Advice Needed

[Baby Doll]

OK I know this has nothing to do with boats or chicks...BUT I need advice on how to deal with a bully at my kids school. To top it off the bully's Mom is in tight w/ the teachers 'cus she's in PTA. Any help would be appreciated. wink

[JetBoatRich]

Two wrongs don't make a right, so I woun't go there. :mad:
Did you say anything to teacher? Go above her head, principle, etc. How old are the kids?

[Mandelon]

Put your kid in Karate class and have Mr Yamaguchi teach him how to kick the bully's ass!!!
or.....
Let the teacher and principal know if they don't take appropriate steps to have your child protected you will file a lawsuit!!!
You tell them you want to know what steps will be taken to ensure that the school is a safe and healthy environment......or they will hearing from your lawyer.....
That's all they understand.

[hoolign]

This is a problem in all schools,up here in Albereta they actually passed a bullying law,fines can be imposed!I remember when I was in school and two wrongs did make a right,just depended
which wrong had a better left hook :D

[Tinkerer]

Speeking from experience-- Teach your kid how to fight and he will get a lot more respect from his clasmates. Just make sure to teach him that it is for self defence only and he will have to deal with you if he uses it for anything else.
Also it will be GOOD father/son time if both of you learn at the same time.
Complaining to the higher ups will just get him more of the same.
[ May 03, 2003, 12:10 PM: Message edited by: Tinkerboater ]

[CARRERA]

Wax on Wax off.................

[mike37]

We had trouble with our son
Principle would not do any thing said our son must be doing something to instigate
The bully always had friend to say nothing happened
At or school both party of a fight get detention
So I told my son to wait for them to start something when there were teachers in the yard
Then get into the biggest fight he could
He did that got Somme attention
Got detention to both him and the bully
This happened two times
The bully decided it was not worth it any more
Now my son is left alone
The bullies no he will fight back
And pleas don’t tell me fighting is bad and IM not a good father
Somme time you need to stand up and fight or you will get walked all over

[396_Z]

Been there done that...
Take junior down to a good martial arts instructor, explain the situation to him/her. Most good instructors have kids join up all the time for the same reasons, sometimes the same bully. Keep him going at least 3 days a week for a few months. The whole time tell him to keep his mouth shut and his head down.
In about 3 months he'll know enough to inflict some damage of his own if he gets picked on. Always tell him that he will get in trouble for fighting only if he defends himself in a manner that isn't appropriate (i.e. pushing/shoving instead of what his instructor is teaching)
About the same time as you son is ready to try handleing things himself tell the school pricipal one last time that if they don't do something your child will.
When it comes time that the bully feels froggy you son is going to react and probably end up kicking him several times. The school will call you and tell you he's being suspended for fighting. Ask how soon he'll be home and the details of the incident. IF he defended himself appropriately it very important that you sound pleased and ask that he be sent home right away so you guys can go to baskin-robins before the rush.
Here's the behind the scenes info for all that. Schools know they are responsible for everything that happens to every child from the time they leave their house in the morning to the time they arrive home. If you child gets beat up the school is responsible. Needless to say they don't like fights. However, fighting for the right reasons and to defend themselves is a good thing to teach them, especially boys. What happens when you child is 23, out on a date with a nice woman and some drunk gets fresh with her? Time for him to stand up and be a man is what I say. If that means fighting to defend a lady then I'm all for it and I think it's the right thing to do. The schools would rather they sat around and sang cuum-by-ya.
In the mean time while your waiting for your child to be ready to take out the bully make one last complaint to the pricipal. The next time anything happens after you complain to the pricipal go down and sit in the superintendants office. I say sit because they will be busy. Wait for them or the assistant super. Complain that the principal is doing nothing and your ready to go to the school board if nothing is done. The next day expect a phone call from the principal. They will tell you not to worry, they will make sure the bully is taken care of. He will be too because you just made the principal look really bad and could have possibly ended the upward direction of their career.
Trust me on all this, worked like a charm with my former stepson and my mom has been a school secratary for close to 20 years. I know all about how to get action in the public school system.
[ May 03, 2003, 01:35 PM: Message edited by: 396_Z ]

[bchbum]

My girls are 7 year old twins , so they are a little smaller .They had a bigger kid picking on 1 ,so I told them if they had to get the other one & teach her a lesson . When she saw the 2 of them she backed off .Good teamwork girls !!!

[RJ Nordic]

My recommendation is that you make an appointment with the teacher first to discuss the matter. If that doesn't seem to resolve the matter then make an appointment with the Principal. Being prepared ahead of time with specific incidents, dates times, and names that the problems have occured is a great deal of help. If after this things havent changed then notify the Principal that you will be contacting the Superintendent of School for the District, and follow through with the same data. This generally brings about changes/reaction. If not then pen a letter to the President of the School Board and cc the above people.
Give each step a try so that down the line if you are not getting results, and legal council is needed the courts will look favorably upon your case since you followed procedure and tried to resolve the issue through the proper channels. Good luck

[uglystick]

MY WIFE SAYS GO TO THE BULLY'S PARENTS. MYSELF I'D PROBABLY DO SOMETHING STUPID LIKE THREATEN THEM BUT SHE SAYS DISCUSS THE PROBLEM.I DON'T KNOW HOW TO "DISCUSS PROBLEMS" BUT MAYBE HAVE THE WIFE'S HANDLE IT.

[HOSS]

You could substitute steroids for vitamins.

[396_Z]

RJ Nordic:
My recommendation is that you make an appointment with the teacher first to discuss the matter. If that doesn't seem to resolve the matter then make an appointment with the Principal. Being prepared ahead of time with specific incidents, dates times, and names that the problems have occured is a great deal of help. If after this things havent changed then notify the Principal that you will be contacting the Superintendent of School for the District, and follow through with the same data. This generally brings about changes/reaction. If not then pen a letter to the President of the School Board and cc the above people.
Give each step a try so that down the line if you are not getting results, and legal council is needed the courts will look favorably upon your case since you followed procedure and tried to resolve the issue through the proper channels. Good luck Sing cuum-by-ya while your there.....

[Stupid Fast]

This advice is coming from a guy who was the smallest in his class until 7th grade.
Every time he gets bullied have him go nuts on the kid. He my not win, but I garuntee that he will atleast get a few good licks in. '"This may cause a few bruises. After a few times though the bully will stop and move on to another kid. Chances are soon the bully will actually respect your son.
How old is your kid? This works best under 8th grade.
Eric

[hot_diggity_dog]

Two wrongs don't make a right, so I woun't go there. Put your kid in Karate class and have Mr Yamaguchi teach him how to kick the bully's ass!!! Take junior down to a good martial arts instructor, explain the situation to him/her. Most good instructors have kids join up all the time for the same reasons, sometimes the same bully. Keep him going at least 3 days a week for a few months. The whole time tell him to keep his mouth shut and his head down. Ok I think I'm qualified to answer. wink
I'll let the cat out of the bag, I was going to wait until HOSS and I got into it and he challenged me to a fight. eek! J/K LMAO
I am a 3rd degree black belt in the Japanese style of Shotokan. :rolleyes:
I was the 1989 National light Heavy Weight Champion in sparring. Runner up in 1988, been on the USA National team for three years and have been to the world championships. :D
I have also trained many kids just like yours with these same problems.
About 70 kids a week for about seven years.
There is nothing physically I can teach your Kid to make this bully problem go away. :confused:
He must have a stronger mental mind to overcome these situations.
If the situation does become physical the bully will win in 90% of the situations.
Also in today's sue 1st, find out who was wrong second society, its usually the person who retaliates that gets in trouble not the instigator.
Situation:
I work with a women who's teenage son was involved in the same situation and retaliated.
It would make most dad's proud the way he cracked the focker in the mouth and broke out 2-3 teeth and broke his nose.
Well now after the Bullies parents have filed a law suit and then they got him expelled from school (no tolerance policy) they are going through a big turmoil in their family and have to deal with legal fees and the possibility of their kid going to do some time or have a criminal record. Just to prove he is tough by standing up.
A few possible solutions
1. Face to Face with the parents and the two boy's.
2. Principal
3. Kick his dad's ass J/K
4. Have the two mom's oil wrestle in the lawn with g-strings on. Not Kidding
5. Be the bigger man and teach your son the right way to handle situations, and let it go and avoid conflict.
Many choices out there in life choose the one that will cause you the least amount of grief and pain.
Take your kid boating and forget this little punk focker.
Believe me when it comes to shit like this I believe violence is the best policy and will definitely shut people up and it will give you respect but it usually gets you into legal trouble as well.
Or call me I can take him.
MY .02
HDD :cool:

[Sandbar Junkies]

Find out where the kid lives go to his house and WOOOP HIS DADS ASS like there no tomorrow and tell the kid don't ever look at your kid again. :D That will probally work well.
[ May 04, 2003, 08:44 AM: Message edited by: Sandbar Junkies ]

[BrendellaJet]

Since when is self defense a crime? Give me a break. The only people who can get sued for a fist fight is the school. This is provided that you have documentation of informing the school officials about a particular bully- I would take this all the way to the top if the principal wont do anything about it. Dont go to the bullies parents. Your boy will get made fun of by everyone at school and that will just create more problems. My dad tought me one rule in regards to fighting: Let them start it, you finish it. Standing up to a bully is the best way to get them to leave you alone. If your kid gets beat up, then you can sue the school, if he kicks the bullies ass, then it was self defense. Oh yeah, when minors turn 18, their records are sealed. For all intents, anything that happened while they were minors is forgotten.

[Stupid Fast]

BrendellaJet:
Oh yeah, when minors turn 18, their records are sealed. For all intents, anything that happened while they were minors is forgotten. THANK GOD :D

[Thunderbutt]

My freshman year trying out for baseball and this upper classman (bully) whos position I was going for, said hey little man you know I'm bigger then you. My reply was, yes you are, but do you know how to fight. Well he didn't, I kicked his ass. On of the coach,s sent us to the locker room to wait for the head coach, so I kick his ass again. By the time the coach showed up, the bully was out and I was gone to homeroom class. I played baseball the next four years, the coach never mentioned it.

[silver surfer]

Fights are a monthly event or even weekly at some schools. Most do not end up in law suits. Most don't even end up in the office;they take it off campus. My experience, working as an A.P., both parties would be suspended if their is a fight. Not saying that is right, just the way it is. If you get the school involved, put the concerns in writing, to the principal, and cc. a copy to the superintendent. (this will grab their attention)Set up an appointment, and hand the letter in person, have he or she read it, they will focus on the cc and be willing to talk. Buzz words are safe and secure environment, bullying, taunting, etc.. Threats of law suit are silly-most know that they are just threats. It takes money to file, and most lawyers need damages. Hope this helps. Good luck-all else fails- tell your kid to kick his ass and take a day of suspension.

[fixit1002]

look I was picked on all my life i had no freinds in school when my mom went to the school and complained it only got worse you peoplew who think talk is the way arent the ones gettin picked on it is a very emotional damaging thing by the time the talk is over the kid will be scared forever I didnt have freinds untill i finnaly stood up for myself when we moved to a new school district and i swore it wasnt going to happen again so when i got picked on i went nuts on the kid after that the other kids thought i was crazy and fig they better leave me alone when my mom tried to talk to the parents they thoght it was funny the next day the kid tore down our fence and his parents called the cops on me to say i broke into there house and the fence got tore down when i ran home when there son caught me im telling the truth some parents are worse than the kids where do you think they become bullys anyway my 2cents

[TRG]

Threaten the mom as well as the teach' and be sure to get your point across thats how you will get the respect that you deserve ,...at least thats what my mom did for me back in the 4th grade! burningm

[Pet This]

I'm all for teaching your kid to defend him/her self. But, coming from a teacher's point of view(that's what I am) every teacher and adminstrator at that school is charged with the responsibility of your childs safety. If their not doing their jobs, forget the pee-ons and go straight to the superintendent of the district, and be pissed! Do not allow them to have you talk to someone else, demand THE MAN! The principle will see to it your child is no longer picked on or he will be canned!

[Mandelon]

The teachers and principal can't be watching over this kid all the time. Teach him some self defense skills and it will help his overall confidence and self esteem.
Even if he gets knocked around a little he will at least stand up for himself, and gain the respect of the other kids. You don't want the guy going "postal" later. Remember Santana High School.

[boatnam2]

the best way to handle it is find a kid a little tougher then the bully have him whip the bullys ass and just before he leaves whisper in his ear to stop bothering your kid.

[hot_diggity_dog]

Where is the dad in all of this? I hate to disagree with the martial arts group in here, but i don't think it's worth all the effort for one bully. I'd just tell him to pretend to make nice with him and about the time the hand shake is supposed to come out sock him in the throat and kick he living shit out of him when he's on the ground. After the fight is clearly over kick him in the head 4 or 5 more times just to get the point across. He won't be bothering yer kid anymore and i don't think anyone else in the school will either. Hey I have no problem with the sucker punch or the ass kicking's. :D :rolleyes:
I just hope after the 1st sucker punch the other guy doesn't break his bones and F@$@#k him up. eek!
If he could take him, why hasn't he already done it? :confused:
Or if all else fails we can get him or any of you enrolled into something like this. wink LOL
Kick bully's ass (http://www.kickbully.com/)
HDD :cool:

[BENZEEN]

Baby Doll:
OK I know this has nothing to do with boats or chicks...BUT I need advice on how to deal with a bully at my kids school. To top it off the bully's Mom is in tight w/ the teachers 'cus she's in PTA. Any help would be appreciated. wink BD,
Chances are, this bully has never been punched in the nose. If the teacher and principal have done nothing, than it is time for action. Your son may get his ass kicked, but that bully will have a taste of his first nose bleed. Your son will also gain a little school yard respect.
Good Luck,
Vik

[SchellSchock]

I had the same experience with my Step son and some "Bussed in" Hispanics bulling him and his friend. The resolution happened this way:
Went to School and asked to talk to Principal,(Not teacher, not an aide, not Vice Principal, go directley too the top), and inform him/her of the problem.
State the following:
You are aware of the fact that the SCHOOL is responsible for your childs well being from the time that they leave your house until the time that the child returns home. Inform the principal that you are not sending your child to school to be anybody's punching bag and that you will not accept their lame excuses. Let them know catagorically that they are to resolve the issue and if they don't three things will happen.
1. You will sue the school for failure to do their responsibility.
2. You have enrolled your child in a self defence class and will back him 100% if an altercation results from their inaction.
3. YOU will handle the problem if they don't.
Find the little a$$hole/s and when you can get them alone threaten them with a butt kicking. THIS IS IMPORTANT. When they respond with "I am a kid you can't touch me", respond with "I WILL FIND YOU WHEN YOU ARE ALONE AND THERE ARE NO WITNESS' AND I WILL BEAT YOU WITHIN AN INCH OF YOUR LIFE!!!!

[Baby Doll]

Hey Guys--
Thanks so much for the advice. My daughter is only 8 so I didn't want to teach her to fight yet. We handled it today with the teacher. Unfortunately the kids Mom is PTA pres. so I was trying not to stir the crap too much. But the teacher agreed to handle it and let the other parent know what her kid is doing. It had just gotten to the point that I was about to bypass all levels and go straight to the Board. Luckily she has a teacher that is approachable no matter what the problem is. Thanks again everyone!!! :p

[Mandelon]

Still nothing wrong with a self defense class. Might help to keep the bad little boys away........ :D :D

[SchellSchock]

Baby Doll...
Another story....
My daughter was in 1st Grade..6or7 years old when I got a call from the school to please talk to the teacher when I picked her up. I got there and my daughter was standing with a teache crying, (she thought she was in trouble). The teacher explained that a "Bully" boy was pushing the other kids to the ground from behind and when he did it to my daughter she got up and doing as I taught her made a solid fist and hit him in his eye. He ran off bauling to the nearest aide. The teacher I talked to explained she understood when I told her I had taught my child to "Never in anyway start a fight but she was to use the things I showed her to defend herself." The only request the teacher made was would I instruct my daughter to hit in the "stomach" not the "face".
It is never to young to instruct your children about defending themselves. "Bullies" typically are wimps and once stood up to will backoff.

[Charley]

Karate?? Don't you guy's watch bare knuckle fights? WRESTLING is where it's at !!! Grapplers rule the strikers hehehehe//// teach yer kid to go in for a single leg take down ( I usually tap my opponent on the forhead before I shoot) now if he shoots the single deep enough he can go straight to the firemans carry( there is a bonus bully punishment built into this move).....after the bully is down have yer boy stick both legs in, arching his back (thus breaking him down) and then start cross facing as he whispers in his ear " this bullying stuff really needs to stop dontch think"?
Ok I had a little fun there.... as much as I hate to say this cause I DESPISE frivolous law suits.... threaten one and it will probably be the least confrontational way to keep your kid out of harms way. If they don't respond to that listen to Sandbar junkies and have the Dad's fight it out...
Ok sorry I'm kidding......sorta :D

[hot_diggity_dog]

Karate?? Don't you guy's watch bare knuckle fights? WRESTLING is where it's at !!! Grapplers rule the strikers hehehehe//// teach yer kid to go in for a single leg take down ( I usually tap my opponent on the forhead before I shoot) now if he shoots the single deep enough he can go straight to the firemans carry( there is a bonus bully punishment built into this move).....after the bully is down have yer boy stick both legs in, arching his back (thus breaking him down) and then start cross facing as he whispers in his ear " this bullying stuff really needs to stop dontch think"?
Hey Charley,
I totally agree except, since we are talking about Girls wrestling, wink
after setting up the fireman's carry you should definitely go right into the Saturday night ride. :D (Real wrestlers know)
HDD :cool:

[CA Stu]

Two words: Pepper spray cry
CA Stu

[Charley]

hot_diggity_dog:
Karate?? Don't you guy's watch bare knuckle fights? WRESTLING is where it's at !!! Grapplers rule the strikers hehehehe//// teach yer kid to go in for a single leg take down ( I usually tap my opponent on the forhead before I shoot) now if he shoots the single deep enough he can go straight to the firemans carry( there is a bonus bully punishment built into this move).....after the bully is down have yer boy stick both legs in, arching his back (thus breaking him down) and then start cross facing as he whispers in his ear " this bullying stuff really needs to stop dontch think"?
Hey Charley,
I totally agree except, since we are talking about Girls wrestling, wink
after setting up the fireman's carry you should definitely go right into the Saturday night ride. :D (Real wrestlers know)
HDD :cool: LMAO
I know wink

[cheezpanel]

"Bullying" occurs in many many schools at all grade levels. Teasing and intimidation as well as physical incidents all fall under the umbrella of "bullying." Good for you for talking to the teacher first. If that doesn't get you the results you're looking for, go to the principal and then the district administrators. School counselors often times can help as well. Bullying shouldn't be tolerated, and most of the offenders will get tired of the consequences (if they are dealt with). Students have the right to defend themselves, but make sure the line is drawn between self defense (actually being harmed), and retaliation. :p

[DickDanger]

This is a learned behavior, most likely from the parent(s). Kill the bullies parents while the kid is made to watch....heh heh, only kidding of course. Bullies are almost ALWAYS pussies behind a large bark, and will back right down when confronted. Tell your kid to stand up to him. -DD

[CA Stu]

After thinking about it, I decided that the full course of martial arts training or the litigious solution are not the correct approach.
Most mature individuals know that bullies will quit after one solid shot to the lips, so why waste the time and effort on the aforementioned courses of action.
Here is the solution:
Make your son watch Karate Kid, then Roadhouse, then Rocky. Send him to bed, then the next day, grind up 4 Ripped Fuel tabs in his Froot Loops, crank metal in the car all the way to school, then let nature take it's course.
Good Luck
CA Stu <- Can't we all just get along?