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View Full Version : What kinda price is on your head?



ratso
03-29-2007, 09:40 AM
I've always liked younger women... always. Heck, when I was going into my senior year of high school, my sweetheart was in 8th grade... and a preachers daughter... corrupt little individual right there.;) For years I've tried to stay around the twenty something year mark with chicks, but as I'm "maturing" and hanging around my son and a lot of our 20/30 something year old friends, there is a lot more interference being run lol, before getting to me, if they do at all... All of the sudden these older chicks are getting braver on approaching me, which isn't too bad, just something I'm not in too big of a hurry on getting used to... I was out Sunday night with my son and friends... having a few too many... and this 40 something year old chick was trying everything she could to snatch me up for the night. My son proceeds to tell her that she don't stand a chance because I "date" chicks younger than him most of the time... but she was so dang persistent and I drank about 20 to 25 pounds and about 15 years off of her, so I broke down... Charity Case # 2 on the year already... Anyway about 8 am Monday morning and on round 3 of beatin' that ass into oblivion... I'm thinking "Man, this stuff ain't too damn bad"...
Well, last night I'm getting ready to go out and this chick calls as I'm just waking from a nap... She says "This is Allison" and I'm thinking "Topless???" Took me a minute to get my head right...
Anyway, I figure out who it is finally (I gotta quit giving out business cards to chicks in bars)... she is this chick, gotta be nearing 50, decent looking, has a body from Hell... she came up to me one night and said she was on call and she had to leave, and was wondering if I was going to be out the next night... I told her I was going to be out of town and I thought she was going to cry... she walked off and then came back and says "I'm not very good at this, but I just wanted you to know that I was trying to pick you up"... I just told her "Keep practicing and I'm sure you'll get better at it"...http://***boat.com/ubb/graemlins/idea_2.gif
Okay, now we get to "What kinda price is on your head?"
We have a large group out last night, go eat and decide to stop for a couple of drinks... after all it's Bikini and Chaps night at one of the local bars. I see a lot of these ladies out quite a bit, they always come up and we hug, give a peck on the cheek or, depending on who it is, full on the lips. This one lady, a widow, is one of the sweetest women I have ever met in my life. I always give her a peck on the lips and ask how she is doing etc and so on. Her and her husband had built a very very successful business and this is one very rich lady. She always jokes around about taking me home one night and always goes on and on about me. She has to be in her 60s. We are all in a big circle cutting up and she starts in again on how she wants to take me home and what she would like to do with me, even says she could be #6. I'm telling her "Mrs "D", you know I don't have that good of a track record"... We're all rotfl right along with her, and she says "Would a 2 million dollar sign on bonus do the trick?":jawdrop: I tell her I couldn't take her money...;) She goes "You think I'm joking and I'm not"...:jawdrop: :jawdrop: She then grabs my crotch and says "I don't even need a pre-nup":jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop:
I gotta admit, maybe she was drunk, but damn, what if she was serious? I can't really say I feel "cheap" right now, maybe just a little Duurty...:D
Anyone ever try to buy you, dare you to do something or someone... and how much would it or did it take to get you to do the deed???

hoolign
03-29-2007, 09:47 AM
Leave it to Ratso! :D

TAF
03-29-2007, 09:50 AM
I'm telling her "Mrs "D", you know I don't have that good of a track record"... We're all rotfl right along with her, and she says "Would a 2 million dollar sign on bonus do the trick?":jawdrop: I tell her I couldn't take her money...;) She goes "You think I'm joking and I'm not"...:jawdrop: :jawdrop: She then grabs my crotch and says "I don't even need a pre-nup":jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop:
I gotta admit, maybe she was drunk, but damn, what if she was serious? I can't really say I feel "cheap" right now, maybe just a little Duurty...:D
Anyone ever try to buy you, dare you to do something or someone... and how much would it or did it take to get you to do the deed???[/QUOTE]
So did you? And you should never take all the money so to allow yerself a walk away clause down the road. You should and I'm sure you do feel honored that you had the price on yer head. Congratulations. Can't say I ever was that good.:D

plaster dave
03-29-2007, 09:51 AM
I would do it for alot less.:D

Ziggy
03-29-2007, 09:52 AM
How long would you expect her to live? :D
Awwwwww, no way did I just say that....:eek:
.
I'm joking Ratso.................
.
money will never buy happiness..........thats how I'd look at it. Do you think you'd have any sexual freedom that you are so accustomed to?

Jordy
03-29-2007, 09:54 AM
money will never buy happiness..........thats how I'd look at it.
But $2 mil will buy lots of things that would make me happy!!! :D :D :D
Ratso, you man wh0re!!! :D :D :D

CBadDad
03-29-2007, 09:55 AM
I would do it for alot less.:D
Hell ya!

SummerBreeze
03-29-2007, 09:55 AM
Sorry, but I don't buy this story

Biglue
03-29-2007, 09:56 AM
Check out Ratso going all Anna Nicole n shit. :D
For $2 Mil.......shit, she'd have 2 broken hips this morning. :)

beaverretriever
03-29-2007, 09:56 AM
LMAO... Ratso never ceases to crack me up...
:)

lucky
03-29-2007, 09:58 AM
well - i feel dirty now - i was thinking a bottle of patron and a file to sharpen my teeth the next morning

SHOTKALLIN
03-29-2007, 10:00 AM
Damn Ratso. You have got to be the only guy in the world who has been divorced 5 times and still enjoys life. I applaud you for that. Now on the serious note, thats one car I would test drive. I'm under the impression that she doesn't look like some geriatric old hag. Just what if she performed like an old Ferrari? I'm not sayin I would buy the car but I would definitely go for a lil spin. After all shouldn't the president of your fan club get a lil something? Whats wrong with having a Sugar Mama???;)

TAF
03-29-2007, 10:04 AM
Could I be yer high priced stunt double Ratso?:sqeyes: :D I'm still not under contract yet

40FlatDeck
03-29-2007, 10:05 AM
Nice work Ratso, nice work. I love young women too but I grow tired of being the one who always has to buy, pay for things. 2 million? What are the ground rules? :idea:

RiverDave
03-29-2007, 10:07 AM
Damn Ratso is going all "indecent proposal" on us n shit!!!
RD

Mr. Crusader 83
03-29-2007, 10:07 AM
Should have done it bro. There aint no shame in pimpin.
I love how people say money cant buy you happiness. Well jordy said it best, It will buy you things that make you happy.
Me and some of my buddys where in Victoria BC. we were at this bar, the ratio of women to men was great. 4/1. so this older lady asked my buddy to dance, he looked terified, cuz she wouldnt let him go. After 3-4 songs and i dont know how many drinks we ended up at her house with her 2 daughters. We drank and dance somemore. as we were getting ready to leave this lady in her late 40's asked my buddy to stay. He told her he couldnt that he was in the uscg and we needed to get back to Wa. She said stay and i will fly you down. The next morning a private heli. lands at the airstation and its my buddy. She gave him 25k for the one night and said next time he was in town it would double. Not to shabby for a 20 year old guy.

MtnCrackWhore
03-29-2007, 10:08 AM
Ah ah ah ahhhhhBULLSHIT. (sniff) excuse me.

Dave C
03-29-2007, 10:10 AM
ALOT LESS... lol!
I would do it for alot less.:D
Ratso... its an indecent proposal moment... damn it why didn't your lawyer first. Have you seen Ratso.. he is worth at least $5 million. LOL

beaverretriever
03-29-2007, 10:13 AM
What are the ground rules? :idea:
"Ratso, can you change my colostomy bag?"
"Ratso, can you take me to my bridge game?"
"Ratso, can you change my bed pan, roll me over and clean my bed sores?".
I am assuming those will be a few of them. :D

AZJD
03-29-2007, 10:18 AM
I dare somebody to give me a shit pot of money to prove it doesn't buy happieness!:D

rrrr
03-29-2007, 10:19 AM
"Ratso, can you change my colostomy bag?"
"Ratso, can you take me to my bridge game?"
"Ratso, can you change my bed pan, roll me over and clean my bed sores?".
I am assuming those will be a few of them. :D
LMFAO!!!!! :D
I'm thinking about a road trip to Waco just to watch El Jefe in action and pick up some of his table scraps........:D :D :D

ratso
03-29-2007, 10:23 AM
"Ratso, can you change my colostomy bag?"
"Ratso, can you take me to my bridge game?"
"Ratso, can you change my bed pan, roll me over and clean my bed sores?".
I am assuming those will be a few of them. :D
...lol... and then reality slaps you in the face.:jawdrop:

Mr. Crusader 83
03-29-2007, 10:24 AM
I dare somebody to give me a shit pot of money to prove it doesn't buy happieness!:D
I will try too :D

MtnCrackWhore
03-29-2007, 10:28 AM
An old guy once offered me a warm can Bud and a 4 stale Doritos for a night of hot sex.
Grandpa should have known Im more of a Funonions gal

ratso
03-29-2007, 10:28 AM
LMFAO!!!!! :D
I'm thinking about a road trip to Waco just to watch El Jefe in action and pick up some of his table scraps........:D :D :D
We'll be in "Snook" this weekend for the Chilifest... that is a damn good time there. Supposed to be over 30,000 people.
Willie Nelson, Aaron Watson, Cross Canadian Ragweed, Pat Green, Jack Ingram... all performing...;)

Racer277
03-29-2007, 10:31 AM
Just try not to shake something loose, Tiger...

bocco
03-29-2007, 11:20 AM
Gonna need pictures.