06-2006, 10:06 AM
I'm sorry, but I just can't bring it upon myself to tell my wife of my billet and stereo addiction.
Is that cheating? :)
This is your second stupid comment today on this thread. This guy has a real problem that he has come to his fellow boaters for advice on and all you can do is make fun of the situation. Many of us have "been in his boat" (situation) so we are qualified.
I think every one here says "get out!", life is too short and there are too many women out there that would love to float your boat and she deserves the guy she's on-line w/ because they both are / have cheated and they both are most likely to do it again to each other. I've seen it all too often.
I got devorced 5 yrs. ago and been lov'n boat'n when ever I want w/ who ever I want. That's the life!

VanDeano
10-06-2006, 10:08 AM
I'm 41.We've been married 9 years 9 months.
I just got an email from her. She said she was ill and was going home. She also said have a good day, I love you.
That last part tears up my stomach. Man, women are cruel.
Oh boy!! Haten to be you for the next 6 months. You are going to be on an emotional ride of your life. :cry: :rollside: :argue: :mad: :confused: :smile: :frown: :D :frown: :eek:

partytime
10-06-2006, 10:08 AM
I had been begging her to work this out. She says she is in a different place in her life. I now realize that it is over. We are living in the same house as I can't pay for two places and she won't leave. All financials have been cut, less the house and her car which is in my name. I'll walk away with enough money from the home sale to be able to keep what I own and still buy a new house. (I hope). Luckily she is letting me keep two of our three dogs without a fight.
No violence, but I'll admit there have been a lot of crying and sleepless nights since...

Wet Dream
10-06-2006, 10:15 AM
First off, you and everyone else knows that its over. Be strong, move on. Now, if its logistically possible, go find the wife of the married guy and fill her in on the situation. A little detective work gets exciting.

Biglue
10-06-2006, 10:20 AM
Knock on wood, I have not crossed that path I hope I don't have to. Sorry to hear about your situation.
Sounds like some good advice from many of these posts. Obviously many of us would be very hurt with this as you are. I saw you mention how she says "I love you" and it eats you up. Perhaps you should let her know to stop the I love you's and just deal with the pending divorce for what it is, if in fact you guys are going to proceed with it. You really don't need her messing your head and emotions up like that. Just an outsider's opinion.
Mind if I ask how long her affair was going?
Best of luck to you wether you decide to divorce or work it out.

CBadDad
10-06-2006, 10:22 AM
FILE THE PAPERS NOW! 10 years is the mark for lifetime spousal support. If its less than 10 years its half the amount of time you were married.
You need to re-read the above quote.
Now run to an attorney and get things started muy pronto. Once the trust is gone the relationship is over. You can drag things on, but it will only make it worse in the end. Do it now and be done.
BTW, the grass is greener on the other side!

ratso
10-06-2006, 10:28 AM
You need to re-read the above quote.
Now run to an attorney and get things started muy pronto. Once the trust is gone the relationship is over. You can drag things on, but it will only make it worse in the end. Do it now and be done.
BTW, the grass is greener on the other side!
...definitely greener, but it still has to be mowed.

partytime
10-06-2006, 10:28 AM
[QUOTE=Biglue]Mind if I ask how long her affair was going? QUOTE]
Since August 11 2006 that I know of, but I believe it was going on before then. That si about when she started dressing nicer, lost a couple of pounds, and I even got more s*x . Now, all I can think of is her thinking of him when we did it. F*ck.

Jyruiz
10-06-2006, 10:30 AM
[QUOTE=Biglue]Mind if I ask how long her affair was going? QUOTE]
Since August 11 2006 that I know of, but I believe it was going on before then. That si about when she started dressing nicer, lost a couple of pounds, and I even got more s*x . Now, all I can think of is her thinking of him when we did it. F*ck.
Who cares of whom she was thinking about, you got yours.

DILLIGAF
10-06-2006, 10:34 AM
Look....I understand your pain and it obviously is tearing you up. You know what you need to do and just want to vent. That is cool but........
Your man card is on the line now. Buck up and take care of it right away.

DesertGirl
10-06-2006, 10:44 AM
Sorry, but you need to split. Cheating is cheating. And of course the next step to an "online" relatinship, is to have a personal, real life relationship. Get out now, before it gets worse, because that is where it's headed.

RitcheyRch
10-06-2006, 10:50 AM
As others have said "leave her and move on". If she is doing cybersex than is only a matter of time before they are bumping uglies.

partytime
10-06-2006, 10:52 AM
Look....I understand your pain and it obviously is tearing you up. You know what you need to do and just want to vent. That is cool but........
Your man card is on the line now. Buck up and take care of it right away.
Today is the first day I have been able to talk, or write as it is, about this. Hell, I haven't even told any of my closest friends. Not sure exactly why that is. But here I am, in public, airing my laundry. Maybe because I don't know many people here personally?
So, this morning while lying in bed I took off my ring for good. Doesn't mean a thing anymore anyhow. Tonight I plan on telling her to stop with the "I love yous" so I can focus on moving on. We did everything together for nearly 10 years but I guess I'll have to do it alone for a while and then maybe with someone else... I wish it was summer...

DILLIGAF
10-06-2006, 10:55 AM
Today is the first day I have been able to talk, or write as it is, about this. Hell, I haven't even told any of my closest friends. Not sure exactly why that is. But here I am, in public, airing my laundry. Maybe because I don't know many people here personally?
So, this morning while lying in bed I took off my ring for good. Doesn't mean a thing anymore anyhow. Tonight I plan on telling her to stop with the "I love yous" so I can focus on moving on. We did everything together for nearly 10 years but I guess I'll have to do it alone for a while and then maybe with someone else... I wish it was summer...
There you go...that's a step in the right direction. Sorry it had to happen. It sucks, I know

Aqua Boogie1
10-06-2006, 11:01 AM
Today is the first day I have been able to talk, or write as it is, about this. Hell, I haven't even told any of my closest friends. Not sure exactly why that is. But here I am, in public, airing my laundry. Maybe because I don't know many people here personally?
So, this morning while lying in bed I took off my ring for good. Doesn't mean a thing anymore anyhow. Tonight I plan on telling her to stop with the "I love yous" so I can focus on moving on. We did everything together for nearly 10 years but I guess I'll have to do it alone for a while and then maybe with someone else... I wish it was summer...
I wrote some things earlier about your problem, but all Im going to say is good luck and again.....................IT WILL GET BETTER!!!!!!

ratso
10-06-2006, 11:06 AM
Today is the first day I have been able to talk, or write as it is, about this. Hell, I haven't even told any of my closest friends. Not sure exactly why that is. But here I am, in public, airing my laundry. Maybe because I don't know many people here personally?
So, this morning while lying in bed I took off my ring for good. Doesn't mean a thing anymore anyhow. Tonight I plan on telling her to stop with the "I love yous" so I can focus on moving on. We did everything together for nearly 10 years but I guess I'll have to do it alone for a while and then maybe with someone else... I wish it was summer...
I got about 5 of those "rings" at the bottom of Lake Waco... ;)

ratso
10-06-2006, 11:07 AM
Today is the first day I have been able to talk, or write as it is, about this. Hell, I haven't even told any of my closest friends. Not sure exactly why that is. But here I am, in public, airing my laundry. Maybe because I don't know many people here personally?
So, this morning while lying in bed I took off my ring for good. Doesn't mean a thing anymore anyhow. Tonight I plan on telling her to stop with the "I love yous" so I can focus on moving on. We did everything together for nearly 10 years but I guess I'll have to do it alone for a while and then maybe with someone else... I wish it was summer...
At least on here people are gonna tell you how it is... no sugarcoating.

Magic34
10-06-2006, 11:09 AM
Today is the first day I have been able to talk, or write as it is, about this. Hell, I haven't even told any of my closest friends. Not sure exactly why that is. But here I am, in public, airing my laundry. Maybe because I don't know many people here personally?
So, this morning while lying in bed I took off my ring for good. Doesn't mean a thing anymore anyhow. Tonight I plan on telling her to stop with the "I love yous" so I can focus on moving on. We did everything together for nearly 10 years but I guess I'll have to do it alone for a while and then maybe with someone else... I wish it was summer...
If you know this and the 10 year thing is true with alimony.... You need to file ASAP and not let her know it is coming.
Dont say anything about the "i love you" or anything else. Let the papers hit her ASAP like a ton of bricks!
Seriously, if that 10 year alimony thing is even 50% correct, I would get this done today.

Magic34
10-06-2006, 11:10 AM
I got about 5 of those "rings" at the bottom of Lake Waco... ;)
What did you do with the other 10 then? :D

CBadDad
10-06-2006, 11:13 AM
...definitely greener, but it still has to be mowed.
Ya, that's why I pay Julio $100 bucks a month to keep it looking good.
Partytime, you got a bumpy road ahead of you. It gets better I assure you of that. Keep your chin up and you shoulders back. Get some fresh air and some excersice and then drink until your liver begs you to stop (just don't drive). Whatever it takes. There are a lot of cool women out there that will be honest and faithful to you, so don't be afraid to move forward. Time heals all wounds, you'll look back on all of this one day and laugh. And she'll be sorry.
Gotta run. Gonna go pck up my hot lil spinner girlfriend and get some lunch while I watch the A's finish off the Twins. :)

Magic34
10-06-2006, 11:45 AM
Ya, that's why I pay Julio $100 bucks a month to keep it looking good.
Partytime, you got a bumpy road ahead of you. It gets better I assure you of that. Keep your chin up and you shoulders back. Get some fresh air and some excersice and then drink until your liver begs you to stop (just don't drive). Whatever it takes. There are a lot of cool women out there that will be honest and faithful to you, so don't be afraid to move forward. Time heals all wounds, you'll look back on all of this one day and laugh. And she'll be sorry.
Gotta run. Gonna go pck up my hot lil spinner girlfriend and get some lunch while I watch the A's finish off the Twins. :)
Hopefully he is at the attorney's office now.

wsuwrhr
10-06-2006, 11:49 AM
I would get the F**K out, now before you have kids and make things harder.
Yea what he said.
First you should post some pictures of her, for the court, for reference only.
Brian

wsuwrhr
10-06-2006, 11:51 AM
File for divorce before the 10 year mark, otherwise you will have to pay her alimony for 5 years, if you make more than her.
This is not 100% true,
Especially if there are no children.
Brian

Magic34
10-06-2006, 11:53 AM
This is not 100% true,
Especially if there are no children.
Brian
Just wondering because it was brought up, what is missing in the truth to that?

wsuwrhr
10-06-2006, 11:55 AM
I'm sorry, but I just can't bring it upon myself to tell my wife of my billet and stereo addiction.
Is that cheating? :)
I can HELP you.
Brian

wsuwrhr
10-06-2006, 11:58 AM
Just wondering because it was brought up, what is missing in the truth to that?
We have the best legal system a person can afford.

lucky
10-06-2006, 11:58 AM
If you rely on ***boat advice for your marraige, you probably shouldn't be married!!!
lmao No shit - with that said -- ask her if she'll join you and your bisexual cyber friend for a good oll fashoin pussy eating contest -- that ought to get her goat -- Trust me - it's easy to get rid of them - just be your self :) it workded for me - ( really advise from this site is like asking the rain man what color bubble gum he likes )

Howie Feltersnatch
10-06-2006, 12:01 PM
When your wife tells you she's in love with someone else it's over. Tell her adios & don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya.

partytime
10-06-2006, 12:19 PM
My real estate agent just told me our house sold. In 4 days. It looks like my new life will be starting soon...
My nerves are shot.

Magic34
10-06-2006, 12:21 PM
My real estate agent just told me our house sold. In 4 days. It looks like my new life will be starting soon...
My nerves are shot.
You need to be the one who files though. Have you at least started talking to an attorney?

Singleton
10-06-2006, 12:26 PM
Remember in the state of CA a divorse takes six month to complete from the day the other party is served.
Get it filed soon, or you are going to have 2 tax years (06 and maybe 07) of dealing with a shitty tax situations.

Magic
10-06-2006, 12:27 PM
This is not 100% true,
Especially if there are no children.
Brian
If I'm reading this right. http://www.california-alimony-laws.com/ In California a marriage of 10 years or more is considered a lengthy marriage, and a termination of spousal support cannot be granted by a judge. Therefore no options in regards to length of time when granting alimony. (In other words: Lifetime Alimony)
Paying lifetime alimony sounds like total B.S. to me. Whatever your doing head for the nearest divorce attorney NOW !
I'm positive you will find someone else who is totally into whatever you like doing, and is completly honest & faithful. But until then I'd go get more ass than your toilet seat. :rollside:

centerhill condor
10-06-2006, 12:30 PM
well, you've posted on a boater site for help...she's only yours while you're in her.
This will pass and you'll be better for it. Hire a good lawyer and get that part completed. After a while, you won't want to be in her mental game. Some folks stray...happens all the time. At least its with another man!
My wife left me for another woman...her mother!
best of luck.

Tom Brown
10-06-2006, 12:33 PM
Hang in there, Partytime. I have no experience or wisdom to offer but you do have my best wishes.

Deano
10-06-2006, 12:43 PM
I have been going through the same thing for over a year now. My divorce will be final in a few months. I have children so it's alittle different. The best advise I can give you is, go get an attorney now! Eventhough I was on a emotional rollercoaster ride, my divorce was moving on. That is what gave/gives me peace. I alway knew that if we decided to reconcile, It wouldn't be that big of a deal to get rid of the paperwork.
You are going to feel like shit about everything for a while. But, believe me my friend, there are alot of dirty little birdies out there that can take care of you. Probably alot better than your wife did. I am waaay happier doing what the hell I want to do... Havasu, river, vegas, cabo whatever, whenever, with whoever. I know the right woman is out there for me. I just haven't found her yet. I'm not in a hurry either
You need to involve your friends and family so they can support you and talk to you when your down. Bring you to Vegas on a hooker and blow trip perhaps, lol
I can give you my attorneys number. PM me. Just make sure you get the ball rolling..now. Hang in there...it gets better.

ratso
10-06-2006, 12:50 PM
What did you do with the other 10 then? :D
Hey, that's not fair... :jawdrop: :D

Miss Jackie
10-06-2006, 01:16 PM
I really feel for you guy...no one deserves to be lied to or cheated on.
But listen to some of the responses you've gotten on this thread, I know personally that some of these people would say the same thing to you face to face at the river or over a few cold ones.
Like my Dad & a friend told me..."Count your losses and move on, your not alone, you do have family and friends that are here for you".
Sorry. :(
Jackie

SummerBreeze
10-06-2006, 01:35 PM
Sorry to here
I have been there before and I would tell to f off. Most chicks are the same when it comes to this kind of crap. I know your pain dude ... it's like no other and you need to get her ass out of your life as soon as you you can.
You need to tell yourself it's over and you can't fix it any way any how once you do that you will begin to feel better
good luck

CHEETAH24
10-06-2006, 01:35 PM
since the same thing happened to me (or pretty close anyway),life has been great.Lets see...2 new quads 1 new toyhauler 1 new boat and a girlfriend that really cares...what could be better?
Anyway drop her like a hot rock and forget it.It only gets better from here.

spectras only
10-06-2006, 01:45 PM
3rd wife and I have been together for almost 8 years now and I love her to death and she is the best thing that has happened to me.
DS , she must love green :rollside:

UnionJack
10-06-2006, 01:53 PM
Is going and getting a lap dance cheating? Some would think yes because of what your thinking about when it's happening

robsformula
10-06-2006, 01:58 PM
go file and when you are done, come back and take a look at the amazingly hot check thread and see what you have been missing or could be getting. :crossx: good luck and hang in there

superdave013
10-06-2006, 02:03 PM
DS , she must love green :rollside:
lol :)

ahhell
10-06-2006, 02:03 PM
yeah its cheating...BUT...if the both of you have any sort of desire to get back toghether dont go thru life wondering ""what if". Do you still love her? does she love you? give it a try and if it works great if not...well you tried
yeah .....Im talking from experience, similar, but differant and its never been better...many years now
and I lost 35 #'s, but it found me and brought freinds

lucky
10-06-2006, 02:10 PM
I had been begging her to work this out. She says she is in a different place in her life. I now realize that it is over. We are living in the same house as I can't pay for two places and she won't leave. All financials have been cut, less the house and her car which is in my name. I'll walk away with enough money from the home sale to be able to keep what I own and still buy a new house. (I hope). Luckily she is letting me keep two of our three dogs without a fight.
No violence, but I'll admit there have been a lot of crying and sleepless nights since...
ok - let me say this again --- If your done your done ! staying - while your trying to move on will only fock you up -- This is what i did with #2 asked her six times in a two week period if this is what she wanted -- she said yes and i believed her --- next day filed papers , and dumped the house with a 15 day escrow - lost 80 grand - was it worth it ---- YEPPPPPP -- paid our bills off and split the difference ---- three days later was up with the Modern outlaw Crew - Feeling real good about life --- take charge of your Destiny -- ps - with in a month of seperation -- the word was out and the girls started calling -- my only problem now is i like my life and don't want to get close to any one ( well robs 27 y/o cousing - but that would be short term lmao -- ) just kidding rob -- any ways ---- PUNT

lucky
10-06-2006, 02:11 PM
Knock on wood, I have not crossed that path I hope I don't have to. Sorry to hear about your situation.
Sounds like some good advice from many of these posts. Obviously many of us would be very hurt with this as you are. I saw you mention how she says "I love you" and it eats you up. Perhaps you should let her know to stop the I love you's and just deal with the pending divorce for what it is, if in fact you guys are going to proceed with it. You really don't need her messing your head and emotions up like that. Just an outsider's opinion.
Mind if I ask how long her affair was going?
Best of luck to you wether you decide to divorce or work it out.
your such a man ***** - does your wife know you talk dirty to other guys = fag :)

acatitude
10-06-2006, 02:12 PM
Go F" her best friend or sister and see how she feels
I agree with slink...... my ex did that to me and I did her boyfriends wife...... didnt help save anything but I felt better and it really pissed off my ex when she found out it was in our bed........ some nerve she had getting mad..... lol women

wsuwrhr
10-06-2006, 02:22 PM
I agree with slink...... my ex did that to me and I did her boyfriends wife...... didnt help save anything but I felt better and it really pissed off my ex when she found out it was in our bed........ some nerve she had getting mad..... lol women
Do tell for in the interest of the court, just how were you able to pull this off?
For future reference only.
Brian

phebus
10-06-2006, 02:51 PM
This is your second stupid comment today on this thread. This guy has a real problem that he has come to his fellow boaters for advice on and all you can do is make fun of the situation. Many of us have "been in his boat" (situation) so we are qualified.
I think every one here says "get out!", life is too short and there are too many women out there that would love to float your boat and she deserves the guy she's on-line w/ because they both are / have cheated and they both are most likely to do it again to each other. I've seen it all too often.
I got devorced 5 yrs. ago and been lov'n boat'n when ever I want w/ who ever I want. That's the life!
Boy, did you put me in my place, I feel like such an ass now. I guess I'd better go so you can get back to the latest Jerry Springer show. Loser.............
Marital advice on ***boat :rollside: :rollside: :rollside:

ratso
10-06-2006, 02:55 PM
Do tell for in the interest of the court, just how were you able to pull this off?
For future reference only.
Brian
It ain't hard... The world is full of tramps, sluts, whores, liars, cheaters, and backstabbers... male and female...

ShutYaPieHole
10-06-2006, 02:56 PM
Sorry to hear this dude. Ive been there before even posted it on these same boards. The question should not be is it cheating. We all know it is. More importantly is the flat out disrespect she has been showing you and will continue to show you. In my situation I took a step back and ask myself what did i do to deserve this? Absolutely nothing the funny thing is that she will tell you the same shit you did nothing.......My point is that it all boils down to respect. IS SHE RESPECTED U THIS WOULD HAVE NEVER HAPPENED.....
JUST MY 02.CENTS..... MEAN NOTHING MAYBE I OUTTA JUST SHUTMYPIEHOLE

Bense468
10-06-2006, 02:57 PM
myspace = a place for whores

ahhell
10-06-2006, 03:00 PM
Bottom line is you gotta do what you gotta do... what works for one may not work for another, your heart will tell you...my .02

wsuwrhr
10-06-2006, 03:35 PM
I was single once, I did know how to pull tail.
I was trying to figure out how he hooked up with a SPECIFIC chick he didn't know.
Trust me, I understand how the process works, I was just interested in HIS story.
For posterity only of course.
Brian
It ain't hard... The world is full of tramps, sluts, whores, liars, cheaters, and backstabbers... male and female...

acatitude
10-06-2006, 03:41 PM
Do tell for in the interest of the court, just how were you able to pull this off?
For future reference only.
Brian
my ex was messing around with someone she worked with......she had left I found out she was with this guy I knew him just from her work.... so I called his wife and she told me this big story he had told her about needing to find himself etc etc...... so Itold her the real story, she called him and he couldnt deny it and we figured wtf, they are doing it so we did also...... very simple.. the old good for the gander good for the goose and visa versa....

Essex29
10-06-2006, 03:59 PM
Go F" her best friend or sister and see how she feels
I agree :cool:

INSman
10-06-2006, 04:06 PM
Boy, did you put me in my place, I feel like such an ass now. I guess I'd better go so you can get back to the latest Jerry Springer show. Loser.............
Marital advice on ***boat :rollside: :rollside: :rollside:
Rick
This guy being the seasoned ***boat post ***** that he is (135 and counting) obviously knows what he is talking about and you should be ashamed of yourself and maybe even consider a ***boat Forum time out. What could you possibly know with all of your experience here on the boards and life in general ??!!?? :messedup: :2purples: :hammerhea :D

AltarGirl
10-06-2006, 04:59 PM
I think it's terrrible. My aunt pulls that crap online w/people she doesn't know & think it is just really sad when it goes too far. Sorry to hear this

phebus
10-06-2006, 05:03 PM
I think it's terrrible. My aunt pulls that crap online w/people she doesn't know & think it is just really sad when it goes too far. Sorry to hear this
Is she cute? If so, could you please send me her email adddress? (J/K) :)

AltarGirl
10-06-2006, 05:04 PM
Is she cute? If so, could you please send me her email adddress? (J/K) :)
No, no, no. Silly kid.
It was kinda funny!

wsuwrhr
10-06-2006, 06:06 PM
Sweet,
that's funny.
what a way to hook up.
Brian
my ex was messing around with someone she worked with......she had left I found out she was with this guy I knew him just from her work.... so I called his wife and she told me this big story he had told her about needing to find himself etc etc...... so Itold her the real story, she called him and he couldnt deny it and we figured wtf, they are doing it so we did also...... very simple.. the old good for the gander good for the goose and visa versa....

kanedog
10-06-2006, 06:47 PM
tell her you are joining in !!!one big happy 3 some

NoCal NoBoat
10-06-2006, 06:52 PM
partytime -
Sorry to hear about your situation. Are you a California resident ?
You just answered a big question for me. You've been married 9 years 9 months ? Less than 10 years.
Talk to a family law attorney ASAP. Tomorrow, first thing Monday, but ASAP.
I was married 7 years 9 months. In California they call that a "short-term" marriage - I paid alimony for half the length of the marriage. Less than 4 years. If my marriage had been a California "long-term marriage", I might still be paying alimony.
Don't make any sudden decisions or moves without legal advice. She wants separation ? Let her move out. You stay in the house.
Do you want to try to save the marriage ? Does she ?
Counseling is a hell of a lot cheaper than a divorce. But talk to a lawyer soon. Don't counsel yourself past the "long-term" marriage deadline. It's worth an hour's consultation fee to find out where you're at, and what this might cost you.
In my experience, the partner who has already moved on emotionally (your wife, possibly) is thinking like a business partner. She may have already talked to her own advisor (attorney, divorced friend(s), etc).
Take care of yourself. Information is power.

BajaMike
10-06-2006, 07:12 PM
I don't post much here but I do read a lot here and as such I thought I would get an objective opinion .
So is an online affair cheating? My soon to be exwife says no.
About 4 weeks ago I find out my wife has been having an online affair begining 4 weeks prior. Those things include cyber sex, making and receiving phone calls at work to this other man and emailing quite questionable photos of herself to her "lover". So, what would you do?
When I confronted her she denied it but then she finally states she is in love with him and tells me to leave. After a couple of days she recants and states she only said that to get me out.
This guy, he is married too...
Before you answer here is more information:
We've been married for 10 years
I have never strayed since we met, period. Never even considered it.
Overall, the marriage has been good.
There are no kids.
I have worshiped her since the day we met but I have not been a pushover.
I have been struggling with this big time.
It looks as though the marriage is over. God, I just can't believe this.
This is one time I f*cking hate the internet.
Dump the bitch....if she can "fall in love" with an "online date", she is a stupid, gullable, insecure, not-worth-the-time-of-day BITCH.
Just MHO.....
Oh, and sorry dude, this sucks!
:idea:

Cas
10-06-2006, 09:46 PM
there's been lots of good advice mentioned but it's my suggestion you at least go get a legal seperation as of Aug 11....when you found out about the "affair." Doing so we alleviate you of any and all additional liabilities she may have caused. I did that with my ex and she ended up filing for the divorce. I was also able to go back almost 6 months for the seperation date by saying I couldn't afford to move out so I was forced to stay in a seperate bedroom.

C-2
10-06-2006, 10:14 PM
Is she on meds?
Anti-depressants, change in medication?
"Artificial Happines" is suposed to be a good read.

Magic34
10-06-2006, 10:44 PM
Sweet,
that's funny.
what a way to hook up.
Brian
It went like this......
"Hi, your husband is banging my wife." "We should F*@K too!" "OK."

ROZ
10-06-2006, 11:31 PM
Fock em for bieng mad. If she had done nothing wrong there wouldn't have been anything to hide. They are just looking for an excuse to make it your fault instead of hers.
They are "projecting" her guilt onto him... Not at all uncommon
:rolleyes:

ROZ
10-06-2006, 11:38 PM
I'm 41.We've been married 9 years 9 months.
I just got an email from her. She said she was ill and was going home. She also said have a good day, I love you.
That last part tears up my stomach. Man, women are cruel.
Manipulating...

wsuwrhr
10-06-2006, 11:48 PM
That is kinda what I was thinking,
What a sweet setup.
Brian
It went like this......
"Hi, your husband is banging my wife." "We should F*@K too!" "OK."

1978 Rogers
10-06-2006, 11:49 PM
I don't post much here but I do read a lot here and as such I thought I would get an objective opinion .
So is an online affair cheating? My soon to be exwife says no.
About 4 weeks ago I find out my wife has been having an online affair begining 4 weeks prior. Those things include cyber sex, making and receiving phone calls at work to this other man and emailing quite questionable photos of herself to her "lover". So, what would you do?
When I confronted her she denied it but then she finally states she is in love with him and tells me to leave. After a couple of days she recants and states she only said that to get me out.
I haven't read through them all, but I would say YES and she is gone and has been cheating on you. The next step is to get proof. Saying is one thing, proof can/will be shown in a court of law in your favor. Remember, courts always favor the wife. Save emails, anything you can and get a lawyer.
A very good friend of mine is going through a divorse and hes been in jail alread because she threw herself against the wall and claimed he did it. COVER YOUR ASS, PROTECT YOUR BEST YOURSELF. Good Luck.

ROZ
10-06-2006, 11:50 PM
If you know this and the 10 year thing is true with alimony.... You need to file ASAP and not let her know it is coming.
Dont say anything about the "i love you" or anything else. Let the papers hit her ASAP like a ton of bricks!
Seriously, if that 10 year alimony thing is even 50% correct, I would get this done today.
at 10 years they consider it a long term marriage.. do it before your 10th anneversary!

ROZ
10-06-2006, 11:53 PM
This is not 100% true,
Especially if there are no children.
Brian
Child support and alimony are not to be confused.. There are cases where after 10 years of marriage a man has to pay his ex wife for extended amounts of time.. sometimes up until death...

All-Star
10-07-2006, 12:37 AM
I want to tell you first and foremost.....
They do not call it sex for no reason... Sex is sex....
If is is real sex then it is... if it is oral sex then it is... if it is cyber sex... then it is.... If you give your self then it is sex!!!!! Period.
I know... I am guilty. I want to first and foremost say that I am sorry to Jim. He did not deserve what I did to him.
I know that he was busy with building his company for our future.....!!!!! He was trying to make a future for our children. I know that we are all human and we make mistakes. But I lost site of that.... and I was feeling neglected. I stumbled on someone... a mutual friend that made me feel good... at first!!!! He told me what I wanted to hear. It was not like he was going to leave his wife..........He was not getting what he needed in his relationship either. (This does not make it right at all!!!!) This just proves that it takes two to make a relationship work. You have to tell your partner what you are feeling...... when ever you are feeling something funky.... Like you are not feeling wanted or special.... etc. This someone was making me feel that way.... special...........was making me feel great... awesome...... pretty, a good mother... a hard worker... sexy....a good cook....etc. All the things that a woman ( any person) wants to feel. This does not make it right. I am just letting you know that it is easy to get caught up in something before you realize is. I thought... This guy is out of state.... I will never be in the situation to "Actuallly" be with him.... but before you know it... you are thinking of ways to find your self in a situatuon so that you "CAN" be with him.
They do not call it sex for no reason. ..... Sex is sex.... Oral sex is still sex... Cyber sex is still sex.... Regardeless it is wrong and it is sex. If you give someone your heart (as a woman) then it is the same as giving them everything.........
I am so sorry for what I did to Jim... I love him and he just did not know what I needed to have.... to fulfill my needs... That was all my fault... I did not tell him......
So the bottom line for me, as a woman is.... if you are sharing your "Anything" with anyone... then you are cheating. You are supposed to only share things with you husband or your girlfrinnds.....
Just my two cents..... :cool:

1978 Rogers
10-07-2006, 01:27 AM
If you really regret it and are sorry for what you did. Why didn't you just talk to him. If he was hard at work building up a company for you. It seems you were pretty selfish is your needs and not his. Maybe take a lesson from Mrs. Klever or Clever.

All-Star
10-07-2006, 01:51 AM
I did talk to him... Talking about things is the only way to deal with it...
He did not do the company thing for me.. it was for him. I was trying to support him. I got treated like shit while it was happenening. I realized what had happened after it had already happened. I am sorry. I feel that the first step to recovery is first ......admitting that you had a problem to begin with. WE HAVE OVER CAME THIS..... I was wrong.... I admit that.!! But as a human he recognised that he had some fault too. He never talked to me, he never had sex with me, he only yelled at me......NOT TOTALLY HIS FAULT... He just realized things were wrong at the end........ I was just LOOKING or SEARCHING for something that he was not giving me.....But it does take two to tango. I fully admit I was wrong. I am not avoiding that.!! You can call me a piece of shiat if you want..... But you & I know what I did was wrong, and I am admitting that publicilly, and I am moving forward as well as Him, together with myself..... I do not want to lose what I have.... PERIOD!!!! I realize that now!
I do not know about you, but I feel that I takes a BIG person to admit that they were wrong or bad and to move on!!!!! I am doing that... I was a piece of shiat and I will never do that again...
My two cents... :crossx:

New Mexico
10-07-2006, 04:33 AM
Life is to short to deal with that sh*t! Down size the house, take the extra money and buy a badazz boat. See ya at the river!!

CBadDad
10-07-2006, 09:49 AM
All Star, I'd call youa piece of shiat, but you already did that so there is no gratification in it for me...
He did not do the company thing for me.. it was for him.
You should change your name to clueless. While he's out bustin' his ass to improve your situation, you're gonna whine and moan about it was all about him. When you're married you're suppose to be one. You're typical of the "me" generation that wants it all for themselves. You deserve everything you get NOTHING!!!
Have a great life. NOT!

socalmoney
10-07-2006, 10:14 AM
This someone was making me feel that way.... special...........was making me feel great... awesome...... pretty, a good mother... a hard worker... sexy....a good cook....etc.
If I found out my wife cooked for another guy, I would be so pissed off. I can't get her to cook for me.

All-Star
10-07-2006, 11:48 AM
All Star, I'd call youa piece of shiat, but you already did that so there is no gratification in it for me...
You should change your name to clueless. While he's out bustin' his ass to improve your situation, you're gonna whine and moan about it was all about him. When you're married you're suppose to be one. You're typical of the "me" generation that wants it all for themselves. You deserve everything you get NOTHING!!!
Have a great life. NOT!
I guess I did not give you all of the details... There were other things that he was doing that was wrong. But I am not here to point fingers. Oh and by the way, I was the one supporting the entire relationship for over 4 years.. I had been paying for all of his equipment, inventory, etc. Not to mention the basic daily living expenses. I was the one who was helping him fulfill HIS dreams of owning his own business. And I was trying to be the supermom, super wife. I wore myself down. That was not my character, or so I thought. I let my guard down. Was it wrong, YES! Would I do it again, NO! I was just trying to share a womans point of view. I just want to state that it takes two to make a relationship work. If one becomes week (tired) then usually the other will pick up the slack, but sometimes it doesnt happen. You always need to appreciate what you have before it is gone. Never take anything for granted.
By the way, have you ever flirted with another woman while in a relationship??? This is all I thought of it (At first). But when I realized that I wouldnot share the emails with my husband, then that meant I was doing something wrong. I would not like it if it had happened to me... That is when I told on myself.
I am assuming that this is a touchy subject with you based on your current situation. Is that why you were so hard on me? Did this happen to you? Where you neglecting your wife?
Call Me what you want. I am taking the positive spin on this and I AM LEARNING FROM MY MISTAKES. I was just trying to help other people understand and possibly not make the same mistake that I did. It is not worth it.

Biglue
10-07-2006, 01:04 PM
We've been married for 10 years
There are no kids.
I know that he was busy with building his company for our future.....!!!!! He was trying to make a future for our children.
I don't get it, is there or is there no children involved? All-Star are you PT's wife?
If so, I don't understand how one could be so selfish as to break a man/person like this. I mean yeah he was probably moody and tired from the new business work. Obviously he needed to acknowledge you felt neglected. Could you not have approached him when you felt the time was right? I mean look at him, the dude is bent over this. He obviously loves you very much. It's his job to make you feel what you need, not the guy you introduced into the situation. Who the hell ruins their marriage over some internet fling anyways? Shit, I almost feel more compassion for PT over the guy who catches his wife banging around red handed.
Only thing I will agree with you is it takes 2 to make it work. With that being said, I think you should have accepted that you were not going to be at the top of his agenda on a daily basis while he was starting a business. Like you said, there was a benefit for your family as a whole from that coming.
I sincerely feel bad for PT. I hope you guys are able to move on and overcome this, wether it be seperated or deciding to work it out. Best of luck, and of course it's just my .02.

HM
10-07-2006, 01:15 PM
Women, you should read "The proper care and feeding of a Husband." You have no idea how easy it is to get us to do the things you want us to. We are simple creatures with basic needs that take little to no effort to satisfy. In return for this simple effort, we will treat you like queens and worship the ground you walk on. When you expect us to "know" things or "Feel" things, then we are at a loss - we are morons. We like when people are happy to see us, feed us, and give us stuff to fix.
Don't give me crap for reccomending a Dr. Laura book, it is actually quite good. My wife never realized how much power she has in the home. She went from feeling like she was powerless, to Sourcerer within a couple days.

jimslade
10-07-2006, 01:24 PM
Forgiveness is like honey, Just make sure there are no bees left.

All-Star
10-07-2006, 01:30 PM
No I am not married to PT.
I am just digging a bigger whole arent I.
Oh and yes my husband is here and reading everything that I have wrote.
And I did read the "Proper care and feeding of husbands". I was applying all of that. I guess I will go back and re-read that book right now.

HM
10-07-2006, 01:39 PM
No I am not married to PT.
I am just digging a bigger whole arent I.
Oh and yes my husband is here and reading everything that I have wrote.
And I did read the "Proper care and feeding of husbands". I was applying all of that. I guess I will go back and re-read that book right now.
If you read that, then I am impressed. Not sure how excited you will get about impressing an angry hairy 3 legged midget with a lazy eye and halitosis? Just kidding, I got the lazy eye fixed. :D
It is easy to dig a bigger hole in ***boat as a newby. We are ruthless!!! Just take responsibility for what you did (Which you are) and minimize or eliminate your justifications, blame, and shame, and it will be difficult to beat you up. Not impossible, just difficult. Keep a stiff upper lip and don't forget rule #6. :D

ratso
10-07-2006, 01:47 PM
The internet never caused the demise of any of my marriages... although I gotta admit, ***boat discussions and topics such as these, here and on RRL, and being allowed to vent and get opinions from others, did in fact partially help me through my last divorce... :D

CBadDad
10-07-2006, 04:44 PM
I guess I did not give you all of the details...
All Star, you're still making excuses. It doesn't matter. You cheated and that is that. I hope you and your hubby are working things out, but until YOU take full responsibilities for your actions, nothing will change.
I am assuming that this is a touchy subject with you based on your current situation.
Nope, we had a deal, she blew it, therefore she kept the house and I got some cash, kept the toys and my pension. I'm pretty happy with how things turned out. No alimony/support payments and 50% custody of the kids. I felt bad for the kids for a while, but they're pretty resielent and things are pretty good for us right now.

HBjet
10-07-2006, 06:23 PM
So is an online affair cheating?
Yes!
Hang in there... she isn't worth it!!!
HBjet

hoolign
10-07-2006, 07:43 PM
Yes!
Hang in there... she isn't worth it!!!
HBjet
Hey HB ..post some pics of your boat! havent seen it in many moons! how come your a stranger in here??

ROZ
10-07-2006, 08:28 PM
She went from feeling like she was powerless, to Sourcerer within a couple days.
In other words, you're her biatch... :D

All-Star
10-07-2006, 10:26 PM
All Star, you're still making excuses. It doesn't matter. You cheated and that is that. I hope you and your hubby are working things out, but until YOU take full responsibilities for your actions, nothing will change.
Nope, we had a deal, she blew it, therefore she kept the house and I got some cash, kept the toys and my pension. I'm pretty happy with how things turned out. No alimony/support payments and 50% custody of the kids. I felt bad for the kids for a while, but they're pretty resielent and things are pretty good for us right now.
I am not makeing excuses... I guess you were just looking at it negitively. I flat out said I was wrong. You said that it was all about me and that he was making a future for me and I did not appreicate it. I was making a future for both of us. I was paying for everything. I was not a lazy fat pig just sitting at home waiting for the pay check. I was working my arse off with 3 jobs putting him in the position that we needed to be in. Still cooking, cleaning and taking care of him, myself and the kids. I had even at one time told him that I felt like I was paying his way through medical school and when his practice was set up, then he was going to leave me for the secretary.... he just laughed ut off but I was serious. I tried and tried to talk about it before I fell into a situation. My husband would not even treat me like a human. I am not ugly and I have never withheld sex, I always fulfilled my "womanly" duties...... If anything he could not say that he was doing what he should have been doing. But as I said before... that does not make it right ...PERIOD!!!!! I guess I was feeling neglected. That still did not give me the right. As I said tooooo many times before I was wrong. I am sorry and we are in counseling right now for over a year and things are awesome. I am taking other self improvement classes, etc. As I stated from before, I am taking the postivie from this bad situation. I am glad that you are happy with your out come. Let me be with mine. We are happy and we were both taking each outher for granted.

wsuwrhr
10-08-2006, 06:43 AM
It is amazing to me how people are so sorry for what they do.
'Course...normally that happens AFTER they get caught.
Brian

wsuwrhr
10-08-2006, 06:46 AM
I told my wife before we got married, "It is real simple, if you ever cheat on me, I am gone, gone."
Just like that.
Dust would fall right where I was standing.
Brian

Biglue
10-08-2006, 09:18 AM
I told my wife before we got married, "It is real simple, if you ever cheat on me, I am gone, gone."
Just like that.
Dust would fall right where I was standing.
Brian
That's fast. :D

Cheap Thrills
10-08-2006, 09:31 AM
I love my right hand but sometimes I use my left hand. Is that cheating ? Should I tell my right hand that I sometimes use my left hand ? I have always had the fantasy of having a threesome with both hands but I'm not shure how they would react to the idea.
C.T. :wink:

wsuwrhr
10-08-2006, 09:37 AM
That's fast. :D
yep

Wet Dream
10-08-2006, 09:50 AM
I want to tell you first and foremost.....
They do not call it sex for no reason... Sex is sex....
:
Who the hell is this *****? :mad: Oh boy...strap in kids.

wsuwrhr
10-08-2006, 10:02 AM
Who the hell is this *****? :mad: Oh boy...strap in kids.
My guess is said subject's wife.
Brian

Wet Dream
10-08-2006, 10:33 AM
My guess is said subject's wife.
Brian
That was my first guess, but she's talking about kids...he said there are no kids. Maybe they're hers from a previous relationship? I'll just keep lingering around the net and see what happens later.

Biglue
10-08-2006, 11:35 AM
That was my first guess, but she's talking about kids...he said there are no kids. Maybe they're hers from a previous relationship? I'll just keep lingering around the net and see what happens later.
ALL STAR is not Party Time's wife. Completely different incident she shared on here.

All-Star
10-08-2006, 01:53 PM
ding, ding, ding... You guessed the correct answer. No I am not Partytime's wife and I even said that before.

Trailer Park Casanova
10-08-2006, 03:22 PM
Ratso is the officia last word on online dating,,, and his take is: "all the chix on there lie",
-and a lier is a cheat.
Be gone with her, and move on.

RitcheyRch
10-08-2006, 03:29 PM
Same thing I was told by my attorney. Thankfully I was only married 7 years. Been divorced since 1995.
FILE THE PAPERS NOW! 10 years is the mark for lifetime spousal support. If its less than 10 years its half the amount of time you were married.

partytime
10-08-2006, 05:17 PM
No guys, All Star is not my wife.
My wife... hell, she still thinks she did nothing wrong. Although she won't share any information on it, him, with me. "Its personal".
WTF, I'm her husband? "It's personal"???
I found a house in Eastvale (north Corona) I hope I can make it work out...
I'm gonna be ok. I had dinner with some friends last night and we're heading to Havasu on the 20th. Really looking forward to it.
Partytime

partytime
10-08-2006, 05:18 PM
Oh yeah, I'll have renamed the boat (which I get to keep) by the 20th too.

Devil's Advocate
10-08-2006, 06:05 PM
BANG, right on the money!
Women are different. It takes more than just sex for a woman to cheat...
I agree. I would venture to say that most women seek out an affair not so much for a physical unfulfilled need, but more of an emotional need, weather it's love, feeling desired, attention, ect.
She's cheating and it's symbolic of today's day and age of new methods in which to do it. I also agree that once trust is broken, so is the relationship/marriage. Will you ever be able to look at this person the same way? I don't think so.
So sorry you're going through this.

cruznhog
10-08-2006, 07:53 PM
Just speaking from a bit of personal experience. Dont fool yourself that it is already getting a little better to deal with as that roller coaster is only beginning. You made the right choice and now everything you do has to be a business decision. Take the emotions out of it and look at it as if you were negotiating your next business.
Get it filed before that dreadful 10 year mark or it can mean support for life. Five years (half the term of the marriage) is much easier to deal with.

acatitude
10-08-2006, 08:52 PM
seems like its just todays generation.... no one wants to make anything work at the first sign of dislike poof they are gone or looking..... let her go and start over.... it will take a while to get over but someone will come along and make you forget her...good luck

ratso
10-08-2006, 11:17 PM
I agree. I would venture to say that most women seek out an affair not so much for a physical unfulfilled need, but more of an emotional need, weather it's love, feeling desired, attention, ect.
She's cheating and it's symbolic of today's day and age of new methods in which to do it. I also agree that once trust is broken, so is the relationship/marriage. Will you ever be able to look at this person the same way? I don't think so.
So sorry you're going through this.
Whatever the need... sometimes they just wanna get F#cked...

CBadDad
10-09-2006, 06:58 AM
I am not makeing excuses... I guess you were just looking at it negitively. I flat out said I was wrong. You said that it was all about me and that he was making a future for me and I did not appreicate it. I was making a future for both of us. I was paying for everything. I was not a lazy fat pig just sitting at home waiting for the pay check. I was working my arse off with 3 jobs putting him in the position that we needed to be in. Still cooking, cleaning and taking care of him, myself and the kids. I had even at one time told him that I felt like I was paying his way through medical school and when his practice was set up, then he was going to leave me for the secretary.... he just laughed ut off but I was serious. I tried and tried to talk about it before I fell into a situation. My husband would not even treat me like a human. I am not ugly and I have never withheld sex, I always fulfilled my "womanly" duties...... If anything he could not say that he was doing what he should have been doing. But as I said before... that does not make it right ...PERIOD!!!!! I guess I was feeling neglected. That still did not give me the right. As I said tooooo many times before I was wrong. I am sorry and we are in counseling right now for over a year and things are awesome. I am taking other self improvement classes, etc. As I stated from before, I am taking the postivie from this bad situation. I am glad that you are happy with your out come. Let me be with mine. We are happy and we were both taking each outher for granted.
I believe I said I wish you and your hubby well. I have no ill regards towards you and yours. Shiat, I hope it works out for the kids sake if nothing else.
But I still stand by the fact that you continue to make excuses. Ya, ya, ya....you did everything and he did nothing, except bust his ass for probably 12 hours a day. I bet once he became successful you were gonna help hiim spend the cash. Oh ya, that's right, you deserved it and he did nothing. This all leads me to believe that you'll probably do it again. Until YOU take full responsibilities for your actions, you can never have complete closure. IMHO of coarse.
You know who I really feel sorry for? It's Jim. You said he posted on here too. Now you come on here and post all of your garbage and a photo of yourself to boot. That's just wrong.

CBadDad
10-09-2006, 07:01 AM
Partytime, sorry to hijack your thread, and I feel for your situations too. I'm glad to hear that you're moving forward. It's gonna be a roller coaster ride for sure, but in the end, you'll be better off.
After Havasu, if you wanna hook up and do Glamis, let me know. I have an extra Quad - was the wifes :crossx:

ratso
10-09-2006, 07:12 AM
Ratso is the officia last word on online dating,,, and his take is: "all the chix on there lie",
-and a lier is a cheat.
Be gone with her, and move on.
Ah yes... the good ole "Personals" thread on RRL... those were the days huh TPC? :idea: :D

partytime
10-09-2006, 07:24 AM
My wife never realized how much power she has in the home. She went from feeling like she was powerless, to Sourcerer within a couple days.
When my wife saw how bad this affair affected me with all of the begging and pleading, and the crying I was doing she did the exact same thing. No more though. I am not letting her get away with it.
While we do talk daily she now realizes that I am stronger (It's really just a front that she hasn't figured out). I have stopped asking her to work it out and I have told her I won't make the same mistake in my next relationship. I can see that it is starting to affect her.
She was leaving for the store and went to kiss me goodbye when I pulled back and told not to do that again.I know it hurt her but that really hurt me too because I wanted to kiss her badly. Man, I'm am such a puss.
cbadad, thanks for the offer!

1978 Rogers
10-09-2006, 08:38 AM
Partytime, I wish you the best of luck in this hard time. It shoulds like you are on the right track.
Chris

All-Star
10-09-2006, 11:16 PM
I believe I said I wish you and your hubby well. I have no ill regards towards you and yours. Shiat, I hope it works out for the kids sake if nothing else.
But I still stand by the fact that you continue to make excuses. Ya, ya, ya....you did everything and he did nothing, except bust his ass for probably 12 hours a day. I bet once he became successful you were gonna help hiim spend the cash. Oh ya, that's right, you deserved it and he did nothing. This all leads me to believe that you'll probably do it again. Until YOU take full responsibilities for your actions, you can never have complete closure. IMHO of coarse.
You know who I really feel sorry for? It's Jim. You said he posted on here too. Now you come on here and post all of your garbage and a photo of yourself to boot. That's just wrong.
Thanks for your constant concern.... Period! Or should I say scarcasim.
Do you ever think that there was a possibility that two people were being wrong at the same time??? I am not placing blame and I full admit to my part, time and time again... but for some reason you just wont let ME live it down. ??? I wonder why??? Too Sore?
You must be a business owner and think that the girls want to TAKE everyting from you... Well Let me tell you that I work everyday at His business and I still work 2 other jobs and still find time to cook can clean and fulfill my womanly duties... I am doing it all and trying to manage. But all you can think is that I am sitting at home....waiting for the big paycheck... blah blah blah.. Sounds like all you think about is money . I am tooo busy making things happen to worry about that. I am moving forward... but I am NOT going to let anyone beat me down in the mean time. Not even you! We both work hard, and we always have. I am not taking anything from him. He is super smart and hard working..... we both messed up. It is just that I am bring ing it to the post.
My husband has been here every time I have posted... If he does not have a problem then why do you????? Do not point out the straw in your brothers eye when you might have a rafter in you own eye.... ?????? hummmm
I was only pointing out a womens viewpoint. It was part of my healing process to fully admit my wrong, publicly....... It was not the law. And I am treated like this? Whatever.... I came to this site humbly and submissive, what more do I need to do??? Maybe there is NO Pleaseing You???? Everyone else has been awesome.. and I thank you for understanding ....especially all of the 32 PM's that I have received. ....
Whatever.... Just because others have gone through this does not make it right or wrong. There are extenuating circumstance to every situation, and you can not judge any one with out all of the details. And even if you have all of the details, maybe you should not even judge..... Unless you want to be judged????
Once again I am sorry for all of you HOT BOATERS reading this Rant.... And I am sorry to Ultimately to JIM!

Tom Brown
10-09-2006, 11:27 PM
.... you come on here and post all of your garbage and a photo of yourself to boot. That's just wrong.
She's running her own show and it sounds like she is making some different choices than you might make. Her open directness has triggered some strong emotions but I would contend that, in the long run, it's a more emotionally healthy way to go than the stiff upper lip approach.
CBadDad, it sounds like you and I think pretty similar with regards to discretion and personal privacy. Hell, I wouldn't want my chick telling anyone about the time we were humping in the woods a couple of blocks from our hotel in Invermere BC when a group of drunk teenagers discovered us and started screaming like fukking aliens were landing. Nobody needs to know that stuff. Those stories are private. It's indiscrete to share them.

axkiker
10-10-2006, 04:42 AM
F*ck it. I have 300 acres in ky and a shovel. we can plant a tree right on top of her. Never to be seen again.

CBadDad
10-10-2006, 11:41 AM
Thanks for your constant concern.... Period! Or should I say scarcasim.
Do you ever think that there was a possibility that two people were being wrong at the same time??? I am not placing blame and I full admit to my part, time and time again... but for some reason you just wont let ME live it down. ??? I wonder why??? Too Sore?
No, not really...You keep bring it up and quoting me, so I am just replying to you. Sometimes this internet thing can cause poeple to misunderstand each other. But I'm not yelling, no cap locks or exagerated punctuation.
You must be a business owner and think that the girls want to TAKE everyting from you...Well Let me tell you that I work everyday at His business and I still work 2 other jobs and still find time to cook can clean and fulfill my womanly duties... I am doing it all and trying to manage. But all you can think is that I am sitting at home....waiting for the big paycheck... blah blah blah.. Sounds like all you think about is money . I am tooo busy making things happen to worry about that. I am moving forward... but I am NOT going to let anyone beat me down in the mean time. Not even you! We both work hard, and we always have. I am not taking anything from him. He is super smart and hard working..... we both messed up. It is just that I am bring ing it to the post.
Guess again (hint, you can read my profle if you care, to figure it out).
BTW, I'd say it's OUR (meaning the both of yours) business. Ask any lawyer. :rolleyes:
Beat you down??? I'm just calling a spade a spade.
My husband has been here every time I have posted... If he does not have a problem then why do you????? Do not point out the straw in your brothers eye when you might have a rafter in you own eye.... ?????? hummmm
I was just commenting on your post. Welcome to the internet...
Jim, what say ye? You certainly have a pistol on your hands...
I was only pointing out a womens viewpoint. It was part of my healing process to fully admit my wrong, publicly....... It was not the law. And I am treated like this? Whatever.... I came to this site humbly and submissive, what more do I need to do??? Maybe there is NO Pleaseing You???? Everyone else has been awesome.. and I thank you for understanding ....especially all of the 32 PM's that I have received. ....
Whatever.... Just because others have gone through this does not make it right or wrong. There are extenuating circumstance to every situation, and you can not judge any one with out all of the details. And even if you have all of the details, maybe you should not even judge..... Unless you want to be judged????
Actually, I think you were pointing out your point of view. Maybe you're more qualified then I am at stating what a womens point of view is, but you shouldn't speak for all women, when not all women cheat.
As for judging. I didn't mean to judge, I hoestly don't care I just dont have anything better to do. Well, I do, but I don't want to.
Once again I am sorry for all of you HOT BOATERS reading this Rant....
Me too, I just can't help myself.

Her454
10-10-2006, 11:53 AM
Cheating is cheating, period. If she HID it from you, she KNEW she was in the wrong.
IMO she went wayyy over the line with her actions, and then tried to hide it. I think that most women are worse than men when it comes to being cheated on and if the situation were reversed she would hang you out to dry.
Sorry you have been hurt and have to go through this but at least there are not children involved.

Debbolas
10-10-2006, 01:31 PM
Wow, this whole thread just makes me sad :cry:
I want to say meaningfull shit like, "hopefully you will both grow from this situation" and " when god closes a door he opens a window" and "god never gives you more than you can handle" (though it really feels like it sometimes)
But...........I'm just so blown away by the awful sucky situation.....DAM,
feel better soon,
come to the river,
hang with your friends,
you will find out who your real friends are now.......
feel better.....Deb

moneypit
10-10-2006, 01:36 PM
It depends on what your definition of "is" is.

ratso
10-10-2006, 01:43 PM
Wow, this whole thread just makes me sad :cry:
I want to say meaningfull shit like, "hopefully you will both grow from this situation" and " when god closes a door he opens a window" and "god never gives you more than you can handle" (though it really feels like it sometimes)
But...........I'm just so blown away by the awful sucky situation.....DAM,
feel better soon,
come to the river,
hang with your friends,
you will find out who your real friends are now.......
feel better.....Deb
...he opens a window... for you to jump out of. :hammer2:

TAF
10-10-2006, 02:43 PM
Whatever the need... sometimes they just wanna get F#cked...
I've heard that from more than 4 women I've dated. Not exactly what I wanted but they definately didn't want to get into a relationship. It was all good...well some was awesome!!!! Got my heart broke :cry: twice but I know there's one :p out there to stick w/ me.

ratso
10-10-2006, 03:23 PM
I've heard that from more than 4 women I've dated. Not exactly what I wanted but they definately didn't want to get into a relationship. It was all good...well some was awesome!!!! Got my heart broke :cry: twice but I know there's one :p out there to stick w/ me.
...the secret is to not let your heart get involved.
Most (and I said most, not all) of the time, whether it's days, weeks, months, years or decades... it will end, and you'll eventually find yourself at 40, 50, or 60 and alone. The trick is to get to know as many women as you possibly can and not pour your entire life, heart, and soul into one single bad investment. Accumulate women... a relationship will not allow you to do that. Accumulate friends, because a relationship will limit you in that aspect also because your partner probably won't really like most of them anyway. Stay close to your family... you might need them one day. While you are young enough, plow through as many women as you can, while being up front and honest with them at the same time... and they will keep coming around in the future, because everytime they go through another breakup, you want to be available for them when they show up on your doorstep at 3am. As I've matured, the hunt isn't as important anymore. I'm afforded the pleasure of actually becoming lazy in that aspect, because with the proper groundwork, you won't even have to try... they just seem to call or show up... not that there aren't ever any dry spells... but there are other times when you'll be going "Gawd, if I ever see another piece of ass it will be too soon!" In the end though, it's going to be your friends and family that actually give a f#ck and are in it for the long haul. When I'm 60, I don't want some nagging bitch telling me to do the yard (She wouldn't be anyway because I'd be doing the yard just to get out of the f#ckin' house and away from her) or wash the car or take her wheelchair bound fat ass shopping... It's gonna be my friends and playing cards and dominoes, fishing, going to the movies, gambling, trips, doing things with my son and grandson, and blowing money on whatever the f#ck I want to blow money on... even if it's 20 year old prostitutes... You go that "love" route, chances are you're gonna get f#cked in the ass... emotionally as well as financially...

deltaAce
10-10-2006, 03:59 PM
partytime, if you are splitting up,
It's not "partytime", it's time to find yourself,
who you are as an individual. Learn to be on your own for
awhile. There's no need to be desperate for another person
to validate you. Concentrate on being your best, for yourself.
Get healthy, stay sober, emerse yourself in productive activities & hobbies.
If you try the pick-up game, you will feel like a loser.
If you party your ass off, you will awake from the fog a year
later & nothing will have changed.
Get over this trauma, develope your esteem & confidence.
Women can sense these things & it will pay big later on.
Best of wishes to you. Ace

probablecause
10-10-2006, 04:01 PM
Women, you should read "The proper care and feeding of a Husband." You have no idea how easy it is to get us to do the things you want us to.
So True. Also, I am amazed at how many "holly" people there are here on the boards responding to this thread. I wonder if your answers would be different if children were involved.

ratso
10-10-2006, 04:05 PM
So True. Also, I am amazed at how many "holly" people there are here on the boards responding to this thread. I wonder if your answers would be different if children were involved.
I don't know what "holly" people are, but kids wouldn't change my answer in the least. Seems to be a pretty miserable deal and for whatever reason she seems to have him pretty whipped down as it is... so there is absolutely no respect there and will only get worse. Kids deserve better than that.

Devil's Advocate
10-10-2006, 05:08 PM
...As I've matured...
:idea:

ratso
10-10-2006, 05:28 PM
:idea:
...I guess in a way that might seem funny huh??? :idea: :D

ratso
10-10-2006, 05:30 PM
partytime, if you are splitting up,
It's not "partytime", it's time to find yourself,
who you are as an individual. Learn to be on your own for
awhile. There's no need to be desperate for another person
to validate you. Concentrate on being your best, for yourself.
Get healthy, stay sober, emerse yourself in productive activities & hobbies.
If you try the pick-up game, you will feel like a loser.
If you party your ass off, you will awake from the fog a year
later & nothing will have changed.
Get over this trauma, develope your esteem & confidence.
Women can sense these things & it will pay big later on.
Best of wishes to you. Ace
That is great advice...

Devil's Advocate
10-10-2006, 05:32 PM
...I guess in a way that might seem funny huh??? :idea: :D
Well when it's mixed in that big story of plowing through as many as women as you can and then waiting for them to show up on your doorstep at 3am, yeah.. :D

CBadDad
10-10-2006, 05:32 PM
This one...
...the secret is to not let your heart get involved.
Most (and I said most, not all) of the time, whether it's days, weeks, months, years or decades... it will end, and you'll eventually find yourself at 40, 50, or 60 and alone. The trick is to get to know as many women as you possibly can and not pour your entire life, heart, and soul into one single bad investment. Accumulate women... a relationship will not allow you to do that. Accumulate friends, because a relationship will limit you in that aspect also because your partner probably won't really like most of them anyway. Stay close to your family... you might need them one day. While you are young enough, plow through as many women as you can, while being up front and honest with them at the same time... and they will keep coming around in the future, because everytime they go through another breakup, you want to be available for them when they show up on your doorstep at 3am. As I've matured, the hunt isn't as important anymore. I'm afforded the pleasure of actually becoming lazy in that aspect, because with the proper groundwork, you won't even have to try... they just seem to call or show up... not that there aren't ever any dry spells... but there are other times when you'll be going "Gawd, if I ever see another piece of ass it will be too soon!" In the end though, it's going to be your friends and family that actually give a f#ck and are in it for the long haul. When I'm 60, I don't want some nagging bitch telling me to do the yard (She wouldn't be anyway because I'd be doing the yard just to get out of the f#ckin' house and away from her) or wash the car or take her wheelchair bound fat ass shopping... It's gonna be my friends and playing cards and dominoes, fishing, going to the movies, gambling, trips, doing things with my son and grandson, and blowing money on whatever the f#ck I want to blow money on... even if it's 20 year old prostitutes... You go that "love" route, chances are you're gonna get f#cked in the ass... emotionally as well as financially...
...and this one.
partytime, if you are splitting up,
It's not "partytime", it's time to find yourself,
who you are as an individual. Learn to be on your own for
awhile. There's no need to be desperate for another person
to validate you. Concentrate on being your best, for yourself.
Get healthy, stay sober, emerse yourself in productive activities & hobbies.
If you try the pick-up game, you will feel like a loser.
If you party your ass off, you will awake from the fog a year
later & nothing will have changed.
Get over this trauma, develope your esteem & confidence.
Women can sense these things & it will pay big later on.
Best of wishes to you. Ace

ratso
10-10-2006, 05:42 PM
Well when it's mixed in that big story of plowing through as many as women as you can and then waiting for them to show up on your doorstep at 3am, yeah.. :D
We all have different lifestyles... the way mine is played out is knowing most chicks want what they can't have. Frankly, I doubt I'll ever meet one again that's good enough to get to me. One day when things stop working, at least I'll have some awesome memories. ;)

Devil's Advocate
10-10-2006, 05:48 PM
We all have different lifestyles... the way mine is played out is knowing most chicks want what they can't have. Frankly, I doubt I'll ever meet one again that's good enough to get to me. One day when things stop working, at least I'll have some awesome memories. ;)
You may have met some "good enough" ones, but you will not LET them get to you. If you don't want to give them anything either (of yourself), they're all going to seem like greedy takers too. Just my opinion, ratso, probably not worth much. :rollside: But gotta do what makes you happy. ;)

ratso
10-10-2006, 07:03 PM
You may have met some "good enough" ones, but you will not LET them get to you. If you don't want to give them anything either (of yourself), they're all going to seem like greedy takers too. Just my opinion, ratso, probably not worth much. :rollside: But gotta do what makes you happy. ;)
Actually your opinions are usually dead on... to a certain extent. :wink:

partytime
10-11-2006, 04:19 AM
Wow, this whole thread just makes me sad :cry:
Me too.
I want to thank everyone here at HB for the support and kindness shown. While my life feels like it is over I know it is not. I am not sure if I'll ever feel about or trust a woman the way I felt about my best friend, my wife. This whole thing is leaving me pretty jaded. And I sure could use some sleep.
Mike

partytime
10-11-2006, 04:27 AM
partytime, if you are splitting up,
It's not "partytime", it's time to find yourself,
who you are as an individual. Learn to be on your own for
awhile. There's no need to be desperate for another person
to validate you. Concentrate on being your best, for yourself.
Get healthy, stay sober, emerse yourself in productive activities & hobbies.
If you try the pick-up game, you will feel like a loser.
If you party your ass off, you will awake from the fog a year
later & nothing will have changed.
Get over this trauma, develope your esteem & confidence.
Women can sense these things & it will pay big later on.
Best of wishes to you. Ace
Thanks deltaAce.