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View Full Version : Did your mom teach you right???



Wet Dream
01-17-2003, 09:25 AM
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next
week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
" Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, They are going to freeze that
way."
19. My mother taught me ESP .
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come
running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
" Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite : my mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Beautiful Noise
01-17-2003, 09:32 AM
LMAO....You left out the Part about Going Blind and Hairy Palm's boxed
Steve

Blown 472
01-17-2003, 09:34 AM
Beautiful Noise:
LMAO....You left out the Part about Going Blind and Hairy Palm's boxed
Steve I think I put something up about that yesterday, If you like I could get the book.

Beautiful Noise
01-17-2003, 09:36 AM
LOL......Blown472,I should have known :rolleyes:
Steve

GlastronGuy
01-17-2003, 10:28 AM
Blown 472
You have issues. Maybe you better look at this. Link (http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Spa/9124/)
wink

ACCEPTENCE
01-17-2003, 10:35 AM
Thats classic and so damn true... Is this what we tell ourselves we'll never repeat to our kids???

Wet Dream
01-17-2003, 12:47 PM
Don't we tell ourselves when we're kids "I will be alot nicer to MY kids when I grow up"

Blown 472
01-17-2003, 12:50 PM
GlastronGuy:
Blown 472
You have issues. Maybe you better look at this. Link (http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Spa/9124/)
wink Thanks for the heads up, but I have that all right here in my little book. :D

78Eliminator
01-17-2003, 12:53 PM
I only really get along with people who have issues. Normal is boring.

Blown 472
01-17-2003, 12:57 PM
78Eliminator:
I only really get along with people who have issues. Normal is boring. Thank you my brutha, kinda like doing it missonary style all the time. sleeping

78Eliminator
01-17-2003, 01:00 PM
Blown 472:
78Eliminator:
I only really get along with people who have issues. Normal is boring. Thank you my brutha, kinda like doing it missonary style all the time. sleeping Variety, spontaneity and inventiveness are the spice of life.

Liberator TJ1984
01-17-2003, 01:06 PM
Ideas are put into your mind, and more and more you won't think of a girl as a person to love, but as an object there to satisfy all the perverted desires which meanwhile are inside you. Maybe one day the desire is so strong that you will visit a prostitute, and sowith completely destroy your relationship to sex and love. Do you want to be like this?? eek! say it ain't so :rolleyes:

Blown 472
01-17-2003, 01:10 PM
Well, well, well, looks like someone has found his manual also. :D

Liberator TJ1984
01-17-2003, 01:12 PM
After that intimate talk w / RK I decided I need to seek help :D

78Eliminator
01-17-2003, 01:18 PM
Liberator TJ1984:
Ideas are put into your mind, and more and more you won't think of a girl as a person to love, but as an object there to satisfy all the perverted desires which meanwhile are inside you. Maybe one day the desire is so strong that you will visit a prostitute, and sowith completely destroy your relationship to sex and love. Do you want to be like this?? eek! say it ain't so :rolleyes: You can have a special lady who can be kinky with you AND you can love her. Lots of guys make the mistake of the "Madonna/*****" approach which always leads to infidelity. The best relationship is when you can just be honest that you want to put a toilet plunger in her ass, and see if she goes running for the door or turns around and bends over.
[ January 17, 2003, 01:21 PM: Message edited by: 78Eliminator ]

Blown 472
01-17-2003, 01:20 PM
78Eliminator:
Liberator TJ1984:
Ideas are put into your mind, and more and more you won't think of a girl as a person to love, but as an object there to satisfy all the perverted desires which meanwhile are inside you. Maybe one day the desire is so strong that you will visit a prostitute, and sowith completely destroy your relationship to sex and love. Do you want to be like this?? eek! say it ain't so :rolleyes: You can have a special lady who can be kinky with you AND you can love her. Lots of guys make the mistake of the "Madonna/*****" approach whice alwyas leads to infidelity. The best relationship is when you can just be honest that you want to put a toilet plunger in her ass, and see if she goes running for the door or turns around and bends over. LMFAO :D :D :D

Liberator TJ1984
01-17-2003, 01:29 PM
The best relationship is when you can just be honest that you want to put a toilet plunger in her ass, and see if she goes running for the door or turns around and bends over.Quote un-Quote..
Nice ,78 Nice
I'll have to remember that one during my next date, ain't Love Grand :D :D :D

78Eliminator
01-17-2003, 01:30 PM
Liberator TJ1984:
Nice ,78 Nice
I'll have to remember that one during my next date, ain't Love Grand :D :D :D Whoa!!!!! Don't do advanced sexualy deviant maneuvers on the first date. That will scare her away for sure!!!

Liberator TJ1984
01-17-2003, 01:39 PM
Your on to something here though 78 !!! Weed e'm out early before you have too much time and money invested in a relationship that is uncompatable!!
Your a Genius !!! wink
How do you do it ???
Gopherrr
[ January 17, 2003, 02:56 PM: Message edited by: Liberator TJ1984 ]

MJ19
01-17-2003, 04:19 PM
Blown 472
You have issues. Maybe you better look at this. Link (http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Spa/9124/)
wink I want to know why you know where this site is? Do you have it bookmarked as they suggest?
You can have a special lady who can be kinky with you AND you can love her. Lots of guys make the mistake of the "Madonna/*****" approach which always leads to infidelity. The best relationship is when you can just be honest that you want to put a toilet plunger in her ass, and see if she goes running for the door or turns around and bends over.
So did she run? wink

Jesse James
01-17-2003, 08:07 PM
lmao

ACCEPTENCE
01-17-2003, 08:54 PM
Wet Dream:
Don't we tell ourselves when we're kids "I will be alot nicer to MY kids when I grow up" Oh-yeah...that's what it was.
I knew there was something like that. Memory, it's the first thing to go!!!

JetBoatRich
01-17-2003, 09:11 PM
Thank you Mom wink

Badboat1
01-17-2003, 09:27 PM
My,Mom told me there would be tramps in my life and,There I married one. Easy close she is long gone and I have a great one now and I do love her to death she is the best.And mom tell me sooner next time.Wasted 10 years of my life and she did not like speed in a boat.
http://free.***boat.net/ubb/Avatars/Forum_Graphic_Depot/Texoma_0008.JPG
Badboat1