Things you never hear on Star Trek...

[HighRoller]

I was just watching Star Trek The Next Generation and am amazed at the amount of composure by the crew in the face of unbelievable danger.Why don't we ever hear:
Picard saying"Giordy,back this thing up and get us the hell out of here!"
Worf saying"I suggest we blow their asses to kingdom come."
Giordy saying"It looks like we blew a fuse".
Riker saying"set phasers to castrate".
Deanna Troi saying"I'm sensing that the Klingon captain thinks we're assholes".
Data saying"my analysis indicates the captain of the Romulan ship is giving us the finger".
Dr.Crusher saying"my tricorder says you should make your last requests".

[Kilrtoy]

Why the **** are we in space. they couldnt find any other morons, I MISS THE RIVER

[HighRoller]

you know,that brings up another good question.Why don't they use the replicator to produce heroin or cocaine or at least a decent whiskey?And the holodeck?Why not replicate a room full of horny playmates who haven't seen a man in 4 years?

[Kilrtoy]

Why not replicate a room full of horny playmates who haven't seen a man in 4 years
You can have them, I'll take the penthouse pets and hustler honeys, we can swap when you get bored...

[HighRoller]

Actually I was thinking of feeding last month's Voluptuous magazine into the holodeck computer for replication.I agree with you,Playboy doesn't even get me hard anymore.By the way,why don't we ever see Deanna disciplining a crewmember for what he is thinking about her?"Ensign Jones,I do not believe imagining my lips wrapped around your phaser is proper conduct for a starfleet officer!"

[HighRoller]

What the hell?The engineer just said they were going to run a level one diagnostic on the diverter!I guess they must have had problems last time they tried to roost the Romulans....

[Kilrtoy]

LMAO