BEER&WATER
11-08-2007, 08:56 PM
In summary, the police arrested mr brown, 59+ year old white male, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.
On Monday, at the County courthouse, brown was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session he decided to stop. "You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around" he stated in a telephone interview. brown went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged 'need.' "Guess I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process of doing the deed, brown failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until officer
Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I walked up to Mr. brown and he's just banging away at this pumpkin." Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached brown. "I said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?" He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and
then he looked me straight in the face and said....."A pumpkin? ..... Shit...is it midnight already?"
On Monday, at the County courthouse, brown was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session he decided to stop. "You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around" he stated in a telephone interview. brown went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged 'need.' "Guess I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process of doing the deed, brown failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until officer
Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I walked up to Mr. brown and he's just banging away at this pumpkin." Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached brown. "I said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?" He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and
then he looked me straight in the face and said....."A pumpkin? ..... Shit...is it midnight already?"