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View Full Version : "How many?" Jokes... I'll start it



Froggystyle
12-16-2006, 02:14 PM
How many HB women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
-One, they just hold the bulb and the world revolves around them... ;)
How many sailors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
-Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to drink until the room spins.
How many guitar players?
-Ten. One to do it, four to say "I can do that" to their girlfriends and five to argue about how Jimi would have done it...
How many Ethiopians can you fit in a phone booth?
-All of them...

Jbb
12-16-2006, 02:15 PM
Jimi would have done it ...left handed...:p

Boatcop
12-16-2006, 02:36 PM
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
2
But I'll be damned if I know how they got in there.

Cheap Thrills
12-16-2006, 02:53 PM
Jimi would have done it ...left handed...:p
With a right handed Fender Strat fliped and strung upside down :D
T.

LHC30Victory
12-16-2006, 02:58 PM
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
2
But I'll be damned if I know how they got in there.
Now thats funny!

YeLLowBoaT
12-16-2006, 03:02 PM
How many femanist does it take to skrew in a light blub... 11
one too do it and 10 to form a support group.

Boatcop
12-16-2006, 03:15 PM
How many Navy Seals does it take to screw in a ligh bulb.
I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

Froggystyle
12-16-2006, 03:20 PM
How many cops does it take to beat up a crackhead?
-None... he fell.

Froggystyle
12-16-2006, 03:27 PM
How many reindeer does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
-Eight. One to screw in the lightbulb and seven to hold Rudolph down.

Froggystyle
12-16-2006, 03:36 PM
C'mon folks... is this thing on?
How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
-Two. One to assure everyone that everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.

mxbundy
12-16-2006, 03:36 PM
How do tell when your sperm count is high?
She has to chew to swallow!!:supp:
Technically not a How Many joke, But a How MUCH joke!!!!

Froggystyle
12-16-2006, 03:41 PM
How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
-Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools... :D

Chestah Cheetah
12-16-2006, 03:45 PM
How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Wanna go ride bikes?

TheCarDudes
12-16-2006, 03:51 PM
How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Californians don't screw in light bulbs .... they screw in hot tubs.

Froggystyle
12-16-2006, 04:16 PM
How many folk singers does it take?
Two. One to change the bulb and one to write a song about how good the old bulb was.

RiverOtter
12-16-2006, 04:18 PM
How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Wanna go ride bikes?
:D LMAO!!

BreastManWins
12-16-2006, 04:46 PM
How many ***boat Forum members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Multiple answers:
* Phuck You!
* This doesn't belong in this forum!
* Hot Boat has a magazine?
* Post some pics of your wife/gf naked!
* Show us your tits!
* Don't ask Brown, Hooli, Blown or Topless
* Even if Kilr doesn't know he'll post just to boost his post count.

Boatcop
12-16-2006, 05:17 PM
How many teamsters does it take to screw in a light bilb.
50. It's in the contract.
-------
Q: How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
------
Q: How many straight San Franciscans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Both of them.
------
Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
A: You can unscrew a light bulb.

73kona455
12-16-2006, 05:23 PM
there i fixed it for you..lol
How many ***boat Forum members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Multiple answers:
* RD Sucks
* Phuck You!
* This doesn't belong in this forum!
* Hot Boat has a magazine?
* Post some pics of your wife/gf naked!
* Show us your tits!
* Don't ask Brown, Hooli, Blown or Topless
* Even if Kilr doesn't know he'll post just to boost his post count.

Boatcop
12-16-2006, 05:45 PM
Q: How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four - one to change the bulb and three to cut a hole in the roof.
------
Q: How many UPS workers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: We can change the bulb in 7-10 working days; if you call before
2pm and pay an extra $29 we can get the bulb changed overnight.
-----
Q: How many ***boat Moderators does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: 2. One to change the bulb. One to make sure the first one doesn't say &$#% when he drops the bulb.
-----
Q: How many USC students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They have their Daddys do it for them.

Moneypitt
12-16-2006, 06:00 PM
How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They don't have anything to screw a bulb into..........
MP

shockwaveharry
12-16-2006, 07:26 PM
How many doctors does it take to replace a lightbulb?
Unknown... They can only practice replacing it

shockwaveharry
12-16-2006, 07:29 PM
How many doors does a chicken coupe have?
Two, because if it had four it'd be a chicken sedan...

Bense468
12-16-2006, 07:36 PM
Q: How many posts will this thread go?
A: Rhinos suck (its gonna go a lot more now)

vmjtc3
12-16-2006, 07:50 PM
How many ***boat Forum members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Multiple answers:
* Phuck You!
* This doesn't belong in this forum!
* Hot Boat has a magazine?
* Post some pics of your wife/gf naked!
* Show us your tits!
* Don't ask Brown, Hooli, Blown or Topless
* Even if Kilr doesn't know he'll post just to boost his post count.
you forgot the ever popular
* my light bulb is better, faster, cost more, and has more orange than your light bulb

Sleek-Jet
12-16-2006, 07:50 PM
How many ***boat Forum members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Multiple answers:
* Phuck You!
* This doesn't belong in this forum!
* Hot Boat has a magazine?
* Post some pics of your wife/gf naked!
* Show us your tits!
* Don't ask Brown, Hooli, Blown or Topless
* Even if Kilr doesn't know he'll post just to boost his post count.
6....
1 to change the bulb... 5 to tell him he's doing it wrong...

rrrr
12-17-2006, 06:12 AM
Q: How many Kennedys does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one. He holds the light bulb and the room spins around.

XtrmWakeborder
12-17-2006, 11:32 AM
How many HB women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
-One, they just hold the bulb and the world revolves around them... ;)
Is this a seal joke? I just saw it on the discovery channel when they did the show on class 234.

wsuwrhr
12-17-2006, 11:34 AM
Ain't that the truth.
How many cops does it take to beat up a crackhead?
-None... he fell.

Ultrafied
12-17-2006, 03:11 PM
a Korean tranny? I heard of saving money, but WTF! Why not an S&S, Baker or Rev-Tech?

rrrr
12-17-2006, 05:50 PM
a Korean tranny? I heard of saving money, but WTF! Why not an S&S, Baker or Rev-Tech?
LMAO :hammerhea :hammerhea

Redwing247
12-17-2006, 07:05 PM
Q: How many illegal aliens does it take to screw in a light bulb in a boat ???
A: None, if it a Trident :)

Boatcop
12-17-2006, 07:13 PM
How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark.

Froggystyle
12-18-2006, 08:46 AM
That's what I'm talking about... I like the hippie one.
OK, here's another.
How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
-Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.

rivercrazy
12-18-2006, 09:08 AM
Why do fags not mind coming last? They like to bring up the rear!