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View Full Version : Something to offend EVERYONE!!!!!



Ms. AquaBoogie1
07-15-2003, 09:47 AM
Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Special Olympics?
>
>A: Not being retarded
>--------
>Q: What's blue and ****s old people?
>
>A: Hypothermia
>--------
>Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the
battered wives' shelter?
>
>A: The dishes if she knows what's good for her
>--------
>Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time
>
>A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
>-------
>Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
>
>A: Something a woman does while a guy is f*cking her.
>-------
>Q: What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in common?
>
>A: They don't ****ing listen.
>-------
>Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
>
>A: Gonorrhea
>-------
>Q: Why did God create yeast infections?
>
>A: So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating **** once in a while too.
>-------
>Q. How can you tell a macho woman?
>
>A. She rolls her own tampons.
>--------
>Q. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?
>
>A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.
>--------
>Q. What's the difference between acne and a Michael Jackson?
>
>A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least 13 years old.
>--------
>Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
>
>A. Marry it.
>---------
>Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
>
>A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
>--------
>Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
>
>A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.
>-------
>Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise &semen?
>
>A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at thirty miles an hour.
>-------
>Q. Why do women call it PMS?
>
>A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
>-------
>Q. What's a mixed feeling?
>
>A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.>
>-------
>Q. What's the height of conceit?
>
>A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
>-------
>Q. What's the definition of macho?
>
>A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
>------
>Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
>
>A. The cake jumps out of the girl.
>------
>Q. What's the difference between oral sex &anal sex?
>
>A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
>-------
>Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
>
>A. You know she'll swallow.
>-------
>Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same day in Iraq?
>
>A. They don't want to wear out the camel.
>-------
>Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
>
>A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
>---------
>Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
>
>A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
>--------
>Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it is
> bedtime?
>
>A. When the big hand touches the little hand...
>-------
>Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
>
>A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.
>--------
>Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
>
>A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick.
>-------
>Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
>
>A. Because it's worth it.

Blown 472
07-15-2003, 09:51 AM
What is black and white and read all over?
A nun with mutiple stab wounds.

78Eliminator
07-15-2003, 09:55 AM
What is the definition of "Relative Humidity"?
The amount of sweat on your sister's back when you **** her up the ass.
My dad told me that one :D

Blown 472
07-15-2003, 09:58 AM
78Eliminator:
What is the definition of "Relative Humidity"?
The amount of sweat on your sister's back when you **** her up the ass.
My dad told me that one :D Nive avitar dude.

MRS FLYIN VEE
07-15-2003, 09:59 AM
How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
> Whats a light bulb? :)

Boozer
07-15-2003, 10:00 AM
What's the worst part of eating Bald Pussy?
Putting the Diaper back on.
What's the hardest part of ****ing a deaf mute girl?
Cutting her hands off so she cant go home and tell her mom.

Moneypitt
07-15-2003, 10:02 AM
Did you know that Michael Jackson is suing the group Boyz to men.
He's claiming false advertising, he thought they were a delivery service!!!!

MRS FLYIN VEE
07-15-2003, 10:05 AM
There was a pirate who walked into a bar with a paret on his shoulder, a wooden leg from the knee down and a steering wheel in his pants. The bar tender asked him " Do you know you have a steering wheel in your pants?" The pirate said " Arge, Yes it's drivin me nutts." :rolleyes:

Jungle Boy
07-15-2003, 10:35 AM
How do you make a woman scream twice? **** her in the ass and wipe your dick on the curtains.

Ms. AquaBoogie1
07-15-2003, 10:46 AM
Jungle Boy:
How do you make a woman scream twice? **** her in the ass and wipe your dick on the curtains. lol...that's nasty!!!

hd&boatrider
07-15-2003, 10:48 AM
Boozer:
What's the worst part of eating Bald Pussy?
Putting the Diaper back on.
What's the hardest part of ****ing a deaf mute girl?
Cutting her hands off so she cant go home and tell her mom. That is some sick shit...lol

MRS FLYIN VEE
07-15-2003, 10:58 AM
What do you tell a guy with 2 black eyes?
Nothing you already told him twice. :D :D

Boozer
07-15-2003, 11:01 AM
MRS FLYIN VEE:
What do you tell a guy with 2 black eyes?
Nothing you already told him twice. :D :D What do you tell a woman with 2 Black eyes?
You tell her "BITCH DONT YOU EVER HIT ME AGAIN OR I'LL KILL YOU NEXT TIME!" While punching her in the mouth.

78Eliminator
07-15-2003, 11:02 AM
Boozer:
MRS FLYIN VEE:
What do you tell a guy with 2 black eyes?
Nothing you already told him twice. :D :D What do you tell a woman with 2 Black eyes?
You tell her "BITCH DONT YOU EVER HIT ME AGAIN OR I'LL KILL YOU NEXT TIME!" While punching her in the mouth. Down boy!

MRS FLYIN VEE
07-15-2003, 11:04 AM
He's just mad because he's the one with the two black eyes. :D :D

Blown 472
07-15-2003, 11:06 AM
Once you get the vaginas you get the power.

Ms. AquaBoogie1
07-15-2003, 11:14 AM
Nice Avatar Blown472....you think there big enough????? wink

VillainDave
07-15-2003, 11:16 AM
Moneypitt:
Did you know that Michael Jackson is suing the group Boyz to men.
He's claiming false advertising, he thought they were a delivery service!!!! LMAO!!!! :D :D

VillainDave
07-15-2003, 11:18 AM
MRS FLYIN VEE:
He's just mad because he's the one with the two black eyes. :D :D Perfect reply!!!!

MRS FLYIN VEE
07-15-2003, 11:19 AM
I thought it was pretty good myself. Thanks!

Foolish
07-15-2003, 11:35 AM
Q: What do you call an anorexic 14 year old with a yeast infection?
A: 1/4 pounder with cheese.

Boozer
07-15-2003, 11:44 AM
The 2 black eyes are the resulf of 2 large breasts hitting me in the eyes over the weekends. I told her to leave her bra on but she didn't listen.

BiggusJimbus
07-15-2003, 11:47 AM
There's a shelter called the Tempura House.
It's for lightly battered women
*************
Why do women get PMS?
They deserve it.
********************

MRS FLYIN VEE
07-15-2003, 11:48 AM
Well it would be like you leaving on your shoes!!
lol!!!! :D

Blown 472
07-15-2003, 11:49 AM
Ms. AquaBoogie1:
Nice Avatar Blown472....you think there big enough????? wink Yup, but sadly they dont bounce like yours. frown

MRS FLYIN VEE
07-15-2003, 11:52 AM
BiggusJimbus:
There's a shelter called the Tempura House.
It's for lightly battered women
*************
Why do women get PMS?
They deserve it.
Men have pms also it's called Poor male stupidity :D lol!!! :D
********************

Ms. AquaBoogie1
07-15-2003, 11:58 AM
Blown 472:
Ms. AquaBoogie1:
Nice Avatar Blown472....you think there big enough????? wink Yup, but sadly they dont bounce like yours. :( LOL...too bad, that would've been nice to see. :D wink :p

Blown 472
07-15-2003, 12:00 PM
Ms. AquaBoogie1:
Blown 472:
Ms. AquaBoogie1:
Nice Avatar Blown472....you think there big enough????? wink Yup, but sadly they dont bounce like yours. :( LOL...too bad, that would've been nice to see. :D wink :p Really?? Joy.