Women. The way it is not the way you think it is.

[HCS]

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.
2. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
us to act like soap opera guys.
3. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse
to answer.
4. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive
than
short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that
married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
5. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if
we can find the perfect present yet again!
6. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
answer
you don't want to hear.
7. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it. Don't ask
us
what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such
topics as hunting and fishing, NFL formation, or monster trucks.
8. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.
9. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it
that way.
10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine. Really. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes.
11. Crying is blackmail.
12. Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints
don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work.
Just say it!
13. No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark
anniversaries on the calendar.
14. Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss
sometimes.
15. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be
any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with
your dress?
16. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
17. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
18. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
19. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
20. Check your oil.
21. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz
together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
22. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
All comments become null and void after 7 days.
23. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
24. Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic.
25. You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do
something but not both.
26. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
27. ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color.
28. If it itches, it will be scratched.
29. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
30. If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the
hassle.
31. What the hell is a doily?

[MR HARLEY]

3. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
:D

[Misogynist]

Good advice for the ladies.... they will now go to the bathroom in twos.... and discuss how "we men" don't have a clue,,, how men must change to what they want us to be... and how they will hate us if we do.... :eek:

[HCS]

Good advice for the ladies.... they will now go to the bathroom in twos.... and discuss how "we men" don't have a clue,,, how men must change to what they want us to be... and how they will hate us if we do.... :eek:
17. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. ;)

[wright27]

My wife fits them all. I am in big trouble?

[HCS]

When does divorce begin? :D

[EAZYKILLER2006]

My wife fits them all. I am in big trouble?
yea! and i fit none of them...:)

[Devil's Advocate]

yea! and i fit none of them...:)
So you're a guy then?:D

[photo chick]

These are getting shown to the wife for sure:D:D
Both on 29 would apply to you though!!!

[EAZYKILLER2006]

So you're a guy then?:D
nope ~im a gurrrrly, but...all the kiddies..."my sons"... and ( friends of "my sons") are around me ...sooo often... i just have gotten use 2 THEM AND "THERE WAYS"... (and hubbys friends 2)...awwww i just go with the flow...more of them, than me...:rolleyes: now, i could add number #42# TO THE LIST..."the hair cutting thing"...is that a guy thing, too? ARE we women suppose to accept THAT also...????? damn i hate that...they cut each others hair.... and leave it everywhere...in the garage, the bathroom, kitchen...gosh~ "whats up with that?"...HAIR IS SO HARD TO GET UP~~~ WHEN IT BLOWS ALL OVER THE PLACE...boys!!!:) ... i should of had "daughters... i can ""get around the shit listed ABOVE...but the hair thing...man! IT drives me "nuts"...i said "the next time, i will sweep it up~ and shove it in there new vehicles"...(HE HE heee lol )...but i could never REALLY DO THAT...THEY HAVE REALLY NICE VEHICLES....KEWL ...I DID ANOTHER LONG POST:devil:

[HCS]

23. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.:)

[Jetaholic]

21. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz
together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
I've always wondered about this...I see LOTS of women take these so called "compatibility quizzes" they find in women's magazines...now of course this is AFTER the fact that they've recited their vows and gotten married. WHOA HOLD ON A MINUTE!? You're looking at the "Factory Equipment Included" label on the vehicle AFTER you purchased it!?
If a woman is taking one of these quizzes, that is a subconcious sign that she is in doubt of the success of her relationship with her significant other. And quite honestly, who the hell believes those stupid quizzes anyway? They were written by other human beings just like yourselves...their answers are simply nothing more than THEIR perception of what THEY consider a successful relationship...don't base your love life on someone elses' opinion. All that matters is two questions: "Do you love him/her like you would love no other?" and "Does he/she love you just the same?" If both of you can answer "YES" to both of these questions with no doubts in your mind, then the two of you will have the most successful relationship for as long as you both shall live.

[HCS]

6. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
;)

[38687]

nope ~im a gurrrrly, but...all the kiddies..."my sons"... and ( friends of "my sons") are around me ...sooo often... i just have gotten use 2 THEM AND "THERE WAYS"... (and hubbys friends 2)...awwww i just go with the flow...more of them, than me...:rolleyes: now, i could add number #42# TO THE LIST..."the hair cutting thing"...is that a guy thing, too? ARE we women suppose to accept THAT also...????? damn i hate that...they cut each others hair.... and leave it everywhere...in the garage, the bathroom, kitchen...gosh~ "whats up with that?"...HAIR IS SO HARD TO GET UP~~~ WHEN IT BLOWS ALL OVER THE PLACE...boys!!!:) ... i should of had "daughters... i can ""get around the shit listed ABOVE...but the hair thing...man! IT drives me "nuts"...i said "the next time, i will sweep it up~ and shove it in there new vehicles"...(HE HE heee lol )...but i could never REALLY DO THAT...THEY HAVE REALLY NICE VEHICLES....KEWL ...I DID ANOTHER LONG POST:devil:
Whos cutting whos hair ? Where does Dennis fit in to that story ?

[EAZYKILLER2006]

I've always wondered about this...I see LOTS of women take these so called "compatibility quizzes" they find in women's magazines...now of course this is AFTER the fact that they've recited their vows and gotten married. WHOA HOLD ON A MINUTE!? You're looking at the "Factory Equipment Included" label on the vehicle AFTER you purchased it!?
If a woman is taking one of these quizzes, that is a subconcious sign that she is in doubt of the success of her relationship with her significant other. And quite honestly, who the hell believes those stupid quizzes anyway? They were written by other human beings just like yourselves...their answers are simply nothing more than THEIR perception of what THEY consider a successful relationship...don't base your love life on someone elses' opinion. All that matters is two questions: "Do you love him/her like you would love no other?" and "Does he/she love you just the same?" If both of you can answer "YES" to both of these questions with no doubts in your mind, then the two of you will have the most successful relationship for as long as you both shall live.
hey jon...http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v70/phlint/My%20Pics/Myspace%20posting/anim199.gif

[Devil's Advocate]

Whos cutting whos hair ? Where does Dennis fit in to that story ?
I'm always confused after her posts.:D

[EAZYKILLER2006]

I'm always confused after her posts.:D
its an inside joke ~~~ya think ? you werent suppose to get it ...:jawdrop: LMAO...http://dl2.glitter-graphics.net/pub/7/7473lqj73rt73t.gif

[Devil's Advocate]

its an inside joke ~~~ya think ? you werent suppose to get it ...:jawdrop: LMAO...http://dl2.glitter-graphics.net/pub/7/7473lqj73rt73t.gif
Then how come I'm still lost on the other 373 posts?:D :D

[EAZYKILLER2006]

Then how come I'm still lost on the other 373 posts?:D :D
well darn ...i have a feelin ya are probably lost on alot of things...cant help ya there...

[Devil's Advocate]

well darn ...i have a feelin ya are probably lost on alot of things...cant help ya there...
LMFAO...No, you can't help me there.:D :D

[beerjet]

32. If you dont wanna sex with me , someone else will.

[EAZYKILLER2006]

LMFAO...No, you can't help me there.:D :D
lol:sqeyes: http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g306/pamelapk77/72.gif

[Devil's Advocate]

lol:sqeyes: http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g306/pamelapk77/72.gif
Oh now don't get all sour. Santa won't be coming to your house then.:crossx:

[EAZYKILLER2006]

Oh now don't get all sour. Santa won't be coming to your house then.:crossx:
lol~~~ oh no...i am just f*n around....BORED~~~its.... just.... I havent been on "my space in A WHILE" ~~~~ppl sent me some pretty kewl stuff...i 've been putting this shait up.... on every thread...(cus i just figured out how to do it) ...except for this "cat one" ...i will stick it up here...NOW~~~~but it is kinda...WELL U SEE FOR YOUR SELF...its kinda ..."oh my" what is that lil kitty doing?...lol HOPE IT WORKS...http://dl3.glitter-graphics.net/pub/6/6547pecr7thmhf.gif

[Devil's Advocate]

lol~~~ oh no...i am just f*n around....BORED~~~its.... just.... I havent been on "my space in A WHILE" ~~~~ppl sent me some pretty kewl stuff...i 've been putting this shait up.... on every thread...(cus i just figured out how to do it) ...except for this "cat one" ...i will stick it up here...NOW~~~~but it is kinda...WELL U SEE FOR YOUR SELF...its kinda ..."oh my" what is that lil kitty doing?...lol HOPE IT WORKS...http://dl3.glitter-graphics.net/pub/6/6547pecr7thmhf.gif
I've seen that one before. Funny kitty....:D My Space is a pretty whacked place.:crossx:

[EAZYKILLER2006]

I've seen that one before. Funny kitty....:D My Space is a pretty whacked place.:crossx:
LOL OH :( http://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k284/sparkletags/Christmas/dearsantamstags.gif

[Devil's Advocate]

LOL OH :( http://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k284/sparkletags/Christmas/dearsantamstags.gif
He does.:crossx: