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vee-driven
10-28-2007, 09:26 PM
that might get your ass kicked. hahah
Halloween is under a week away. Time for you to get off your ass and make a costume. Here are some suggestions to help you on your way.
Jesus
This is a one person costume. First, grow your hair to shoulder length. Next, make a big batch of stage blood by adding red food coloring to corn syrup. Build a full size cross out of oak wood. Craft a crown made out of thorny reeds and put it on. Dump a couple buckets of the fake blood over your head. Now walk down the street carrying the cross. Your neighbors will love it! Trick or treat!
KKK member
This costume can be worn by just one person, but is much more effective if worn by a group of people. I think you're familiar with what this costume looks like. White robe, white pointy hood. To complete the outfit, carry a shotgun and a noose with you. If you're feeling ambitious, erect a full size wooden cross in your front yard and set it on fire.
Scott Peterson
This is a one person costume intended for a white male. First, dye your hair yellow. Purchase a toy plastic baby and obtain the head from a mannequin. Cover them both with stage blood and carry them around with you. Costume complete!
If you're feeling ambitious, you can build a prop aluminum boat for wearing around your waist. Keep the baby and severed head props in the boat with you. A nice touch would be a concrete anchor to go along with the boat. The next day, sell all your wife's belongings, perhaps on ebay.
O.J. Simpson
Similar to the Scott Peterson costume, this is a one person costume intended for a black male. Wear a pair of black leather gloves, dress slacks, white dress shirt, dress shoes, and leather jacket. Obtain the head from a female mannequin and obtain the head from a male mannequin. Cover them both with stage blood and carry them around with you. Also carry a giant butcher's knife. Costume complete!
If you're feeling ambitious, you can wear a prop necklace made of human ears and get a friend to drive you on the freeway in his Bronco while you make calls on your cell phone from the back seat. If you have a friend who is a cop, he can chase you on the freeway in his cruiser. For the final touch, schedule a round of golf for the next morning. And don't forget to catch the "real killers".
Nazi and Jew
This is a group costume. Designate which people will be Nazis and which will be Jews All the Jews should start losing weight to achieve a sickly starving appearance. They should also get a tattoo on their arm, something resembling a serial number. All the Nazis should get matching haircuts. Throw some tattered clothes on the Jews, get some Nazi costumes for the Nazis and head on out to collect some candy (only the Nazis are allowed to eat it).
Child abductor
This is a one person costume. Dress in jeans and hooded sweatshirt with a baseball cap. Carry candy in your pocket, offer it to all the kids you see. Drive a van slowly around the neighborhood, speed away when you see an adult. Ask kids for directions or ask them to help you find your lost dog. Hint: don't actually abduct any children.
Twin Towers
You need at least two people for this costume, and up to four. One person wears a costume that resembles a World Trade Center tower (if you have a third person, 2 of them wear this costume, one tower each). The other person wears an airplane costume (if you have a fourth person, 2 of them wear an airplane costume). For full effect, at unsuspecting times throughout the evening, the person in the plane costume should violently crash into the person in the tower costume.
The devil is in the details. Cut openings in your tower costume at various window locations and keep a cigarette lit inside the costume. When the plane costume crashes into you, blow smoke through the openings. Keep some Ken and Barbie dolls, maybe some G.I. Joe's, inside the costume so that you can toss them out of the costume's window openings after a few minutes of smoke.
Party on!
Wear any of these costumes to a Halloween party and I guarantee you will be the talk of the party! Better yet, plan your party to only allow costumes from this list! Where else could you find Jesus mingling with Nazis and O.J. Simpson partying with the KKK? Throw that party and I guarantee you will be the talk of the town!

uLtRADeNniS
10-28-2007, 11:42 PM
that might get your ass kicked. hahah
Halloween is under a week away. Time for you to get off your ass and make a costume. Here are some suggestions to help you on your way.
Jesus
This is a one person costume. First, grow your hair to shoulder length. Next, make a big batch of stage blood by adding red food coloring to corn syrup. Build a full size cross out of oak wood. Craft a crown made out of thorny reeds and put it on. Dump a couple buckets of the fake blood over your head. Now walk down the street carrying the cross. Your neighbors will love it! Trick or treat!
KKK member
This costume can be worn by just one person, but is much more effective if worn by a group of people. I think you're familiar with what this costume looks like. White robe, white pointy hood. To complete the outfit, carry a shotgun and a noose with you. If you're feeling ambitious, erect a full size wooden cross in your front yard and set it on fire.
Scott Peterson
This is a one person costume intended for a white male. First, dye your hair yellow. Purchase a toy plastic baby and obtain the head from a mannequin. Cover them both with stage blood and carry them around with you. Costume complete!
If you're feeling ambitious, you can build a prop aluminum boat for wearing around your waist. Keep the baby and severed head props in the boat with you. A nice touch would be a concrete anchor to go along with the boat. The next day, sell all your wife's belongings, perhaps on ebay.
O.J. Simpson
Similar to the Scott Peterson costume, this is a one person costume intended for a black male. Wear a pair of black leather gloves, dress slacks, white dress shirt, dress shoes, and leather jacket. Obtain the head from a female mannequin and obtain the head from a male mannequin. Cover them both with stage blood and carry them around with you. Also carry a giant butcher's knife. Costume complete!
If you're feeling ambitious, you can wear a prop necklace made of human ears and get a friend to drive you on the freeway in his Bronco while you make calls on your cell phone from the back seat. If you have a friend who is a cop, he can chase you on the freeway in his cruiser. For the final touch, schedule a round of golf for the next morning. And don't forget to catch the "real killers".
Nazi and Jew
This is a group costume. Designate which people will be Nazis and which will be Jews All the Jews should start losing weight to achieve a sickly starving appearance. They should also get a tattoo on their arm, something resembling a serial number. All the Nazis should get matching haircuts. Throw some tattered clothes on the Jews, get some Nazi costumes for the Nazis and head on out to collect some candy (only the Nazis are allowed to eat it).
Child abductor
This is a one person costume. Dress in jeans and hooded sweatshirt with a baseball cap. Carry candy in your pocket, offer it to all the kids you see. Drive a van slowly around the neighborhood, speed away when you see an adult. Ask kids for directions or ask them to help you find your lost dog. Hint: don't actually abduct any children.
Twin Towers
You need at least two people for this costume, and up to four. One person wears a costume that resembles a World Trade Center tower (if you have a third person, 2 of them wear this costume, one tower each). The other person wears an airplane costume (if you have a fourth person, 2 of them wear an airplane costume). For full effect, at unsuspecting times throughout the evening, the person in the plane costume should violently crash into the person in the tower costume.
The devil is in the details. Cut openings in your tower costume at various window locations and keep a cigarette lit inside the costume. When the plane costume crashes into you, blow smoke through the openings. Keep some Ken and Barbie dolls, maybe some G.I. Joe's, inside the costume so that you can toss them out of the costume's window openings after a few minutes of smoke.
Party on!
Wear any of these costumes to a Halloween party and I guarantee you will be the talk of the party! Better yet, plan your party to only allow costumes from this list! Where else could you find Jesus mingling with Nazis and O.J. Simpson partying with the KKK? Throw that party and I guarantee you will be the talk of the town!
LMAO!!
That world trade center one is awesome!