Mandelon
02-21-2003, 01:28 PM
How to Shower Like a Woman> > >
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned
laundry hamper according to lights and darks
2 . Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If
you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed
areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror make
mental note to do more sit-ups.
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg
cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo
with 43 added vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint
conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave
on hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub
for 10 minutesuntil red.
9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa
cake body wash. 10. Curse because your husband has
been eating your ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
11. Rinse conditioner off hair.
12. Shave armpits and legs.
13. Turn off shower.
14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray
mold spots with Tilex.
15. Get out of shower. Dry with first towel the size
of a small country.
15a. Wrap hair in second (and only other clean and
dry) super absorbent towel.
16. Check entire body for zits, tweeze unwanted hairs.
17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and
towel on head.
17a. Leave wetter of the two towels on rack for
husband to use.
18. If you see husband along the way, cover up any
exposed areas.
> > > How To Shower Like a Man> > >> >
>************************
1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the
bed and leave them in a pile next to yesterdays pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along
the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo'
sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire
the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
4. Get in the shower.
4a. Brush teeth (electric toothbrush not a problem)
4b. Shave with wife's razor. (this can be unpleasant
but it beats getting out of shower to get your own
razor)
5. Wash your face.
6. Wash your armpits.
7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water
rinse them off .
8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at
how loud they sound in the shower.
9. Spend majority of time washing privates and
surrounding area.
10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs
stuck on the> >soap.
11. Shampoo your hair.
12. Taste your wife's ginger nut and jaffa cake body
wash.
13. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
14. Pee.
15. Rinse off and get out of shower.
16. Partially dry off ("Partially" is because the
already wet towel wouldn't absorb any more water).
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
hanging out of tub the whole time.
17. Admire wiener size in mirror again.
18. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light
and fan on .
19. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If
you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and
make the 'woo-woo ' sound again.
20. Throw wet towel on bed.
***Note: A man's shower basically consists of all
essential bathroom functions (except No. 2 ... which,
if we could flush a shower, would not be excluded)
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned
laundry hamper according to lights and darks
2 . Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If
you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed
areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror make
mental note to do more sit-ups.
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg
cloth, long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo
with 43 added vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint
conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave
on hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub
for 10 minutesuntil red.
9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa
cake body wash. 10. Curse because your husband has
been eating your ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
11. Rinse conditioner off hair.
12. Shave armpits and legs.
13. Turn off shower.
14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray
mold spots with Tilex.
15. Get out of shower. Dry with first towel the size
of a small country.
15a. Wrap hair in second (and only other clean and
dry) super absorbent towel.
16. Check entire body for zits, tweeze unwanted hairs.
17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and
towel on head.
17a. Leave wetter of the two towels on rack for
husband to use.
18. If you see husband along the way, cover up any
exposed areas.
> > > How To Shower Like a Man> > >> >
>************************
1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the
bed and leave them in a pile next to yesterdays pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along
the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo'
sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire
the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
4. Get in the shower.
4a. Brush teeth (electric toothbrush not a problem)
4b. Shave with wife's razor. (this can be unpleasant
but it beats getting out of shower to get your own
razor)
5. Wash your face.
6. Wash your armpits.
7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water
rinse them off .
8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at
how loud they sound in the shower.
9. Spend majority of time washing privates and
surrounding area.
10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs
stuck on the> >soap.
11. Shampoo your hair.
12. Taste your wife's ginger nut and jaffa cake body
wash.
13. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
14. Pee.
15. Rinse off and get out of shower.
16. Partially dry off ("Partially" is because the
already wet towel wouldn't absorb any more water).
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
hanging out of tub the whole time.
17. Admire wiener size in mirror again.
18. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light
and fan on .
19. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If
you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and
make the 'woo-woo ' sound again.
20. Throw wet towel on bed.
***Note: A man's shower basically consists of all
essential bathroom functions (except No. 2 ... which,
if we could flush a shower, would not be excluded)