Trick or treat... Q for the parents...

[YeLLowBoaT]

Lets just say your that you just got done helping your 9 year old duagther get into her costume. Now while your taking care of something else imporatant( other kids for example) she slips out the front door and goes trick or treating by herself after dark. Once you find her missing your run all over the your block looking for her. you have knocked on several doors asking if some one has seen her and they say YES she came by trick or treating. Not being able to find her your heading home to call 911 to help find her, you see her trick or treating and go get her and come home.
My Q is this:
Would you let her go out trick or treating again tonight or would she be done for the night?

[Cas]

done for the next week!

[beerjet]

done.

[YeLLowBoaT]

one more thing... she lied about it too... She said the other parent said it was ok to do out...
Well this happend to me tonight, but it was not my duaghter. Latley my 9 cousin has been living with me.... every one in my family said I was way to harsh... that is expect her mother, who was just as pisted as I was. And actaully since she lied to me its a month.

[TRG]

Judging by the 17 registered sexual offenders that reside in our close prox., i would first kick myself in the ass for being so negligent (no aim toward anyone that this may have happened to!) then i would proceed to blister her azz for knowing better about her surroundings and also being just as negligent as i!...and hope that the outcome was a positive one and that she returned home safe!
...the punishment would aslo suit the crime!
she would not see the darkness of halloween night for at least a year!
Just my .02
Todd

[beerjet]

one more thing... she lied about it too... She said the other parent said it was ok to do out...
Well this happend to me tonight, but it was not my duaghter. Latley my 9 cousin has been living with me.... every one in my family said I was way to harsh... that is expect her mother, who was just as pisted as I was. And actaully since she lied to me its a month.
Now that you've put your foot down . Keep it there. They would probably be all over your ass if something had happen to her .

[Drift]

one more thing... she lied about it too... She said the other parent said it was ok to do out...
Well this happend to me tonight, but it was not my duaghter. Latley my 9 cousin has been living with me.... every one in my family said I was way to harsh... that is expect her mother, who was just as pisted as I was. And actaully since she lied to me its a month.
Good job! This day and age... you can never be too carefull. So many F@#$&%^$ PERVS! I would agree with the month sentence. Good for you and her mom. The rest of your family needs to open their eyes.

[YeLLowBoaT]

Thats just it... if something did happen to her( actaully it did when she was 2 by a teacher at head start...I am not sure who did it, but I know some one in my family killed him...I mean when they are found in thier home with thier dick cut off and a hole in the head its not hard to put 2 and 2 toeghter.) i would be in jail... there is no doubt, I would kill the mother fooker. Shes cried for hours and locked her self in the bathroom... I was a little more pissed when I had to take the knob off to have her open the door.

[Drift]

Thats just it... if something did happen to her( actaully it did when she was 2 by a teacher at head start...I am not sure who did it, but I know some one in my family killed him...I mean when they are found in thier home with thier dick cut off and a hole in the head its not hard to put 2 and 2 toeghter.) i would be in jail... there is no doubt, I would kill the mother fooker. Shes cried for hours and locked her self in the bathroom... I was a little more pissed when I had to take the knob off to have her open the door.
It will suck that's for sure, but you are doing the right thing. You are not supposed to be your or a child's friend. That is what has happened to parenting. Your job is to raise and protect, the fact that she is so defiant (locking herself in a bathroom) shows that she has already started to slip. Time to tighten the reigns. I wish you the best of luck. You may be an ass to her right now but when she looks back on it it will all make sense to her.

[YeLLowBoaT]

See its not my kid... I am only watching her do my her mother being bed riden. I know one thing if I had done something like this I would have gotten my ass beat.

[RitcheyRch]

You did the right thing.

[v-drive]

Right choice, now don't back down . she will think she can do anything.

[TheCarDudes]

I agree. Don't back down, don't look back. But, don't hold a grudge either. The punishment has been stated and executed. Life should go on as usual, withe the exception of the privileges lost due to the punishment.
I found it to be very effective to remember to kiss after every slap.

[Trailer Park Casanova]

Big trouble

[AngryJosh]

I cant even believe your asking this question...Shame on you! If she was my daughter I would have blistered her butt, taken all her candy, and everything else she cares about. That is unacceptable behavior

[a catered life]

It will suck that's for sure, but you are doing the right thing. You are not supposed to be your or a child's friend. That is what has happened to parenting. Your job is to raise and protect, the fact that she is so defiant (locking herself in a bathroom) shows that she has already started to slip. Time to tighten the reigns. I wish you the best of luck. You may be an ass to her right now but when she looks back on it it will all make sense to her.
i agree with this completely....parents of today worry more about being their kids friend more than raising their kids to be good decent citizens, providers for their kids, great parents themselves, and law abiding...
and ps wipe that ass and no halloween :p

[Flyinbowtie]

I agree with everybody else, you responded accordingly.
At 9 years old, she really needs to start understanding that their are boundaries in her life that she ISN"T in charge of. Sounds to me like perhaps this is a revelation for her.
She'd be done; and for more than just Halloween.

[BadKachina]

Was she actually told to wait for someone? She was probably so excited to go and without specific instructions not to leave the house without you she was doing what she thought she was supposed to do. You can't expect her to know she can't go around the block, on Halloween, when all the kids in neighborhood are out, and her father just got dressed up, because you don't feel it's safe for a 9 year old to be out alone.
I think just a conversation about being safe and why kids shouldn't be out alone after dark would suffice.
My girl is 9 and we let her and three of her friends go trick or treating without us. It's her first time she has gone without my wife but we trusted that as a group they should be safe together. They had specific parameters about the area they could go in and the time they had to return by. They had a great time and everything went off with out a hitch. She's coming to the age where she has to start learning to be responsible and more self sufficient. It's a tough age for little girls and their parents.

[Tremor Therapy]

You did the right thing. I had my son do that when he was 7, and it scared the sh*t out of me for the 30 minutes it took to find him. She is still at an age where the discipline/punishment scenario's work, so don't hesitate 1 time in enforcing "the rules!"

[HocusPocus]

i think its great that she is held accountable for her actions.

[Ziggy]

Well first of all the right thing was done for her leaving without permission but at the same time whoever was responsible for watching her did not do their job properly either.........you can not completely fault a child who may be excited to get out "treatin", the supervisor of this child IMO is equally at fault for not keeping control of all the kids he/she was the gaurdian over.
Although she does not need to know that :D

[Rattle Can Lou]

Personally I think Halloween is a great time to have a "holiday party". Invite the childrens freinds over and cook something cool and play games with them. Going out and trick or treating is a thing of the past in my book. I raised two boys that are now 22 and 27, and they never went out and trick or treated. We now know how bad the candy deal is anyway. I know, I'm living in the dark ages...but I think as parents we take the easy way out on things and this can be dangerous. I also sent my kids to a private school and they promoted the lack of "Haloween".

[SHOTKALLIN]

Right choice, now don't back down . she will think she can do anything.
obviously she already thinks she can...some home training is needed here. you cant change 9 years of bad parenting while watching your cousin for the day

[SHOTKALLIN]

I have an alarm on all my doors and windows. When a door opens it beeps. nobody in or out without me knowing about it.

[Cole]

Let the kid enjoy Holloween...

[All-Star]

Yeah, I think that maybe a little more communication could have prevented this, or not. Depending on the childs personality. Maybe you told her to wait and she went anyways. She should have been punished. I would have made my child go home, and no candy.... and I am sure I would have thought of a few other things.
If they walk all over you right now at 9 then it will only get worse as they get older... and bigger.
Set your rules and stick to them. It is harder on us then it is on them. They really do want the structure in their lives, but WE have to keep it consistant.
Good job!