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View Full Version : A question for divorced moms.....



SoCalSouthpaw
12-28-2006, 11:43 AM
My sis' is gettin a divorce. She has two beautiful children. She and the kids are staying at our parents house while the chump is staying in their home. My question is this, is it right for him to allow, and bring around another woman (his girlfriend), let her sleep in their bed with my sis' and his daughter, while he sleeps in another room (supposedly) and allow this other woman to give the kids gifts & sh*t? Is that sending a wrong msg to the kids at 6 and 4 yrs old? I dont have any kids yet. But, I can see where this might affect the kids in a bad way. This Ahole doesnt seem to think it does. Its hard enough for the kids to understand whats happening. But to add another woman to the mix, in what used to be a family home, seems to be a bad move. Just curious if my getting pissed at this ass for doing this is an over reaction.
Thanks....

Bre
12-28-2006, 11:46 AM
It's what happens. I have had to learn this the hard way. I myself wouldnt exactly care for it right off the bat, but it really doesn't matter what anyone thinks.... he is his own person and he is going to do what he wants. So like it or not.. it's happening.

Brady Bunch
12-28-2006, 11:49 AM
He has no idea how this is going to extremly affect his kids in the future. I have been in this situation but in reverse. I was the one who left the home with the kids and she stayed in it. She brought around every asshole she dated around my kids and it has affected them. He needs to think about the kids first...:mad:

topless
12-28-2006, 11:50 AM
My sis' is gettin a divorce. She has two beautiful children. She and the kids are staying at our parents house while the chump is staying in their home. My question is this, is it right for him to allow, and bring around another woman (his girlfriend), let her sleep in their bed with my sis' and his daughter, while he sleeps in another room (supposedly) and allow this other woman to give the kids gifts & sh*t? Is that sending a wrong msg to the kids at 6 and 4 yrs old? I dont have any kids yet. But, I can see where this might affect the kids in a bad way. This Ahole doesnt seem to think it does. Its hard enough for the kids to understand whats happening. But to add another woman to the mix, in what used to be a family home, seems to be a bad move. Just curious if my getting pissed at this ass for doing this is an over reaction.
Thanks....Wait a minute! His girlfriend is sleeping with your sister??????
:jawdrop:

LAFD
12-28-2006, 11:51 AM
Wait a minute! His girlfriend is sleeping with your sister??????
:jawdrop:
wasnt this a porno???

NOTALENT
12-28-2006, 11:55 AM
I guess it can go either way. My parents divorced when I was 4years old...my mom would date and stuff, but when I got to the 4th grade she kept bringing around who is now my step dad alot. He bought me and my brother all sorts of things we needed...(We grew up poor) He took us in as his own...my dad was still in the picture, but my step dad was and is a better role model. If it wasnt for him I dont think I would be anything like I am today or where I am at in life. He raised me, taught me alot about business and financing and helped out with soooo much more.
To sum it up, he made myself and my life better.

ratso
12-28-2006, 12:00 PM
I'm still trying to figure out who is sleeping with who, although normally I don't give a damn...:D

NOTALENT
12-28-2006, 12:05 PM
yeah...the only part I wouldnt condone is her sleeping with the kids in the same bed. I can see a mother being extremley mad and jealous about that.

ratso
12-28-2006, 12:13 PM
After #4 and I split, a few months later #5 started staying over a few nights a week, with her one and a half year old boy. I put the house on the market not too long after, but had a bedroom set up for her boy. I still remember the call after the realtor told my ex that she thought our boys were older and never knew we had an infant...:jawdrop: She asked the realtor why she thought that and was told about the playpen and toys and all in the bedroom. Talk about shit hitting the fan! She told me that no bitch was going to stay in HER house, and I had to inform her to check her divorce papers because it was no longer her house...:D
Involving kids in the matter we are speaking about though is wrong.:(

Kilrtoy
12-28-2006, 12:13 PM
As long as the woman is good to the kids, she should be happy..It could be reversed
More often than not, the kids get mistreated made to sleep on the couch and so on...
This happens alot the other person moving on with their life

ratso
12-28-2006, 12:15 PM
As long as the woman is good to the kids, she should be happy..It could be reversed
More often than not, the kids get mistreated made to sleep on the couch and so on...
This happens alot the other person moving on with their life
...and on the flip side, that can also be understandable in some cases.

Devil's Advocate
12-28-2006, 12:16 PM
Sounds tasteless and selfish to me. It's a fragile time right now, those kids are still trying to figure out and process what's happening I'm sure. It seems it only makes it more confusing and harder on them to allow the girlfriend to shack like that. Bad move IMO.

NoCal NoBoat
12-28-2006, 12:30 PM
Divorced dad here, and I don't want to come off like a Dr. Phil impersonator.
But this sounds real familiar to me...
I'm guessing that the husband initiated the separation, and whatever's going to happen. So he got the "emotional divorce" and made his move. Moving in the GF is a statement that he's "over it" and "moving on with his life". The GF is a "transitional relationship" and probably won't last for long. The GF, on the other hand, sounds like she's thinking LTR, and making nice with the children. Maybe already thinking about redecorating "his" house to make it feel a little more like "his and hers".
Advise your sister to consult an attorney, to find out where she stands, on questions of custody and support, and financially.
Not the best time to put the family home on the market.
Sorry to read about it.

Mandelon
12-28-2006, 12:41 PM
A little more Dr. Laura wouldn't hurt.

SoCalSouthpaw
12-28-2006, 12:45 PM
Divorced dad here, and I don't want to come off like a Dr. Phil impersonator.
But this sounds real familiar to me...
I'm guessing that the husband initiated the separation, and whatever's going to happen. So he got the "emotional divorce" and made his move. Moving in the GF is a statement that he's "over it" and "moving on with his life". The GF is a "transitional relationship" and probably won't last for long. The GF, on the other hand, sounds like she's thinking LTR, and making nice with the children. Maybe already thinking about redecorating "his" house to make it feel a little more like "his and hers".
Advise your sister to consult an attorney, to find out where she stands, on questions of custody and support, and financially.
Not the best time to put the family home on the market.
Sorry to read about it.
1.) The GF is sleeping in the bed w. my sis' daughter, not with my sis'. Sorry about the confusion. Hell, these days, that wouldnt be such a surprise. Sure would make for a more interesting thread.
2.) My sis' left him.
3.) She's got an attorney.
4.) Just had mediation for custody/ visitation and true to form, he made an arrogant ass out of himself.

NoCal NoBoat
12-28-2006, 12:52 PM
SCS -
Thanks for clarifying. Glad your sister is taking care of herself.
NCNB

thumbs
12-28-2006, 12:55 PM
I guess it can go either way. My parents divorced when I was 4years old...my mom would date and stuff, but when I got to the 4th grade she kept bringing around who is now my step dad alot. He bought me and my brother all sorts of things we needed...(We grew up poor) He took us in as his own...my dad was still in the picture, but my step dad was and is a better role model. If it wasnt for him I dont think I would be anything like I am today or where I am at in life. He raised me, taught me alot about business and financing and helped out with soooo much more.
To sum it up, he made myself and my life better.
As long as the woman is good to the kids, she should be happy..It could be reversed
More often than not, the kids get mistreated made to sleep on the couch and so on...
This happens alot the other person moving on with their life
I think these two post say it all.

eliminatedsprinter
12-28-2006, 12:59 PM
1.) The GF is sleeping in the bed w. my sis' daughter, not with my sis'. Sorry about the confusion. Hell, these days, that wouldnt be such a surprise. Sure would make for a more interesting thread.
2.) My sis' left him.
3.) She's got an attorney.
4.) Just had mediation for custody/ visitation and true to form, he made an arrogant ass out of himself.
None of this makes any sense. If the guy is sleeping in their house and your sister and the kids are sleeping at your folks house, why would the girlfriend have to sleep with any of the kids? Doesn't he have enough sense not to have the GF stay over on nights when he has the kids??

SoCalSouthpaw
12-28-2006, 01:15 PM
None of this makes any sense. If the guy is sleeping in their house and your sister and the kids are sleeping at your folks house, why would the girlfriend have to sleep with any of them? Doesn't he have enough sense not to have the GF stay over on nights when he has the kids??
My argument precisely. Even had a man to man and tried to let this guy know that it is obviously having an effect on the daughter (6yrs), and to keep the other woman out of the scene when the kids are with him. Focking assinine.
Look, its gona happen sooner or later. Understood. But, friggen 2-3 months into this mess? Kids dont know whats exactly happening as is. My sis', when she decides to date - which she could give a sh*t less about at this time, isnt even going to bring a guy around her kids until it gets serious. I try to stay out of it. But add this to all the other schoolyard semantics this chump is pulling in an attempt to make the divorce as turbulent as possible - just has me chewin my tongue off. :mad:

eliminatedsprinter
12-28-2006, 01:30 PM
This sounds like the type of situation where 2 people could easily go broke while they mess up their kids and give everything they have worked for to attorneys. He is an idiot for not making nice for at least long enough to get through mediation. Now it sounds like it is going to be a lose lose situation with both sides best option being nothing more than damage control.

lucky
12-28-2006, 01:33 PM
was'nt me -- I'm all respectful and shit :)_ :D

Rattle Can Lou
12-28-2006, 01:49 PM
The guy is obviously a low life punk who cares about his needs only. He is the kinda Dad that is going to question why his kids are making wrong choices when they are in their teens. I heard a cool story for introducing children to the next person that may be important in a parents life. A prearranged meeting in a park with your children. A freind of mine took his kids to a park and arranged for his girlfreind to be in the park with her dog. They crossed each others path and the kids wanted to play with the dog. So they stood there while the kids played with the pooch for about 10 minutes. Finally she said she had to go and gave the kids her phone number in case they ever wanted to play with the dog in the park again. I think you know the rest of the story. Great way to introduce somebody new to your kids.

Misogynist
12-28-2006, 02:10 PM
I'm still trying to figure out who is sleeping with who, although normally I don't give a damn...:D
I was thinking the same thing... ahhahahahahahah... :D

Havasu1986
12-28-2006, 02:11 PM
The guy is obviously a low life punk who cares about his needs only. He is the kinda Dad that is going to question why his kids are making wrong choices when they are in their teens. I heard a cool story for introducing children to the next person that may be important in a parents life. A prearranged meeting in a park with your children. A freind of mine took his kids to a park and arranged for his girlfreind to be in the park with her dog. They crossed each others path and the kids wanted to play with the dog. So they stood there while the kids played with the pooch for about 10 minutes. Finally she said she had to go and gave the kids her phone number in case they ever wanted to play with the dog in the park again. I think you know the rest of the story. Great way to introduce somebody new to your kids.
What if she doesn't have a dog.:)

Rattle Can Lou
12-28-2006, 02:21 PM
You can always borrow a freakin dog!! don't ya think.

DansBlown73Nordic
12-28-2006, 02:29 PM
lol

lucky
12-28-2006, 02:31 PM
The guy is obviously a low life punk who cares about his needs only. He is the kinda Dad that is going to question why his kids are making wrong choices when they are in their teens. I heard a cool story for introducing children to the next person that may be important in a parents life. A prearranged meeting in a park with your children. A freind of mine took his kids to a park and arranged for his girlfreind to be in the park with her dog. They crossed each others path and the kids wanted to play with the dog. So they stood there while the kids played with the pooch for about 10 minutes. Finally she said she had to go and gave the kids her phone number in case they ever wanted to play with the dog in the park again. I think you know the rest of the story. Great way to introduce somebody new to your kids.
is the dog regestered with megan's law ????????

moneypit
12-28-2006, 02:32 PM
As long as the woman is good to the kids, she should be happy..It could be reversed
More often than not, the kids get mistreated made to sleep on the couch and so on...
This happens alot the other person moving on with their life
exactly my thoughts...Also, theres always two sides to the story.

Rattle Can Lou
12-28-2006, 02:33 PM
Only if your involved Lucky.

lucky
12-28-2006, 02:34 PM
Only if your involved Lucky.
10 furrrrr on that one big buddy ;)

Riverless
12-28-2006, 02:40 PM
My sis' is gettin a divorce. She has two beautiful children. She and the kids are staying at our parents house while the chump is staying in their home. My question is this, is it right for him to allow, and bring around another woman (his girlfriend), let her sleep in their bed with my sis' and his daughter, while he sleeps in another room (supposedly) and allow this other woman to give the kids gifts & sh*t? Is that sending a wrong msg to the kids at 6 and 4 yrs old? I dont have any kids yet. But, I can see where this might affect the kids in a bad way. This Ahole doesnt seem to think it does. Its hard enough for the kids to understand whats happening. But to add another woman to the mix, in what used to be a family home, seems to be a bad move. Just curious if my getting pissed at this ass for doing this is an over reaction.
Thanks....
You are not over reacting. Girlfriend should not be in the house, let alone sleeping over, when the kids are there, period. Your brother-in-law is being selfish and looking out for his needs, only, not the children's.

acatitude
12-28-2006, 02:45 PM
Wait a minute! His girlfriend is sleeping with your sister??????
:jawdrop:
priceless:D

Biglue
12-28-2006, 02:46 PM
We know someone with a kid she brings around every Tom Dick and Harry she's dated. Poor kid is confused. Your ex bro in law needs to pull his head out of his ass. It's hard enough for the children to learn to live without their parents being together. Adding other people involved to the picture is just a bad idea this early into the seperation. Once the kids have adjusted and he thinks this next gf is the "next one" only then should he allow the kids to be around her. I would think most parents would put their kids first over the next piece of tail. Just my .02.

Silver
12-28-2006, 03:12 PM
My sis' is gettin a divorce. She has two beautiful children. She and the kids are staying at our parents house while the chump is staying in their home. My question is this, is it right for him to allow, and bring around another woman (his girlfriend), let her sleep in their bed with my sis' and his daughter, while he sleeps in another room (supposedly) and allow this other woman to give the kids gifts & sh*t? Is that sending a wrong msg to the kids at 6 and 4 yrs old? I dont have any kids yet. But, I can see where this might affect the kids in a bad way. This Ahole doesnt seem to think it does. Its hard enough for the kids to understand whats happening. But to add another woman to the mix, in what used to be a family home, seems to be a bad move. Just curious if my getting pissed at this ass for doing this is an over reaction.
Thanks....
Omg. I went through this exact situation! No it's wrong! And he's a F@#king Ass****! He's most likely a selfish kinda guy!
I have so much to say/share.
Things will get better in time, but not without a hell of a rough ride! My situation was back in 98.

Silver
12-28-2006, 03:15 PM
My argument precisely. Even had a man to man and tried to let this guy know that it is obviously having an effect on the daughter (6yrs), and to keep the other woman out of the scene when the kids are with him. Focking assinine.
Look, its gona happen sooner or later. Understood. But, friggen 2-3 months into this mess? Kids dont know whats exactly happening as is. My sis', when she decides to date - which she could give a sh*t less about at this time, isnt even going to bring a guy around her kids until it gets serious. I try to stay out of it. But add this to all the other schoolyard semantics this chump is pulling in an attempt to make the divorce as turbulent as possible - just has me chewin my tongue off. :mad:
What city/county will they be going to court in?

wolfie
12-28-2006, 05:36 PM
1.) The GF is sleeping in the bed w. my sis' daughter, not with my sis'. Sorry about the confusion. Hell, these days, that wouldnt be such a surprise. Sure would make for a more interesting thread.
2.) My sis' left him.
3.) She's got an attorney.
4.) Just had mediation for custody/ visitation and true to form, he made an arrogant ass out of himself.
I liked this thread a little more when she was sleeping with your sister.
sorry, just kidding.

lewiville
12-29-2006, 12:55 AM
Dude,
its ethically wrong and plain stupid. really all you can do is just make sure that this ass gaskit does not do this in front of the kids. I have a 4 and 6 year old and at that age they just ask way to many questions and always want to know whats going on. just be the eyes and ears for the kids.

2forcefull
12-29-2006, 01:39 AM
let me see if I got this right,
Sis decided she didn't want to be married and left,
bro-inlaw wants to be married and got a new women,
sis didn't want to be alone,so she went home mom & dad
bro inlaw, doesn't want to be alone, so he moved his girl friend in.
:idea:

a catered life
12-29-2006, 03:49 AM
let me see if I got this right,
Sis decided she didn't want to be married and left,
bro-inlaw wants to be married and got a new women,
sis didn't want to be alone,so she went home mom & dad
bro inlaw, doesn't want to be alone, so he moved his girl friend in.
:idea:
this sounds right so far
my $.02 cents...first the husband is real stupid and selfish...but you can never expect some one t react to issues as you would..the sister in my mind is crazy for leaving and also leaving the kids......i hope she has a good lawyer because these courts are crazy these days..

centerhill condor
12-29-2006, 06:13 AM
and by the way, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

TAF
12-29-2006, 06:16 AM
It dawned on me while I was target shooting and splitting wood on the back 40 last night, so you say he's an A hole. I hear that a lot of great women fall for arsholes so maybe the kids saving Grace from their pops stupidity is the fact he found a lovin woman (who will put up w/ his sh.t) & who'll be the best female to watch out for his kids best interests. Just a thought. I'm a divorced male and I've noticed some of the women I've dated just wanna have fun and have done some dumb things regarding their children in order to continue having fun.:devil: Has your sis spoke to the other woman? That might be the best thing .