Friday funnies

[Cas]

GRANDPA ON THE PORCH
A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather
sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, wearing only a shirt, with nothing
on from the waist down.
"Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for
everyone to see!" he exclaimed.
The old man looked off in the distance without answering.
"Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below
the waist?" he asked again.
The old man slowly looked at him and said, "Well...last week I sat
out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck.
This is your grandma's idea."

[Cas]

On his trip to Great Britain, George Bush had a meeting with
QueenElizabeth. He asked her, "How does one manage to run a country
sosmoothly?" "That's easy," she replied, "You surround yourself with
intelligent ministers and advisors." "But how can I tell whether they
are intelligent or not?" he inquired. "You ask them a riddle," she
replied, and with that she pressed a button and said, "Would you please
send Tony Blair in." When Blair arrived, the Queen said, "I have a
riddle for you to answer for me. Your parents had a child and it was not
your sister and it was not your brother. Who was this child ?" Blair
replied, "That's easy. The child was me." "Very good," said the Queen,
"You may go, now." So President Bush went back to Washington and called
in his chief ofstaff, Karl Rove. He said to him, "I have a riddle for
you, and the answer is very important. Your parents had a child and it
was not your sister and it was not your brother. Who was this child ?"
Rove replied, "Yes, it is clearly very important that we determine
theanswer, as no child must be left behind. Can I deliberate on this for
awhile?" "Yes," said Bush, "I'll give you four hours to come up with the
answer." So Rove went and called a meeting of the White House Staff, and
asked them the riddle. But after much discussion and many suggestions,
none of them had a satisfactory answer. So he was quite upset, not
knowing what he would tell the President. As Rove was walking back to
the Oval Office, he saw former Secretary of State Colin Powell
approaching him. So he said, "Mr. Secretary, can you answer this riddle
for me. Your parents had a child and it was not your sister and it was
not your brother. Who was the child?" "That's easy," said Powell, "The
child was me." "Oh thank you," said Rove, "You may just have saved me my
job!" So Rove went in to the Oval Office and said to President Bush, "I
think I know the answer to your riddle. The child was Colin Powell!"
"No, you idiot!" shouted Bush, "The child was Tony Blair!"

[FMluvswater]

GRANDPA ON THE PORCH
A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather
sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, wearing only a shirt, with nothing
on from the waist down.
"Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for
everyone to see!" he exclaimed.
The old man looked off in the distance without answering.
"Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below
the waist?" he asked again.
The old man slowly looked at him and said, "Well...last week I sat
out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck.
This is your grandma's idea."
That is hilarious! I just shared that to my friend and she cracked up too! :D Thanks for the post Cas! :cool:

[Nicked prop]

A coed goes to the doctor for a rash on her chest. She undresses and the doctor sees the rash is a large "H". The coed tells him "My boyfriend goes to Harvard. He likes to make love with his sweater on." Doctor gives her some ointment and sends her on her way. Two weeks later she's back. This time when she pulls up her shirt there's a large "Y" on her chest. "My other boyfriend goes to Yale and likes to make love with his sweater on," she explains. Doctor prescribes more ointment and she's on her way. Two more weeks pass and she's back at the doctor. Her shirt comes off and she has a rash in the shape of a large "M" on her chest. "Let me guess," the doctor says, "you also have a boyfriend that goes to Michigan." The coed replies,"No, it's a girlfriend. She goes to Wisconsin."