Paging Anna Nichole

[mrs.rvrluvr]

sorry I couldn't resist:D :D :D

[dumbandyoung]

i think she's in glamis with "deano/unleashed" ..... :rolleyes:
No I heard shes with blowncarrera offering blow jobs for the first buyer of his boat? ...just what i heard.;)

[Jetboatguru]

Hello?
She's dead!!!!!!!!!!:rolleyes:

[dumbandyoung]

shes not dead!

[FlatStupid]

She's left the building.:eek:

[lucky]

shes not dead!
Obviouly you never slept with her :):D

[Jetboatguru]

shes not dead!
Is SO!

[goneboatin]

She's checked out......

[riverroyal]

drug related?

[rrrr]

I still have a few big bags of TrimSpa with ephedrine I got when they sponsored our IRL car if anybody wants some. :jawdrop: :D :D

[Boatcop]

shes not dead!
A customer enters a TrimSpa shop.
Customer: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The owner does not respond.)
C: 'Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean "miss"?
C: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
O: We're closin' for lunch.
C: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this Anna Nicole what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
O: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blonde...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
C: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'She's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
O: No, no, 'e's uh,...she's resting.
C: Look, matey, I know a dead Anna Nicole when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
O: No no she's not dead, she's, she's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blonde, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
C: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
O: Nononono, no, no! 'It's resting!
C: All right then, if she's restin', I'll wake her up!
(shouting at the cage)
'Ello, Miss Anna Nicole! I've got a lovely fresh 100 dollar bill for you if you show...(owner hits the cage)
O: There, she moved!
C: No, she didn't, that was you hitting the cage!
O: I never!!
C: Yes, you did!
O: I never, never did anything...
C: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO ANNA!!!!!
Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Takes bimbo out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
C: Now that's what I call a dead Anna.
O: No, no.....No, 'she's stunned!
C: STUNNED?!?
O: Yeah! You stunned her, just as she was wakin' up! Norwegian Blondes stun easily, major.
C: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That Bimbo is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged bath.
O: Well, he's...she's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.
C: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did she fall flat on her back the moment I got 'er home?
O: The Norwegian Blonde prefers kippin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
C: Look, I took the liberty of examining that Anna when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its couch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.
(pause)
O: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its boobs, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
C: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'She's bleedin' demised!
O: No no! 'She's pining!
C: 'Shes not pinin'! 'She's passed on! This Bimbo is no more! She has ceased to be! 'She's expired and gone to meet 'her maker!
'She's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'she rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'er to the perch 'she'd be pushing up the daisies!
''Er metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'She's off the twig!
'She's kicked the bucket, 'she's shuffled off 'er mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!
THIS IS AN EX-ANNA!!
(Apologies to Monty Python et al)

[rrrr]

LMAO!!!!! I was thinking about Monty Python.....
MORTICIAN: Bring out your dead!
Bring out your dead!
[clang] Bring out your dead!
[clang] Bring out your dead!
[clang] Bring out your dead!
[clang] Bring out your dead!
CUSTOMER: Here's one -- nine pence.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead!
MORTICIAN: What?
CUSTOMER: Nothing -- here's your nine pence.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead!
MORTICIAN: Here -- she says he's not dead!
CUSTOMER: Yes, she is.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not!
MORTICIAN: She isn't.
CUSTOMER: Well, she will be soon, she's very ill.
DEAD PERSON: I'm getting better!
CUSTOMER: No, you're not -- you'll be stone dead in a moment.
MORTICIAN: Oh, I can't take her like that -- it's against
regulations.
DEAD PERSON: I don't want to go in the cart!
CUSTOMER: Oh, don't be such a baby.
MORTICIAN: I can't take her...
DEAD PERSON: I feel fine!
CUSTOMER: Oh, do us a favor...
MORTICIAN: I can't.
CUSTOMER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? She
won't be long.
MORTICIAN: Naaah, I got to go on to Robinson's -- they've lost
nine today.
CUSTOMER: Well, when is your next round?
MORTICIAN: Thursday.
DEAD PERSON: I think I'll go for a walk.
CUSTOMER: You're not fooling anyone y'know. Look, isn't there
something you can do?
DEAD PERSON: I feel happy... I feel happy.
[whop]
CUSTOMER: Ah, thanks very much.
MORTICIAN: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
CUSTOMER: Right.
[clop clop]
MORTICIAN: Who's that then?
CUSTOMER: I don't know.
MORTICIAN: Must be a king.
CUSTOMER: Why?
MORTICIAN: He hasn't got shit all over him.