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FMluvswater
10-27-2006, 04:26 PM
A cute and funny e-mail I got today :smile:
Why We Love Children !
1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer
evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved.
She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my
5-year-old shout from the back seat,
"Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
2) OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note
from his mother. The note read,
"The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."
*^^^my personal fave^^^ :D
3) KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar.
During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter
to answer the phone.
"Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."
4) MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's
locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with
ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in
bewilderment and then asked,
"What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
5) POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school,
I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up
and down at my uniform, she asked,
"Are you a cop?"
"Yes," I answered and continued writing the report.
"My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?"
"Yes, that's right," I told her.
"Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would
you please tie my shoe?"
6) POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front
of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake,
was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me
"Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked.
"It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van.
Finally he said,
"What'd he do?"
7) ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old
age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I
found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I
braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned
and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
8) DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When
she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned,
"Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."
"And why not, darling?"
"You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning "
9) DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church,
our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar
wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a
dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had
secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready
for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say
the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity, he intoned his version of
what he thought his father always said:
"Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and in the hole he goooes."
10) SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school.
"I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother,
"I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"
11) BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he
fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the
Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an
old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
"Mama, look what I found," the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?"
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered,
"I think it's Adam's underwear!"

Kim Hanson
10-27-2006, 04:38 PM
Along time ago all the girls were gone for a little holiday with the grand parents and as you know you take advantage of those good time..Jenna was like 5 or 6, she must have came home early and dualing bed springs were singing in the bedroom when the door bell rang, I said let it ring....keep on pumping..then I heard a little voice yell out mom and dad can't come to the door, they are making me a baby brother. We put a lock on after that :p ..........( . )( . ).............

HocusPocus
10-27-2006, 04:41 PM
those are great.. i have 4 kids and none of those statements surprise me. its amazing the stuff they come up with. :)

3 daytona`s
10-27-2006, 04:48 PM
I wish I could read a post like that every morning,not only are they funny but so sincere in their statements.. :)

Moneypitt
10-27-2006, 04:48 PM
Along time ago all the girls were gone for a little holiday with the grand parents and as you know you take advantage of those good time..Jenna was like 5 or 6, she must have came home early and dualing bed springs were singing in the bedroom when the door bell rang, I said let it ring....keep on pumping..then I heard a little voice yell out mom and dad can't come to the door, they are making me a baby brother. We put a lock on after that :p ..........( . )( . ).............
I guess you don't know what vaseline is for during sex.......
You put it on the doorknob to keep the kids out..........MP

FMluvswater
10-27-2006, 04:58 PM
Along time ago all the girls were gone for a little holiday with the grand parents and as you know you take advantage of those good time..Jenna was like 5 or 6, she must have came home early and dualing bed springs were singing in the bedroom when the door bell rang, I said let it ring....keep on pumping..then I heard a little voice yell out mom and dad can't come to the door, they are making me a baby brother. We put a lock on after that :p ..........( . )( . ).............
LMFAO! :D That's yo child alright, Sugar!

FMluvswater
10-27-2006, 05:00 PM
I guess you don't know what vaseline is for during sex.......
You put it on the doorknob to keep the kids out..........MP
:rollside: ... oh well we spent money on them doorknob covers :D

Debbolas
10-27-2006, 05:02 PM
Good one FM :D :clover::D