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FMluvswater
05-17-2003, 12:06 AM
SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.
SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.
SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself chained to bar.
SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.
SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.
SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.
SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender, take taxi home.
SYMPTOM: Truck suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.
SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.
SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.
SYMPTOM: Hands hurts, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.
SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.
SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.
SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.

Rexone
05-17-2003, 01:09 AM
good one FM
http://perso.wanadoo.fr/schatzkiste/animierte-gifs/smilies/bilder/491.gif

FMluvswater
05-17-2003, 01:16 AM
Rexone:
good one FM
http://perso.wanadoo.fr/schatzkiste/animierte-gifs/smilies/bilder/491.gif I was wondering where you were. :) Busy working?

Rexone
05-17-2003, 01:18 AM
Very frown

FMluvswater
05-17-2003, 01:23 AM
Rexone:
Very :( Awww! Poor Mike. You want quick entertainment? I'm bored I can go Google for pics, cartoons, jokes whatever you want then you can just look at stuff and you won't have to reply. :)

Rexone
05-17-2003, 01:26 AM
FMluvswaterbabe:
Rexone:
Very :( Awww! Poor Mike. You want quick entertainment? I'm bored I can go Google for pics, cartoons, jokes whatever you want then you can just look at stuff and you won't have to reply. :) lmao, you are "really" bored :D
where's Tom, he must have said nite nite

FMluvswater
05-17-2003, 01:30 AM
Rexone:
FMluvswaterbabe:
Rexone:
Very :( Awww! Poor Mike. You want quick entertainment? I'm bored I can go Google for pics, cartoons, jokes whatever you want then you can just look at stuff and you won't have to reply. :) lmao, you are "really" bored :D
where's Tom, he must have said nite nite Yes I am. :D Seriously I love doing stuff like that. My friends send me Googling for them all the time. :)
Tom kinda disappeared I guess he must have gone nite nite.

spectratoad
05-17-2003, 07:46 AM
That was good FM. I will have to to take that to the lake and post it in camp by the first aid kit.
Mike - I order some engine hatch hinges from you and got them a day or two later. Exceptional! :D Now if the burningm *$&%* burningm would get my interior done I could put them to use when I take next week off and head to the lake.

Holland
05-17-2003, 12:07 PM
Too funny!!!!!!!!!